Serving leaders are passionate about growth since they understand that their growth unlocks the potential they possess. They also realize that their growth determines the growth of the organizations they lead. They recognize that growing themselves is one of the best ways they can serve those who follow. They reflect deeply on Peter’s challenge to all believers:

¹⁸ But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen (2 Peter 3:18, NIV).

Peter challenges us all to keep growing, the antidote for falling from the “secure position” he mentions in the previous verse. Leaders pay careful attention to their growth and ask themselves often, “How am I growing?”   

Serving leaders ask “How am I growing?“ to check balance.

Peter calls leaders to grow in “grace and knowledge…” Knowledge is an area most leaders are aware of their need for growth. They take classes, attend seminars, listen to podcasts, or read books to expand their knowledge. This is excellent. But Peter calls leaders to balance knowledge with grace. Grace is an internal attribute, a character trait, an issue of the heart. Both the head and heart are needed and should be balanced. When growth happens only in the area of knowledge and there is no corresponding development of character, it leads to arrogance. When a leader grows only in character without growth in knowledge, their hearts may be in the right place, but they still lack leadership competencies that are essential.

 Serving leaders ask themselves if they are growing in both areas. They ask if their character is stronger and their knowledge greater than it was before. Serving leaders recognize that they need both head knowledge and heart capacity to increase. They seek to balance their growth between the knowledge and skills they need to excel professionally, with the heart issues of integrity, honesty, courage, and humility.

Serving leaders ask “How am I growing?“ to confirm direction.

Serving leaders are not only concerned that they are growing, but they also want to know if they are growing in the right direction. Peter provides the direction for growth, “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” He points to Jesus as the greatest example of serving leadership. While they may benefit from many leadership resources that are not explicitly faith based, serving leaders ask themselves a simple question, “Am I living and leading more like Jesus than I was a year ago?” If the answer is “yes”, the correct direction is confirmed.

Serving leaders ask “How am I growing?“ to credit correctly.  

Leaders grow for many reasons. Some are seeking a promotion or simply want to grow a larger organization. Some want to impress others with their title or degree. But Peter makes it clear that the motive for serving leaders to grow is not to bring glory to themselves but to Jesus. “To him be glory both now and forever!” Serving leaders are passionate about their growth, but like everything about their leadership, it is not about them, it is about others. Their growth develops the potential they received from their creator and thereby brings glory to Him. Their growth simply allows them to serve more effectively and bring greater levels of flourishing to the organizations they lead.    

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what areas do I focus my growth? Is there a healthy balance between my growth in character and knowledge? Do I choose book, seminars and training with this balance in mind?      
• Is my growth leading me to live and lead more like Jesus? If not, what do I need to change? If yes, in what way is this evident to those around me?
• Am I growing to impress others? Am I seeking to make myself look good? Am I seeking promotion or a new title which is selfish in nature?
• What do I need in my current growth journey? Do I need mentors? Books? Seminars? Professional training?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine a question serving leaders ask others, “How are you growing?”

Leaders influence others by persuasion. They can convince others to follow their vision, to support the cause, and to be a part of the team. Almost always, we try to persuade others with words, often strong or loud words that end with exclamation marks! But sometimes the greatest influence to persuade comes in silence!

Peter instructs wives who have unbelieving husbands, Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives (1 Peter 3:1-2).

In this situation, the husband does not agree with the beliefs of the wife. The wife’s desire is to persuade the husband of the truth she knows. We might advise her to construct well-developed arguments about the existence of God and the need for salvation, and to present them boldly. But Peter advises her to be silent! The silence, combined with godly behavior, would win the husband “without words.” Servant leaders learn the power of persuasion with silence.

Silent persuasion reveals respect. Peter encourages the wives to submit “without words.” Loud arguments would show disrespect and drive the husband away. But quietly living out her life and not pushing him to agree, shows her respect for him as a person.

Good leaders show respect to others, especially those with whom they disagree. They show respect for the other, sometimes by simply continuing the relationship without constant reminders of the disagreement. They recognize that respect will open the door to influence.

Servant leaders often show respect by their silence. They allow God time and space to work in the lives of the other person. Sometimes that time and space changes their own position! Servant leaders recognize the power of respect to persuade through silence.

Silent persuasion invites a closer look. “They will see the purity and reverence of your lives…” The silence of the wife would allow the husband to see! Silence invites the husband to turn his head and see what his wife is doing, thinking or expressing without words. Words encourage people to look at our mouth or to look away; silence encourages them to turn and look more closely.

