Most leaders say that their people are valuable.  But serving leaders actually love like Jesus. An intimate relationship with Jesus becomes the foundation of the way they treat their teams, make decisions and build culture. Jesus talked about this dynamic love relationship:

  ⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:9-13, NIV).  

Jesus calls His followers to live and lead with His love.

Intimate leaders experience the love of Jesus.

Jesus encourages His disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.” Jesus experienced the love of the Father, shared that love with His disciples and now urges them to deeply and permanently experience His love. He calls them to “remain” in this intimate relationship with Him. Jesus never intended for us to only know Him in our minds; He wanted us to experience His love in a way that transforms our relationship with Him. This experience with the love of Jesus should come before our attempt to love others.

Some leaders know they should love others and treat them correctly, so they work hard on people skills and the art of influence. But serving leaders cultivate an intimate experience of the love of Jesus before they try to love others. 

Intimate leaders respond to the love of Jesus. 

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love,…I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Jesus understood that genuine love for another produces a desire to please them and to do what they want. So, He immediately links loving Him with obedience. He certainly wants His followers to obey what He calls them to do. But this is not a heavy, burdensome obligation, it is a response to love. He knows that we will be tempted to obey without experiencing His love, so he links obedience with joy—complete joy!

Some leaders seek to obey rules or a moral code but find it legalistic rather than life-giving. But serving leaders have experienced the love of Jesus and from that position respond with joy to His instructions. Their obedience flows from a loving relationship rather than an obligation.

Intimate leaders imitate the love of Jesus.  

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus tells His disciples that the greatest expression of their love will be to lay down their lives for others. This is the essence of serving leadership, giving one’s life in service to others. Jesus expects this result to flow from an intimate experience of His love.

Some leaders seek to serve others because they are convinced it will produce good results. They serve their team to achieve results. They serve with their head. This is commendable but very different from serving leaders who love others in response to the love they have received from Jesus. They reflect Jesus’ love in tangible ways in their workplace. They serve with their heart. 

For further reflection and discussion:

As I reflect on my own leadership regarding how much I love like Jesus, how would I rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10?      What blocks me from loving Him more?

At what level have I experienced the love of Jesus in my own heart and soul?  Does my service for Him flow out of a sense of duty or a response to His love?

Does my obedience result in deep joy in my heart or do I continually wonder if I am doing enough?

Do I approach my daily work with a sense of moral obligations or joyful obedience that flows out of a love relationship with Jesus? How does this impact my leadership? 

Does my service to others flow out of my head or my heart? Is my concern for my team based on universal leadership realities or my intimacy with Jesus?

After reflecting on these questions, read the entire chapter, John 15. What additional insights do I find in this chapter about how my intimacy with Jesus shapes my leadership?  

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how intimate leaders are friends of Jesus.

Timothy was hungry to learn but he also recognized that growth in leadership comes at a cost. He was willing to pay the price that was required to shape him into the strong leader that he would become. Consider these scriptures about his life:

Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek (Acts 16:3, NIV).

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God (2 Timothy 1:7–8).

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

These verses, and many others, hint at the price Timothy needed to pay to be the leader we admire today.

Timothy paid the price of surrendering. 

Before he even left home, Timothy learned that leadership is not about him and his comfort but about being ready and willing to serve others. The pain of circumcision was more than physical, it meant that he was willing to surrender his own comfort for the sake of those he wanted to serve. When people would look down on him because of his youth, he would surrender his desire to fight back and declare his position. Timothy was learning an early lesson that all serving leaders eventually learn—at the heart of serving leadership is a heart attitude of surrender.

Some leaders are not willing to give up their own ambitions, dreams, and ego for the sake of those they serve. But serving leaders pay the price of surrender, not once but daily.

Timothy paid the price of stretching.  

