Healthy leaders understand that their heart shapes everything they do. They pay attention to their emotions—not to be ruled by them, but to guide them in the right direction. Great leaders don’t suppress emotions; they shepherd them. Our heart can be guided in the right direction. Consider these scriptures:  

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me (John 14:1, NIV).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6–7).

Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path (Proverbs 23:19).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5–6)

These verses make it clear that we have a responsibility to guide our hearts and emotions. How can we guide the direction of our heart?

We guide our heart by refusing its wrong directions.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” He addressed their fear of the future and anxiety over His departure. But His words clearly indicate that we have the power and the responsibility to refuse to live with emotions that take us in the wrong direction.    

Some leaders learn to acknowledge their emotions but do not make any effort to change them. They might say to their team, “That’s just the way I feel and nothing is going to change it.” But serving leaders identify emotions that take their heart in the wrong direction and they refuse to dwell there. They say, “That’s the way I feel, but I’m not going to move in that direction!”

We guide our heart by replacing its wrong directions.

Jesus’ words to the disciples implied that the way to be set free from their troubled hearts was to focus on their belief in Him. Paul makes the same point clear when he talks about anxiety in Philippians. He recognizes that when our emotions lead us in the wrong direction it is not enough to refuse the wrong emotion, it must be replaced with another.  So, he instructs us to replace anxiety with prayer and thanksgiving. Focusing on prayer with thanksgiving will result in “the peace of God” replacing anxiety. It is difficult to be anxious and thankful at the same time!

Some leaders acknowledge that their emotion is not healthy, but don’t do the hard work of replacing it with a better one. But serving leaders ask God to help them find a replacement for that emotion. They are willing to spend time in prayer or giving thanks when they feel anxiety welling up within them.

We guide our heart by redirecting it in the right direction.

 How does this apply to our emotions and hearts? Not only are we invited to refuse to allow our emotions to go in the wrong direction and to replace specific emotions as Paul instructed, but the writer of Proverbs invites us to redirect our hearts on the right path. A path implies a direction that continues over time leading to a destination. Finding the right path happens as we learn to “trust in the Lord with all your heart…lean not on your own understanding…submit to him.” This is a lifelong process of learning to put our trust in the Lord and to submit to His ways. We learn to submit our hearts and emotions to Him, openly acknowledging what we feel but then submitting those feelings to Him and asking for His power to set our emotions on the right path.

Some leaders try to change their hearts on their own by sheer willpower or effort. They tell themselves, “I won’t get angry again!” But serving leaders acknowledge that without God’s help, their hearts will not follow the right path. They submit their emotions to Him and find the right path. They cry out, “God, I don’t want my heart to follow a path of anger, please redirect my emotions to your path.”

 Effective leaders pay attention to the condition of their hearts and take the journey towards emotional health. This allows them to lead others from a place of peace instead of anxiety.

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what ways has my leadership been led by my emotions? (If you are unsure, ask a trusted friend for their input.)
• Have I viewed my emotions as within my control or out of my control? How has this impacted my leadership?
• What emotions do I experience regularly that take me in the wrong direction? How aware am I of how these emotions impact my life and leadership? Who receives the greatest impact of these emotions?
• What replacements could I make for these emotions? Are there actions I could take that would help to replace these emotions with more helpful ones?   
• What is the general “path” of my emotional health, is it heading in the right direction or the wrong direction? How is this a reflection of my capacity to not lean on my own understanding, but submit to God?
• In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Deuteronomy 6:5-6; Psalm 37:4, 42:5, 51:10, 119:11; Proverbs 4:23, 23:17, 24:17; Ezekiel 36:26; Matthew 6:21; Colossians 3:15.     How do these verses deepen my understanding about how to guide my heart?     

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll begin a new series!

