Healthy leaders understand that their heart shapes everything they do. They pay attention to their emotions—not to be ruled by them, but to guide them in the right direction. Great leaders don’t suppress emotions; they shepherd them. Our heart can be guided in the right direction. Consider these scriptures:  

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me (John 14:1, NIV).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6–7).

Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path (Proverbs 23:19).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5–6)

These verses make it clear that we have a responsibility to guide our hearts and emotions. How can we guide the direction of our heart?

We guide our heart by refusing its wrong directions.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” He addressed their fear of the future and anxiety over His departure. But His words clearly indicate that we have the power and the responsibility to refuse to live with emotions that take us in the wrong direction.    

Some leaders learn to acknowledge their emotions but do not make any effort to change them. They might say to their team, “That’s just the way I feel and nothing is going to change it.” But serving leaders identify emotions that take their heart in the wrong direction and they refuse to dwell there. They say, “That’s the way I feel, but I’m not going to move in that direction!”

We guide our heart by replacing its wrong directions.

Jesus’ words to the disciples implied that the way to be set free from their troubled hearts was to focus on their belief in Him. Paul makes the same point clear when he talks about anxiety in Philippians. He recognizes that when our emotions lead us in the wrong direction it is not enough to refuse the wrong emotion, it must be replaced with another.  So, he instructs us to replace anxiety with prayer and thanksgiving. Focusing on prayer with thanksgiving will result in “the peace of God” replacing anxiety. It is difficult to be anxious and thankful at the same time!

Some leaders acknowledge that their emotion is not healthy, but don’t do the hard work of replacing it with a better one. But serving leaders ask God to help them find a replacement for that emotion. They are willing to spend time in prayer or giving thanks when they feel anxiety welling up within them.

We guide our heart by redirecting it in the right direction.

 How does this apply to our emotions and hearts? Not only are we invited to refuse to allow our emotions to go in the wrong direction and to replace specific emotions as Paul instructed, but the writer of Proverbs invites us to redirect our hearts on the right path. A path implies a direction that continues over time leading to a destination. Finding the right path happens as we learn to “trust in the Lord with all your heart…lean not on your own understanding…submit to him.” This is a lifelong process of learning to put our trust in the Lord and to submit to His ways. We learn to submit our hearts and emotions to Him, openly acknowledging what we feel but then submitting those feelings to Him and asking for His power to set our emotions on the right path.

Some leaders try to change their hearts on their own by sheer willpower or effort. They tell themselves, “I won’t get angry again!” But serving leaders acknowledge that without God’s help, their hearts will not follow the right path. They submit their emotions to Him and find the right path. They cry out, “God, I don’t want my heart to follow a path of anger, please redirect my emotions to your path.”

 Effective leaders pay attention to the condition of their hearts and take the journey towards emotional health. This allows them to lead others from a place of peace instead of anxiety.

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what ways has my leadership been led by my emotions? (If you are unsure, ask a trusted friend for their input.)
• Have I viewed my emotions as within my control or out of my control? How has this impacted my leadership?
• What emotions do I experience regularly that take me in the wrong direction? How aware am I of how these emotions impact my life and leadership? Who receives the greatest impact of these emotions?
• What replacements could I make for these emotions? Are there actions I could take that would help to replace these emotions with more helpful ones?   
• What is the general “path” of my emotional health, is it heading in the right direction or the wrong direction? How is this a reflection of my capacity to not lean on my own understanding, but submit to God?
• In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Deuteronomy 6:5-6; Psalm 37:4, 42:5, 51:10, 119:11; Proverbs 4:23, 23:17, 24:17; Ezekiel 36:26; Matthew 6:21; Colossians 3:15.     How do these verses deepen my understanding about how to guide my heart?     

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll begin a new series!

If you want a single document with all three issues of this series, click here.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

Leaders make mistakes and those they lead make mistakes! But there are many ways that leaders respond to the mistakes. Their response indicates their own level of security as a leader. The story of Joseph is a model of leadership in many ways. When Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, it was not only a mistake but a terrible wrong done to Joseph. His response to them after he revealed himself to them is remarkable.  

⁵ And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ⁶ For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. ⁷ But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance (Gen. 45:5-7, NIV).