When Timothy agreed to join Paul, it was an exciting new adventure but it was also costly. Traveling to new cities was not all exotic, especially when they were chased out of town with stones! This journey would require Timothy to stretch and grow in ways that would not be comfortable. He had to relocate and leave the comfort of his own home and place of his birth. He would need to stretch his “timid” personality to be a bold leader. He would stretch out of his comfort zone with continual new challenges and greater levels of responsibility as he matured under Paul’s guidance. He would pay the price of learning to receive the correction and counsel that Paul continued to give even as a seasoned leader. He needed to stretch his own character to be a model for others.

Some leaders want responsibility and authority without being willing to pay the price of being stretched in their own growth. But serving leaders accept that leadership is a journey of continual growth and development. Serving leaders focus on stretching themselves before directing others.

Timothy paid the price of suffering.  

Timothy paid the price of physical suffering and was likely jailed at least once. (See Hebrews 13:23). But he also suffered along with Paul as they were persecuted on many occasions. He suffered the isolation of separation from his family, the discomfort of continual moves, and the false accusations others made about him.  Apparently, he also suffered physical ailments. (See 1 Timothy 5:23).

Many leaders step back from leadership when they face suffering and decide to take a less costly path. But serving leaders accept that suffering is a price of leadership and will be used to strengthen their character and make them more effective in serving others.

For further reflection and discussion:

• What price have I already paid to lead? Are there other steps I should take as a leader that have seemed too costly for me to take? What will it take for me to be willing to pay the price?  Who can help me take this step?
• In what way(s) have I surrendered my own ambition, dreams or ego this week? How does this impact my leadership?
• In what way(s) am I currently stretching my leadership capacity? Are any changes needed?
• How do I respond to suffering in my leadership and how does this impact my growth?
• What can I do to help those I lead be willing to pay the price of leadership?      
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following verses: 2 Timothy 2:3, 3:12, and 4:5. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy paid a price for his leadership?    

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how Timothy clarified his calling.

Paul chose Timothy to be a traveling companion and future leader. But even before they left Lystra Paul recognized that some preparation needed to be done before Timothy was ready to travel with the team.  

 Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek (Acts 16:3, NIV).  

Most modern leaders don’t consider circumcision as a part of their leadership development program! But we can learn much from Paul’s example about how serving leaders prepare those chosen to be on their team.  

Serving leaders prepare others by exposing the cost.  

Timothy certainly experienced physical pain in the act of circumcision and at one level that accomplished Paul’s objective. But at a deeper level, Paul was teaching Timothy that leadership involves pain and sacrifice. Before Timothy took the first step on the journey, he needed to count the cost and Paul wanted to make sure Timothy had some “skin in the game.” He was also checking Timothy’s motives. Did Timothy just want an adventure and the trip of a lifetime? Or was he ready to pay the price of leadership? Perhaps Paul had learned a painful lesson from his experience with another young leader, Mark, who went on the first journey. Mark turned back when things got tough. (See Acts 13:5, 13; 15:36-41) In any case, Paul ensured that Timothy understood that leadership is a journey that carries a cost.

Some leaders try to encourage emerging leaders to step into leadership by focusing on the perks of leadership and emphasize the rewards. But serving leaders put the pain on the line and realize that if the new leader won’t cross the threshold, they are not ready for leadership.  They might assign a difficult task to see whether the emerging leader rises to the challenge with a good attitude. Serving leaders prepare others by exposing the cost.

Serving leaders prepare others by eliminating obstacles.

  If Paul allowed Timothy, a Jew, to be uncircumcised, it would be offensive to all Jews. While Paul adamantly argued that Gentiles did not need to be circumcised, he did not want Timothy’s ability to influence others to be hindered. So, he eliminated that obstacle for Timothy who was likely oblivious to how critical it was. Some leaders ignore obstacles or expect the young leader to learn how to overcome by themselves. But serving leaders look for ways to remove obstacles. While pain is important to confirm motives, serving leaders seek to eliminate any obstacles that will hinder the effective work of the emerging leader. 

