When Paul calls us as leaders to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), he clearly wants what we speak to be true. But when he explains that love is “not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:5), Paul goes deep into our hearts to expose the reasons why we speak truth.

What we say matters but our motive for saying it also matters! Paul recognizes that we may speak truth, but our motive is to benefit ourselves rather than the other person. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says we should speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” The truth should benefit the other person, not the speaker.

Servant leaders learn from Paul to speak the truth without any hint of personal gain. Their focus is outward, not inward. They focus on the needs of the other, not themselves.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking requires balance.

Both truth and an unselfish motive are required for balanced speech. Many leaders have a passion to speak truth, but their motive is selfish. Perhaps they think that the truth will make them look better than the other person, since they don’t have that problem. Or they may realize that the person’s mistake is hindering the growth of the organization, so they decide to speak the truth. But their motive is to advance the organization, not to meet the needs of the person. Or they may speak truth to respond to something that hurt them personally. These motives are all seeking self!

On the other hand, a leader may have genuine love for the other person but fear that speaking the truth will cause offense or damage the relationship. So, they say nothing, and the truth is lost! Both truth and a focus on the needs of the other person are needed. Sometimes speaking the truth in love will benefit the other person and benefit themselves or the organization. But servant leaders don’t allow their own interests to determine their actions. Instead, they look to the needs of the other.

The needs of the other, not the needs of the leader, determine what will be said and how it will be spoken. Servant leaders balance truth with the motive of meeting other’s needs.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking reveals maturity.

All leaders are naturally selfish, so maturity is required to speak truth with no hint of self-seeking! Because motives are often hidden, servant leaders take time to ask God to expose what is hidden in their hearts.

When they make mistakes, servant leaders repent and ask God to continue changing their hearts and revealing hidden motives. They ask God to break their proud hearts and pour His love for others into the places that once were focused only on self. This breaking often happens over a long period of time as a leader walks in daily obedience to Jesus. As servant leaders grow in maturity, their words of truth expressed in genuine love become life-giving gifts to those who hear them.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking reflects Jesus.

Jesus was able to speak truth without seeking His own needs. In John 5:28-30, He says, ²⁸“Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice ²⁹and come out—those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned. ³⁰By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”

The truth that Jesus spoke was difficult to accept but He spoke boldly. At the same time, He was not saying these things to please Himself or to make Himself look good. He spoke the warning that His listeners needed to hear.

Servant leaders reflect on Paul’s words and follow the example of Jesus to speak truth without self-seeking.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to focus on my needs, or on the needs of those I speak to? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but was seeking self? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Is there anything I should do now to correct that mistake?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke truth without self-seeking? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019. 

¹ Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ² After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. ³ The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” ⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God’” (Matthew 4:1-4).

The tempter didn’t question Jesus’ ability to make the stones become bread. So what was the test and how does it apply to us as leaders? This was a temptation to use His calling to provide for His needs. Every leader will be tempted to use their leadership calling as provision for their needs in three ways.

The temptation to use leadership calling as provision for personality needs. The devil very cleverly tested Jesus’ identity with the words, “If you are the Son of God…” His temptation was for Jesus to prove His identity by performing a miracle. He tempted Jesus to use His power to prove who He was. But Jesus refused to allow His leadership calling to shape His identity. His identity was already deeply rooted in His relationship with His Father.

It is easy for leaders to find their identity in their calling or role. Leaders often introduce themselves by saying, “I’m the pastor…chairman…or CEO.” Of course, there is nothing wrong with having an identity as a leader. The temptation, however, is to use our leadership role to provide our identity. Servant leaders refuse to allow their role to define who they are.

The temptation to use leadership calling as provision for physical needs. Jesus was hungry and ready for something to eat after 40 days of fasting. Jesus had a legitimate physical need. The temptation for Jesus was to use His power to meet these physical needs. But He responded, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Jesus implies that His calling is to higher things than the physical. He was called to help people find purpose for their lives, a sense of fulfillment, to develop their own gifts and to see the needs of the world as He did. To use His leadership for “bread alone” would have been a great compromise.