The response of Joseph to his brothers indicates grace and forgiveness and the deep security he had as a leader. He models the way secure leaders view the mistakes of others.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they understand their role towards those they serve.

Joseph acknowledges the hand of God in his own life even through the mistakes of his brothers. He sees that “it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.” He was secure in understanding God’s plan for his own life and understood that the mistakes of others would not change who he was or what God wanted to do with his life. His role was given by God and was not for his own benefit, but to serve others.

Insecure leaders see mistakes of others as directly impacting their role and their value. When mistakes happen, they react based on how they perceive it will impact them. But secure leaders act out of the confidence they have in God’s control and realize that the mistakes of others do not raise or lower their call to lead.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they care about the emotions of those they serve.  

Joseph knew his brothers would struggle with feelings of guilt and be angry at themselves. So he tells them, “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here.” He was secure enough to think of how they felt, not simply about his own emotions. Joseph was emotionally healthy. He had worked through his own deep emotions and was now able to care for others.

Insecure leaders think only of their own emotions. When mistakes are made, they may react in anger, disgust, or contempt. They reflect on how the mistake of another impacts their own image. But secure leaders can focus on the emotions of the person who made the mistake and care about what they feel.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they want the best for those they serve.

“But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.”  Joseph was able to focus on his brothers and how their mistake would help provide for their own needs, not his own. He was in his position to serve others and meet their needs, not his own.  

Insecure leaders evaluate mistakes by how it will impact their own role or position.  But secure leaders are focused on what is best for those they serve and accept mistakes as an opportunity to serve. If the person who made a mistake needs encouragement, they encourage. If they need coaching, they provide it. If the person needs to experience a consequence for their mistake, they also provide that, but not from anger or a desire for revenge but out of a heart to serve. Secure leaders want the best for others.

For further reflection and discussion:  

• How have I led myself in regard to my own mistakes? Have I grown to the point that I accept my own mistakes as a part of my journey or do I expect perfection from myself? How does this impact my response when others make mistakes?
• When someone I lead makes a mistake, do I evaluate that based on how it impacts me, or how it impacts the person who made the mistake? What impact do the mistakes of others have on how I view myself and my role?
• When someone under my leadership makes a mistake, is my default response to focus on my own emotions or the emotions of the person who made the mistake? How does that impact my leadership?
• When someone I lead makes a mistake do I focus more in response on what I need or on what they need? How does this impact my leadership?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler In the next issue, we’ll look at how secure leaders develop others.

How secure are you in your leadership role? And how does your personal security as a leader impact your ability to serve others? In this series we’ll examine the differences between secure and insecure leaders and discover why secure leaders are serving leaders. Many persons in positions of leadership are insecure but Jesus modeled a very different way.

3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him (John 13:3-5, NIV).

Much has been written about Jesus’ actions here, washing the feet of His disciples with water and a towel, the work of a servant. But the verses that precede His actions reveal that His act of service flowed from three things He knew that gave Him security as a leader.  

Secure leaders know their authority.

 Jesus knew that all things were “under his power…” He was aware of the power and authority He carried with His disciples. Because He was secure in his authority, He could stoop to wash the feet of His disciples. His act of serving did not diminish His authority in any way. He had nothing to prove and nothing to hide.

Some leaders are afraid to serve others because they fear it would make them look less powerful. They believe that powerful leaders have others serving them. So, the more that they get others to serve them, the greater of a leader they believe they are. This is a low and distorted view of leadership! Serving leaders are secure and recognize, like Jesus, that they are in a position of authority to bring value to others and to serve them. Serving leaders use their authority for the sake of others, not themselves. This happens only when they are secure in the authority they have.

Secure leaders know their identity.

Jesus knew that His relationship with His Father was the source of His authority and that “he had come from God…” He was secure in who He was. His title or leadership role did not in any way change His identity. He could wash feet without changing who He was.

Insecure leaders by their actions or words ask others, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the chairman, the CEO, or the pastor!” They want to be seen and recognized as important people and they look to their leadership role as a validation of their identity. They get their identity from their title and cannot serve others because that would seem to lessen their status.

But secure serving leaders are not focused on who they are; they focus on who others are—and seek to build and strengthen those they lead. They don’t need to prove their identity; they are secure in who they are. Therefore they have no problem serving others.

Secure leaders know their destiny.

