The next instruction Paul gives young Timothy about the type of leaders who are worthy to be called servant leaders is "hospitable" (1 Timothy 3:2). To be hospitable is to be friendly and welcoming to strangers or guests. What in the world does what happens at home have to do with leadership? Paul recognizes that hospitality reveals at least three things in the heart of a leader, each of which is essential for servant leaders.

Hospitality displays a willingness to be transparent.

Inviting someone to your home is a risky act of vulnerability! The moment you open your door to a guest and invite them into your home, they learn to know you on a much deeper level than they ever will in public. They will observe the way that you interact with your wife and children. They will notice what books and magazines you read. They will get a sense of your values as they interact with you at home. If you are not willing to be transparent, limit your leadership to the office or public arena! It's much easier to hide who you really are in public than at home.

Hospitality demonstrates a heart of service.

Hospitality is a lot of work! Even if it is only a simple meal, hospitality involves preparation, cleaning, washing dishes, and then focusing on the needs and desires of the visitors. If your visitors stay in your home overnight or for a longer period of time, hospitality may involve moving children around to make room for the visitors, preparing beds, changing your morning schedule and cleaning after they leave. If you don't have the heart of a servant, don't bring people home! It's much easier to meet them in a restaurant or café and have a meal together.

Hospitality discloses a spirit of generosity.

Hospitality is costly. It will cost you the time that it takes to prepare, entertain, and serve. It will also cost money, likely spending more for food to prepare a special meal or at least sharing what you have. Generosity is not so much a matter of how much you possess but how much you are willing to release. Some of the most generous people I know have very little materially, but are rich in generosity and they express it by sharing freely what they have. If you're not willing to share, don't invite people to your home! It's much easier to keep than to give.

A biblical example of a servant leader who demonstrated hospitality is the account of Simon, the Tanner. Luke records the story of how this worker in a despised vocation hosted the apostle Peter in his home for "many days" (Acts 9:43). We have no idea how many meals were served to Peter during this time, but we do know that he not only enjoyed the bedroom and the kitchen of Simon the Tanner, but he also had access to the roof where he went to pray. What is more, one day three total strangers showed up and Peter, himself a guest, invited them in for the night! Another meal and three more beds! (How would you respond to that kind of a guest?) We know nothing else of Simon's faith, leadership, or academic credentials. But when he opened his door to Peter, God opened the door of faith to the Gentile world! Simon passed the quality checklist for a servant leader because of his hospitality. Peter was likely remembering him when he wrote later, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). How do you rate in this hidden area of leadership? Take some time to reflect on the questions below….and invite someone to your home today!

For further reflection and discussion:

• When is the last time you invited someone to your home for a meal? To spend the night? Do you find hospitality easy or difficult?
• What is the hardest for you in relation to hospitality: transparency, service or generosity? Spend a moment asking God to reveal to you what He wants to change in this area.
• How does your culture encourage or discourage hospitality? What can you do as a follower of Jesus to cultivate His culture in your home?
• Reflect on Hebrews 13:2. How is God inviting you to respond in obedience?

Gossip, the third of the “big three” sins of the tongue, is perhaps the most damaging. Gossip is simply saying things about others that should not be said. Gossip focuses on sensational or private information. It is often untrue, but at times may actually be correct information. However, gossip never meets the biblical standard to speak “only what is helpful for building others up” (Eph. 4:29).

Servant leaders should do all within their power to remove this plague from their own lives and the group they lead. Specifically, they do three things to deal with gossip.

Servant leaders recognize the results of gossip.

Gossip has disastrous results. It has destroyed countless friendships, split churches, damaged work environments, initiated quarrels and ruined reputations. Proverbs 16:28 states, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” Servant leaders recognize that the health of relationships within their organization is a reflection of the health of their organization. They see gossip as a deadly cancer that eats their group from the inside. They recognize that the deadly results of gossip warrant their careful attention.

Servant leaders identify the causes of gossip.

Because of the devastating results of gossip, servant leaders think carefully about why they and others are tempted to gossip. Although gossip is deadly, it feels good. Prov. 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels: they go down to a man's inmost parts.” Gossip makes people feel superior to others and may reveal personal insecurity. When I gossip about another person, I feel superior to that person. Gossip often reflects minds which are so small that they are not thinking about things bigger than stories of other people. Servant leaders recognize these various causes of gossip.

Servant leaders train followers to avoid gossip.

Servant leaders recognize that it is their responsibility to influence their group in this area. They model the way by guarding their own tongue against gossip and asking for forgiveness if they fail. They work hard to create an environment of truth and transparency in the organization which discourages gossip. They also help their followers to eliminate this sin. When gossip is present in the group the servant leader quickly acts to stop the spread of the deadly poison. Servant leaders are on guard against the warning signs that gossip is coming. Gossip often follows these three opening lines: “Do you know…?” “Have you heard…?” and “Someone told me….” Effective leaders discourage their group from using these opportunities to gossip or listen to gossip. When they hear someone using these lines, they quickly ask the person to confirm the report, repeat it in the presence of the person being mentioned, or request them not to repeat the matter. Servant leaders call followers to a higher standard and share vision that lifts their eyes to higher callings (See Philippians 4:8 and 1 Timothy 5:13). Their vision inspires action that reduces idle time where gossip flourishes. When necessary servant leaders take appropriate disciplinary steps to keep gossip from taking root under their leadership.