All leaders have physical needs for food, money, and housing. These physical needs are legitimate, just as Jesus’ need for food was normal. But the physical needs should not be the focus of our leadership. Servant leaders gratefully accept God’s provision for their physical needs, but focus their leadership on a higher purpose.

The temptation to use leadership calling as provision for personal needs. The temptation to turn the stones into bread was for Jesus to use His calling to serve Himself instead of serving others. He was called to be the Bread of Life and to offer Himself to others, feeding them physically and spiritually. But Jesus refused to allow His leadership to fulfill His own needs, choosing instead to offer Himself for the sake of others.

Leaders are tempted to use their positions to focus on what they get out of the role instead of what they can give to others. Servant leaders follow Jesus’ example and focus on what they can give rather than what they will get. They recognize that leadership is a sacred calling, not a means to physical gain.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what ways am I tempted to allow my leadership to shape my identity? If I would lose my current position or role, would I still know who I am?
• In what ways does my leadership role provide for my physical needs? Are there ways that I am tempted to see my calling as primarily to provide for the physical? If so, what is the result in my leadership? What is the ‘higher’ calling of my leadership role?
• Does my leadership focus more on what I can give or what I will get from the role?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

Paul’s next instruction to Timothy is to find leaders who are “respectable” (1Timothy 3:2). Being respectable is much deeper than looking good on the outside or impressing people with charisma or leadership skills. Paul recognized that followers will not long follow a leader they do not genuinely respect. He understood that positions are given but respect is earned. He wanted to assure that the leaders who served on his team had earned the respect of those who followed. With this instruction Paul calls each of us to live as servant leaders earning respect in at least three ways.

Servant leaders are respectable when their lives are principled.

Principles, not convenience or public opinion, are the compass for leaders whose lives are respectable. Far too many leaders try to find out what people want; then take their stand based on what is most popular. That may win votes but it will never win respect. Servant leaders base their lives on unchanging principles. They are charitable to those who disagree with their positions but refuse to be swayed by popular opinion. They refuse to lie even in the smallest matter. They don’t exaggerate their reports. They do not compromise what they believe to make more profit or bring another member to their church.

Servant leaders are respectable when their lives are selfless.

Leaders who are worthy of respect put the needs of others above themselves. Day after day, they lay down their own wishes and surrender their rights to serve others. They focus on others, not themselves. This is not a gimmick to win favor, but a genuine heart attitude of love for others and a commitment to give as leaders rather than to receive. Leaders who serve only themselves may get a lot done and may appear to be successful. They believe that they will be respected because of their position and achievements. But until they focus on others their lives are not worthy of respect. Servant leaders use their positions to serve others; not themselves and as they do so they earn the right to be respected.

Servant leaders are respectable when their lives are consistent.

Respect is earned as a result of consistent behavior over a long period of time. Servant leaders are not seeking instant success or popularity. They begin with the end in mind and focus on long term results rather than short term gains. They recognize that a moment of indiscretion can ruin years of consistency so they guard their lives against secret sins that will eventually surface and destroy their respectability. They are willing to consistently model the way day after day, year after year.

Joseph, the husband of Mary, provides a biblical example of a respectable man. He is described as a “just” or “righteous” man (Matthew 1:19). When faced with what seemed like an obvious sin in Mary, he determined to act in accordance with his principles and also in a manner that would honor her rather than simply expressing his own feelings. When God directed him to continue their relationship, he selflessly stayed with her at great cost to his personal reputation. His consistent obedience to God’s instructions enabled him to pass the quality assurance checklist as a respectable leader. His life calls each of us to reflect for a moment to ask ourselves if we are leaders worthy of respect.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Reflect on decisions you have made in the past week. Were they made based primarily on principle or feelings? What results did they produce in your leadership and what can you learn from this?
• What are the five most important guiding principles in my life? Are these consistently clear to those around me?
• What have I done in my leadership in the past month to focus on the needs of others instead of my own desires?
• To what extent do I model consistency with my life? Am I focused on long term gains or short term wins? Are there secret sins in my life that if exposed would diminish my influence? If so, what do I need to do about them?