Serving leaders prepare others by equipping for success.  

By requiring Timothy to be circumcised Paul was equipping him for success as a leader. If Timothy would not have been circumcised he would have been unable to enter the synagogues where Paul always went first in his strategic church planting efforts. And he would not have been able later to effectively lead churches with Jewish believers. So, with circumcision, Paul equipped Timothy to succeed.

Some leaders focus on their own success and see their team as a means to help. But serving leaders focus on what their team needs and equips them to succeed. Serving leaders measure their success by the success of others.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Think of a person you are considering as a potential team member, or a current member you are considering for a higher responsibility. What actions can you take to help them count the cost of that change?
• Paul used pain to expose the cost of leadership. But he also removed obstacles for Timothy. How do you decide when it is helpful to allow some pain and when an obstacle needs to be removed for those you serve?
• Identify one younger leader on your team. What is an obstacle they face and how can you remove it for them?
• In what ways are you setting your team up for success? What additional actions can you take to ensure that they will be successful?                   

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler In the next issue, we’ll examine how Paul loved those in his leadership pipeline.

The first recorded action of Barnabas was one of extreme generosity.   

³⁶Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”), ³⁷sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet (Acts 4:36-37, NIV). 

Barnabas sold a field he owned and gave the money to the church leaders. He was not the first of the believers to do this (see Acts 4:34), but his name is the first one mentioned in this regard. His action seems to have inspired Ananias and Sapphira to also sell their land (see Acts 5:1-11) but their heart and motives were entirely opposite to those of Barnabas.  The generosity of Barnabas demonstrates traits that all serving leaders do well to imitate.  

Generosity serves by demonstrating sacrifice. 

Barnabas sold the field he owned. This property was likely at his home in Cyprus and perhaps his family inheritance. He likely needed to travel home and then bring the money back to Jerusalem. In any case, in addition to giving the value of the property he gave time and energy. His act of generosity was a sacrifice and reflected the posture of his heart to give. Many leaders are in leadership for what they can get out of the role whether financial gain, prestige, or power. 

But serving leaders sacrifice their own desires and needs to serve those they lead. At times, like Barnabas, this may be a financial sacrifice. But many times, serving leaders sacrifice time and energy or other resources for those who follow. True generosity always demands costly sacrifice.  

Generosity serves by demonstrating sympathy.   

Barnabas was moved to generosity by the needs in the community. There were people who had needs and he had sympathy and compassion for them. He was not looking down on others, but he was looking out for others. His act of generosity shows his heart of sympathy for the needs of others more than his own needs. He recognized that he had possessions that were not intended only for his use but to bless others.  

Many leaders see others as the means to an end, people that can help accomplish the goal or the vision of the organization. But serving leaders do not see ‘workers’ or ‘members’ but they see human beings with their own dreams, passions, and desires. They look at others and see opportunities to bless and encourage. Because serving leaders focus their heart outward, they respond to these needs with sympathy and compassion. They recognize that they have been entrusted with gifts and resources that are intended to flow through them to others.  

Serving leaders give generously to those with genuine needs because they truly care about others and sympathize with their needs.  

Generosity serves by denying self.    

Barnabas sold his land and “brought the money and put it at the apostle’s feet.” In this gesture he gave up the right to determine what happened with his contribution.  The apostles would decide how it would be used in the early church. He wasn’t generous to receive praise. While it’s natural to want others to recognize our good deeds, Barnabas denied himself in this act. His act of generosity shows the focus of his heart which was on others rather than self.  

Many leaders consider being as generous as Barnabas but want to make sure that their name will be announced in the list of donors. Others act with generosity but want to control the outcomes or determine the way others should receive their gift. But serving leaders deny themselves and generously release power to others.  

For further reflection and discussion: 

• How does the generosity of Barnabas challenge me as a leader? What action can I take this week to be more like him?  
• When I give, is my generosity sacrificial or do I usually give only what I don’t want or use anyway? What steps could I take to be more generous?  