If you want a single document with all three issues of this series, click here.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

In the previous issue we looked at how serving leaders surrender money, seeing themselves as stewards of the financial resources entrusted to them. The second principle that guides serving leaders in relation to money is focused on how they get, or secure, money. Serving leaders recognize that without money, they cannot accomplish their mission. They recognize that their stewardship involves a responsibility to think carefully about how their money is obtained. Serving leaders secure money to serve others. This includes the organization, the people on their team, clients, vendors, and their community. As they think about getting money, they consider verses like these:

These verses, and others, indicate that there are correct and incorrect ways to get money and establish guidelines for how serving leaders secure money.

Serving leaders secure money by working well.  

“All hard work brings a profit….” Serving leaders are not afraid of hard work! They are willing to give the time and effort that is needed to earn money.  

Some leaders use their role to get out of work, believing that leadership is getting others to do the work. But serving leaders understand that they lead well by working well. They set an example to others with their commitment to work hard. They think and make financial plans and decisions that require hard work to accomplish. They work to establish financial integrity in their organization with appropriate safeguards for those involved in handling money.  Then they serve by getting busy and working hard!

Serving leaders secure money by balancing well.

Serving leaders work hard but they also have “the wisdom to show restraint.” Some leaders never stop working in their pursuit to get money. But serving leaders recognize that the connection between hard work and profit can quickly lead to an imbalanced life so they learn how to show restraint. They find ways to say “enough” and when it is time to stop they leave the office and turn off the cell phone or computer. This allows them to spend time with their family, engage in other activities including their own need for exercise and sleep. Because they see themselves as stewards they take diligent care of the money under their control, but they don’t allow the money to control them and they understand when it’s time to stop work!

Serving leaders secure money by treating well.

Serving leaders serve their organizations by treating the persons in the organization well. Many leaders see workers simply as bodies for production and are not concerned about their personal lives. But serving leaders value those who work with them and refuse to make money at their expense. They seek to pay wages that are as generous as possible while also safeguarding the financial integrity of the organization. Serving leaders understand that treating people well actually benefits the profitability of the organization by increasing employee engagement and productivity.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is my life a good example of hard work? In what way does this impact my leadership?
• Have I established appropriate financial safeguards in my organization to protect myself and others from temptation and to encourage integrity in finances? If not, what do I need to do?
• In what ways am I tempted to work too much? How does this impact my relationships with family, friends and my own health and wellbeing? What do I need to change this week to begin to show restraint?
• How well do I treat people under my leadership? Am I as generous towards them as possible? Where I am not able to provide more financial benefit to them, do I look for other ways to honor them as people and see that they are well treated?
• Consider these additional verses related to finances and stewardship:  Proverbs 1:19, 6:10-11, 13:11; Luke 14:28, 16:9-11; James 5:4; 2 Thessalonians 3:6, 10, 12. What more do you learn about how you interact with money as a serving leader?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how serving leaders share money.

As he developed his leadership capacity one of the areas that Timothy needed to learn was the discipline of self-control. Consider these instructions from Paul to the young leader:  

I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy (2 Timothy 1:3–4, NIV).

Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:25–26).

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:16).

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales; rather, train yourself to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).

These passages reveal three areas in which Timothy learned self-control.

Timothy learned to control his temper.  

Paul remembers Timothy’s tears and urges him to instruct “gently” when he would be tempted to lash out in anger.  Sorrow and anger are two of the many emotions that every leader faces. Paul does not rebuke Timothy for these emotions, but tenderly encourages self-control, one of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). Anger is perhaps one of the most potentially destructive emotions for leaders. No one wants to follow a leader who cannot control their temper and a lack of self-control in this area has hindered the effectiveness of many leaders.   A temper out of control is a leadership nightmare.

But serving leaders both acknowledge and control their emotions. They are not afraid to reveal their tears and they learn to keep their anger from being destructive.  They acknowledge that they can’t serve others when they lose their temper.  

Timothy learned to control his tongue.   