Servant leaders live in an intimate relationship with Jesus which profoundly shapes all aspects of their leadership. Their leadership flows from this relationship. Those who don’t walk in intimacy unconsciously seek it through their leadership, leading towards intimacy. In the next three issues, we’ll explore this concept in more detail. Jesus is the best example of what it means to lead from intimacy.

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist (John 13:3-4).

The first part of this verse makes it clear that Jesus knew His power, His past and His potential. Jesus led from a position of personal security and confidence in His own relationship with His Father. Because of this intimate relationship with God, Jesus did not need His position of leadership to prove anything to anyone, nor did He use His leadership to meet His own emotional needs. He knew His credentials but was not seeking to impress others with them. This is a picture of leading from intimacy and allowed Jesus to do three difficult things.

Leading from intimacy allows release of rights.

Jesus got up from the meal. It is not clear whether this was in the middle or beginning of the meal but Jesus interrupted the normal flow of eating to serve. We all prefer to eat instead of work but Jesus gave up His ‘right’ to a full meal because the disciples needed a leadership lesson! It’s difficult to release what we feel are our ‘rights.’ Our ‘rights’ may include physical comfort, privacy, peace and quiet, respect, the right to be heard and understood, and many more. Servant leaders who lead from intimacy are able to surrender these ‘rights’ with no loss of personal security.

Leading from intimacy allows relinquishing privileges.

Jesus also took off his outer clothing. I don’t believe that He did this because it was impossible to wash feet with the clothing on, but He wanted to symbolize the removal of anything that showed His privileges as the leader of the group. He was the leader, but didn’t have a need to show it, because He led from a position of intimacy. Our privileges may be in how we dress, but may also be evident in our titles, the special office space or parking position, the degrees we display on our business card or in other ways. Servant leaders who lead from a position of intimacy can, when needed, let go of these privileges and still lead.

Leading from intimacy allows responsible acts of service.

Jesus wrapped a towel around His waist and proceeded to wash the feet of His disciples. This act is often used as a model of servant leadership and rightly so. But we often try to imitate His action without acknowledging His starting point–intimacy with His Father. For Jesus, this act of service was not to gain favor or respect. It was not to prove how good He was. It flowed out of His intimate relationship with the Father. He was leading and serving from a position of intimacy, not seeking intimacy through service. We can easily view service as a means to greatness, as an opportunity to advance in leadership or a way to show others how great we are. Don’t try to serve unless it flows out of an intimate relationship with Jesus! Servant leaders who lead from an intimate relationship with Jesus have no problem serving those they lead in radical ways.

For further reflection and discussion:

• If today I lost my title, position and influence, how would I view myself? Would my value decrease, increase or stay the same? What does my response indicate about my source of security?
• In what practical ways have I served those I led in the past week? What was my motive for serving them? (Think carefully about this as our motives are often hidden deep within our hearts.)
• Do I sometimes serve others to meet my own need for significance? If so, what is God inviting me to change?
• Is my leadership characterized most by leading towards or from intimacy? In what ways has this been displayed in my leadership this week?

We have examined the foundation of Nehemiah’s vision to build the wall. It was based on his character and birthed in prayer. In this issue we’ll observe that Nehemiah’s vision was not about himself but about others. It came as a response to the report he received about Jerusalem. They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire”(Nehemiah 1:3). Nehemiah’s vision to build the wall was a response to the desperate need of the people in Jerusalem. All visions meet some need. However, visions of servant leaders like Nehemiah focus clearly on two objectives.

The vision of servant leaders focuses on the needs of others.