Leaders model the way before they proclaim the way. They allow their lives to encourage followers to take a closer look. Servant leaders influence through silence as they encourage a closer look.

Silent persuasion transforms hearts. The silence of the wife, coupled with consistently good behavior, could “win over” the heart of the husband. The husband expects confrontation and arguments from her. If she argues, he will respond in the same way and likely win the battle! But instead. he finds only silent “purity and reverence.” The silence is unexpected and has tremendous power. In the end, the power of silence breaks his resistance and he accepts the position of his wife.

Servant leaders learn, especially when there is disagreement, that silence has power to persuade. Servant leaders acknowledge that while God can use their words to bring change, He can likewise use their silence to transform the heart of another. Servant leaders sometimes influence through silence and they see God transform hearts.

Certainly, there are many situations in which leaders are called to share their opinions and have healthy, genuine debate on an issue. But there are also times when leaders would do well to take the advice of Peter and lead with silence. Servant leaders cry out to God for the wisdom to know when they should persuade with words, and when silence is the right approach.

Servant leaders learn that silent leadership speaks loudly in persuasion! They move up by shutting up!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• How do I show respect to those who disagree with me? Is my respect ever expressed in silence? Are there times when my silence would be disrespectful?
• Does my life encourage people to lean in and look more closely, or to move away from my arguments? What is the result in my leadership?
• Am I in a difficult relationship now which has strong disagreements? If I practice silence, would it allow God to change the heart of the other person? What might silence also do to my own heart?
• In what way do the principles of this passage to wives with unbelieving husbands apply to all relationships? In what ways might these verses not apply to others? How can we know when to be silent and when it is right to speak?
• Is there a way that silence can become a weapon to fight instead of a tool to influence? Or is there a difference between refusing to talk and choosing to be silent?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2020.

In the next issue, we’ll examine the sound of silent leadership…in self-defense.

We have been slowly trying to understand what Paul means to speak the truth in love in Ephesians 4:15. Balancing the desire to love with the need for truth is enough of a challenge for most leaders. But the leadership challenge multiplies when Paul adds 14 distinct characteristics of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7!

By this time in the journey, you may be asking, “How long do I need to speak truth in love? Is there no end? What happens when I grow weary of speaking truth to people who don’t change?”

Paul concludes his explanation of love by reminding us that love always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love keeps trying after others have stopped. It does not quit! Servant leaders learn what it means to speak the truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance requires balance.

Some leaders speak truth but quit when they don’t see the results they desire. They allow their own discouragement to stop them from speaking truth. Other leaders may persevere in a relationship for a long time but never take the step of speaking truth. Both truth and perseverance are needed.

Because love always hopes, love doesn’t quit or give up. Through good times and bad, true love perseveres. Is there someone you once loved and tried to speak the truth to, but gave up when nothing seemed to change? Paul says to us all, love always perseveres. Love tries again….and again!

Servant leaders learn that there is never a time to stop speaking truth!

Speaking the truth with perseverance reveals maturity.

Paul reminds us that when we speak truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking truth with perseverance requires great patience, faithfulness and self-control. All these are fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) that take time for God to develop in our hearts.

As leaders grow in maturity, they learn not to give up quickly on others. They recognize that truth may take months or years to produce fruit in the life of the listener. As servant leaders mature, they grow in their ability to speak truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance reflects Jesus.

Jesus showed a balance of truth and perseverance in His conversations with Peter. We have already observed how patiently Jesus waited before speaking the truth to Peter after his painful denial of Christ.

When the time was finally right, Jesus spoke truth to Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. And when Jesus spoke truth He persevered, asking the same question three times. The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).

Peter was hurt because of Jesus’ persistence in asking this question. But Jesus kept on, gently reminding Peter of the three times he had denied Christ. Jesus exposed Peter’s pain so that Peter could be healed and accomplish his calling as a leader in the early church. His love finally broke Peter’s heart.

What if Jesus would have given up on Peter the night of the betrayal? Or if he would have asked only once, “Do you love me?” Jesus knew that He needed to persevere in speaking truth to Peter.

Like Jesus, servant leaders learn that love does not stop even when pain is exposed. They learn from Him to speak truth with perseverance.  