Jesus was aware that “he was returning to God.” He understood that His ultimate destiny was not tied to His leadership role. Therefore, serving others would not change His future.

Some leaders are afraid to serve others because they fear that if they give power away and build others up, there will be nothing left for them to do! They are afraid to serve because they are not confident of their own destiny.  

But serving leaders are confident about their destiny. They acknowledge that their leadership is not about them or what they will get out of it. They are in leadership to serve others and serve because it is the right thing to do, not because of what they might gain from their actions.

As a secure leader, Jesus served. Secure leaders are serving leaders.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How secure am I as a leader? What evidence of this do I see in my leadership?
• Do I use my leadership role to demonstrate my own power and authority? In what ways
• Are there ways that my identity is tied to my leadership role? What would happen to my perception of myself today if I lost my title or position?
• Do I ever fear that serving and empowering others may result in me not having anything useful to do? How does this impact my leadership?  

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issues we will look at the actions of secure leaders, first at how secure leaders encourage.

We have examined many ways in which servant leaders need to learn to be silent. But the most difficult time to remain silent is when we are personally attacked or accused of doing wrong. When this happens, our natural response is to defend ourselves, often loudly! Self-defense is often considered a universal human right. But when Jesus was on trial, He modeled a very different way.

⁵⁹The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death. ⁶⁰But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward. Finally two came forward ⁶¹and declared, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and rebuild it in three days.’”  ⁶²Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?” ⁶³But Jesus remained silent. The high priest said to him, “I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God”(Matthew 26:59-63). Jesus’ ability to remain silent in this situation is remarkable and has much to teach us about the power of silence in self-defense.

Silence in self-defense reveals humility. Jesus’ silence revealed a deep humility. The accusation they made against Him was a misrepresentation of what He had said in John 2:19. Surely Jesus would set the record straight! But He humbly remained silent, refusing to defend Himself.

Proud people argue their case, they defend themselves loudly. They cannot accept any accusation that makes them look bad whether they are right or not. But servant leaders demonstrate humility as they remain silent when wrongly accused.

Silence in self-defense reflects confidence. Jesus demonstrated remarkable confidence with His silence. He didn’t need to argue about His identity as the Messiah. He did not need to defend who He was. He knew who He was. His silence shouted that He had nothing to prove.

Silence in self-defense speaks more loudly than shouting and arguing. It reveals a deep confidence that I don’t need to prove I am right; I know I am right. Sometimes the strongest sound is silence. Servant leaders express confidence by keeping quiet when accused.

Silence in self-defense requires trust in God. The silence of Jesus while on trial shows that His trust was not in any human verdict that would condemn or release Him. He knew that only God would determine His destiny. Peter, only a few moments after Jesus’ silence, would vigorously defend himself (see Matthew 26:69-75). But years later as he recalled Jesus’ death said, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).Jesus’ silence influenced Peter who now challenges us to follow the example of Jesus.

Leaders who trust in themselves need to speak loudly and persuasively in self-defense. But leaders who trust in God’s judgment can quietly wait for His verdict. Servant leaders express trust in God when they remain silent in self-defense.

Is there ever a time to for a leader to speak up when accused? Jesus, right after this silence, was commanded by the high priest to speak. At that point He calmly spoke the truth about His identity. There are times when it is right to speak in defense of truth on our own behalf. But servant leaders only use this right after they have learned the painful discipline of silence. They cry out to God for wisdom to know when to speak and when to influence through silence.

Silent leadership speaks loudly in self-defense! Servant leaders move up by shutting up!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Am I humble enough to be quiet when wrongly accused? What is it within me that rises to defend myself?
• In what life situations have I kept quiet and simply trusted God to determine the outcomes? What was the result? If I have not done this, is there a current situation in which I should follow Jesus by keeping quiet?
• In what situations is it good for me to share a verbal defense of my actions? How do I know when it is the right time to talk and when to keep silent? What do I need to do before opening my mouth?
• Is there a difference between defending myself and defending others who are falsely accused? How do I determine the difference?

In the next series, we’ll look at choosing leaders God’s way.

Paul continues to challenge servant leaders to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).But will speaking truth in love accomplish the change we desire? Since Paul recognizes that we might be tempted to avoid speaking the truth because we can’t predict the outcome, he also tells us that love always hopes (1 Corinthians 13:7).So, servant leaders are called to speak the truth with hope. What does it mean to hope as we speak truth?