We have already observed Paul’s instruction for Timothy to instruct his opponents “gently”. Paul recognized that it requires great self-control to speak gently when there is direct opposition! The tongue often verbally expresses the anger in the heart and will not lead to the repentance encouraged by a gentle tongue. Paul also warns Timothy against “godless chatter….godless myths and old wives tales..” He is referring broadly to speech that is not helpful. While words spoken in anger are obviously harmful, other speech is simply not helpful and Paul cautions Timothy to control his tongue so as to avoid this kind of speech. Many leaders have tongues that are as unpredictable as the weather and are more harmful than helpful. But serving leaders seek to control what comes out of their mouths so that it is never harmful and always helpful.

Timothy learned to control his time.   

Part of Paul’s instruction to Timothy to “avoid godless chatter” and “old wives tales” is a direct challenge for him to use his time well. Here and in other places Paul urged Timothy to be diligent in focusing his time and attention to the things that matter and to avoid distractions. In some cases Paul urged Timothy to “Come quickly” while at other times not to be “hasty” (see 1 Timothy 5:22 and 2 Timothy 4:9). Timothy had to learn to manage his time well. If these instructions were given today we might hear Paul say, “Don’t waste your time on useless conversations and following the latest controversies on social media!” Many leaders allow the tyranny of the urgent to keep them from the most effective use of their time. Serving leaders learn to control their schedule so that they are doing the things that best bring value to those they serve.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Which of these three areas (temper, tongue and time) are most difficult for me to control right now? Reflect on the question below for that area:

*Temper. When have I lost my temper in leadership and how did it impact my influence with others?

*Tongue. In what way do I use my tongue in ways that are not helpful for those I lead? What do I need to do to more fully allow God to help me develop self-control in this area?

*Time. What are my greatest time wasters? What do I need to do to develop greater self-control in this area?

• Reflect on those you lead. How do I encourage them to develop control of themselves that goes far beyond obeying external instructions? Which of these three areas should I be talking about with my key leaders?        
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 1 Timothy 5:22; 2 Timothy 2:4; 4:2, 9-12, 21. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy learned self-control?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how Timothy became a role model to others.

Serving leaders, like all leaders, have and use authority.  Authority is the legitimate power that gives them the right to act in their role as a leader. But many serving leaders may find the subject of authority a bit awkward.  Is authority good or bad? How does it fit with the concept of serving others? In this series we’ll examine how serving leaders view and use authority. First, a glimpse at the life of David reveals that serving leaders respect the authority of those above them. David was anointed to be king, but Saul was still on the throne and was chasing David and his men. Twice, David had an easy opportunity to kill Saul and take the kingdom. On one of these occasions, David cut off the corner of Saul’s robe.  

 ⁵Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. ⁶He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” ⁷With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way (1 Samuel 24: 5-7, NIV).

David’s restraint shows remarkable respect for the authority of Saul even when Saul was seeking to kill him. David acknowledged that Saul was the king and respected his position even when he didn’t agree with the actions of the king. David’s response shows serving leaders the results of respect for those in authority over them.

Respect for authority builds character.  

This period was a very difficult time in David’s life as he was chased by king Saul. It was a time that his character was tested and shaped in powerful ways. Most significantly, David learned that before he should be in authority, he had to learn to be under authority. This is always a difficult lesson for leaders and much more difficult when the person in authority is not a good leader! But serving leaders respect the authority of those over them and allow God to shape their character as they show respect by their words and actions.  

Respect for authority builds trust

David acted with respect for authority because it was the right thing to do. But his followers were also watching. As they saw David’s respect for king Saul they grew in their trust of David. They observed that he was “conscience-stricken” after cutting Saul’s robe. They heard him describe his enemy as “the anointed of the Lord.” As they watched him closely, they recognized that David was a leader they could trust. Serving leaders build trust with those who follow as they respect the authority of those over them.

Respect for authority builds people.

