Healthy leaders pay attention to their heart, the seat of their emotions. In the previous issue we recognized the power of our heart to direct our lives and the difficulty in understanding it. David acknowledged his desire to have an undivided heart. He also cried out to God for help in understanding the condition of his heart.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:23).

David’s cry to God to search, know and test his heart was his attempt to gauge the condition of his heart. His cry gives serving leaders insight into how we can begin to understand the condition of our hearts.

The condition of our heart is gauged with vulnerability.   

David’s posture is one of extreme vulnerability. He cries out to God to take a close look into the depths of his own heart and soul, to “search” and “know” and “test” his heart—a risky step but vital step towards understanding his heart.  Already in the first verses of this Psalm, David has already acknowledged that God knows his thoughts and words even before they are expressed. (See Ps. 139:1-6). So, now he is secure enough to invite God to help him understand his own heart. For leaders, vulnerability is not weakness—it is a strength that brings greater self-awareness and cultivates trust with those who follow.

 Some leaders choose to lead without vulnerability. They focus on getting the work done and consider any discussion of emotions as conversation for weak leaders.  But serving leaders recognize that their emotions impact their leadership and the condition of their heart is of primary importance. So, they are willing to be vulnerable with themselves, with God and others. 

The condition of our heart is gauged by searching. 

David’s primary request of God is “Search me…” This implies sustained, intentional attention to his heart. He welcomes God into this space to help him understand the condition of his heart. 

Some leaders prefer not to search their hearts and have no desire to know what is happening deep in their heart.  But serving leaders intentionally search for understanding of their internal world, their heart. They acknowledge that they cannot see their own blind spots and ask God and others for help.

The condition of our heart is gauged by acknowledging emotions.

David asks God to examine his “anxious thoughts.” He acknowledges that he has the emotion of anxiety and invites God to help him find out what it says about his heart. Identifying and acknowledging emotions is not an easy task for leaders. Leaders often notice only a few surface emotions but struggle to identify deeper feelings below the surface. In a meeting they may recognize frustration but not be aware of the anxiety driving it. This has been an area of continued growth for me! I have worked hard in this area and still have much to learn!  I have been helped by using a “feelings wheel”(*) to identify and acknowledge what I am feeling. 

Some leaders prefer not to take the risk of acknowledging their emotions. They may recognize an occasional outburst of emotion when it is evident to all but certainly have no interest in digging deeper to see what is under the surface. But serving leaders want to know and understand what is happening in their hearts. They pause often to reflect on what they are feeling, not simply what they are thinking.

For further reflection and discussion:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how aware am I of my own emotions? How does this impact my leadership?

How often am I vulnerable enough to ask God, or someone close to me, to help me understand what is happening in my emotions? Do I need the help of a counselor or professional to help me in this area?

What causes me anxiety as a leader? Do I notice what issues are on my mind when I wake up in the morning—signs of my subconscious emotions? 

Are there lies I have allowed myself to believe about my emotions? If so, how can I align my thoughts with truth? (For example, many leaders see some emotions as “good” and some as “bad.” Since we want to be good, it is difficult to acknowledge an emotion we have labeled as “bad.” There might be many other falsehoods we have accepted about emotions that are not aligned with scripture.)

What is the difference between healthy awareness of emotion and being emotional as a leader? (Reflect on what it means to be aware of emotion that informs our leadership vs. allowing feelings to determine our words and actions.) Which side do you tend to lead from?

In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Psalm 13:2, 73:21-22; Proverbs 21:2, 29:11; Jeremiah 17:9-10; Matthew 26:37-38; Mark 3:5; Luke 19:41-44; John 11:33-35; and Philippians 4:7    How do these verses deepen my understanding about the condition of my heart?      

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how to guard the direction of our heart.

*Many versions of “feelings wheel” can be found online, a sample is here.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

Most leadership writing is action focused, which is natural since leaders value results. Yet, the Bible focuses more on matters of the heart, mentioning our heart more than 500 times, certainly an indication of how significant our heart is. While the biblical view of the heart encompasses the mind, will and emotions, in this series we will focus primarily on the element of emotions, our feelings, and how our heart impacts our leadership. The verses below help us understand the significance of the heart and why it is worth our careful attention. 

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name” (Ps. 86:11).

 These verses help us grasp the significance of our hearts.

Our heart is directive.   