We normally use the word ‘hope’ to mean a wish, something we desire to be true. A servant leader may desire to speak the truth in hope that the listener will respond with change. But this is not what Paul meant when he said that love always hopes. In the Bible, hope has a much stronger meaning. Biblical hope is a confident belief in what God has promised. We hope in what is not yet seen. The source of hope is not our desire but in God’s faithfulness. In the last issue we looked at speaking truth with trust. The focus of trust is on the other person; the focus of hope is on God.

So, as servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope, their foundation is not in what they ‘hope’ will happen. Instead their hope is in God’s ability to take truth and accomplish His purposes both in their lives and in the lives of the listener. They may or may not see the outcome, but servant leaders are called to speak truth with hope based on God’s faithfulness.

Speaking the truth with hope requires balance.

Some leaders may face a situation that requires change but hesitate to speak the truth. They conclude that since their hope is in God, they will keep quiet and allow God to produce the change. Their hope is in God, but they are not speaking truth!

A balance is needed. Love requires that truth be spoken with hope in God, not the person involved. Servant leaders learn that their hope in God’s work is combined with their willingness to speak truth.

Speaking the truth with hope reveals maturity.

Young leaders may speak truth to someone who walks away with no visible change. When nothing happens, the immature leader may speak truth again, but a little louder. They believe more energy on their part will accomplish greater change for the listener! Finally, in disappointment, the leader concludes that it’s better not to keep speaking the truth.

But with maturity, servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope. This hope is not in the person, but in God’s ability to use truth to do His work. They have a deep confidence that what is spoken in love will ultimately accomplish God’s purposes even if they don’t see it visibly. Servant leaders also recognize that part of God’s purposes may be developing patience in them as they wait to see what they hope for!

Speaking the truth with hope reflects Jesus.

Jesus speaks truth with hope when the rich young ruler comes to him and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me” (Mark 10:21).

Jesus could have tried to make the truth less demanding, but He loved the man too much to ignore the truth. He knew that the young ruler might turn away, as he did after hearing Jesus’ words. But Jesus spoke truth with hope, believing that at any time God could turn this difficult situation around.

Immediately He told His disciples, all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27).We do not know if change ever occurred for this young ruler. But Jesus spoke truth with a deep hope in God’s ability to change the situation. And He teaches servant leaders to do the same!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak ‘truth’ with hope in God or in the person to whom I’m speaking? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with hope in God? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus showed His deep hope as He spoke the truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

¹Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. ²Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. ³How long will you assault me? Would all of you throw me down— this leaning wall, this tottering fence? ⁴Surely they intend to topple me from my lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse. ⁵Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. ⁶Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. ⁷My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. ⁸Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge (Psalm 62:1-8).

David writes these words from a place of peaceful rest. He mentions rest several times as well as calls God his “rock”, “fortress”, and “refuge.” What does he teach us about peace?

Peace should be recognized. David says, “Truly my soul finds rest in God.” He is at a place of peaceful rest. Peace is an emotion we can easily overlook because it does not have the intensity of many other emotions. We are more likely to recognize when we feel anxious or angry. There are no loud bells or whistles to alert us to this emotion, just a quiet sense that our soul is at rest. When we are experiencing peace, it may feel so comfortable that we don’t recognize it!

We may believe that the emotion of peace can be experienced only when all is well. But David makes it clear that he is experiencing peace during an assault from his enemies! David helps servant leaders learn to recognize that peace is possible even during difficult times.

Peace should be revealed. David reveals that he is at a place of peace and rest. He reveals this emotion to himself and to others. He speaks about the state of his soul as he says, “my soul finds rest in God.” He also speaks to his soul, “Yes, my soul, find rest in God…” He invites servant leaders to not only reveal emotion but to direct their emotion in the proper direction. Finally, he invites others to join him in this emotion, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” His call is an invitation to all servant leaders who lack peace. David invites us to focus on God as a refuge for whatever storm we may be encountering.

When peace is missing, it may indicate that we are focused on the storm swirling around us instead of the “rock” who provides peace in the storm. Servant leaders learn to reveal peace and know what to do when they find it missing.