• How do I see others on my team? Do I view them as persons who are there to help accomplish my vision or do I see them as humans of equal worth as myself, with their own dreams, desires, and difficulties? How does my view of others impact my leadership?  
• Reflect on a time when you gave finances or tangible items to others with these questions. Was I able to give without any need for recognition or appreciation? Was I able to release control of the gift fully to the recipient or did I maintain power in the transaction? What do my actions reflect about my heart?  
• Read Acts 5:1-11, the account of Ananias and Sapphira who also sold their property. In what ways did their generosity contrast with that of Barnabas?  

Until next time, yours on the journey, 

Jon Byler 

In the next issue, we’ll examine how Barnabas served with a team.  

Serving leaders reflect on how they will finish to keep their own focus on the right areas. But they quickly turn to serve those they lead by also encouraging them to think about finishing well. Although leaders are often further along in their own life journey than those they lead, they consider the implications of Paul’s words for those they lead as well.

⁶For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing (2 Timothy 4:6–8, NIV).

Serving leaders ask “What are you doing to finish well?“ to keep the cost in mind.

“I am already being poured out like a drink offering…” Paul does not hide the cost of serving leadership, it is a giving up and pouring out. Leadership is costly. But his focus on finishing well makes the cost worthwhile. Serving leaders want the best for those they lead so they ask for a high level of commitment. They call others to personal and professional growth as well as higher levels of responsibility. But they acknowledge that more responsibility will require more discipline, effort, and focus. While they understand that not everyone is willing to pay the price, they invite those who follow to be willing to pay the costs by asking them to reflect on the long term instead of the short term.  

Serving leaders remind those they lead that the cost they pay today will bring benefits tomorrow.    

Serving leaders ask “What are you doing to finish well?“ to keep the end in mind.

 “The time for my departure is near.”  Paul was aware that the time he had was short. But he was confident that because he had lived well, he would also finish well. He lived his entire life with the end in mind. He nearly lost his life several times when he was stoned, beaten and shipwrecked.  He may have been surprised that he lived this long! Because he lived with the end in mind, he did not fear the end. Serving leaders help those they lead to keep the end in mind. While there are current tasks that need to be done, serving leaders ask questions about the future. “Where do you hope to be 5 years from now?” “What will it look like if you keep developing your strengths for the next 10 years?” “What are you doing now to ensure strong family relationships in the future?” Questions like these help followers to focus not only on the tasks for today, but on the targets for tomorrow.  

Serving leaders remind those they lead that long term gains are more important than short term successes.

Serving leaders ask “What are you doing to finish well?“ to keep the rewards in mind.  

“There is in store for me the crown…”  Paul was able to look ahead at the prize that was the reward of a life well lived. This perspective made the pain of being “poured out” worthwhile. He was able to finish well by keeping the rewards in mind.  Serving leaders do not ignore the need for short term rewards. But they serve those they lead by helping them focus on the long-term rewards of finishing well.

Serving leaders remind those they lead that the most significant rewards come at the end of a life well lived.

For further reflection and discussion:

• What costs am I asking those who follow me to pay? Have I been open about what it costs to grow as a leader? How can I encourage those who are growing to reflect on the long term instead of the short term?  How do I respond to those who are not willing to pay the price of growing?        
• What am I doing to help those who follow to focus on long term gains? What questions should I be asking those I lead to help them gain a long-term perspective? When will I talk with someone about this?
• Has my leadership focused on short-term rewards or long term? How can I keep the needed short-term rewards but help those I lead focus on the rewards that come from a lifetime of living well?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at a new topic.  

Both David and Absalom had relationships with their followers, but they built and maintained these relationships in very different ways. David, as a servant leader, built relationships in a manner that benefited everyone involved. As a subversive* leader, Absalom used relationships to advance his own cause. We learn about our own leadership relationships as we reflect on their examples.