David’s actions challenged and shaped those who followed him. Although they initially disagreed with his position David’s respect for king Saul helped them grow. David helped them grow them by rebuking them when their values did not align with his. As these men witnessed David’s loyalty to Saul, they also became extremely loyal to David. These men would go on to do extraordinary exploits for David.  They knew that because David had respect for authority, he would not misuse authority when he was in power. Serving leaders serve those who follow by respecting the authority of those above them. As they do so they build the people around them.   

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my attitude towards those in authority over me? Am I able to respect them even when I don’t agree with their decisions? How does my attitude impact the way I lead?   
• How do I talk about those in authority over me? What impact does this have on my leadership as those who follow listen to my comments?
• How do I want those under my authority to view my leadership? Do I have this same view of those over me? How does this impact my ability to serve those under me?      

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how serving leaders accept authority.

Recall the last conversation you had with a close friend. Who did most of the talking, you or the friend? Did the one who talked the most have more influence? We usually think that the person who talks most in the conversation has the most influence. This is true sometimes, but not nearly always!

Effective leaders learn that many times in conversation silence is the wisest action. They consider these words from Proverbs, The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues (Proverbs 17:27-28).

Servant leaders learn that the sound of silence in a conversation demonstrates leadership.

Silence in conversation shows self-control. “…uses words with restraint” (17:27). Everyone wants their voice to be heard. Even the most introverted personalities have something to say. In conversation it is natural and easy to keep talking. How many times do we “bite our tongue” to not say what is really in our minds? To be silent shows great self-control. It is difficult and takes restraint.

Leaders often believe that they have more to say than others and their vision encourages them to talk more than others. Leaders without self-control will soon dominate a conversation. The conversation becomes all about their thoughts and ideas with very little room for the other person(s).

But servant leaders learn that influence can actually increase when words decrease. Silence allows time for listening to the other. A simple question can open the door to the other person’s heart and bring help to them. Servant leaders show self-control as they are silent in a conversation.

Silence in conversation shows security. “…whoever has understanding is even-tempered” (17:27). The “even-tempered” person is able to speak when needed but equally able to keep quiet! This person is not trying to impress others with many words and they are not worried about what others think. They are willing to listen and value the other person because they already know themselves and their own calling. This ability shows great personal security.

A leader who talks too much may simply be an extroverted personality. But the leader may also be insecure and feel a need to impress everyone around them with their talking. They keep talking to show others that they are significant. Servant leaders can be silent with no agenda to prove and nothing to hide. Servant leaders demonstrate security as they are silent in a conversation.

Silence in conversation shows wisdom. “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent” (17:28). Everyone knows that fools talk a lot, so silence is quickly associated with a wise person. If a fool could keep quiet, others would be fooled and think he is wise! This verse has produced the saying, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Wisdom may be expressed in good words, but it may also be expressed in silence! Servant leaders learn that sometimes the wisest thing to say is nothing at all! The other person may not yet be ready for the great idea you have. They may not be ready to change. They may not yet be able to understand what you want to communicate. Or it may be that your own heart is not yet at the right place to speak out the words that are in your mind. Servant leaders show wisdom as they are silent in a conversation.

As servant leaders demonstrate self-control, personal security, and wisdom, they increase their influence with others. They discover that knowledge is more revealed in restraint than in volume of words. Silent leadership speaks loudly in conversation! Servant leaders move up by shutting up!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• When is the last time I said something I later regretted? How might the outcome have been different if I had shown restraint and kept quiet?
• How does my personal security impact the way I talk? Am I able to be quiet with no need to impress others, or do I need to talk a lot to show them who I am? What impact does this have on my leadership?
• Is my wisdom most often expressed in words or in silence? How has this impacted my leadership and is there a way I need to change?
• Reflect on your schedule for today. In what conversations might God be inviting you to speak less? Try it, then reflect on how it felt and what impact it had on the relationship!

 In the next issue, we’ll look at the sound of silent leadership…in persuasion.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2020.