Peace should be restrained. Many of the emotions we have looked at need wise restraint to minimize any negative impact. But peace is generally a very positive emotion. It seems that we should desire more peace, not less! Yes, peace is a great emotion and most leaders should seek more of it. But there are also ways it can hinder our leadership.

A leader may enjoy a sense of peace so much that he/she is not willing to make difficult decisions and move forward courageously. Leaders cannot be satisfied with the way things are; they desire to bring change. They should do this with a peaceful spirit, but with many other emotions involved to overcome the friction of movement. There may also be times when peace is the wrong emotion. In the face of injustice, anger may be a more appropriate emotion than peace! So, servant leaders learn, as with other emotions, that peace at times should be restrained.

May you experience peace, as well as the full range of other emotions that God created us to feel. And may your leadership reflect appropriate expressions of them all! Use the ‘feelings wheel’ below to remind you that feelings are an important part of our journey.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Would others describe me as a peaceful person?
• Have I learned to “speak” to my soul as David did? If not, stop and practice! Reflect on what emotions you feel in your soul, then speak words of correction to yourself.
• Do I tend to experience too little or too much peace? What does David teach me about how to correct that?
• At the end of this series on emotions, take some time to reflect with the following questions:
  • How have I grown in my awareness of how I am feeling?
  • How have I changed in my willingness to let others know my emotions?
  • How have these changes impacted my leadership?              

In the next issue, we’ll begin a series on speaking the truth in love!  

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019

Every leader has moments when the natural response is to take revenge and see someone else suffer. David certainly had these times in his life as he experienced opposition from many different places. Psalm 109 records one of these situations.  

¹My God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, ²for people who are wicked and deceitful have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. ³With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. ⁴In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. ⁵They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. ⁶Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy; let an accuser stand at his right hand.  When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. ⁸May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. ⁹May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. ¹⁰May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. ¹¹May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor…. ²⁷Let them know that it is your hand, that you, LORD, have done it. ²⁸While they curse, may you bless; may those who attack me be put to shame, but may your servant rejoice. ²⁹May my accusers be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak. ³⁰With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng of worshippers I will praise him. ³¹For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them (Psalm 109:1-11; 27-31).

Vengeance should be recognized. David recognizes what he is feeling. He wants revenge! He wants those who oppose him to suffer! Vengeance is a strong emotion that stirs up intense feelings.

Many leaders would prefer not to acknowledge these kinds of feelings since they seem so wrong. But servant leaders learn to recognize vengeance. They acknowledge that it is better to recognize vengeance than to pretend it does not exist.

Vengeance should be revealed. David recognizes his emotion and writes it down for all of us to see! (There is more revealed if you take time to read the entire chapter!) Although David is a “leader after God’s own heart,” he is secure enough to be honest with what he feels and to share this with everyone.

Many Christian leaders find this emotion difficult to reveal since it seems so negative and so unlike Christ. What will others think about me if I reveal what I am feeling? Yet, until vengeance is revealed it cannot be redeemed. Servant leaders learn to reveal vengeance knowing that as they do, God will be able to direct them to deal with it in an appropriate way.

Vengeance should be restrained. While David revealed his desire for vengeance on his enemies, he fortunately did not act on his feelings! Instead, he goes to worship with others. As he worships, David understands that it is God who will “save their lives from those who would condemn them.”

Servant leaders learn to restrain their vengeance. They don’t allow their leadership position to become a place to attack their enemies. They learn to join with others in worship and turn their desire for revenge over to God. He is the only one that can save us from those who condemn us as He also saves us from the poison of revenge in our own hearts.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• When is the last time I was hurt and really wanted revenge? What situation produced this emotion? Did I acknowledge and reveal my emotion or pretend it wasn’t there? Did I take it to God and ask Him to deliver me from the poison of revenge in my own heart?
• Reflect on Romans 12:17-21. What does it mean to “leave room for God’s wrath”? How can God change my heart so that I am able to bless my enemy? 
• Is it possible for our desire for vengeance to be in line with God’s judgement of wickedness? How do we know when our hearts and His are aligned?       

Every leader deals with questions like these about the future. These questions can easily lead to anxiety—a feeling of worry or nervousness about an imagined threat or future event.* In this issue, we’ll examine how David experienced the emotion of anxiety and what we can learn as servant leaders from his life.

