Self-care is not selfish, it’s essential for healthy leadership.  But what does it look like in practice? We’ll examine three specific areas in which we need to care for ourselves: our souls, our bodies and our gift. First, in this issue, how we take care of our inner life, our relationship with Jesus—the matters of our soul. Consider Paul’s instruction to Timothy:

  ⁷Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. ⁸For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come (1 Timothy 4:7–8, NIV).

Paul challenges Timothy to train himself to “be godly.”  This training has great value both now and in the future. Physical training, which we will examine in the next issue, has value but is not as significant as issues of the soul. Paul’s instruction provides several starting points for the kind of training that will help us care for our soul.

Taking care of your soul requires avoiding distractions.

Paul begins his exhortation to godliness by telling Timothy to avoid “godless myths and old wives’ tales.” It is easy to dismiss Paul’s instruction as advice for a different generation. He is specifically warning Timothy about spiritually unprofitable teaching, but the principle applies more broadly: some things consume our attention but do not nourish our souls. Perhaps if he were writing today he might say, “Have nothing to do with endless scrolling on social media, political debates on Facebook, and schedules packed with activity—but train yourself to be godly.” Soul care requires saying ‘no’ to some things that others may practice habitually. This kind of saying “no” is at the heart of the spiritual discipline of fasting which addresses our need to say ‘no’ to things we crave in order to focus more fully on the our soul’s craving for God. 

Some leaders measure their health by outputs: how much they produce and how full their schedule is. But serving leaders feed their souls by avoiding distractions.

 Taking care of your soul requires intentionality.

Paul tells Timothy, “train yourself.” He calls Timothy to actively focus on the care of his soul. The care of our souls requires intentionality; it will not happen simply because we keep living and leading. For centuries, spiritual disciplines have helped leaders take the time and energy needed to care for their souls. Disciplines such as meditation, prayer, fasting, Bible reading and solitude are a part of the training needed for godliness. Intentionality may require a long walk, blocking out time to be alone for reflection and listening or simply slowing down.  

Some leaders assume that if they are leading and goals are being met, all is well in their inner world. But serving leaders make their goal to walk with Jesus and cultivate a healthy soul. They intentionally structure their lives in ways that tend the garden of their heart. 

Taking care of your soul requires consistency.

The training Paul instructed Timothy to do is not a one time event. Building a life of godliness is a long-term objective, not a short-term accomplishment. Paul tells Timothy that godliness impacts both “the present life and the life to come.” It requires consistency over a long period of time. 

Some leaders are content to think of being godly in the future and neglect the daily habits that will take them there. They hope that an occasional seminar or book on prayer will take care of their soul and develop godliness. But serving leaders build regular rhythms of life that over time nourish and strengthen their souls. As they do, they become leaders better equipped to serve those they lead.

For further reflection and discussion:

What are things in my daily life that are distractions to my soul care? What is God inviting me to change so that I can avoid these distractions?

How well am I doing with these disciplines: fasting, Bible reading, meditation, prayer, solitude? What do I need to change?

What habits do I cultivate in my life that help me care for my soul? What are my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly rhythms that help me keep my soul strong? Are there changes I need to make?

What additional insights about the need for soul care do I gain from the following passages? (1 Samuel 30:6; Matthew 14:13, 23; Mark 1:35-38, 4:19; Luke 5:15-16; John 15:1-5; Acts 13:2-3; 1 Timothy 4:12-16, 6:11-12, 20; 2 Timothy 2:15-16)

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine care of our bodies.

Leadership challenges quickly show us how much we need wisdom—more than knowledge alone, we need the ability to act correctly in difficult moments. This is the essence of wisdom: applying what we know and experience to make sound judgments and decisions. Knowledge relates to what we know; wisdom relates to how we should act.

In this series, we’ll explore how Joshua, one of the Bible’s great leaders, found, gained, and exercised wisdom in leading God’s people.  In this first reflection, we’ll look at how Joshua found wisdom. Early in his leadership, scripture tells us that he was filled with wisdom— making his life and leadership a powerful case study on wisdom.

“Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him. So the Israelites listened to him and did what the Lord had commanded Moses.” (Deuteronomy 34:9, NIV)

What can we learn from Joshua about how he found wisdom? 

Joshua found wisdom by spending time with God.

The text above indicates that Joshua was filled with wisdom because Moses laid hands on him. While this had a spiritual element, we also know that Joshua spent much time in God’s presence before this. While Moses would speak to God and then return to the people, Joshua stayed at the tent (see Exodus 33:11). Here Joshua learned what Solomon would write about over 300 years later, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 9:10). In this tent, Joshua was in the background, developing the heart of a leader that served others. Here he learned to value God’s presence more than a position or the applause of people. This private shaping prepared him for public service.

Some leaders look for wisdom in the latest book on leadership or at the conference that promises answers to leadership challenges. While these are good in themselves, serving leaders first find wisdom in time alone with God. They seek wisdom not in position but from presence. Serving leaders who want to grow in wisdom don’t skip the time in the tent!

Joshua found wisdom by observing a wise leader.

Moses laid hands on Joshua only after 40 years of Joshua observing how Moses led. Joshua saw how Moses met with God, how he responded to troublemakers and slanderous attacks. Joshua led the people to battle with the Amalekites but learned that it was the prayers of Moses on the mountain that determined the outcome.   

Some leaders expect to find wisdom on their own, believing that they have what it takes to become wise. But serving leaders observe older, wiser leaders and learn wisdom from them.

Joshua found wisdom by being commissioned.    

Moses commissioned Joshua to be the next leader by laying his hands on Joshua. This transfer of authority and power included the gift of wisdom that Moses possessed. It also indicated that Joshua would lead under authority.  

Some leaders commission themselves and seek authority on their own merits. But serving leaders operate under appropriate authority that blesses them to grow in wisdom. They learn wisdom by being under authority before being in authority.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I have a time in my day that I ‘unplug’ from my leadership role, turn off the news, social media and messages and spend time in the ‘tent’ with God? How does this impact my leadership?
• In what ways have I learned wisdom by observing other leaders? Am I intentionally reflecting on how and what I learn from them? Where possible, have I thanked them for the way their wisdom has helped me as a leader?
• Under whose authority do I lead? How does this help me grow in wisdom? Are there ways I can strengthen this relationship for greater impact?   
• In addition to these reflections from Joshua’s life, consider the following verses that relate to finding wisdom: (Proverbs 1:7, 2:3-6, 3:5-7, 4:7, 9:10, 21:11; Luke 2:52; James 1:5; Ephesians 1:17; Colossians 1:9, 2:2-3)       

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how Joshua gained wisdom through failure.  

Servant leaders learn that leadership is not always about talking. They acknowledge that, at times, what is done in silence may have more impact than what is done in public speaking! They embrace the call of the writer of Lamentations to spend some time in silent reflection:

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust—there may yet be hope (Lamentations 3:26-29).

This advice was written to a people mourning the destruction of Jerusalem, their capital city. During that crisis comes this call to wait quietly, sitting in silence. This passage doesn’t appear to be material for an article on leadership! But it contains nuggets of truth for every servant leader willing to slow down enough to listen. Silent reflection can shape the everyday life of the servant leader in several ways.

Silent reflection encourages waiting. “It is good to wait quietly…” Leaders are people of action, goals and achievements. They want progress! Their “to do” list calls loudly for action and waiting quietly is not usually on the list!

But waiting, in silent reflection, “is good” and brings many benefits. Time in silence calms the soul. It provides perspective. It reminds the leader that God is in control, not themselves. Waiting in silence slows a leader down and ironically prepares him/her for action. Many leaders, including myself, find great benefit in a daily discipline of spending a few minutes in silence and stillness before the activities of the day. Servant leaders prepare for action by waiting in silent reflection.