David built relationships with production; Absalom built relationships with promises. David attracted others to follow him with his courage, first displayed when he killed Goliath. Saul’s son Jonathan saw the faith and courage in David’s life and became a lifelong friend and supporter. Soon after that, David began to lead the men into battle and won their loyalty by his accomplishments as a leader. He even influenced some of Israel’s enemies, men from Gath, to become loyal supporters (2 Samuel 15:18).

David won peoples’ hearts by what he did as a leader. They recognized his victories in battle and acknowledged that God had called him to leadership.

In contrast, Absalom never accomplished anything as a leader. He attracted people to follow him by leading a conspiracy against the king. Ahithophel, David’s counselor, chose to follow Absalom, likely because of his disgust at David’s relationship with Bathsheba, his granddaughter. Absalom promised results but never produced. He said, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then…I would…” (2 Samuel 15:4). He took the easy way of criticizing the current leader instead of offering leadership.

Subversive leaders build relationships based on their leadership dreams. Servant leaders follow God and accomplish results that attract people to follow them. Subversive leaders promise results; servant leadersproduce results.

David honored relationships by listening; Absalom listened only to use relationships. David listened well. He first listened to God and often sought His counsel. He listened to the counsel of his commanders (2 Samuel 18:4; 19:5-8). And David listened to the rebuke of the prophet Nathan.

But Absalom only appeared to listen to those who were coming to the king for justice. His goal was only to steal their hearts so that he could become king (2 Samuel 15:1-6). Later Absalom refused to listen to the advice of Ahithophel, which led this counselor to take his own life (2 Samuel 17:1-23).

Subversive leaders pretend to hear, hoping that will build relationships. Servant leaders honor relationships by listening. Listening to others does not produce weak leadership; it builds relationships instead.

David sacrificed self to build relationships; Absalom sacrificed relationships to build his leadership. David built strong, loyal relationships by continually sacrificing himself for the people he led. The best example of the strength of these relationships is when David longed for water and his mighty men broke through enemy lines to fulfill his desire. But instead of quenching his own thirst, David poured out the water since they risked their lives to get it (2 Samuel 23:13-17). He used relationships to build others.

In contrast, Absalom sacrificed relationships to advance his own position. He ordered the death of his older brother and then led a rebellion against his own father! And 20,000 men lost their lives in the battle at the end of his life. Absalom used relationships to build himself.

Servant leaders attract others to themselves when they willingly sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. They show honor to others instead of only focusing on themselves. But subversive leaders view their own advancement as more important than relationships. They embrace any relationship that advances their cause and discard any relationship that doesn’t serve their ambition.

David and Absalom demonstrate two very different ways leaders build relationships. They illustrate that at least for the short term, both ways attract others. But lasting success comes to leaders who attract others by sacrificing self, listening well, and producing results.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What have I done as a person that could make others want to follow me? If very little or nothing, what do I need to do before seeking a leadership role?
• Have I ever made promises to attract others to follow me? If so, what was the result?
• Am I able to listen to the counsel of others, even when they disagree with my actions? If not, what can I do to become a better listener?
• Do I ever pretend to listen so that others will think I am a great leader? If so, what is God inviting me to do to change?
• In what way have I sacrificed myself for those who follow me? Are there steps I can take today which can demonstrate that I value their relationship more than their performance?

*Subversive means to seek to undermine or destroy an established system. A leader who is subversive intends to overthrow the established authority to take power for themselves.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

Kings are usually known for their acts of bravery and courage, the pomp and splendor of their wealth, and their use or abuse of their absolute authority. But the story of David’s relationship with Mephibosheth paints an amazing story of a king leading with kindness. The account in 2 Samuel 9 is one of the most remarkable leadership stories in scripture. Mephibosheth was the crippled son of Jonathan, the grandson of King Saul. David, in an amazing picture of kindness, brings this cripple to live in the palace and daily eat at his own table with his own sons. What does David’s life teach servant leaders about kindness?