Love and truth. Servant leaders are called to speak both in balance. And with Jesus as a guide, they learn that truth is spoken patiently, with kindness, without boasting, without pride, in ways that honor the other, without self-seeking, without anger, without a record of wrongs, with rejoicing, and always protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak “truth” with perseverance or to give up when I don’t see results? What is the result in my leadership? 
• When have I spoken truth, but didn’t persevere? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?  
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke truth with perseverance? What can I learn from His example?
• As you reflect on the past 15 issues which focused on speaking the truth in love, which area needs more attention? Take some time to look back and allow God to guide your response.

Paul warns against delighting in what is evil. Servant leaders do not rejoice in the sin or wrong in another persons’ life. But they rejoice with the truth! Servant leaders rejoice when the truth can be spoken and joyfully anticipate a response to the truth which will bring greater freedom and joy to that person’s soul.

Rejoicing as we speak truth delights in the opportunity to speak into the life of another person for their good. It reflects a focus on the other rather than self. It is this focus on the other which reveals a true heart of love and allows the servant leader to speak the truth with rejoicing.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing requires balance.

Some leaders may find a mistake or wrong in someone’s life and find delight in exposing it, feeling justified that the ‘truth has been revealed.’ There may be secret pride in the leader feeling that in some way he/she is better than the other because a wrong has been revealed. The words spoken may be true, but they are not loving.

Other leaders may see the wrong and not be willing to speak the truth because they don’t want to appear to be “delighting in evil.” This leader only wants to focus on the positive in the other and rejoice in what is right. Paul tells us that a balance is needed. Truth should be spoken but with the right attitude. A servant leader carefully guards against delighting in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reveals maturity.

Learning to rejoice at the right things reflects our level of maturity. Paul made it clear that as we learn how to speak the truth in love, “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). This growth is a process and takes time to develop.

An immature leader may see the need to speak truth but do it out of a sense of duty or obligation, as one of the tasks of leadership. This is especially true when the truth which needs to be spoken may be painful or difficult for the other person to receive. This leader may focus on what it will ‘cost’ to take the time and energy to speak the truth. The focus is on oneself, not the other person.

As leaders mature, Christ changes their hearts to be more loving and to focus on the needs of the other instead of self. Even when truth needs to expose something wrong or sinful in another person’s life, the servant leader does not rejoice in what is wrong but finds delight in helping the other person to grow by speaking the truth with love.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reflects Jesus.

Jesus never delighted in evil but rejoiced in speaking the truth. After Simon Peter acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah, Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).

Jesus was able to focus on the blessing for Simon Peter and rejoiced in what God had revealed to him. Jesus was not envious that Peter had received this revelation, He rejoiced! And although Peter’s revelation was all about Jesus’ identity, Jesus does not focus on Himself, but on Peter. He continued to talk about Peter’s destiny to become a significant leader in the church. Servant leaders learn from Jesus to rejoice as they speak the truth in love.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to “delight in evil” or “rejoice in the truth”? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but was inwardly proud that I was able to expose the wrong in the other person? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person with whom I spoke?  
• Read Matthew 16:13-23 and reflect more on Jesus’ communication with Peter. What can I observe about how Jesus kept the focus on Peter instead of Himself? Am I able to do this when someone gives me a compliment? What can I learn about speaking the truth in love from Jesus’ rebuke of Peter in verse 23? Was this spoken in love?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus rejoiced as He spoke truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019

When we are angry, we usually open our mouths! And what comes out is not usually very loving, especially when we have been deeply hurt. Paul challenges us to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). This is a difficult challenge when we are angry. But Paul goes on to make it very clear that love “is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). When I am angered easily, it indicates that I’m not practicing love, no matter what I say with my mouth!

Imagine that a close friend betrays your confidence. You shared a personal prayer request and later discovered that your friend had told others! What will you say? Servant leaders learn from Paul to speak truth but without being easily angered.

Speaking the truth without anger requires balance.

When you see your friend, you might explode and say loudly, “I can’t believe you told others what I shared with you; that was so wrong. I’ll never talk to you again!” Did you speak the truth? Yes, but with a lot of anger!

Or you might be so angry at your friend that you decide never to trust them again but choose not to speak about what happened. So, you keep quiet and fail to speak the truth!

Paul calls us to balance truth and love. We should speak the truth but not with anger. We cannot ignore what happened, but we should only speak when we are not consumed with anger. We may need to acknowledge our anger but find a way to speak with gentleness. Perhaps you can say, “What you did really hurt me, and I was very angry about it. God helped me to forgive you, but I would like to talk about what happened so that it does not destroy our friendship.” This is truth spoken with love!

Speaking the truth without anger reveals maturity.