Silent reflection encourages solitude. “Let him sit alone in silence…” Leadership almost always happens with others. Leaders want to be with and work through others. Many leaders find it very uncomfortable to be alone. Solitude brings to the surface questions which the leader may not want to face. Silence in solitude with no activity or titles to cover the inner turmoil can make a leader feel naked and exposed. Questions of motives, purpose and direction are raised in solitude. Reflection in solitude helps a leader acknowledge his/her own emotions, pain, and struggles. Solitude raises hard questions that we often want to escape through noise and accomplishments.

This scripture encourages leaders not to run from solitude but to embrace it as a gift. Solitude is a gift that prepares the heart for relationship with others. Leaders who have not learned to be alone in solitude become noisy, dangerous leaders who cover their own insecurities with their leadership role. Servant leaders prepare to engage with others by spending time alone. 

Silent reflection encourages pondering. “Let him bury his face in the dust…” What a strange request! No one likes dust; we try as much as possible to avoid it and get away from it. But God invites us to take some time to “bury” ourselves in the painful dust. As we stop in silent reflection, we see the problem of the dust. We feel the pain. We reflect. We ponder the hard questions of life.

Leaders often seek solutions to the pain of others and search for ways to alleviate suffering or injustice. This passage encourages us to first take time in silence with our face in the dust before moving into action. Servant leaders prepare to meet the needs of those who hurt by first silently pondering their pain.  

Silent reflection is hard work! It will not happen by default especially in this digital age. But silent leadership speaks loudly in quiet reflection. Servant leaders move up by shutting up!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Reflect on the Psalmist’s words, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10). Why do we need to be still to know that He is God? What happens to our perception of ourselves and our perception of God when we are quiet? What does it say about me if I find it difficult to be still?
• Do I reflect quietly at all? Enough? What regular rhythms of reflection do I need daily, weekly, periodically? What keeps me from silent reflection? How did this impact my leadership?
• When was the last time I was alone with myself and no distractions of phones, email, or media? What does this reveal about my lifestyle? In what way should I change?
• What happens to me internally when I am all alone? What does this reveal about who I am?
• Do I have a way to record and remember my thoughts, reflections and insights from time alone? If not, should I keep a journal of this time?
• Is there a danger that I spend too much time in silent reflection and move too slowly to act? If so, what do I need to do to balance reflection and action?

 In the next issue, we’ll look at the sound of silent leadership…in prayer.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2020.

In the past two issues we looked at Jesus as an example of a leader who led from a position of intimacy and Martha as an example of one who led towards intimacy. Jesus was able to wash feet freely; Martha couldn’t even wash the dishes without complaining! How can we, as servant leaders, learn to lead from a position of intimacy? Three steps will help each of us on this journey.

Identify hindrances to intimacy.

The first step is to identify things in my own life which keeps me from living and leading from a position of intimacy. Ask some hard questions: Why do I so desperately crave the approval of people? Why do I feel compelled to work so hard? Why is it hard for me to accept criticism? It may take time before the hindrances are obvious. Some common hindrances include pride, pain of rejection we have experienced, a wrong view of God or lies which we accept as truth. Pride often keeps us from accepting God’s love for us. It may seem honorable, but at the root is a focus on self and my own unworthiness. Rejection from others often leaves us feeling deeply wounded and we build emotional walls around the hurt to make sure it doesn’t happen again. This makes it hard for us to believe that God does not reject us. If we view God as a spiritual policeman it will be hard to believe that He longs for a close relationship with us.

Find healing and truth for lies.

Many of the things which keep us from true intimacy with Jesus have roots in lies that we believe about ourselves, God or others. These lies become deeply rooted in our thinking until we accept them as truth. But they are not true! We need healing and deliverance from these lies and will sometimes need help from a friend, counselor or trusted advisor. After we identify false beliefs, we must replace the lies with the truth of what God actually says about the same issue. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). A powerful way to do this is to use the ‘truth declaration’ included below on a daily basis.

