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Kumbukirani zokambirana zomwe mudali nazo ndi mzanu wa ponda apa nane mpondepo. Ndi ndani yemwe ankalankhula kwambiri, inuyo kapena mzanuyo? Kodi yemwe ankalankhula kwambiriyo adalinso ndi kukhudza kwambiri? Nthawi zambiri timaganiza kuti yemwe amalankhula kwambiri pa zokambirana amakhala ndi kukhudza kwambiri. Izi ndi zoona nthawi zina, koma pafupifupi sinthawi zonse!
Atsogoleri ochititsa amaphunzira kuti nthawi zambiri kukhala chete pa zokambirana ndi chinthu cha nzeru. Amalingalira mawu ochokera mu Miyambo, ‘Opanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziwa; ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru; ngakhale chitsiru chitatonthola achiyesa chanzeru; posunama ali wochenjera (Miyambo 17: 27-28).
Atsogoleri otumikira amaphunzira kuti phokoso la chete mu zokambirana limaonetsera utsogoleri.
Kukhala chete mu zokambirana kumawonetsa kudziletsa, ‘Opanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziwa; ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru’ (17:27). Aliyense amafuna kuti liwu lake limveke. Ngakhale iwo omwe mwachilengedwe amasunga mawu kukhosi amakhala ndi chonena. Mu zokambirana ndi chachilengedwe ndi chophweka kumangolankhula. Ndi nthawi zambiri bwanji zomwe ‘timaluma lilime lathu’ posanena chenicheni chomwe chili mmalingaliro athu? Kukhala chete kumaonetsa kudziletsa kwakukulu. Ndizovuta ndipo zimatengera kudziletsa.
Nthawi zambiri atsogoleri amakhulupilira kuti ali ndi zambiri zoti alankhule kusiyana ndi ena ndipo masomphenya awo amalimbikitsa iwo kulankhula kwambiri kusiyna ndi ena. Atsogoleri osadziletsa adzapezeka kuti akulankhula okha pa zokambirana. Zokambirana zonse zimangokhala maganizo ndi nzeru zawo popereka mpata wochepa kwa munthu kapena anthu ena.
Koma atsogoleri otumikira amaphunzira kuti kuchititsa kungathe makamaka kukula pomwe mawu achepa. Kukhala chete kumapereka mpata womvetsera kwa wina. Funso lophweka lingathe kutsegula khomo la mtima wa munthu wina ndi kubweretsa thandizo kwa iwo. Atsogoleri otumikira amawonetsa kudziletsa pomwe akhala chete mu zokambirana.
Kukhala chete mu zokambirana kumawonetsa chitetezo, ‘Opanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziwa; ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru’ (17:27). Munthu wodzigwira amatha kulankhula ngati nkoyenera kutero, chimodzimodzinso amatha kukhala chete! Munthu uyu siakuyesetsa kusangalatsa anthu ndi mawu ambiri ndipo salabadira pa zomwe ena angaganize. Amafuna kumvetsera ndi kulemekeza munthu wina chifukwa akudzidziwa kale ndi maitanidwe ake omwe. Kuthekera uku kumaonetsa kutetezeka kwa umwini.
Mtsogoleri yemwe amalankhula kwambiri angathe kukhala kuti ndiwotha zakukhosi mwachibadwidwe. Koma mtsogoleri angathenso kukhala kuti ndiosatetezeka ndi kuona kufunika kokondweretsa aliyense omuzungulira ndi malankhulidwe ake. Amapitiliza kulankhula powaonetsa ena kuti iye ndi ofunikira. Atsogoleri otumikira angathe kukhala chete popanda mfundo zomwe angalankhule kuti awonetsere komanso osabisa kanthu. Atsogoleri otumikira amaonetsera kutetezeka kwawo pomwe akhala chete mu zokambirana.
Kukhala chete mu zokambirana kumaonetsa nzeru. ‘Ngakhale chitsiru chitatonthola achiyesa chanzeru; posunama ali wochenjera (17:28). Aliyense amadziwa kuti opusa amalankhula kwambiri, choncho kukhala chete kumaphatikizidwa ndi munthu wanzeru. Ngati opusa angakhale chete, ena adzapusitsidwa ndi kuganiza kuti ndi ochenjera! Vesi ili limatulutsa malankhulidwe oti, ‘Kuli bwino kukhala chete ndikuganiziridwa kuti ndiwe opusa, kusiyana ndi kulankhula pofuna kuchotsa chikaiko chonse.’
Nzeru mwina ingathe kuwonetseredwa kudzera mmawu abwino, koma ingathenso kuwonetseredwa mu chete! Atsogoleri otumikira amaphunzira kuti nthawi zambiri chinthu cha nzeru kwambiri kulankhula ndi kusanena kanthu ndi komwe! Munthu winayo mwina angathe kukhala osakonzekera lingaliro lalikulu lomwe muli nalo. Mwina angakhale kuti ndiosakonzeka kusintha. Mwina angakhale kuti sangathe kumvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna kulankhula. Kapena zingathe kukhala kuti mtima wanu sudafike pa malo oyenera kulankhula mawu omwe ali mmalingaliro anu. Atsogoleri otumikira amaonetsera nzeru pomwe akhala chete mu zokambirana.
Pomwe atsogoleri otumikira awonetsera kudziletsa, kutetezeka kwawo, ndi nzeru, amakulitsa kuchititsa kwawo ndi ena. Amazindikira kuti chidziwitso chimaonetseredwa kwambiri podziletsa kusiyana ndi kuchuluka kwa mawu. Utsogoleri wa chete umalankhula mofuula mu zokambirana! Atsogoleri otumikira amapita pamwamba potseka pakamwa!
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