How easily am I angered? That’s a test of my maturity. Immature leaders quickly become angry. If I am quick to become angry, I need the Spirit to keep working in me to produce patience and gentleness in my heart. Then I need to think about what I say when I’m angry. Being able to balance truth and gentleness is also a test of maturity. It is much easier to explode in anger than to speak the truth gently in love!

To speak with love and without anger when we have been hurt is a sign of maturity which often takes a long time. That’s why Paul says that as we learn to speak the truth in love we will, “grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

Servant leaders learn that sometimes the best thing to do is to stop and let God help them control their anger before they say anything. But then, when their anger is controlled, they seek courage from God to address the issue truthfully in the right spirit. Mature servant leaders are able to speak truth without being easily angered.

Speaking the truth without anger reflects Jesus.

Jesus’ life shows us that it is not always wrong to be angry. He was angry when others were mistreated, when His Father’s house was misused and when peoples’ hearts were stubborn. But he was not ‘easily angered’ and did not react to personal insults or betrayal.

Even when Jesus knew that Peter would betray Him, He calmly spoke the truth with no hint of anger. Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me” (Luke 22:34).Later, after Peter denied Him,Jesus simply looked at Peter. We don’t know what Jesus ‘said’ with His eyes but it must not have been a look of anger since His look caused the bold Peter to weep tears of grief and repentance. (See Luke 22:61).

Jesus spoke truth without being easily angered and He calls all servant leaders to follow His example.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” with anger or to keep quiet when I’m angry and avoid the truth? What is the result in my leadership? 
• When have I spoken truth, but with anger? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Do I need to ask forgiveness of that person?
• What times in Jesus’ life and ministry reveal that Jesus was not “easily angered”? How would I have responded to these situations?
• Look at the following passages in which Jesus was angry or spoke very strong words: Mark 3:1-5; Matthew 23:1-4; John 2:13-22. Reflect on what happened in these situations. What can we learn about the things He was angry about? How did He speak truth in these situations? What can we learn from His example?
• Reflect on what James teaches about anger in James 1:19-20, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” What does this teach us about speaking the truth without being easily angered?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Confrontation is difficult but often a necessary part of a leaders’ role. When confronting a problem in someone else’s life, it is crucial to learn to speak truth without pride. Servant leaders hear Paul’s command to speak the “truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). They also recognize that genuine love “is not proud” (1 Corinthians 13:4) so they learn to speak the truth without pride.

Pride is thinking more highly of oneself than appropriate, seeing oneself as more important than others. This attitude can often impact what a leader says and the way it is said. This is especially true when someone needs correction. Imagine that a member of your team was asked to submit a report by Friday but did not complete it until Monday. What does it mean to speak truth without pride?  

Speaking the truth without pride requires balance.

Some leaders would try to preserve the relationship with the team member by keeping quiet and hoping for a change in the future. But the truth needs to be shared or the person who has done wrong will not be able to grow and change.

Leaders who fail to speak the truth don’t love deeply enough to confront the wrong. They love themselves more than the other person! Another leader may speak truth but with pride, “I can’t believe you didn’t submit that report on time; I have never failed to meet the deadline!”

The truth must be balanced with humility. In Galatians 6:1, Paul gives instructions about how to give correction: “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Paul says that we need to correct “gently” and to watch ourselves or we will also be tempted.

In what way are we tempted? Primarily to correct with pride. We are tempted to think that we are better than the one who has sinned or made a mistake. We quickly think that their problem is worse than our problem. We are tempted to think that we would never commit the same error.

When the leader speaks with pride, a feeling of superiority is conveyed. They may speak the truth, but their motive is to make themselves look good, not to help the other person. “I am better than you, that’s why I’m telling you the truth.” But putting others down will never lift you up! Humility allows the leader to point out the problem without a sense of superiority. Servant leaders learn to balance truth with humility.  

Speaking the truth without pride reveals maturity.

It is not easy to correct someone without feeling superior to them. The fact that correction is needed indicates a mistake has been made by the other person. It is natural for the leader to feel superior and leaders often know the answers. They can easily feel they are not only ahead of those who follow but above them.

Until God’s spirit breaks our pride, it will be impossible to speak truth with humility. Servant leaders quickly repent when they identify their own pride and ask God to deepen their love for the other person. Then they speak truth with humility. As they learn to do this, they grow in maturity.   

Speaking the truth without pride reflects Jesus.

Peter boldly contradicted what Jesus was saying would happen in the future. He was wrong, and Jesus confronted him. ²³“Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’” (Matthew 16:23).