Servant leaders receive God’s grace as we saw in the previous issue. They acknowledge their need of grace and begin their journey with Jesus. That journey requires learning to live by grace. As Paul reminds us:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:8-10).

As leaders receive God’s grace, they begin the journey of learning to live by grace. They acknowledge that works will not save them, but they are created “to do good works.”

Leaders grow to understand the specific call God has given them to lead those who follow, and they get busy with the tasks at hand. But they must learn to live this journey by grace. How do servant leaders allow grace to shape themselves before they seek to lead others?

Servant leaders allow grace to shape their identity.

Servant leaders find their identity in what God has done for them, not what they have done for Him! They learn to live with the reality that “it is by grace you have been saved.” They lead and serve because of grace, not to get grace! This makes all the difference in the outlook of a leader. It is not position, titles, or possessions that shape our identity, rather it is God’s grace upon our lives. Servant leaders find their identity in God’s grace.

Servant leaders allow grace to shape their service.

Leaders who live by grace acknowledge that they are “created to do good works.” Leaders work hard. But servant leaders allow grace to shape their service. Servant leaders learn that their service to Jesus is a response to His grace rather than a sense of guilt, fear or duty! They live and serve with grace. As Paul gives instruction to a young leader, Titus, he says, For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age (Titus 2:11-12).

The things servant leaders say “yes” to and the things they say “no” to are shaped by God’s grace. They do not serve with a sense of guilt or duty; they serve in response to God’s grace. Servant leaders view their work as an overflow of God’s grace in their lives, not that which attracts God’s grace. Servant leaders serve God wholeheartedly, not because of guilt or duty, but because they love Him and what He has done in their lives.

Servant leaders allow grace to shape their calling.

Paul reminds leaders that their calling is to do that “which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The call of a servant leader flows out of God’s grace, not out of their own desires to change the world. The vision of the servant leader is an acknowledgement of God’s call, not the cry of a power-hungry person.

Living by grace profoundly shapes the way we lead. Servant leaders first learn to live in God’s grace before trying to gain influence with others. They settle the issues of their identity and calling as they reflect on God’s grace. They don’t base their worth on their accomplishments, but on God’s grace. This allows them to step into their leadership role with confidence but a deep humility and awareness of God’s grace in their lives.

Servant leaders lead with grace by first learning to live in God’s grace.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• On what do I base my identity? Is it based primarily on what I do or accomplish as a leader? Or is it based simply on what God has done in my life by His grace?
• What guides me in saying “yes” or “no” to temptations? Are my decisions a response to God’s grace, or a desire to look good to others? When I struggle with a sin, do I try to work harder to overcome it or do I look at God’s grace until my heart is changed in how I see my sin?
• As I carry out my leadership vision, am I continuously aware that this is what God “prepared in advance for me to do”? Or do I believe that I have developed my abilities to influence at this level?    

When we are angry, we usually open our mouths! And what comes out is not usually very loving, especially when we have been deeply hurt. Paul challenges us to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). This is a difficult challenge when we are angry. But Paul goes on to make it very clear that love “is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). When I am angered easily, it indicates that I’m not practicing love, no matter what I say with my mouth!

Imagine that a close friend betrays your confidence. You shared a personal prayer request and later discovered that your friend had told others! What will you say? Servant leaders learn from Paul to speak truth but without being easily angered.

Speaking the truth without anger requires balance.

When you see your friend, you might explode and say loudly, “I can’t believe you told others what I shared with you; that was so wrong. I’ll never talk to you again!” Did you speak the truth? Yes, but with a lot of anger!

Or you might be so angry at your friend that you decide never to trust them again but choose not to speak about what happened. So, you keep quiet and fail to speak the truth!

Paul calls us to balance truth and love. We should speak the truth but not with anger. We cannot ignore what happened, but we should only speak when we are not consumed with anger. We may need to acknowledge our anger but find a way to speak with gentleness. Perhaps you can say, “What you did really hurt me, and I was very angry about it. God helped me to forgive you, but I would like to talk about what happened so that it does not destroy our friendship.” This is truth spoken with love!