Gossip is so common that many accept it as a part of life. Servant leaders recognize that God’s standard is higher and lead the way in confronting this sin. My prayer is that He will give you wisdom to identify and reduce the gossip in your sphere of influence.

For further reflection and discussion:

• To what extent are you aware of your own tendency to gossip? Reflect on this before asking your spouse or trusted friend for their perspective.
• How much is gossip impacting the group you lead? Do others on your leadership team agree with your assessment? What factors contribute to this? (If your group has little gossip identify what has been done to discourage this behavior. If your group has much, discuss why.)
• Are there steps you should take as a leader after prayer and reflection to show servant leadership in the area of gossip? Share your plan with a trusted friend and agree together when you will take the step(s).

For more reflection consider the following verses: Proverbs 10:18, 16:28, 18:8, 20:19, 26:20; Philippians 4:8; Titus 3:1,2; I Tim. 5:13.

Moses is a great example of a servant leader, but he wasn’t perfect! Numbers 20 records the story of the sin that would keep Moses out of the Promised Land. The people are thirsty and blame Moses again. Moses cries out to God for direction and God instructs him to speak to the rock and promises that water would come out. Instead Moses spoke to the people in anger, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring water out of this rock?” Then he struck the rock twice and water came out. God immediately told him and Aaron that because of their sin they would not enter the land of promise. In a moment of anger, forty years of faithful leadership seems to disappear! Still, we can learn lessons from his failure. What he did not do goes against every natural response and serves as an example to all of us of how servant leaders deal with sin.

Moses did not blame the people.

The most natural response when I sin is to find someone else to blame! Certainly Moses had some legitimate reasons to blame the people, and all of us can sympathize with the way he called them rebels! They had again opposed his leadership and quarreled with him and Aaron. Most of us would have lost our temper and promptly blamed the people. But Moses recognized that the pressure of the moment simply revealed the sin in his heart. Servant leaders continually cry out to God for Him to deal with their hearts and refuse to blame family members, co-workers, associates, or followers for what they do in times of pressure.

Moses did not blame God.

Moses had just mourned the death of his sister Miriam and after this experience at the rock very quickly said farewell to his closest associate, Aaron. It was a rough month to lead, and I would find it easy to accuse God of overreacting! Moses could have argued that he had been blameless for years and surely one mistake wasn’t as serious as God judged it. But again, Moses demonstrates his brokenness and humility as he does not blame God for his judgment. I don’t find any record of Moses pleading with God to reverse His judgment; instead he humbly accepts what has happened. Moses, like all servant leaders, recognized that God was more interested in the condition of his heart than about saving his leadership credentials.

Moses did not cover up his sin.

When I sin, I quickly move to minimize the damage and ensure that as few as possible know about it. But Moses wrote the story just as it happened and we are still reading about it thousands of years later! His sin in this case was public as leaders sins’ often are. But there are other times when leaders’ sin is private and unknown to those they lead. One temptation all leaders face is to pretend in public to be better than we actually are in private. Servant leaders appropriately acknowledge both their sin and God’s gracious forgiveness.

Moses did not stop leading.

The final months of Moses leadership must have been incredibly difficult. Why not just step down? Yes, there are times when leaders sin and need to step down from their position. But most of the time God simply asks us to continue leading. Our enemy whispers that we are not worthy to continue, but God’s grace gives us strength to continue. Servant leaders who deal with their sin like Moses drink more deeply from God’s grace and more freely extend it to those they lead.

What a difference it would make in our world if we were leaders with a servant heart who respond to sin as Moses did. Can we respond without defensiveness and blame, allowing God to expose and purify our hearts, then continuing to serve those we lead with an even greater sense of God’s grace as long as He allows us to guide them?

The background reading for this issue is: Numbers 20; 27:12-17; Dt. 31:1-2; 32:48-52

For further reflection and discussion:

• What typically happens to me when I am under intense pressure in my leadership? Do I get angry, abusive, withdrawn, or bitter? What does this reveal about my heart?
• The last time I sinned, who was I tempted to blame?
• Are there times I have blamed God for my sin? What has been the result and what needs to change?
• How do I try to cover my sin? What has been the result of this? What is the right balance between being open about my sin and wisely not disclosing too many details to others? How does David’s observation in Ps. 32:5 provide instruction to all leaders about dealing with sin?
• Are there secret sins in my life that have the potential to sabotage my leadership? What is God calling me to do about them? (Reflect on 1 Timothy 5:24 and 1 Corinthians 10:12)

Moses’ first recorded leadership act was a disaster! One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. (Exodus 2:11-12)

Perhaps Moses already knew that God had called him to rescue His people. At least his heart motive was to bring change, to set right the injustice he saw and to see an end to the suffering of his people. He thought his people would recognize his call to lead but they didn’t. His action was decisive but he chose the wrong time and method. The result was that he had to flee for his life and spend 40 years in the desert before he was ready to try again. There are at least three ways that Moses’ first attempts at leadership were not acts of a servant leader.