Peter had just declared that Jesus was the Christ. Jesus could have responded with pride and a reminder of who he was rather than keeping the focus on Peter and his need to change. Jesus corrected by speaking truth with humility and servant leaders learn to do the same as they follow His example.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to ignore the need to speak correction or to do it with pride?   What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but not with humility? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• If speaking truth with humility is a measure of my maturity, how much have I grown in this area? In what relationships is God inviting me to learn to speak truth with humility?  
• Can I think of another time when Jesus corrected with truth and no pride? What can I learn from His example?

Speaking the truth patiently requires balance.

Truth needs to be expressed, but patience requires a willingness to wait. The two must be balanced to speak truth in love. Some leaders may be so “patient” that they never actually speak the truth!

More often, leaders may want to just get the truth out too quickly. They quote Jesus’ words, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).And they reason, “The sooner this person knows the truth, the better!” But speaking truth with patience requires balance. Servant leaders learn that they need to wait for the right time to speak the truth.

Speaking truth with patience may mean waiting until the person is ready for the truth. There may be a situation that requires waiting for a person to change so they are open to hear the truth. Sometimes speaking the truth in the presence of other persons may bring shame to the person instead of encouraging change. Servant leaders recognize that without patience, truth will not “set you free.” They are willing to wait for the right time to speak the truth. They recognize that love for the person is as important as love for the truth.

Speaking the truth patiently reveals maturity.

Immature leaders rush to speak the truth with little thought to timing. Truth often seems more urgent to proclaim than it really is. As leaders mature, they allow the fruit of patience to develop in their lives and sometimes choose to wait to speak the truth. They allow time for God to shape their own heart which may reveal a wrong motive. Mature leaders realize that not everyone is ready for truth at the same time and they are willing to wait with patience. Servant leaders wait for the right time, the right context, and the right motive.

Speaking the truth patiently reflects Jesus.

Jesus, a master leader, was able to wait for the right time to speak truth. He knew that Peter would deny him and spoke that truth to Peter in the upper room during the Passover meal (Luke 22:34). Later, Jesus was arrested, and Peter followed him to the courtyard of the High Priest where he denied knowing Jesus three times.

⁶⁰Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶ The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” ⁶²And he went outside and wept bitterly. (Luke 22:60-62)

As Peter finished his third betrayal, Jesus turns and looks at Peter. What was the truth in this situation? Peter had failed and betrayed His Lord. Many leaders would quickly speak the truth, “I told you that you would fail!”

But what does Jesus say? Nothing! Jesus was patient. He knew that this was not the right time to speak the truth. Peter needed time to weep and reflect on his actions.

Later, Jesus would come back to Peter and gently restore him by asking three times, “Peter, do you love me?” Then He called Peter to take care of “my sheep” (John 21:15-19). There was a time for truth, but Jesus spoke it only after waiting patiently.

Like Jesus, servant leaders learn to speak truth…patiently!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” or to be “patient”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with patience? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? What would have been a better time to speak truth?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus waited patiently to speak the truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Confrontation is one of the most difficult and painful tasks of leadership and Paul didn’t like confrontation any better than we do. But when he recognized Peter’s hypocrisy Paul didn’t hold back. When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong (Galatians 2:11). Paul’s rebuke was both bold and humble and serves as a guide to all servant leaders of how to effectively confront when it is needed.

Boldness enables personal confrontation.

It took great courage for Paul to confront Peter. In the last issue we examined Peter who boldly confronted the religious leaders as the church was born. He was the spokesperson for the church and Paul was a latecomer to the leadership team. Paul did not have seniority or position over Peter. All these factors make Paul’s courage more remarkable. But he did it boldly and in this case, publically.

It takes courage to confront sin in another person’s life and many leaders shrink from this task. Some hope that the problem will go away with time or that someone else will do the difficult task of confrontation. Some cultures find it more difficult to confront especially when the confrontation is directed at someone in a higher position. But Paul’s boldness lay in his understanding of the issues involved and his genuine love for Peter. Peter’s hypocrisy threatened to destroy the power of the Gospel to break down barriers between Jews and Gentiles. It was a sin issue, not personal preference or opinion. Servant leaders can absorb personal insults and accusations, but when sin is involved they need courage to confront. However, they confront to bring change, nor for personal revenge or vindication. Paul was not trying to undermine Peter’s leadership or to take his position. It was not a personality fight or an attempt to make himself look good by making Peter look bad. Paul genuinely cared for Peter and wanted the best for him. Servant leaders love enough to speak out rather than ignoring the problem. They humbly desire the best for those they serve. When this calls for confrontation, they do so boldly.