Speaking the truth without anger reveals maturity.

How easily am I angered? That’s a test of my maturity. Immature leaders quickly become angry. If I am quick to become angry, I need the Spirit to keep working in me to produce patience and gentleness in my heart. Then I need to think about what I say when I’m angry. Being able to balance truth and gentleness is also a test of maturity. It is much easier to explode in anger than to speak the truth gently in love!

To speak with love and without anger when we have been hurt is a sign of maturity which often takes a long time. That’s why Paul says that as we learn to speak the truth in love we will, “grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

Servant leaders learn that sometimes the best thing to do is to stop and let God help them control their anger before they say anything. But then, when their anger is controlled, they seek courage from God to address the issue truthfully in the right spirit. Mature servant leaders are able to speak truth without being easily angered.

Speaking the truth without anger reflects Jesus.

Jesus’ life shows us that it is not always wrong to be angry. He was angry when others were mistreated, when His Father’s house was misused and when peoples’ hearts were stubborn. But he was not ‘easily angered’ and did not react to personal insults or betrayal.

Even when Jesus knew that Peter would betray Him, He calmly spoke the truth with no hint of anger. Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me” (Luke 22:34).Later, after Peter denied Him,Jesus simply looked at Peter. We don’t know what Jesus ‘said’ with His eyes but it must not have been a look of anger since His look caused the bold Peter to weep tears of grief and repentance. (See Luke 22:61).

Jesus spoke truth without being easily angered and He calls all servant leaders to follow His example.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” with anger or to keep quiet when I’m angry and avoid the truth? What is the result in my leadership? 
• When have I spoken truth, but with anger? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Do I need to ask forgiveness of that person?
• What times in Jesus’ life and ministry reveal that Jesus was not “easily angered”? How would I have responded to these situations?
• Look at the following passages in which Jesus was angry or spoke very strong words: Mark 3:1-5; Matthew 23:1-4; John 2:13-22. Reflect on what happened in these situations. What can we learn about the things He was angry about? How did He speak truth in these situations? What can we learn from His example?
• Reflect on what James teaches about anger in James 1:19-20, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” What does this teach us about speaking the truth without being easily angered?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Every leader has moments when the natural response is to take revenge and see someone else suffer. David certainly had these times in his life as he experienced opposition from many different places. Psalm 109 records one of these situations.  

¹My God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, ²for people who are wicked and deceitful have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. ³With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. ⁴In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. ⁵They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. ⁶Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy; let an accuser stand at his right hand.  When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. ⁸May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. ⁹May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. ¹⁰May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. ¹¹May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor…. ²⁷Let them know that it is your hand, that you, LORD, have done it. ²⁸While they curse, may you bless; may those who attack me be put to shame, but may your servant rejoice. ²⁹May my accusers be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak. ³⁰With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng of worshippers I will praise him. ³¹For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them (Psalm 109:1-11; 27-31).

Vengeance should be recognized. David recognizes what he is feeling. He wants revenge! He wants those who oppose him to suffer! Vengeance is a strong emotion that stirs up intense feelings.

Many leaders would prefer not to acknowledge these kinds of feelings since they seem so wrong. But servant leaders learn to recognize vengeance. They acknowledge that it is better to recognize vengeance than to pretend it does not exist.

Vengeance should be revealed. David recognizes his emotion and writes it down for all of us to see! (There is more revealed if you take time to read the entire chapter!) Although David is a “leader after God’s own heart,” he is secure enough to be honest with what he feels and to share this with everyone.

Many Christian leaders find this emotion difficult to reveal since it seems so negative and so unlike Christ. What will others think about me if I reveal what I am feeling? Yet, until vengeance is revealed it cannot be redeemed. Servant leaders learn to reveal vengeance knowing that as they do, God will be able to direct them to deal with it in an appropriate way.