The writer of Proverbs says clearly that everything we do flows from our heart. Our heart determines our direction and influences our actions. Our heart directs what we say and do. Often, our actions are guided by emotions hidden deep in our heart. This is why when Samuel was choosing a king God told him “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7b). God was looking much deeper than what showed on the outside; He looked into the heart.

Some leaders seek to change their behavior and do what is right without examining their hearts. But serving leaders seek to understand the feelings in their hearts that are shaping their behavior.

Our heart is difficult.   

Jeremiah asks, “Who can understand the heart?” It is “deceitful” and therefore difficult to understand. We will not easily know what is happening in our hearts. Our emotions, motives, and intentions are often hidden even from our own awareness. It is not easy for leaders to acknowledge the difficulty of knowing their own heart. Followers expect action and results and leaders tend to focus on the externals rather than doing the hard work of examining their own heart. Even those who attempt to understand their hearts encounter the truth of Jeremiah and recognize that their own heart can deceive them.

Some leaders arrogantly assume that they know themselves quite well and don’t question their own hearts. But serving leaders embrace the challenge of understanding their own hearts.  

Our heart is divided.

David, the leader known as “the man after God’s own heart”, cries out to God for an “undivided” heart! He is acknowledging the reality that despite our best intentions and our honest internal work, our hearts remain divided. We have mixed motives. There is a disconnect between what we think and what we feel and we are often unaware of the feelings that lie below our actions.

Some leaders ignore the warning signs of a divided heart. They plunge ahead with more good actions and seek to improve their behavior with no regard for the emotions in their hearts.  But serving leaders recognize the reality of a divided heart and cry out to God for an undivided heart before acting.

For further reflection and discussion:

• In my own leadership how aware am I of how significant my heart/emotions are? In what way does my awareness, or lack of awareness, impact my leadership?
• What is a recent leadership action that I knew was not the best? What emotion was in my heart that led to that behavior? Was there a need that I had underneath that emotion? Did I seek to identify the feeling that led to the behavior or simply to change the behavior?
• How fully have I accepted the reality that my heart is deceitful? What impact does this have on how I lead?
• In what ways is my own heart divided? (Reflect on a recent leadership decision. What were my thoughts and what were my feelings? Was there alignment between my feelings and thoughts or were they divided? Did feelings or thoughts most shape my action?)  
• In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Proverbs 23:7, 27:19; Jeremiah 17:10; Matthew 15:18-19; and Luke 6:45. How do these verses deepen my understanding about the value of the heart?    

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how to gauge the condition of our heart.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

Timothy was a young man, eager to save the world as he joined his mentor, Paul. But along the way he learned that leadership is not all about action. Leadership certainly involves the actions leaders take as well as the heart and motives underneath the actions. But leadership also includes the mind, thinking, pondering, and reflecting. These are things that Timothy would learn on his own journey. Consider these instructions Paul gave Timothy.  

Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this (2 Timothy 2:7, NIV).  

But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:5 (NIV)  

Paul calls Timothy to “reflect” and to “keep your head.” Timothy needed to learn how to think as a leader, spending time learning the importance of reflection and thought. His example teaches serving leaders to understand the power and practice of reflection.  

Reflection releases insight.    

Paul tells Timothy that reflection will produce insight. Paul could have simply told Timothy the insight, but he wanted Timothy to develop the capacity to reflect and gain his own insight! The muscle of reflection needed to be exercised for Timothy to gain insight.  Reflection takes a leader out of the immediate tasks and allows thought on the bigger picture. Reflection allows a leader to gain insight that helps them lead. This insight may be a needed change of direction or a clearer focus on current priorities. It may be a greater self-awareness as the leader reflects on their own leadership actions and how their leadership impacts others. The insight might be a new thought that helps solve a perplexing challenge.  The insights gained ultimately benefit the entire organization and in this regard reflection is one of the greatest gifts a leader can give to those they lead. 

Many leaders lead with little insight! Others seek insight from many places, perhaps good sources, but which are still shortcuts to the discipline of reflection. But serving leaders gain insight as they take time to step away and reflect. They don’t think they’re leading unless they’re thinking!  

Reflection results in stability. 