Nehemiah’s vision was unique in that it had nothing to do with himself; it was focused on the need of the people in Jerusalem. The visions of many leaders are more about themselves than others. Some visions come from the leader’s own need to feel important or to be seen as a successful leader. This leader develops a vision and calls others to follow. A vision to build your business to make a profit is a worthy goal. Likewise the vision of a pastor to see many people come to faith in Christ is commendable. The issue is not so much in the outcomes but in the motive behind it and whether it is focused on self or others. If your vision is about yourself and your own ego, at least acknowledge that it is not a Nehemiah vision. Do your followers a favor and simply say, “I have a dream and I want you to help me fulfill the dream.” Many so called ‘visions from God’ have very little to do with God but more to do with the ego of the leader who is sharing the vision. As Christian leaders we must be very careful not to clothe our own visions with spiritual language that seems to make the vision come from God. Servant leaders like Nehemiah have the high privilege of saying to others, “I believe God is calling us to….” This privilege cannot be taken lightly and can only be done when the vision is clearly focused on the needs of others, not the leader.

With so many needs around us, how do servant leaders know on which needs God is calling them to focus? God will not call us to meet every need. We will hear of or see some needs and for a short time our hearts may be touched but we soon forget about it. Vision that comes from God will continue to burn in our hearts and grow stronger with time. Time also allows us to check our motives. Nehemiah’s vision grew as he spent time fasting and praying over the needs of the people.

The vision of servant leaders seeks to glorify God.

Nehemiah acknowledges in his prayer that the reason Jerusalem is a significant city is not simply because his relatives live there but because God has identified this city as “the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name” (Neh. 1:9). The focus of Nehemiah’s vision to restore the wall was to bring glory to God and to restore the city that represented His presence. Whether we serve in the world of business, church, politics, education, or at home, our vision should first and foremost, be one that brings glory to God. True leadership is not simply about growing a bigger organization or increasing the numbers. Rather, it is about finding the need that God wants us to fill and glorifying Him as we lead others in fulfilling the vision.

These two elements must be in place for the vision of every servant leader. Measure your vision with the standards of Nehemiah. Ask yourself whose need the vision will meet and whether it brings glory to God. This again calls for prayer which helps guard our hearts against visions that promote self and take glory from God. May we all find visions that truly meet the needs of others and glorify God.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Reflect on the vision you have in your vocation. Is your vision based on the needs of others or has your focus been on what you can get out of it? Take several days to reflect on this. Ask a few close friends for their observation of the way you lead with your vision.
• Take time to write out in one sentence how your vision does (or should) bring glory to God.
• If your vision is clearly focused on meeting the needs of others and glorifying God, what difference will that make in how you call others to follow the vision? What difference will it make when the normal measures of ‘success’ (money, numbers, size, etc.) are not what you desire?

With this issue we begin a series of reflections on the life of Nehemiah, a great servant leader with strengths in many areas. We will focus on one aspect of his leadership which every leader needs: vision. Nehemiah lived in exile, born and raised in the Persian empire where he served as cupbearer to the king around 445 BC. Nehemiah’s vision was to help his people build a wall around Jerusalem, the capital city of his exiled people. All of us as servant leaders can learn much from the manner in which he accomplished this vision. A close look at the first chapter provides several clues about the depth of his character, the basis for his vision. Several qualities reflect his strong character.

Nehemiah asked questions and listened.

When some of his relatives returned from Jerusalem, Nehemiah promptly asked them about the condition of the city and people of Jerusalem and listened carefully to their response. The ability to talk less and listen more is a sign of a heart that has been disciplined by the Spirit. James instructs all believers to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Servant leaders learn how to ask questions and listen carefully to what others are saying.

Nehemiah was concerned for others.

Nehemiah had a secure and honored position and had nothing to gain by caring about the condition of Jerusalem. But the questions he asked focused on the condition of others and reflect a heart that was focused on others. This outward focus is a characteristic of leaders whose hearts have been set free from selfish agendas on which many leaders base their visions. Servant leaders learn to put the needs and priorities of others above their own and God longs to find hearts ready to embrace His vision for others.