Vengeance should be restrained. While David revealed his desire for vengeance on his enemies, he fortunately did not act on his feelings! Instead, he goes to worship with others. As he worships, David understands that it is God who will “save their lives from those who would condemn them.”

Servant leaders learn to restrain their vengeance. They don’t allow their leadership position to become a place to attack their enemies. They learn to join with others in worship and turn their desire for revenge over to God. He is the only one that can save us from those who condemn us as He also saves us from the poison of revenge in our own hearts.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• When is the last time I was hurt and really wanted revenge? What situation produced this emotion? Did I acknowledge and reveal my emotion or pretend it wasn’t there? Did I take it to God and ask Him to deliver me from the poison of revenge in my own heart?
• Reflect on Romans 12:17-21. What does it mean to “leave room for God’s wrath”? How can God change my heart so that I am able to bless my enemy? 
• Is it possible for our desire for vengeance to be in line with God’s judgement of wickedness? How do we know when our hearts and His are aligned?       

All servant leaders can learn to lead with joy from David’s instruction.

Joy should be recognized. David recognized his joy and invited others to join him with singing! The emotion of joy is easier to recognize since it is not usually considered a ‘negative’ or bad emotion. Most people do not struggle to know that they are feeling good!

But David helps servant leaders understand that joy is more than having a good day. He recognizes that joy does not come because of outward circumstances but from a conscious decision to focus on God’s goodness. He says, “In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.” This helps servant leaders recognize that joy can be experienced in any stage of the journey, even in the midst of other conflicting emotions.

Servant leaders learn to experience joy by focusing on God’s goodness in their lives and leadership.

Joy should be revealed. David’s instruction is for everyone to sing and “shout for joy.” Joy is to be expressed, not hidden! Some personalities have no trouble revealing their joy, it is part of their expressive nature. But other personalities are so restrained that even when they are joyful, no one else knows about it!

David invites all leaders to reveal their joy in singing! Songs of praise reveal joy and servant leaders express their joy with singing. But singing also produces joy. So when servant leaders need more joy they also sing!

Servant leaders learn to stop and celebrate, expressing joy and inviting others to join them. Like David, they lead by calling people to sing with joy.

Joy should be restrained. In the midst of David’s expressions of joy he acknowledged that he was waiting on the Lord and requested God to bless them with His “unfailing love.” His expression of joy did not mean denial of the needs which were also present. He did not allow his emotion to overlook reality. Some leaders focus so much on being positive that they do not admit realities.

David showed restraint. Servant leaders recognize the need for self-control in how they allow emotions to impact their leadership. They learn to be vulnerable and express emotions like joy. This allows them to be fully human as they lead, and emotion influences their leadership. But they don’t allow their emotion to control their leadership. They learn to balance feeling and thinking. Before making a decision, they seek to acknowledge their emotions, but they also separate facts from feelings.

Servant leaders are also able to restrain their own joy in order to connect with the emotion of those who are hurting. Servant leaders are aware of and sensitive to the needs of others around them, especially those who may be going through pain or struggle. This may call for some restraint in how they express their joy. But they also serve those who hurt by appropriately expressing their joy and inviting others to sing even in their pain. Gently, by their example of expression and restraint, they invite others to experience joy that is greater than the challenges of life.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Read David’s entire chapter, Psalm 33. What additional insights does this give me on the emotion of joy?
• If I am not experiencing joy, is it because I am focused on my circumstances instead of God’s goodness? How can I learn from this Psalm to change my focus?
• Do I easily express my joy or do I find it difficult to reveal this emotion?
• Am I aware of and sensitive to the needs of those I lead who are experiencing pain? Am I most likely to ignore their pain and keep rejoicing, or to silence my own joy?
• If I lead in an environment where singing is not an appropriate or accepted expression of joy, how can I invite the people to express joy?