Kindness is purposeful.

David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”(2 Samuel 9:1). David’s act was deliberate; he was not responding to a need brought to his attention. Instead, he looked for someone to receive kindness! Kindness, especially for those in power, is not an automatic response. Leaders naturally look for those who are strong and who can help fulfill their vision, but David looked for someone in need of kindness. He wanted to honor his friendship with Jonathan who was now dead. Saul’s family had been wiped out in the battles, which brought David to the throne. He didn’t even know if he would find any survivors and certainly didn’t expect to find a lame man. But he took the initiative to look. Servant leaders create opportunities to show kindness to others.

Kindness is personal.

So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons (2 Samuel 9:11). David’s kindness to Mephibosheth was intensely personal. His motive was to express kindness to someone from his dear friend Jonathan’s family who was now on the outside of the circle of power. Not only was his motive personal, David’s actions were very personal. He literally brought Mephibosheth into his own private space and treated him as one of his own sons. David could easily have given Mephibosheth a one-time gift and sent him away, but he did far more than that. Mephibosheth felt like an outcast and saw himself as “a dead dog.” David’s kindness to Mephibosheth was more than a handout; it restored dignity and purpose to his life. He ate with the king! Servant leaders recognize that kindness is about relationships with real people. Kindness brings people into the leaders circle and values even those who cannot contribute to the vision.

Kindness is costly.

And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table; he was lame in both feet (2 Samuel 9:13). This act of kindness was costly to David in many ways. Although David enjoyed great wealth, this act of kindness was quite costly. He gave away all of Saul’s land, he provided a home for Mephibosheth in Jerusalem, and fed him daily! But this act cost David more than money. He took a risk to bring into the palace an heir to Saul’s throne and a former enemy of the nation who was not from the ruling tribe. His security guards were likely not pleased to have this man at the King’s table! Others may have whispered quietly that having a cripple at the table was another act far below the dignity of a king. Whatever the cost, David showed kindness and demonstrates to servant leaders that power does not need to rob us of our capacity to show love to the weak.

David’s kindness to Mephibosheth is a beautiful picture of what God has done to each of us: accepting us in our weakness and bringing us to His table as sons and daughters. Servant leaders receive this with gratitude and pass it on to others, especially to those who are weak.

For further reflection and discussion:

Read the entire story of David and Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9 and then reflect on the following questions.

• What does it mean for me to be purposeful in expressing kindness?
• How do I view people who are considered ‘weak’ in my community, the poor, the physically disabled, the uneducated, those with no voice? How might God want me to use my leadership to reach out in kindness?
• Do I sometimes express kindness from a distance, like giving money to a cause instead of getting personally involved? If so, how is God inviting me to be personal in my kindness?
• What price am I willing to pay for an act of kindness? What does this reveal about my heart and what is God inviting me to do in response?

We have already recognized David’s skill as a shepherd, his heart as a faithful worshipper and his clarity of purpose in life. Yet, as an emerging leader David was alone. His family didn’t believe in him and only Samuel seemed to have a sense of what God was preparing to do with this young man. His triumph over Goliath brought some public recognition, but popularity is no substitute for friendship. David finally found a loyal friend who would walk with him through some of his most difficult leadership years.

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt (1 Samuel 18:1-4).

Jonathan’s special friendship with David was a deep and powerful friendship. It was so strong that when Jonathan died in battle David composed a lament, How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights. I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women (2 Samuel 1:25-26). This was a genuine friendship, much more than clicking ‘like’ on Facebook! All servant leaders can learn from David’s example how to choose friends that will help make a difficult journey possible.

Choose friends who share a common goal.