¹⁶Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers? ¹⁷Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. ¹⁸When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. ¹⁹When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. ²⁰Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—a throne that brings on misery by its decrees? ²¹The wicked band together against the righteous and condemn the innocent to death. ²²But the LORD has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge. ²³He will repay them for their sins and destroy them for their wickedness; the LORD our God will destroy them. (Psalm 94:16-23)

Anxiety should be recognized. David has many questions as he wrestles with God in this psalm. He questions whether there will be justice for those who oppose him. These questions troubled him to the extent that he felt that his “foot is slipping,” and could lead him to the “silence of death.” In the middle of his questions he recognizes that he has anxiety in his heart.

Anxiety is usually seen as a negative emotion, so it is more difficult for leaders to acknowledge. David might have paused to ask himself, “What am I feeling?” At least he recognized his emotion of anxiety.

Many leaders don’t stop to recognize what they are feeling and may not even be aware of the anxiety in their souls. But servant leaders learn to recognize anxiety and be honest about what they are feeling.

Anxiety should be revealed. David recognizes his anxiety and brings it to the surface. Because anxiety is not a healthy or positive emotion, many leaders try to ignore it, to pretend that it’s not there or to call it by another name! But David is honest enough to admit that he has a “great” amount of anxiety!

We can learn from David that anxiety thrives in secrecy but can be dealt with when it is revealed. Servant leaders learn to reveal their anxiety. They find a trusted friend or counselor with whom they can be completely honest. They are not afraid to say, “I’m filled with anxiety about….” Sometimes the honest confession is enough to break the grip of anxiety in the life of the leader.

Anxiety should be restrained. All leaders look towards the future and can be immobilized by anxiety and unanswered questions. But David’s response to his anxiety shows us that this emotion does not need to control our leadership. As he revealed his anxiety, he quickly came to a place of hope. God’s “consolation” brought him joy to replace the anxiety. In the final verses of this chapter, he acknowledges that God is his “fortress” and the One who will take care of his future.

David teaches us to focus on the One who controls the future, instead of the lies our enemy wants us to believe. Servant leaders learn to restrain their anxiety as they trust God for their future and then lead others with courage.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What situations in my own life bring me the greatest temptation to be anxious? 
• How aware am I that I feel anxious? Am I able to quickly recognize this emotion?
• Are there fears that keep me from revealing to others that I am anxious about the future? What does this say about what is happening in my soul?
• What is at the root of my anxiety? What lies am I believing about myself, this situation, or about God?
• In what way does my anxiety represent a lack of trust in God?
• Reflect on 1 Peter 5:7. What does this verse teach me about my anxiety?

*We have already examined how David responded to fear which relates to a known danger or event. Anxiety differs from fear as it focuses on a future imagined event.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018. 

¹ Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; ² hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught ³ because of what my enemy is saying, because of the threats of the wicked; for they bring down suffering on me and assail me in their anger. ⁴ My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. ⁵ Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me… ²² Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. ²³ But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you (Psalm 55:1-5, 22-23).

David faced his fear and learned to overcome this powerful emotion and he guides servant leaders on their own journeys with fear.

Fear should be recognized. David recognizes his emotion. “Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.” David’s enemies are speaking against him and making threats. The natural response is to be afraid and David recognizes this fear which was overwhelming to him.

Leaders often believe the lie that strong people should not experience fear. So, they find it very difficult to identify the emotion of fear and may call it anger, worry or something else. But servant leaders learn to recognize fear and are not ashamed to admit, “I am afraid.” They know that they won’t correctly respond to fear until they can name it.

Fear should be revealed. As David recognizes his fear he reveals it to God. ^“As for me, I call to God, and the LORD saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” David revealed his fear to God three times a day!

When servant leaders recognize their fear and reveal it, they can begin to process it more thoughtfully as David did. They can examine the fear to determine if it is a rational fear that will keep them from danger or they may find that it is an irrational fear that is crippling and harmful based on false or incomplete information.

Servant leaders learn to reveal fear, but they are careful to reveal it to the right persons. Certainly, as David did, it is appropriate to reveal the fear to God, not because He is unaware, but because we need to acknowledge it! But it is often helpful as well to reveal our fear to someone else. Servant leaders look for others who will help them deal correctly with their fear. They avoid revealing it to those who will only increase the fear.