Nehemiah was prayerful.

When Nehemiah heard about the condition of Jerusalem his initial response was to pray. We will look at this more closely in our next issue. For now, recognize that Nehemiah didn’t just pray when faced with a crisis. Prayer was a pattern of his life and a sign of a disciplined heart. This crisis simply called him to continue praying. Servant leaders don’t pray only because of the current need; they develop patterns of prayer that keep them in an intimate relationship with Jesus.

Nehemiah was trustworthy.

A simple statement says much about Nehemiah’s character, “I was cupbearer to the king”(Nehemiah 1:11). Nehemiah had earned a position with the king that required the king to literally trust Nehemiah with his life. He had learned to serve others before he called others to serve.

All of these attributes point to a man who was prepared to receive a vision from God that would impact the lives of many. His character was solid. Many leaders look for a vision that will help them accomplish their own selfish agendas. Servant leaders focus on becoming people to whom God can entrust His vision. Character forms the basis for vision because it positions us to hear God’s voice, it protects us from pursuing selfish agendas, and enables us to carry out the vision in ways that honor the people whom God will call to help carry out the vision.

To think about: Am I a leader whose character is prepared for a God-inspired vision?

For further reflection and discussion:

• What evidence is there in my leadership in the past 24 hours that my heart is focused on the needs of others?
• How well and how often do I ask questions? Have I learned to draw out the needs of others? Take a moment to write down several questions you can ask of someone you lead.
• Reflect on James 1:19 and the implications this has for your leadership. How well do I listen to others? Would those who are under my leadership agree? (Ask them!)
• What is the result if I have a vision that it bigger than my character?
• What steps is God calling me to take to develop my character?

In the last issue we acknowledged the amazing power servant leaders have in their tongue, “The power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). James cautions leaders that they will be held accountable for how they use their tongue and warns us that “no man can tame the tongue” (James 3:8). I don’t believe he is urging us to give up, but challenging us that the task of taming the tongue is a difficult process which demands diligent effort. Every leader will struggle in some area with the power of their tongue. In this, and the next two issues, we will look at what I call ‘the big three’ sins of the tongue: too many words, lying and gossip. Servant leaders should be alert for signs of any of these in their leadership.

The first is simply talking too much! All leaders talk a lot, it is the way we communicate vision and direction. But scripture warns against talking too much. Paul warns Timothy, a young servant leader, “Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly” (2 Tim. 2: 16). The writer of Ecclesiastes even warns us against talking to God too much (Ecclesiastes 5:1-3)! Some people talk and talk! What’s wrong with too many words?

Too many words leads to other sins.

Prov. 10:19, says, “When words are many, sin is not absent.” Those who talk too much will inevitably end up committing some sin with their speech. When the truth is finished, lies will follow. When a good report is over, a bad report will continue. When nice things to be said are all gone, slander or gossip will continue. Beware of leaders who talk too much! Servant leaders recognize the truth of these words, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).

Too many words hinder listening.

Talking and listening can’t happen at the same time. Most of us find it easy to talk but difficult to listen. James challenges us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19) God gave us two ears and one mouth. Apparently we should listen twice as much as we talk! Servant leaders develop the art of listening to those they lead.

Too many words are selfish.

When a leader speaks too much it indicates that he/she feels more important than those who are supposed to listen. Talking too much says that my agenda is more important than yours. I value what I have to say more than what you might be ready to contribute. The focus is on self instead of others. Servant leadership is about meeting the needs of others, not satisfying my own desire to express myself. When I talk too much I am not serving others, I am serving myself.

Talking too much is not simply an issue of personality. There are clearly people who naturally talk more than others and they may struggle more with this issue of too many words. But any personality can easily say more than is needed and find it difficult to genuinely listen to the needs of others.

Servant leaders clearly need to talk! They communicate God’s vision and direction for those they lead. They use their mouths to encourage and at times to rebuke. But they need to guard against the danger of too many words and ask God for the self-control needed to close their mouths!

