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Intimate Leaders are Friends of Jesus
Issue #408, October 1, 2025
Do you consider yourself a follower of Jesus or a friend of Jesus? The difference is profoundly significant. The words Jesus gave His disciples invite us to an intimate friendship:
14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other (John 15:14-17).
Friendship implies a close intimate relationship. Jesus reveals to the disciples that He desires an intimate friendship with them, much deeper than they have imagined. And He graciously shows them the way to this intimacy.
Intimate leaders are friends as they obey the commands of Jesus.
Jesus says, “You are my friends if you do what I command.” Obedience is expected and required for the followers of Jesus. He gave many commands to be obeyed. His commands in the context of this chapter focus on remaining or abiding in Him. Obedience to the commands to abide will produce intimacy and friendship. This is not a burdensome journey to win His friendship; it is a journey of deepening intimacy of relationship. Intimacy without obedience is impossible; but obedience without intimacy happens to many leaders, myself included!
Some leaders seek to win God’s favor through obedience alone without abiding. But serving leaders seek to walk so intimately with Jesus that they obey as friends on a journey.
Intimate leaders are friends as they understand the desires of Jesus.
Jesus clarifies why simple obedience is not what He wants, “....a servant does not know his master’s business.” Jesus contrasts friendship and service and cautions all leaders that it is possible to perform actions of service for Him without intimacy with Him. Servants are able to obey without really understanding the heart and desires of the master. They simply follow instructions. Jesus invites His disciples to move beyond mere obedience to a deeper understanding of His heart. He wants us to walk in obedience that flows from a deep friendship with Him.
Some leaders dutifully obey the commands of Jesus but remain far from His heart. They don’t cultivate the intimacy that is required to be a friend of Jesus. But serving leaders press in to find the heart of Jesus and as they understand His heart, live lives of joyful obedience.
Intimate leaders are friends as they respond to the invitation of Jesus.
Jesus makes it clear that this friendship is His choice, “You did not choose me, but I chose you....” We have the privilege of choosing our friends and Jesus has the same choice. Jesus chose us to be His friends! This must have been an astounding truth for the disciples who first heard these words. Jesus was inviting them into an intimate friendship with Himself. He was opening up His own life and heart to them and calling them to move beyond simple obedience to radical friendship. This was the culmination of all He had taught them about abiding in Him, to respond to His invitation to an intimate friendship.
Some leaders focus on their choice to follow Jesus and congratulate themselves for making the right choice. But serving leaders are amazed that Jesus chose them and joyfully choose to deepen their intimacy with Him. Then all their leadership flows from and is shaped by that response to the invitation of Jesus for friendship.
For further reflection and discussion:
- As I reflect on my own leadership regarding how much I am a friend of Jesus, how would I rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10? What blocks me from being a closer friend?
- Is my obedience my attempt to win Jesus’ friendship, or does it flow out of my abiding in Him? What is an example of that in my life in the past week?
- Do I see my relationship to Jesus more like a servant or a friend? How does this impact my leadership?
- After reflecting on these questions, read the entire chapter, John 15. What additional insights do I find in this chapter about how my intimacy with Jesus shapes my leadership?
Until next time, yours on the journey,
Jon Byler
In the next issue, we’ll begin a new series! If you would like this entire series on Intimacy in one document, click here to download. |
