Paul’s declaration that “All have sinned….” (Romans 3:23) certainly includes leaders. And sin produces the emotion of guilt which is not a pleasant feeling!

David experienced guilt after committing adultery with Bathsheba. His sin was more public than most and David wrote openly about his guilt.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. ² Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. ³ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. ⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge ¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. ¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness (Psalm 51:1-3; 12-14).

Guilt should be recognized. “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.” David recognized he needed cleansing because of his guilt. This recognition took a long time for David, coming only after a rebuke from the prophet Nathan, months after his sin.

His story illustrates the power of our minds to justify sin after we have done wrong. We want to avoid the emotion of guilt because when we recognize guilt, we must acknowledge our wrongdoing. Our minds will provide many reasons that we are not guilty or convince us that what we are feeling is not actually guilt.

But servant leaders learn to recognize guilt as a gift from God to lead them to repentance.

Guilt should be revealed. David revealed his guilt in writing and we still read it centuries after his sin! Guilt is not an easy emotion to reveal. The emotion of guilt brings a quick temptation to ignore it or hide it from self and others. To reveal the emotion of guilt is to admit wrong and no one enjoys confession. But the emotion of guilt carries a purpose, to bring repentance. Repentance can’t happen until guilt is revealed. Ignoring guilt only leads to greater guilt!

Leaders are tempted more than others to hide their guilt since their leadership reputation is at stake. Followers often expect leaders to be perfect and leaders who don’t reveal their guilt encourage this expectation. Leaders who won’t admit guilt often hypocritically point fingers at the mistakes others. They think that if others look guilty, they look better!

But servant leaders learn to reveal their guilt appropriately. Sometimes guilt needs to be acknowledged privately. But many times guilt needs to be shared with another person or a group. Servant leaders learn from David not to hide their guilt.

Guilt should be restrained. Unresolved guilt can cripple a leader. The enemy will whisper that we can’t lead when we have sinned. But David says, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways.” David confessed his sin and then allowed his guilt to open up more doors for influence. He recognized that a leader who has gone through the brokenness of confession and repentance becomes a stronger leader.

A leader’s repentance brings greater compassion and empathy for others who fail. Leaders who experience God’s grace can extend God’s grace to others. Servant leaders learn to restrain their guilt so that it does not hinder their leadership but enhances it. They recognize and reveal their mistakes and then move on, leading with greater compassion and grace.

May God enable each of us, like David, to lead with grace when we experience guilt.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what situation recently did I experience guilt? How did I respond and in what way was my response similar or different than David’s?
• When I am guilty, in what ways does my mind justify what I have done? How can I be freed from this pattern of thinking?
• In what situations do I need to reveal my guilt to others? What makes this difficult for me?
• Are there times when I feel a “false” sense of guilt because of the expectations of others? What is God saying to me about how to respond to this guilt?
• Are there situations in which a leader should stop leading, at least temporarily, because of guilt? What situations would call for this step and how can it be done with grace? Have I discussed this issue with key leaders on my team so that we are in agreement before this situation arises? If not, when can I initiate this conversation?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

First, consider David’s emotion when his own son, Absalom, turned against him and he was fleeing for his life. ⁷ Arise, Lord! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. ⁸ From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people (Psalm 3:7-8).

David didn’t walk calmly out of Jerusalem; he was angry! All leaders will experience the emotion of anger and David gives an example to servant leaders of how to lead with anger.

Anger should be recognized. It is not difficult to recognize that David is angry; he makes no attempt to hide his feelings. After a lifetime of seeking to serve God as a leader, he was running away from a son. His anger was real. If he was leading today he might say, “God, punch my enemies in the face, knock their teeth out!” Servant leaders learn to recognize their anger. They realize that anger is an emotion that we all experience. The emotion itself can be good or bad. Often we are angry because we feel hurt or wronged. Repentance is the appropriate response. At other times, leaders may be angry because of injustice or sin. In this case, anger reflects God’s heart and should lead us to obedient action.