Pursue intimacy with God.

Intimacy with God is a relationship and like all relationships it will suffer from neglect but thrive on attention. God is running towards us in pursuit of our hearts and a deep relationship with us. Let’s also run towards Him! One of the ways we can pursue intimacy is through the practice of spiritual disciplines. Bible reading, meditation, prayer, and fasting can all draw us closer to the heart of God. Learning to be still and to listen is a key in experiencing intimacy. Finding our Sabbath rest on a weekly basis is one practice that will help to realign our hearts with His and reminds us that we can stop doing and simply be. In that rest we can again hear the voice of our Father speaking to us as He spoke to Jesus, “You are my child whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mt 3:17, paraphrased)

Stop and listen until you hear that voice and it sinks deeply into your soul. Then rise up and lead from a place of intimacy, serving Him who passionately loves you as you serve others. Your world is waiting to see Jesus in your leadership.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Why do I so desperately crave the approval of people? Why do I feel compelled to work so hard? Why is it hard for me to accept criticism?
• What lies have I believed about myself, God, or others which keep me from an intimate relationship with Jesus? (For example, If you do well, you are loved.” “If you look good, you are valued.” “When you work hard, you have worth.” “If you open your heart, you will be hurt again.” “God saved you but He doesn’t really love you.”)
• What is the truth for each lie I have believed?
• In what ways is God inviting me to pursue intimacy with Him? What needs to change in my life this week to make this happen?

Truth Declaration: (repeat out loud daily until you believe every word!)

I am deeply loved by the Almighty God. He values me and calls me His bride. He pursues me in creation, with singing and most of all through His son, Jesus who lived and died because of His passion for a relationship with me. He delights in me and sings over me with love!

I consciously reject the lies I formerly believed about myself and choose instead to believe the truth of God’s word about me.

My worth in Christ is not dependent on what I do. My performance is not the basis of my worth; instead it is rooted in His performance which is perfect. My value comes in my relationship with Him, not in my work for Him. I humbly accept His praise in place of the need to be affirmed by others. I accept with gratitude His unconditional love for me.

I am motivated to serve others by His grace in my life; not by guilt. I can relax and rest in His love and listen to His instructions before acting. I am accepted as I am and empowered by God to become who He calls me to be. He receives all the glory for whatever He can do with my life. I love Him because He first loved me. Today I will live and lead from a position of intimacy with Jesus.

In the last three issues we examined the “big three” sins of the tongue: Talking too much, lying, and gossiping. James reminds us that as leaders we are held to a higher level of accountability because of our influence (James 3:1). So, let’s conclude this series by looking at five practical steps we can each take to change our tongue.

Confess our sin.

Sins of the tongue are common to every tribe and nation and someone has pointed out that every tongue is the same color! We must stop calling gossipping, lying and talking too much a ‘weakness’ or a ‘problem’ and call it what God does, sin! When we confess it as sin, there is biblical cleansing (1 John 1:9).

Look at our heart.

When we have a problem with our tongue, the root of the problem is our heart. Luke 6:45 concludes, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” We hurt others with our words because we lack love; we gossip because we lack respect for our brother; we lie because we want others to think well of us. Let God deal with our heart before we try to change our tongue.

Memorize the Word.

The best way that I know to change our heart is to get the Word of God deep inside us through memorization and meditation (Psalms 119:9-11). Memorize verses that deal with the specific problem you have. If it is lying, memorize verses that speak of lying. If it is gossip, memorize verses that deal with that subject. The Word of God will begin to change your heart and your tongue will follow.

Ask forgiveness when we fail.

When we sin with our tongues it is very helpful to humble ourselves and use the same tongue to ask forgiveness from those we have hurt (James 5:16). The seven hardest words to say are “I was wrong, will you forgive me?” But do it today. The pain of confession is a powerful incentive to change!

Be patient.