Fear should be restrained. David shows leaders that fear does not need to control our leadership. He concludes this Psalm with hope. “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you… But as for me, I trust in you.” David learns to bring his fears to God and to learn to trust instead of fear.

Fear can cripple a leader and make it difficult to move forward. The fear may be real when a serious threat is experienced. Or it may be an imagined fear of what others will think that keeps a leader from making a difficult decision. David teaches servant leaders that the solution to fear is trust! He chooses to focus on God during his fear and this frees him to trust in God. David realizes that God may not literally remove all the things he fears, but God will not let him be shaken.

Servant leaders learn to restrain their fear. They say to themselves and those they lead, “Our fear is with us, but our God is bigger than our fears.” Servant leaders turn fear into trust and lead on!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What do I fear most often? Is my fear a rational fear to keep me safe or is it irrational? If irrational, what is the reality?
• When I am afraid, am I able to reveal this appropriately to others or do I try to hide it? Who is or could be a helpful person to whom I can reveal my fear?
• How significantly is my leadership shaped by fear? Am I able to openly admit my fear as David did? Do I regularly choose to turn my fear into trust? How do I communicate this to others?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

 ⁹ Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. ¹⁰ My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. ¹¹ Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors and an object of dread to my closest friends— those who see me on the street flee from me. ¹² I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. ¹³ For I hear many whispering, “Terror on every side!” They conspire against me and plot to take my life. ¹⁴ But I trust in you, LORD; I say, “You are my God.” ¹⁵ My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me. ¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. (Psalm 31:9-16)

Servant leaders learn from David how to lead with sorrow!

Sorrow should be recognized. The emotion of sadness or sorrow is one which we often view as a negative emotion. So many leaders try to ignore their sorrow and find it difficult to say, “I feel sad.” Instead they may choose to speak a “positive confession” to convince themselves and others that they are happy.

But David made no attempt to ignore his emotion: “My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” He recognizes exactly where he is emotionally. He recognizes that this emotion impacts his body, specifically his eyes, soul, body and bones. He is not deciding if his sorrow is right or wrong, he simply acknowledges what he is feeling in the moment.

Servant leaders learn to recognize their sorrow. They refuse to pretend that they are not sad. They pay attention to what is happening to their physical body in response to this emotion.  

Sorrow should be revealed. David doesn’t try to keep his sorrow hidden. He summarizes his situation, “I am in distress.” He continues his conversation with God, revealing deep emotion.

Even when sorrow is recognized, many leaders try to keep it hidden. For some, this comes from a desire to be seen as a ‘strong’ or ‘positive’ leader. They believe the lie that real leaders are always positive and victorious. Perhaps their culture does not allow “real men” to be sad or to shed tears.

But servant leaders learn that sadness is a part of being a real human. They find appropriate ways to express their sorrow. They might verbally admit that they are filled with sorrow in a certain situation. Or, as David did here, they might write a psalm of lament to God to reveal their feelings. Servant leaders do not need to apologize when a tear rolls down their cheek. They serve others by revealing their humanity.

Sorrow should be restrained. David recognized and revealed his sorrow but then he turns back to God. “But I trust in you, LORD; I say, ‘You are my God.’” He asks God to help him change the situation with his enemies.

David recognizes that he is still a leader in the midst of his sorrow and that his sorrow will not last forever. He wrote in the previous chapter, “…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). So, he was able to lead in the midst of sorrow, but would not allow sorrow to control his leadership.

Servant leaders learn to restrain their sorrow. They cry out to God with their pain and then choose to focus on Him instead of their sorrow.  They lead on in the midst of sorrow.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What does my culture teach me about expressing sorrow or sadness? How have I allowed that to influence my leadership?
• How can I balance the need to be a positive and optimistic leader with the need to be honest with my emotions?
• Read Genesis 33:4; 43:30; Ezra 3:12; 10:1; Nehemiah 1:4; Jeremiah 9:1; Luke 22:62; John 11:35; Acts 20:37; and Revelation 5:4. What do these passages teach me about leadership and tears?
• In what ways can I appropriately express my emotion of sorrow? Are there ways of expressing this emotion which would not be appropriate?
• How do I need to restrain my sorrow so that it does not control my leadership?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.