Many leaders try to hide their anger, especially those who, like me, have believed that the emotion itself is a sin. They may call it something else that seems less sinful. They might admit that they are “annoyed” or “upset” but the truth is that they are angry! When anger is not recognized, it cannot be handled appropriately. Recognition of anger is not sin; denial is!

Anger should be revealed. David revealed his anger, and recorded it so that we can still examine it thousands of years later! Thankfully, David did not try to hide his emotion as many leaders do. There are many ways to reveal anger—some are healthy and many are unhealthy! Anger is often revealed openly in violent outbursts with harsh words that destroy relationships. Most leaders recognize that this is not helpful. So, many leaders seek to suppress the explosion and instead resort to clenched jaws and tightened muscles which no one can see. They believe that because the emotion is not visible, it is under control.

But servant leaders learn to reveal anger as David did. They are able to say it first to themselves, and when helpful to others, “I am angry!” As they reveal their emotion in healthy ways, followers learn to trust them as authentic leaders with feelings. Appropriate expression of emotion also improves the leader’s own emotional health.

Anger should be restrained. David recognized his anger and revealed it for all of us to see. But he did not allow anger to control his leadership; he restrained his emotion. David turns from his anger to a focus on God. He wanted personal revenge on his enemies but realized that deliverance would come “from the LORD.” And he finishes this psalm with a request for God to bless His people! In one verse he goes from anger to blessing!

Servant leaders learn to restrain their anger. When their anger is wrong, they cry out to God for a change of heart, with a goal to be “slow to become angry” (James 1:19). They ask forgiveness from those they have offended and model how to admit sin.

When anger is the appropriate response to a situation, servant leaders channel the anger into action to address the issue and invite others to join them in the cause. They lead as humans who have anger as an emotion, but do not allow their leadership to become emotional.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Am I aware of when I am angry, or do I deny it? Do others ever say to me, “You are angry,” but I deny it? What might they be able to see in me that I cannot see? What happens in my physical body when I am angry?
• How do I usually reveal my anger? (An angry explosion, tears, withdrawal, silence, etc.) In what ways is my response godly and in what ways is it sinful?
• Am I quick to repent and ask forgiveness from God and others when I am angry for the wrong things or express anger in hurtful ways? Is there anyone I need to go to and ask forgiveness?
• Are there things which God wants me to be angry about which I have not allowed myself to feel? What might He want me to do about them as a leader?
• Write a personal ‘psalm’ to God, expressing anger honestly. Make sure you end it with a note of praise.
• For further study on anger consider these verses and reflect on what you learn. Cautions against anger: Psalm 37:8; Proverbs 14:17; 16:32; 22:24; Ecclesiastics 7:9; Titus 1:7; James 1:19. Examples of God’s anger: Numbers 25:3, Joshua 7:1; Psalm 7:11. Examples of “good” anger: Exodus 32:19; Nehemiah 5:6; Leviticus 10:16; 1 Samuel 11:16; Matthew 21:12. Other “angry” Psalms: 35, 37, 69:22-29, 79:1-13, 109, 137.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

David responded as a servant leader while Absalom dealt with sin as a subversive* leader. And the outcomes could not be more distinct. David, in spite of his sin, is known as a “man after God’s own heart.” Absalom paid for his sin with his life. What can servant leaders learn about sin from the lives of David and Absalom?

David declared his sin; Absalom denied sin. David initially tried to cover his sin, attempting to make it look like Bathsheba’s pregnancy was from her husband. Then he had her husband killed. But when the prophet Nathan came to confront David, he quickly acknowledged, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13). In his psalm of confession, David says, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:3-4). David recognized that he sinned not only against the people involved but against God.

In contrast, Absalom, after murdering his brother, says to Joab: “Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death” (2 Samuel 14:32b, emphasis mine). David sinned in secret, but repented openly and cried out to God for forgiveness. Absalom sinned openly but refused to repent. He never acknowledged his sin to God or his father.

All leaders are tempted, like Absalom, to cover their sin. Hiding sin is a natural response and it is easy to conclude that confession will damage our leadership. David demonstrates a better way. Servant leaders acknowledge their sin quickly and openly; subversive leaders cover their sin.