For further reflection and discussion:

• Think about someone you know who talks too much. (We can often more clearly see the sins of others than of ourselves!) What does it feel like when you are around them? What can you learn for your own leadership from this reflection?
• Reflect on your own personality. Do you naturally talk much or little? In what ways are you tempted to talk too much? Has anyone ever told you, “You talk too much?” What impact has too much talking had on your leadership? Are there persons from whom you need to ask forgiveness?
• How well do you listen to others? Plan a meeting with someone and try to simply listen and ask questions for 10 minutes. Don’t say anything else!

We live in a world looking for ‘more.’ Marketers encourage us to buy because the product has ‘25% more!’ Businesses look for more customers and more profit. Churches look for more members and bigger budgets. Those who have more are highly esteemed. Leaders, as agents of change, naturally join the quest for more.

But John the Baptist shared a new paradigm for servant leaders when he said about Jesus, “He must become greater, I must become less.” (Jn. 3:30) This often overlooked Biblical leader recognized what all of us need to grasp: leadership is not about more of me; it’s about more of Jesus. When I decrease, Jesus can increase. In the upside down kingdom of Jesus, servant leaders lead more with less. How can we lead like John?

Lead more with less by focusing on others.

The power of John’s leadership came from the fact that he did not focus on himself but on others. He was not concerned about his own image or building his own kingdom. He saw the needs of people and proclaimed a message to meet their needs. When Jesus appeared John didn’t focus on his own career. Instead, he pointed people to Jesus who would meet their needs more completely. Servant leadership is really about meeting the needs of others. For an organizational leader, this style of leadership allows focus on the vision of the organization instead of the leaders’ own advancement. The focal point is on those who produce the product or meet the need of the customer. For servant leaders, less of the leader and more of Jesus yields powerful results.

Lead more with less by championing the team.

John the Baptist was not a weakling; he was a gifted leader! He drew crowds and boldly proclaimed a message that championed his cause. People responded and his influence grew to the extent that the political leaders took notice. He was on the road to celebrity status, the dream of many leaders. But he knew his role on the team and when Jesus appeared, he had no reservations about pointing people to Him. To use a sports analogy, John ‘passed the ball’ to a better player. Servant leaders recognize and applaud the efforts of their teams. They say, “Look what you all have done” instead of “Look what I have done.” They are willing to pass the ball to help the team advance even if they won’t get the credit. They are not afraid to bring people around them who are more skilled than they are.

Lead more with less by avoiding the ‘perks’ of leadership.

Most leaders envy the celebrity status John the Baptist enjoyed but they aren’t so excited about his diet of locusts and wild honey! Even as John’s popularity increased, he didn’t give up the simple acts of self-denial that God used to keep him humble. Often, Christian leaders begin with much prayer and fasting, but as they rise in power they start ignoring the basics. They begin to enjoy the ‘perks’ of leadership: titles, expense accounts or bigger office spaces. While these things are not necessarily wrong, servant leaders do not focus on the benefits of leadership. They recognize that as they climb the servant leadership ladder, their responsibilities increase but their privileges decrease. Their time and talents belong less to themselves and more to others. They are more accountable. They lead more with less.

Leading more with less in no way implies less confidence or courage in sharing the vision and helping people move forward. Leading more with less is not for weak leaders. But it does change the focus, less on the leader and more on the people and God’s purposes for their lives. Pause for a moment and ask God how you can lead more with less.

For further reflection and discussion:

• What makes it difficult for me to lead like John the Baptist, more with less?
• Is the focus of my leadership on my own advancement or on meeting the needs of others? (Think deeply about this before you answer!)
• When is the last time you sent a customer or member somewhere else because you knew it would better meet their needs?
• If someone else can do something better than I can, am I willing to empower them to do it or do I insist on doing it myself? Why?
• Are there ‘perks’ (privileges) of leadership that keep me from serving others? If so, what do I need to do to lead more with less?
• Are you willing to let someone else take the center of the stage or do you always need to be in the front?