Moses acted independently.

At this point in his life, Moses was ready to be the hero that single handedly rescued his people. He had not yet learned the value of a team or what it means to work under authority. Moses must have imagined that it was going to be his effort and ability that would accomplish the task. But servant leadership is about working with and through people, not being a solitary hero. Servant leaders learn that leadership is not about them, their vision and their ability as much as it is about learning to hear what God wants and moving people in that direction. Servant leaders are called to act, but they are not called to act independently of God’s direction and the counsel of a wise team.

Moses acted impulsively.

Moses saw the situation, made a decision to get involved and killed the Egyptian in what appears to be a very short time. Leaders are oriented towards action; they want change and often want it now! But impulsive acts are often more destructive than helpful. Servant leaders are not only looking for action, but seeking the right action. They are willing to seek counsel and pray for wisdom before acting. They exhibit self-control, a fruit of the Spirit. They are action oriented but not impulsive.

Moses acted secretly.

Before he killed the Egyptian Moses looked around to ensure that no one was looking. Afterward, he used sand to cover what he had done. He knew it was wrong! Of course, he could rationalize it because of his good motives but when your leadership act needs to be followed by a cover-up, reconsider! Servant leaders walk in openness and transparency. They are not making deals under the table or in dark corners. The goal for servant leaders is never to do anything that they would be ashamed to find on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper.

Moses tried hard, but he wasn’t yet ready for the challenge of servant leadership. God would need to take him to the desert for the next level of leadership development and in our next issue we’ll examine that time. But thank God that Moses’ failed first attempts at leadership did not keep God from using him. Likewise, our first attempts at leadership do not need to be our final ones! God is merciful and still had a plan to use Moses and to continue shaping our leadership as well.

The background reading for this issue is: Exodus 2:11-15 and Acts 7:22-29.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Are there areas in my leadership in which I am acting independently of others? Independently of God?
• When in my leadership have I acted impulsively? What was the result and what can I learn from that mistake?
• To what extent is my leadership characterized by self-control? How can I allow God’s Spirit to develop more self-control in my life? (See Galatians 5:22-23)
• Have I made any decisions or taken any actions in the past week that I don’t want others to know about? Is there anything I am currently doing which would bring shame to the cause of Christ if it were publicized in tomorrow’s newspaper?

Getting trust is an issue every leader needs to work at but it’s only the beginning of the journey. Servant leaders do the following to keep the trust of those they lead.

Accept the challenge of keeping trust.

Servant leaders recognize that being consistent enough over time to keep trust is not an easy task for any leader. They realize that the level of trust with followers is always in a state of motion, either increasing or decreasing. A sudden mistake is sometimes all that is needed to destroy years of building trust. Recent failures in the church and corporate world reflect how quickly trust can be lost. Servant leaders accept this challenge and ask for God’s help to consistently be trustworthy. They recognize that the results are worth the effort.

Take responsibility for the level of trust.

Who is responsible for the level of trust between you and your followers? Only you! If you have served for an extended time in your current position, the level of trust is directly a result of your leadership. If you have recently taken a position, past experiences shape people’s trust level but you are now the person to lead the group forward. Taking responsibility for the current level of trust does not make you guilty of the past, but means you take ownership of the present. Take responsibility for understanding the context of your leadership. What kind of leadership is expected and how is trust earned or granted by the followers in your setting? What is the history of the group you lead in regard to trust and how does that impact how you need to lead?

Commit to build a culture of trust.

Servant leaders aim for more than just personal integrity and consistency. They use their influence to build an environment of trust with those they serve. What would it look like if your entire church or organization was trustworthy? Servant leaders build a culture of trust by modeling trustworthiness and by modeling trust in others.

Model trustworthiness by focusing on living a consistent life of integrity. After leaders gain trust with followers there is a temptation to begin taking leadership shortcuts, assuming they have earned the right to be trusted. For example, instead of going through the process of engaging key leaders in a crucial decision, a leader who has earned trust might simply announce the plan assuming that people will follow. Ask yourself, can your followers have absolute confidence that what you say is always true? Have you appropriately admitted mistakes you have made to them? Do you consciously seek ways to open your heart to others? Would your followers describe you as a transparent leader?

Model trust in others by expressing your confidence in them. Verbally say, “I trust you” and release followers to do their jobs. Appropriate accountability is still needed, but demonstrate that you trust others. Trusting them does not mean that you expect perfection; they will make mistakes just like you do. But servant leaders not only seek to be trustworthy but consciously give the gift of trust to those they lead.

To think about: Does my leadership increasingly inspire people to trust me?

In the next issue we’ll examine the question of how a servant leader restores trust after it is lost.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I realize how difficult it is to maintain trust over a long period of time with those I am leading? Am I seeking God’s strength to be consistent?
• Are there things in the history of those I lead that make it easier or more difficult for them to trust my leadership? How should I adjust my leadership to reflect these realities?
• After establishing trust, in what ways am I tempted to take leadership ‘shortcuts’?
• In what ways do I model trust in those who follow me? Have I told anyone lately, “I trust you”?