Jonathan and David became “one in spirit.” They were united by their common direction in life. There were many things that could have divided these two men. They were from different tribes. One came from the royal family, the other was a shepherd. There were surely some differences of opinion but something about David’s defeat of Goliath and his unwavering commitment to God’s purposes struck a deep chord in Jonathan’s heart and drew them together. They formed a relationship that was stronger than Jonathan’s blood relationship. Servant leaders carefully choose a few friends who are deeply committed to common goals. Their friendship reinforces these goals and brings out the best in both parties.

Choose friends who sacrifice self.

Jonathan “loved him [David] as himself.” He was the rightful heir to the throne of the land, yet he chose to sacrifice his own ambitions for the sake of his friendship with David. What a gift this friendship was to David! In many relationships, servant leaders are called to lead others by sacrificing self. So, they need friends around them who are willing to sacrifice self to bless the other. This provides strength for the servant leader to continue serving others selflessly.

Choose friends who honor their word.

Jonathan made a covenant with David, a binding agreement symbolized by his gift of his kingly robe and his own weapons. His actions were a powerful symbol that he would honor this friendship. So David was able to trust Jonathan even in life and death situations. Servant leaders look for friends who honor their words. They welcome even painful criticism from true friends.

David didn’t abandon his family or childhood friends. But he found in Jonathan a friend that would help him be a better leader. Servant leaders prayerfully seek one or two Jonathan’s in their lives. If you already have one, take a minute to express your thanks to them. If not, pause and ask God to show you who He has prepared to be this friend.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Take a moment to think about 3 or 4 of your closest friends. Evaluate your relationship with each of them in the following areas: sharing common goals, sacrifice of self, and honoring their words. In what ways has their friendship made you a better leader? How can you express your thanks to them?
• Reflect on your own friendship to others. In what ways are you a “Jonathan” to another leader? Are you willing to see him/her succeed even if you need to sacrifice? What are the common goals you share with him/her? Is that person able to count on your word without question? Have you verbalized your commitment to this relationship?

From looking after sheep to leading a nation, David has one of the most comprehensive biographies recorded in scripture. David is known as a man after God’s own heart (see Acts 13:22) and there are many lessons servant leaders can learn from the story of his life and leadership. In this issue, we’ll look at his early life experience as a shepherd and learn how God used this to develop in him the heart of a shepherd.

We first learn of David when God sent Samuel to appoint another king for Israel to replace Saul who had not fully obeyed God. God sent Samuel to David’s home to appoint a new king and he looked at all of David’s brothers. At this point, David is not even at home; he’s out with the sheep. His father reported, “He is tending the sheep” (1 Samuel 16:11). Although he did not recognize it at the time, behind the scenes God had been shaping in David the heart of a shepherd. The image of a shepherd is often used in Scripture to describe the role of a servant leader and David learned several things as a shepherd which made him a great servant leader.

A shepherd serves with humility.

The work of a shepherd is a lowly job, about as low as you can go. Watching sheep in a desert is not an exciting job! It’s not what aspiring leaders sign up to do as an internship or seek to add to their resume or CV. But as David watched sheep he developed a heart of humility. In the desert there was no one to impress and there was no applause at the end of the day. Even later, when God raised him to a high position, he reflected several times on the reality that he did not earn this position because of his background. He carried with him into leadership a deep sense of awe that God would choose him to lead others. The world is crying for leaders who lead with strength but a humble heart. Like David, those who serve with humility powerfully influence the lives of others.

A shepherd sacrifices for the sheep.

As David led the sheep in the wilderness, he learned that leadership is not about privilege but about sacrifice. He sacrificed his time and his own comfort for the sake of the sheep. Several times, he risked his own life to rescue the sheep from a bear and a lion. Servant leaders recognize that God calls them to focus on the needs of those they serve rather than their own interests.

A shepherd surveys the flock.

A significant role of the shepherd was simply watching over the flock. David watched over the flock to protect them from danger, to identify sheep needing special care or attention. As he stood watch, he learned that servant leaders continually look after the needs of those they are called to lead. They continually reflect on the health of those they lead and act on what they see.