Change takes time. Our speech will not change completely overnight, although it can begin to change tonight! Some of our habits and patterns of speech have taken years to develop and will take some time for God to change in us. But, change is possible! Philippians 1:6 says, “He that began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Let Him begin that good work on your tongue today.

God is still working on me and my tongue is not always under the control of the Holy Spirit. But He has radically changed the way I use my tongue in the past 20 years! Take a moment as we come to the conclusion of this year to reflect on ways that God wants to change your tongue. Use the questions for reflection below to continue your journey.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Take a moment to review the previous three issues on the “big three” sins of the tongue. Which one is the biggest problem for you? __________
• With this sin in mind, work through the five steps in this lesson. I suggest that you write out a confession and identify the heart issue which is at stake. For example, “I confess that I sin by talking too much. This flows from the pride in my heart. I ask you to forgive me for this sin and give me the grace to change. I commit myself to memorize the following verse (insert the verse) and will ask forgiveness from _______ and ______ (insert names). Today will be a turning point for the way I use my tongue and I trust God to help me complete the journey.”

Nothing more profoundly shaped Moses’ leadership than the time he spent in God’s presence. When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. (Ex. 34:29) This physical transformation was only an external sign of the relationship God desires to have with every servant leader. In what way does being in God’s presence make a difference in our leadership?

Leading from God’s presence shapes the leader.

There is no doubt that Moses’ life was deeply molded by his frequent face to face encounters with God. His encounter with the burning bush was a one time event that confirmed his call to lead, but these regular encounters with God made him a great leader. In God’s presence Moses learned to know the awesome God of the burning bush in a relationship so deep that they talked like friends. (Ex. 33:11) Moses didn’t go into God’s presence only for leadership training or instruction; he went to meet his God. He wasn’t seeking a supernatural glow on his face to impress the followers, but he was simply transformed by God’s presence. Time in God’s presence transforms character and shapes the leader’s inner person. In God’s presence my own sin, selfishness, or wrong motives are exposed and changed. I find strength to continue on and courage to do what is right.

Leading from God’s presence provides direction to the leader.

Moses obtained direction from God as he spent time in His presence. He came down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments as well as the blueprint for how God’s people should live. Furthermore, Moses led the people to meet God as he had done. (Ex. 19:17) Servant leaders experience God’s presence and then invite others to join them. They direct people to God’s plan, not their own dream or vision.

The cloud of God’s presence was a constant indication of God’s direction. Moses longed for this direction to the extent that he said to God, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” (Ex. 33:15) I long for such clear physical manifestation of God’s direction and often forget that Jesus promised each of His followers the guidance of the Spirit of God (Jn. 16:13). Servant leaders find time to get into God’s presence for clear direction for themselves and those who follow.

Leading from God’s presence demands sacrifice from the leader.

There’s a cost to being in God’s presence. For Moses on the mountain it was 40 days without food or water! In other seasons of his leadership he found time on a regular basis to enter the ‘tent of meeting.’ God doesn’t charge money for His presence, but there is a price to be paid. We all want the glow on our face, but few want to pay the price of daily spending time with God or seasons of fasting to seek Him!

Servant leaders pay the price for God’s presence. They are changed in His presence in ways that transform their leadership at home, in the marketplace or in church. Their leadership is no longer about calling people to reach their own goals, but calling people to also experience God’s presence and reach His goals. When their leadership flows out of time in God’s presence followers will see the radiance of God in their lives.

The background reading for this issue is: Exodus 19-31, 33: 7-23, 34:29-35 and Numbers 9

For further reflection and discussion:

• Can my followers tell today that I’ve been with Jesus?
• Is my leadership focused primarily on getting people to reach my goals, or helping people reach God’s goals for our organization?
• What difference would it make in my leadership if each day began with a time in God’s presence?
• Is my time in the ‘tent of meeting’ an integral part of my leadership or simply another task on my ‘to do’ list?
• Do I spend enough time in God’s presence to know His direction for the decisions I need to make today?