Paul calls Timothy to “keep your head in all situations.” He is urging Timothy to be a stable leader one who would not rush in many directions at the same time or change course at the slightest obstacle. He needed to keep his head straight! Reflection brings stability to leadership. Leaders who don’t stop to reflect often change course erratically with little thought to how it impacts those they are leading. They learn that leading only with action often produces a reaction! But serving leaders stop and reflect, then lead from a position of calmness and stability.  

Reflection requires time.  

Reflection has great benefits but is a discipline that requires time. Reflection requires a pause, stepping back from normal activities and thinking deeply and pondering.  Reflection cannot be rushed or squeezed into the margins of our day. This is a challenge for leaders with the many demands on their time. There are pressing tasks that need to be done, objectives that must be met, people to see and places to go! In this environment it is hard to stop and reflect. It may seem to be a waste of time. So, the discipline of reflection, like all leadership disciplines, must be intentional and planned in the calendar.    

Many leaders don’t take time to stop working to think and reflect. They press on with the work they are doing with no time to reflect on the work. But serving leaders understand that the benefits of reflection outweigh the costs and they build time for reflection in their leadership rhythms.  

For further reflection and discussion: 

• How can I develop the discipline of reflection in my own life? Do I have time in my daily, weekly, quarterly, and annual rhythms to pause and reflect? How can I improve my reflection time?  
• Reflect on those you lead. What can I do to encourage them to develop their own ability to reflect?  Do I invite them to reflect for insight as Paul did to Timothy, or do I too quickly share my own insight with them? How would they answer this question?       
• Would others describe my leadership as “stable” or “inconsistent” and what impact does that have on my leadership?   

• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 1 Timothy 4:2,15–16, 2 Timothy 1:13-14. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy learned to reflect on the instructions Paul gave him?   

(In this series we are looking at the life of Timothy. If you haven’t already, this is a great time to read through the two books in the Bible with his name, written to him by Paul. As you read, reflect on what Timothy did to grow as a leader and how his actions apply to your own growth.)   

Until next time, yours on the journey, 

Jon Byler 

In the next issue, we’ll look at things Timothy learned to leave behind.  

Serving leaders give conscious thought to who they follow. They also reflect on what the following verses mean for those they lead.

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV).

Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. (Philippians 3:17, NIV)

Paul is first a follower, but he quickly calls others to follow his example. He wants others to choose well those they follow. Serving leaders ask those they lead, “Who are you following?” so that their followers also grow in their ability to follow well.

Serving leaders ask, “Who are you following?” to elevate awareness.

Paul makes it clear that we will follow someone and encourages his readers to make good choices. He knows that many people give no conscious thought to who they follow. They may follow those they hear their friends talking about. They may look at social media, the music world or sports and assume that the most popular people are the best to follow. Without thinking they are being influenced by those they follow. Serving leaders ask those they lead to give conscious thought to this choice when they ask, “Who are you following?” With conscious awareness a follower can begin to make better choices about who they follow.  

Serving leaders ask, “Who are you following?” to encourage focus.

Paul encourages those who follow to “keep your eyes on those….” He desires for his followers to have clear focus. He understands that our thoughts follow our eyes, our actions follow our thoughts, and our habits follow our actions. Serving leaders encourage those who follow to keep a correct focus by asking, “Who are you following?” Serving leaders look for opportunities to elevate those who serve as good role models in the organizations they serve. They look for “those who live as we do” and when they find these people, they encourage others to focus on them. While a serving leader cannot determine where a follower will focus, they can share use meetings or other times to share examples of those who are good models.  

Serving leaders ask, “Who are you following?” to evaluate community.

Paul calls his followers to “Join together in following…” He sees a clear link between our ability to follow well and those who are around us. He believes in the power of community to shape our focus. Every leader needs a community of those who will encourage and challenge them to live well. There is power in following together, not in a clique or an elitist circle, but in groups of others who share similar values and vision. Followers need the same community and serving leaders are willing to ask them not only who they are following but to help them think about who they choose around them as they follow.

The serving leader listens well to the responses to these questions to better understand the person and better know how to serve them. And like Paul, the serving leader is not uncomfortable to call others to follow them since they also follow well!

For further reflection and discussion:

• What person(s) should I ask, “Who are you following?” and when will I do this?
• After talking with them reflect on the following questions to evaluate what you heard.
  • What did I learn about those I lead?
  • What surprised me in these conversations?
  • How should their responses change the way I lead them? When will I take this action?
  • What steps can I take to encourage them to follow well?
  • Am I comfortable to offer myself as a model to others? What impact does this have on my leadership?    