David allowed sin to shape his character; Absalom used sin to shape his leadership. David repented of his sin and said, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. ¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. ¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:10-12). David sinned in a moment of passion, but as he repented his character was shaped by God. The experience of God’s grace made David even more effective as a leader.

In contrast, Absalom deliberately sinned to advance his leadership, by sleeping on the rooftop with his father’s wives. (See 2 Samuel 16:21-22.) He used sin to gain more followers! Absalom had no regard for character; he only desired to be the king. Leadership was his goal, not integrity.

Some leaders, like Absalom, base decisions not on what is right or wrong but on what will advance their leadership. They are willing to compromise integrity for short term gain. Servant leaders allow sin to shape their character; subversive leaders use sin to shape their leadership.

David’s response to sin made him better; Absalom’s response made him bitter. David’s life was shaped by his sin and he drew closer to God as a result. He also promised God that after forgiveness he would, “teach transgressors your ways” (Psalm 51:13). Servant leaders repent of sin and allow their mistakes to make them better. They draw closer to God and experience His grace and forgiveness. As they do, they share what they learned with those who follow. They become more compassionate with those they lead as they recognize their own failings and are able to extend grace to others who sin.

Absalom’s response to sin only drove him to a life of bitterness, revenge, and rebellion. His initial sin of murder and denial of guilt led to rebellion, then sexual immorality, and a life of broken family relationships.

The difference between leaders is not in how we sin but in how we respond to sin. Servant leaders accept God’s grace and allow their sin to make them better; subversive leaders allow sin to make them bitter.

Our response to our own sin will shape our leadership. Servant leaders acknowledge sin and allow God to use it to shape their character and make them better leaders. Do you follow David’s example or Absalom’s?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

*Subversive means to seek to undermine or destroy an established system. A leader who is subversive intends to overthrow the established authority to take power for themselves.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Read Psalm 51 to reflect on how David responded to his sin. What is God speaking to me through this chapter?
• How has my own sin changed the way I lead?
• In what areas am I most tempted to make leadership my goal instead of integrity?
• Are there currently hidden sins in my own life which need to be confessed?
• What specific step is God asking me to do in response to this reflection?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

The strength of a building lies in the hidden foundation, and periodically an engineer is called to inspect the foundation for any hidden weaknesses. Since leadership is an inside job, servant leaders are not concerned only with external appearances; they are equally alert to the hidden parts of their lives. Paul warned Timothy to look closely for hidden sins. The sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them (1Timothy 5:24). Paul makes it clear that some sins are very obvious and easily recognizable. Others are more easily hidden and may not be obvious for some time. These are the ones to which servant leaders pay special attention, checking for cracks in the foundation of their leadership. Servant leaders inspect the foundation of their lives in three crucial areas.

Servant leaders inspect the foundation of truthfulness.

The fruit of truthfulness over time is trust, and servant leaders guard this trust as they inspect their lives for any hint of compromise with truth. Servant leaders recognize that compromises to truth often occur in very small steps. A small exaggeration often leads to larger misrepresentations of truth. A small unfulfilled promise leads to more and more outright falsehoods when not acknowledged. Servant leaders recognize that they face daily tests of their commitment to speak the truth. They strive to obey the difficult command of Jesus, “Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

Servant leaders inspect the foundation of thoughts.

The thoughts of a leader are hidden from view but shape their actions. Many of the obvious sins Paul refers to in 1 Timothy 5:25 began in the secret places of the heart and thoughts. Jesus declared, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” (Matthew 15:19). Jesus makes it clear that this list of “obvious” sins begins with heart and thinking problems. When these are cracks are allowed to continue they develop into habits and patterns of thinking and finally lead to actions. Servant leaders recognize the danger of allowing sinful thoughts to control them. They understand that even though no one can see what they are thinking, there is danger in allowing uncontrolled thoughts to continue. They realize that issues like pornography, lust, or anger will not remain hidden forever, but will eventually be expressed in actions.

Servant leaders inspect the foundation of motives.