First, consider David’s emotion when his own son, Absalom, turned against him and he was fleeing for his life. ⁷ Arise, Lord! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. ⁸ From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people (Psalm 3:7-8).

David didn’t walk calmly out of Jerusalem; he was angry! All leaders will experience the emotion of anger and David gives an example to servant leaders of how to lead with anger.

Anger should be recognized. It is not difficult to recognize that David is angry; he makes no attempt to hide his feelings. After a lifetime of seeking to serve God as a leader, he was running away from a son. His anger was real. If he was leading today he might say, “God, punch my enemies in the face, knock their teeth out!” Servant leaders learn to recognize their anger. They realize that anger is an emotion that we all experience. The emotion itself can be good or bad. Often we are angry because we feel hurt or wronged. Repentance is the appropriate response. At other times, leaders may be angry because of injustice or sin. In this case, anger reflects God’s heart and should lead us to obedient action.

Many leaders try to hide their anger, especially those who, like me, have believed that the emotion itself is a sin. They may call it something else that seems less sinful. They might admit that they are “annoyed” or “upset” but the truth is that they are angry! When anger is not recognized, it cannot be handled appropriately. Recognition of anger is not sin; denial is!

Anger should be revealed. David revealed his anger, and recorded it so that we can still examine it thousands of years later! Thankfully, David did not try to hide his emotion as many leaders do. There are many ways to reveal anger—some are healthy and many are unhealthy! Anger is often revealed openly in violent outbursts with harsh words that destroy relationships. Most leaders recognize that this is not helpful. So, many leaders seek to suppress the explosion and instead resort to clenched jaws and tightened muscles which no one can see. They believe that because the emotion is not visible, it is under control.

But servant leaders learn to reveal anger as David did. They are able to say it first to themselves, and when helpful to others, “I am angry!” As they reveal their emotion in healthy ways, followers learn to trust them as authentic leaders with feelings. Appropriate expression of emotion also improves the leader’s own emotional health.

Anger should be restrained. David recognized his anger and revealed it for all of us to see. But he did not allow anger to control his leadership; he restrained his emotion. David turns from his anger to a focus on God. He wanted personal revenge on his enemies but realized that deliverance would come “from the LORD.” And he finishes this psalm with a request for God to bless His people! In one verse he goes from anger to blessing!

Servant leaders learn to restrain their anger. When their anger is wrong, they cry out to God for a change of heart, with a goal to be “slow to become angry” (James 1:19). They ask forgiveness from those they have offended and model how to admit sin.

When anger is the appropriate response to a situation, servant leaders channel the anger into action to address the issue and invite others to join them in the cause. They lead as humans who have anger as an emotion, but do not allow their leadership to become emotional.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Am I aware of when I am angry, or do I deny it? Do others ever say to me, “You are angry,” but I deny it? What might they be able to see in me that I cannot see? What happens in my physical body when I am angry?
• How do I usually reveal my anger? (An angry explosion, tears, withdrawal, silence, etc.) In what ways is my response godly and in what ways is it sinful?
• Am I quick to repent and ask forgiveness from God and others when I am angry for the wrong things or express anger in hurtful ways? Is there anyone I need to go to and ask forgiveness?
• Are there things which God wants me to be angry about which I have not allowed myself to feel? What might He want me to do about them as a leader?
• Write a personal ‘psalm’ to God, expressing anger honestly. Make sure you end it with a note of praise.
• For further study on anger consider these verses and reflect on what you learn. Cautions against anger: Psalm 37:8; Proverbs 14:17; 16:32; 22:24; Ecclesiastics 7:9; Titus 1:7; James 1:19. Examples of God’s anger: Numbers 25:3, Joshua 7:1; Psalm 7:11. Examples of “good” anger: Exodus 32:19; Nehemiah 5:6; Leviticus 10:16; 1 Samuel 11:16; Matthew 21:12. Other “angry” Psalms: 35, 37, 69:22-29, 79:1-13, 109, 137.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.