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at a question serving leaders ask themselves: “What am I doing to finish well?”

Leaders work hard and they make things happen. They are people of action! But effective leaders also recognize that thinking about their work is a part of their work. They realize that what they think impacts what they do. Paul challenges leaders to pay attention to the focus of their thinking.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8, NIV).

 Paul instructs us to “think about such things.” Serving leaders ask themselves “What am I thinking?” for several reasons.

Serving leaders ask, “What am I thinking?” to ensure thinking time.

Paul calls for thinking about our thinking! He wants to make sure that we take some time to think. While thinking does not look like an active exercise, serving leaders recognize that thinking time is not unproductive, wasted time. Leaders need to stop and think. They need to step back and gain perspective. They need to reflect on the past, evaluate the present and envision the future. They ask themselves first, “Am I thinking?” “Do I have time scheduled that allows me to focus on thinking?” Serving leaders recognize that serving does not always mean engaging in the work. They step away from the work to think about the work.

Serving leaders ask, “What am I thinking?” to focus thinking time.

Paul calls us to think on “these things.” He provides a list of things that are “excellent and praiseworthy” to think about. Thinking time is helpful, but if the focus of the time is in the wrong direction, it will not be profitable. Not all thinking time is equal. There are some areas in which the serving leader can focus his/her thoughts that will bring greater return to the organization. These may involve planning for the future, reflecting on ways to more effectively delegate tasks and responsibilities, reflecting on the context in which he/she leads and how changes in the context impact the direction of the organization, thinking about ways to greater leverage strengths, etc. Serving leaders focus their thinking on things that bring positive results.

Serving leaders ask, “What am I thinking?” to explain their thinking time.

Serving leaders think about their thinking so that they can explain to others what they are thinking. They serve those they lead by sharing with them the things about which they are thinking. They deliberately share what they are thinking and why they are thinking. All who hear what the leader is thinking benefit from better understanding the heart and mind of the leader and the direction he/she is moving.  They also learn how leaders think which raises their own thinking capacity. Some who listen will sharpen the leaders’ thinking and bring additional ideas that improve the thinking process. Others in the organization need to know what the leader is thinking so that they can help carry out the needed actions. Serving leaders not only think; they serve their teams by sharing what they are thinking.

Take a minute to think about these things!

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I have time to think? What do I need to do to ensure that there is some thinking time in my calendar? What time of the day do I do my best thinking?   What location is most conducive to productive thinking?
• When I think, where is the focus of my thoughts? Do I tend to think about positive or negative things? Do I focus on strengths or weaknesses? What impact does this have on my leadership? What do I need to strengthen and when will I do it?
• How well and how often do I explain to others what I am thinking? Do I encourage others to sharpen my thoughts and bring their own ideas to the process?  Do those I expect to implement my ideas fully understand what I’m thinking and why it matters? Am I helping those around me grow in their own thinking capacity?  

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine the related question serving leaders ask others: “What are you thinking?”

Leaders with a vision are always conscious of their need for resources to accomplish the vision. These resources may be finances, people, skills, or knowledge or other things. Leaders often begin the search for these resources outside themselves and begin to look around to meet the needs at hand. But serving leaders learn from the question God asked Moses, “What is that in your hand?”

² Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. ³ The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. ⁴ Then the Lord said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. ⁵ “This,” said the Lord, “is so that they may believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you” (Exodus 4:2–5, NIV).

This exchange between God and Moses holds many insights for serving leaders and they do well to ask themselves the question, “What is in my hand?”

Serving leaders ask “What is in my hand?“ to discover resources.

Moses had a staff in his hand. It was an ordinary object that Moses walked with every day, but he did not even notice what it was. He may have assumed that everyone had a similar staff. But God asked him to notice what he had.

Serving leaders learn to ask themselves what they have at hand when they face a challenge or have a need. What experience do I bring to this situation? What resources do I have? Who do I know that could help? All of these questions allow resources to be discovered that might have been unnoticed. God took what Moses offered and used it to perform miracles.  Before looking beyond themselves for resources, serving leaders take a new look at what they already have. And as they offer these ordinary resources to God they find that they have enough!

Serving leaders ask “What is in my hand?“ to develop competence.