Servant leaders are concerned not only with the ‘what’ but the ‘why’ of their leadership. They are aware of the temptation to drift from pure motives to mixed motives…then to wrong motives. Motives are not always obvious to others and need regular inspection. Success in leadership often brings the temptation to continue for different motives. Leaders might begin with a desire to serve, but as they experience success and enjoy financial gain or the approval of others, these factors become the motive for leadership rather than a desire to serve. They regularly ask themselves, “Why did I do that?” as a way to test their motives. In addition, they invite others to also ask them about their heart motives. They listen carefully to David’s caution to Solomon, “the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

Where the inspection reveals flaws, servant leaders act quickly to repent and make the necessary repairs to the foundation of their leadership.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Evaluate your truthfulness with the following questions: Have I recently made any promise which I have not fulfilled? Have I exaggerated any report? Have I said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when I didn’t really mean it? Can those who follow me believe every word I speak?
• Reflect on your thoughts. Are there hidden things in your thought life which you know are cracks in your foundation? Do you struggle with temptations to look at pictures, movies, magazines, or websites which are not healthy? Who do you need to talk with to help you find victory over your thoughts?
• Think about a recent leadership action or decision you made. Reflect on your motive and ask: why did you do it? Were there any deeper, hidden motives that contributed to this action or decision? Take a moment in prayer asking God to reveal any wrong motives in your heart.

David’s repentance recorded in Psalm 51 is a beautiful picture of a leader who is truly remorseful for his sin. But his repentance happened when, “The LORD sent Nathan to David” (2 Samuel 12:1). David was a king, a mighty warrior, and a successful leader in so many ways, but at this point in his leadership, he desperately needed a Nathan. Nathan came to point out failure, and by doing so helped David avoid ultimate failure. Since all leaders fail, all leaders will sooner or later need a Nathan as well! Read the full account in 2 Samuel 12 and reflect on three reasons Nathan was able to help David so effectively.

Nathan was courageous.

Confrontation of sin will always requires courage, but it was especially courageous for Nathan to point out sin in a king. If you live in a democratic society where everyone is eager to point out the flaws of leaders, you may easily overlook the courage required for Nathan to confront David. Israel was not a democracy; the King had absolute power. King David had already quietly murdered Bathsheba’s husband Uriah and then married his widow. Nathans’ confrontation took more courage than David facing Goliath in battle. His message was clearly not what the king wanted to hear but Nathan had the courage to do what was needed, not what was convenient. Many leaders are not even sure if they want to risk a friendship to confront sin; Nathan was willing to risk his life. He demonstrates that true servant leaders place the needs of others above their own comfort. They have the courage to confront.

Nathan was tough.

When it was time for truth, Nathan did not go around in circles; He went straight for David’s heart. “You are the man!” (2 Samuel 12:7). He went on to list clearly what David had done. “Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites” (2 Samuel 12:9). These were tough words. But they were true and exactly what David needed to hear. Servant leaders are willing to speak “truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) even when it requires facing tough issues directly.

Nathan was wise.

Nathan didn’t approach David initially with a list of his sins! Instead he told a story of extreme injustice about a lamb taken from a poor man by a rich man. He allowed David to engage emotionally with the story until David’s anger was kindled. David used his leadership skill and pronounced judgment on the rich man. He had no idea that Nathan was about to use this story to reveal his sin. Nathan must have thought carefully about what would be the best way to approach David. He was aware of David’s heart for justice and created a relevant story that opened David’s heart to truth. Servant leaders recognize that confrontation can take many different forms for different persons in different contexts. They wisely seek God for the best approach with a desire to genuinely serve the person whom they are confronting.

God brought Nathan at just the right time to rescue a fallen leader. All leaders need a Nathan, but few accept them. Even fewer seek them out. It is much easier to find people who give us compliments and tell us how good we are. To David’s credit he allowed Nathan to speak into his life. He modeled the humility needed to accept truth, no matter how painful. God may call each of us to at some point to accept a Nathan into our lives or to be a Nathan to someone we love. In either case, servant leaders accept what is needed to walk in obedience. Do you have a Nathan? Do you allow a Nathan in your inner circle? Is God calling you to serve another leader in the role of a Nathan?