A shepherd stands alone.

As David worked alone, he learned to stand alone. He developed the ability to think for himself and to make decisions that were not based on the opinion of others. In the desert, there was no one around to consult, and no one to impress. As he stood alone with the sheep, he developed courage which he would use later to slay giants and lead a large army. Servant leaders do not work alone, but learn to stand alone, doing what is right instead of what is convenient.

The years of tending sheep in the desert were not wasted in David’s life. God was building a leader who would be able to shepherd His people. Every servant leader needs to learn the same lessons. Are you ready to shepherd?

For further reflection and discussion:

• What experiences has God allowed in my life to teach me humility? Have I sufficiently learned the lessons so that my leadership is shaped by humility? In what ways have I demonstrated humility in the past week?
• Is my leadership primarily about myself or those I serve? In what way have I sacrificed myself recently for those I lead?
• Take a few moments to reflect on the condition of those you serve. What are their greatest needs? Fears? Challenges? Dreams? In what way is God calling you to respond to what you see?
• Reflect on a recent situation which called for leadership courage. What was the situation and how did you respond? What was the result and what is God inviting you to do in a similar situation in the future?

Servant leaders recognize that they stand in the gap between God and those they lead. In the last issue we observed that Moses led by being in God’s presence. A significant part of his time in God’s presence was spent on his face interceding on behalf of the people. The next day Moses said to the people, "You have committed a great sin. But now I will go up to the LORD; perhaps I can make atonement for your sin.” (Ex 32:30) His face down leadership has much to teach us as servant leaders.

Face down leadership focuses on the needs of others.

Servant leaders petition God for the needs of their people. So Moses went back to the LORD and said, "Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold.” (Ex 32:31) It is natural to ask God to meet our own needs and there is certainly a time for this, but servant leaders focus on the needs of others. In face down leadership we serve those we lead by bringing their needs to God in prayer.

Face down leadership requires sacrifice.

Like so much of servant leadership, intercession is costly. For Moses, it meant that time after time he returned to God to bring the needs of the people. He sacrificed his time, mental and emotional energy on behalf of those he was serving. He was even willing to sacrifice his own position with God for the sake of others! “But now, please forgive their sin– but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written.” (Ex 32:32) As they intercede, servant leaders sacrifice their own needs for the sake of their followers.

Face down leadership releases the burden of leadership.

Moses acknowledged that the people he was leading were really God’s people when he told God, “Remember that this nation is your people.” (Ex 33:13) Moses felt the weight of leading an entire nation and knew that God had called him to that role, but prayer allowed him to gain the perspective that these were not “his” people. He was responsible to the people, but not for the people. Servant leaders release leadership burdens through intercession. The church, business, or group that you lead is not really ‘your’ group; they are simply God’s people that He has entrusted to your leadership. We are not at the top of the leadership chart; we simply act as stewards of God’s people. It is easy to lose this focus unless we spend time on our face in prayer. Servant leaders find the balance between active intercession and conscious release.

Face down leadership touches the heart of God.

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” (Ex 33:17) I am amazed at how Moses’ intercession touches God’s heart and changes outcomes. God saw that the heart of Moses was not selfish but focused on others. Moses’ requests reminded God of His own promises and character. And repeatedly, God acted in response to Moses’ prayers. If you want to touch God’s heart, practice face down leadership focused on the needs of others! Whether you are called to lead in church, education, business or the arts, touch God’s heart by falling on your face to intercede for those you lead.

The background reading for this issue is: Exodus 32-33.

For further reflection and discussion:

• What percent of my time in prayer focuses on my needs and how much is centered on the needs of others?
• Are my prayers primarily concerned with the success of my own organization or God’s glory?
• Do I recognize that I am in the gap between ‘my’ people and God, or do I see myself as the leader on top?
• Do I have a plan for how I will pray for those under my leadership?