When the staff turned into a snake, Moses’ immediate response was to run away. But God asked him to pick the snake up, something Moses never dreamed he would be able to do. God wanted him to develop a new level of confidence and conquer his fear. Serving leaders ask “What is in my hand?” to stretch themselves to take on new tasks or responsibilities that they felt unprepared to do.

Serving leaders ask “What is in my hand?“ to diminish dependance.

Moses did not feel adequate for the task he was called to do. He felt that he was just a shepherd in the dessert with little to offer. He could have imagined that he needed much more than what was in his hand to lead. He saw himself as a person in need of a handout instead of having something to hand out. This sense of dependency cripples many leaders. But serving leaders look inward first. Before they ask “What do I need from you?” they ask “What’s in my hand that I can offer you?”  

For further reflection and discussion:

• Take 30 minutes to reflect on what is in your hand and write down your observations. What training, life experiences, financial resources, education, professional opportunities, etc. do you carry in your hand? What surprises you on your list that you did not previously see as a resource?
• What current situation seems challenging to me in my leadership? Reflect on what you have learned from Moses to apply to your own challenge. Are there things I have in my hand that could be used creatively to meet this challenge? Are there things I have previously experienced that can help me navigate this situation? Are there ways that God is inviting me to face my fears and develop competence in new areas?
• Do I tend to see myself as a person in need or a person who can help those in need? What impact does this have on my leadership?         

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at the same question serving leaders ask others, “What’s in Your Hand?”  

Serving leaders ask themselves hard questions about who they are becoming. As they gain clarity and direction about their focus, they also serve those they lead by encouraging them to walk the same journey of discovery. They desire that Paul’s instructions are helpful not only for their own lives but also for those they serve. “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV).

Serving leaders seek to call forth the best in those who follow. They desire the transformation indicated in this verse. And they are not afraid to ask probing questions that will guide others on their leadership journey. They recognize that asking questions rather than giving answers allows those they lead to grow and develop their own capacity to think and to reflect. So They serve by asking those who follow, “Who are you becoming?” Where helpful they are willing to offer their own observations but are willing to simply lay the question before the person and allow them to reflect. Serving leaders acknowledge that this question is a deep question for one’s soul and not a means of doing a performance assessment! As they gently ask this question of those who follow, they examine their motives to ensure that their only desire is genuine care for the other person and a desire to see them grow. They refuse to ask this question as an underhanded way to address visible problems. They serve in love by respecting the level of openness the person offers in response. As they invite others to ponder this question, they ask it with several purposes in their mind.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to reveal direction.

Where appropriate serving leaders may invite those who follow to reflect on their own growth journey by asking, “Are you becoming the spouse/parent/community leader/worker you want to become? Are there ways I can help you move in the direction you want to go? Are there any roadblocks I can remove from your path?” Serving leaders recognize that those who follow them are changing and moving either consciously or unconsciously. They raise the question to bring awareness to their followers of the direction in which they are moving. The question recognizes the uniqueness of each individual and is less concerned about the position on the journey than the direction of the journey.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to redirect focus.

Serving leaders know their own tendency to lose the correct focus, so they can gently ask those who follow, “Who is influencing you the most? Where do you go for ideas and inspiration? Is this taking you in the direction you want to go?” The question serves as a reminder to the follower that focus is critical in determining direction.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to release transformation.

The goal of the serving leader is to equip, empower and release the persons who follow. They desire the best for their lives, not only in the role in which they serve the organization but in their entire lives. They serve those who follow by helping them become the people that they were designed to be. So, they ask, “Who are you becoming?” to encourage them to experience the power of transformation in their own lives.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I have enough love and concern for those I lead to ask them “Who are you becoming?” If not, what does this indicate about my heart and what do I need to change? If so, when will I begin to ask them this question?
• Before I ask anyone the question “Who are you becoming?” do I have any hidden motives about why I will ask them this question? Is my desire to help them genuine and does it go beyond my concern for their work performance?
• Am I willing to simply ask the question of others and not demand a response from them? Am I willing to offer my own observations only if requested by that person?               

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at a question serving leaders ask themselves:  “What is in my hand?”

Serving leaders use questions to probe their own leadership journey and to encourage those who follow to do the same. The posture of asking questions helps keep serving leaders aware that they don’t have all the answers and that they are also on their own leadership journey. They ask “Who am I?” to establish their identity as we saw in the previous issue. Then they ask themselves, “Who am I becoming?” to assess their direction. They reflect on Paul’s words to the Corinthian believers, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV). Serving leaders desire to move in the direction of “ever-increasing glory” and stop to reflect on what this means for their own life and leadership.  