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is it more difficult for you to be a Nathan to another leader or to receive a Nathan in your own life? Reflect on any experience you have had in either role. What did you learn? What would you now do differently?
• Do you open your leadership to people who have the courage to speak directly into your life? Do you encourage people around you to be ‘yes’ people or to speak the truth in love? Who can you invite to this role? Think about an individual you respect, or an authority figure in your life. Talk to them about this and give them permission to be a Nathan to you!
• Are there tough words that you need to share with another leader? Ask God to purify your heart and motives and give you the courage you need to take this step. Reflect on how to do this wisely. Then be a Nathan and leave the results to God!

After Adam and Eve’s first sin, David’s affair with Bathsheba is perhaps the most widely known failure of all time. It is ironic that after all the great lessons we have learned from David’s life, we read in 2 Samuel 11-12 the sad story of lust, adultery, and murder. Yet even in this tragic account, servant leaders can learn several valuable lessons from David about sin and failure.

Servant leaders sin.

David was a man after God’s own heart with a passion for worship and a desire to please God. But his vulnerability was revealed when he saw Bathsheba from his rooftop and acted on his human instincts rather than God’s instruction. His actions remind us that even leaders after God’s own heart are human and prone to sin. The point may seem obvious, but leaders often forget that they are vulnerable. Leaders focus on vision, action, and success, which often leads to a sense of invincibility. It is easy to hear of a leader’s failure and think “That could never happen to me.” David’s experience, and that of many others, shows us that it could happen to any of us. Most leaders are severely tempted in at least one of the big three areas of money, sex, or power. Servant leaders recognize that they are vulnerable and ask God to guard their hearts in the areas of greatest temptation.

Servant leaders repent.

David’s repentance is nearly as well-known as his sin. After months of cover-up, David finally poured out his heart to God, For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me (Psalm 51:3-5). David’s repentance was specific, genuine, and complete. He did not make excuses; he agreed with God’s standard. He acknowledged that it was not simply an issue between him, Bathsheba, and her husband; it was ultimately a sin against God. He recognized that this failure was an expression of his sinful nature. His repentance gives all servant leaders hope in the grace of God to forgive even our greatest sin.

Servant leaders continue.

In his famous prayer of repentance after he pleads with God to forgive his grievous sin, David makes an astounding statement, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways” (Psalms 51:13). David had a desire that even in his failures God could use him to influence others. When we fail, our natural tendency is to either ignore the sin, or to see it and then assume God can no longer use us. Servant leaders do not accept either option. Instead they allow God to take their failure and use it as a means to bless others! After his sin, David would be more keenly aware of his own weakness and more appreciative of God’s grace. He would be a more broken leader and a more gracious teacher. He understood what Paul would later explain, “God’s power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). This should not encourage us to sin, but it should inspire all servant leaders to know God can take our failures and make us better leaders. Servant leaders don’t quit when they fail; they continue.

Leadership success is not dependent on perfection, but it is critical that all servant leaders learn to fail forward. The question is not if you will need this, the question is when.

For further reflection and discussion:

Read the entire account of David’s sin in 2 Samuel 11-12 and his repentance in Psalm 51.

• Reflect on one of your most significant sins. In what way might God want to use that for you to teach others His ways? Have you been free to do this? Why or why not? How does your own failure increase your effectiveness in teaching others?
• Reflect on the three areas of temptations for leaders: money, sex, power. Which of these is the greatest temptation for you personally? What safeguards do you place in your life to guard against this temptation? What can you learn from David’s story that can help you in this area?
• Reflect on the leadership of someone you know who, as far as you know, has never admitted a mistake. How does this impact their leadership ability?
• David remained in leadership after his sin, and from him we learn to continue even after mistakes. Are there times when it is necessary to step out of a role after a failure? What determines when this may be helpful?

Credit: Failing Forward is the title of an excellent book by John Maxwell on how leaders can deal with failure.