Serving leaders ask “Who am I becoming?“ to assess direction.    

Leaders are all moving on a journey, and set tangible goals to measure their progress towards success. They focus on the vision and outcomes with little thought about themselves as persons.  Leaders are moving, usually fast! But serving leaders slow down long enough to ask if they are moving in the right direction. They “are being transformed” and learn to ask themselves who they are becoming. They courageously ask themselves, “Am I becoming more loving? More generous? More compassionate? More sensitive? More truthful? Compared to a year ago, what changes do I see in my life?” These questions serve as signposts for the direction of the leaders’ journey and serving leaders ask themselves these questions to confirm they are moving in the right direction.  

Serving leaders ask “Who am I becoming?“ to assure focus.  Paul reminds us to “contemplate the Lord’s glory…” This is an issue of our focus. Serving leaders ask themselves about the focus of their journey. They are not afraid to ask, “Am I becoming a person more influenced by social media, professional journals, newspapers or Jesus? How does this impact my life and leadership? Am I increasingly turning my heart towards Him and seeking answers from Him about my leadership challenges?” Serving leaders ask hard questions to ensure that their focus is in the right direction.  

Serving leaders ask “Who am I becoming?“ to accelerate transformation.  Paul indicates that our transformation should be with “ever-increasing glory.” Serving leaders pause to reflect on who they are becoming so that their growth will be accelerated. They assess their direction and focus and where needed, make corrections and adjustments. By asking the question of themselves, serving leaders accelerate their own growth. Where needed they set personal growth goals which will be the focus of a future issue in this series.   

Serving leaders learn to ask themselves the question “Who am I becoming?” at least periodically. They set aside some time to think through their responses and often find it helpful to step aside from their normal routines for this reflective question. Put a date and time in your schedule that you will begin to ponder this question.  

For further reflection and discussion: 

• As I look at my life in the past year, what changes have I made in who I am? Am I moving in the direction that I need to go? How would I finish this sentence, “Since last year I am becoming more …..? What would my spouse or a close friend say about who I am becoming?   
• Where is my focus? To what sources do I look for inspiration, guidance, ideas and wisdom? Am I becoming a person more focused on Jesus or other sources? What does my calendar indicate about my focus? What changes do I need to make?     
• How can my personal transformation be accelerated? Based on my answers to the previous questions, what changes do I need to make in my life? With whom do I need to share these things?  

Until next time, yours on the journey, 

Jon Byler 

In the next issue, we’ll examine the same question serving leaders ask of others, “Who are you becoming?”  

Serving leaders first ask themselves, “Who am I?” But then they take a look at those who follow them and ask a related question, “Who are you?” Serving leaders love those who follow and they desire for their followers the same that they desire for themselves. They invite their followers to also learn about their identity, their strengths and their weaknesses. They invite their followers to also consider Paul’s instruction: “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you” (Romans 12:3, NIV). Serving leaders help their followers to think of themselves with “sober judgement” by asking “Who are you?”  

Serving leaders ask “Who are you?“ to establish identity.  

Serving leaders do not identify their followers only by their role. They acknowledge that each person is unique with an identity beyond what they do. They seek to learn to know each person they lead deeply. They become students of those they lead. With a genuine desire to know they ask, “Who are you?” Beyond questions related to their work, serving leaders often ask questions like, “What makes you laugh? What makes you cry? When do you feel most fully alive?” Serving leaders also want their followers to understand themselves. They ask their followers “Who are you?” to encourage reflection on their own identity.   

Serving leaders ask “Who are you?“ to express strengths.  

Serving leaders recognize that each of their followers have unique gifts that God has given to them. They ask, “Who are you?” to identify those strengths. They are not afraid to ask, “What do you most love to do when you are here? What gives you the most energy? What more would you love to do?” Serving leaders are willing to invest time and energy to identify the greatest strengths of those they lead because they genuinely care about the person. When needed and when possible, they are willing to shift a person’s responsibilities to best fit their strengths.  They focus on the strengths of those they lead and seek to maximize the potential that they see in each person.    

Serving leaders ask “Who are you?“  to expose weaknesses.  

Serving leaders also ask, “Who are you?” to expose the weaknesses in those they lead. As they know for themselves, no one can be strong in every area. Serving leaders don’t expose weaknesses of others to demean or discourage. Instead, they help followers understand their own weaknesses to build a strong team. By recognizing an area of weakness, a follower will be willing to pass off a task to another person on the team gifted in that area. So, serving leaders ask their followers “What parts of your work are not life giving to you? Which elements of your job could be done better by another member of our team?” They listen carefully to the answers and serve by helping the follower to discover ways that others can complement their weaknesses.  

Serving leaders continue the journey of asking the right questions by asking those they serve, “Who are you?” 

For further reflection and discussion: 

•  For these questions, choose one person you lead and answer the questions based on that person.  
• On what does this person base their identity? Do I know them well enough that I understand who they are apart from the role they fulfill?  How can I help this person be more secure in their identity? 
• What are their greatest strengths? How are these expressed in their role? Are there changes I should make to their responsibilities that would allow them to be more closely aligned with their strengths? What potential do I observe in this person and when can I communicate that to them? 
• What are their greatest weaknesses? Have I explored these with the person in a way that does not diminish their strengths? Have I clearly helped them understand that these are opportunities for teamwork?  Are there any changes I should make in their responsibilities to minimize their weaknesses?   

Until next time, yours on the journey, 

Jon Byler 

In the next issue, we’ll examine another question serving leaders ask themselves: Who am I becoming?  

Most leaders see themselves as people with answers but serving leaders are more concerned about asking the right questions than having the right answers. Asking questions helps people think, helps people grow and helps people lead. So, serving leaders grow themselves and others by learning to ask good strategic questions of themselves and of those they lead. In this series we’ll examine questions that serving leaders ask themselves and a corresponding question that they ask those who follow. The first and primary question leaders ask themselves is, “Who am I?” Paul invites this question when he says, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you” (Romans 12:3, NIV). Paul invites all leaders to think of themselves “with sober judgement.” It is not always selfish to think of self. When done with sober judgment one of the ways leaders serve  the people they lead by thinking properly about their identity. Serving leaders ask themselves, “Who am I?” to recognize three components of who they are.  

Serving leaders ask “Who am I?” to establish their identity.

Every leader needs to be grounded in their identity. Paul challenges leaders to reflect on who they are. He does this in the context of a diversity of giftings which God has given to individuals. The temptation for every leader is to identify themselves with their giftings. This can lead to false pride or thinking “of yourself more highly than you ought.” But serving leaders ask themselves, “Who am I?” in order to establish their identity not in what they do, but in who they are. When they ask this question, they avoid comparing themselves to other leaders but focus on who they are. They recognize that God distributes gifts but their identity lies in their relationship with the giver, not the gift.

Serving leaders ask “Who am I?“ to express their strengths.

Paul asks leaders to reflect on the “faith” or gifts that God has given to them. In the context, he is looking at the diversity of gifts that God gives to His people. Serving leaders base their identity on their relationship with God but then ask themselves “Who am I?” to discover and express their strengths. They seek to identify and confirm the gifts God has given them. They are eager to learn about the areas in which they are strong in order to fully maximize their strengths. They acknowledge that they will only flourish in their leadership role when they are utilizing the unique strengths God has given them.

Serving leaders ask “Who am I?“  to expose their weaknesses.

Paul requests that leaders think of themselves with “sober judgement.”  While serving leaders focus on building on their strengths, they also ask “Who am I?” to expose who they are not. They uncover their weaknesses in the journey of self-discovery. As they do so, they do not compare themselves with others who have different gifts. Nor do they seek to become strong in areas in which they are not gifted. Instead, serving leaders allow their weaknesses to move them toward others who complement their strengths. They allow their weaknesses to help them build a well-rounded team.

Start the journey of asking the right questions by asking yourself, “Who am I?”

For further reflection and discussion:

• On what do I base my identity? Is it primarily focused on my gifts and accomplishments or on my relationship with God? What difference does this make in the way I lead?   
• What are my greatest strengths? (List several) Am I tempted to see my strengths as a way to  feel  better than others? If so, how does this impact my leadership? What am I doing to develop my strengths?
• What are my significant weaknesses? (List several) Am I tempted to look down on myself because of these weaknesses or do I acknowledge that I have weaknesses that require me to work with others who can complement me?              

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how serving leaders ask those who follow, “Who are you?”