Humility brings perspective to the confrontation.

Paul boldly confronted Peter but he did so with humility and love. His intent was to correct and build, not to destroy. Just a few chapters later Paul reminds all servant leaders, Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted (Galatians 6:1).Paul teaches servant leaders that the goal of confrontation is restoration and for that to happen it must be done gently. Servant leaders humbly recognize that even when they are called to confront, they themselves are far from perfect and acknowledge that they could easily be on the other end of the confrontation. Because they have experienced God’s grace, they invite others to receive His grace. Their goal is to restore not to destroy. This perspective radically alters both the content and spirit of the confrontation. If confrontation is done with the intent to prove the other person wrong, to vindicate oneself, to shame another, or instill fear in others, the outcome will not be redemptive. The spirit in which confrontation is done often determines the outcome.

Some leaders are bold and don’t fear confronting others. But they do it with arrogance and pride which almost always leads to conflict. Other leaders are so “humble” they never confront with courage. Again, no change happens. Servant leaders are called to confront boldly but with the perspective of humility. When both are present, there is great potential that the confrontation will bring a positive change of heart. But regardless of the outcome, servant leaders approach confrontation with bold humility.

For further reflection and discussion:

• In my leadership, do I more naturally confront wrong or avoid conflict? What is the result? What is God calling me to change?
• Reflect on the last time you confronted someone. Did you do it with a spirit of humility? (If not, you likely need to go back and repent!) Was the issue you confronted a sin or just a difference of opinion between you and that person?
• What current relationship in your leadership needs confrontation? What are the reasons you have not already confronted? What does Paul’s example teach you and what is the step you need to take this week?
• In what way is confrontation an expression of love? Does lack of love lead you to avoid confrontation or to do it with the wrong perspective?
• In what way does your culture influence confrontation? In what ways does Paul’s example speak specifically to your culture?
• In this example Paul’s rebuke was public. When is this needed and when is it best to confront privately?

The first message preached by Peter was confrontational and courageous and brought him into immediate conflict with the authorities. After his case was heard he left the court and gathered together with other believers and prayed, Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness (Acts 4:29). His prayer reveals the balance of boldness and humility every servant leader needs and calls us to proclaim truth with humility.

Boldness releases a servant leader to proclaim God’s truth.

At risk to his own life, Peter boldly proclaimed truth to a hostile audience. He exposed their sin and called them to repentance and change (see Acts 3). The authorities responded quickly with force and threats and Peter is called to face their charges. These were the men who orchestrated the death of Jesus only a short time earlier. Even in this situation Peter continues to respond with boldness and ultimately refuses to obey their order to stop talking about Jesus! He proclaimed the truth of God in that situation seemingly without regard to what it might cost him.

Servant leaders have courage to speak the truth even in costly situations. They do not wait for everyone to approve since they are not seeking approval from others. They recognize that true leadership is not a popularity contest. Like Peter, they focus on God’s agenda not their own. In the boardroom, pulpit, staff meeting, the teachers’ lounge, or over a meal, servant leaders are not afraid to tackle tough issues. They are not bound by the desire to please people or to be politically correct. Their confrontation often cuts across the status quo and boldly calls people to change. When is the last time you boldly spoke truth?

Humility requires a servant leader to seek God’s power.

It is not difficult to think of Peter as bold, however, humility is not a word we would quickly associate with his leadership! But his prayer reveals that he was no longer relying on his natural leadership abilities for boldness but on God’s strength. Perhaps he recalled his betrayal of Jesus and how he lacked the courage to speak truth in that situation. He had always been quick to speak but at that point realized that his natural leadership abilities were not enough. In this prayer he humbly acknowledges that on his own he did not have the courage needed to keep speaking in the face of the threat of death or imprisonment. He humbly sought and received God’s power.

Those gifted to lead often assume that they have the power to change others. But servant leaders humbly acknowledge their own limitations and lack of ability to bring about a change of heart. Even those naturally gifted in leadership, like Peter, recognize that on their own they cannot produce positive change. They humbly seek God’s power to fill them again and again. When is the last time you asked God for boldness?

When leaders are bold but not humble they do more harm than good. They confront situations with arrogance and a superior attitude, recklessly leading change. When leaders are humble, but not bold, no change takes place. Wrong is not confronted and truth is not revealed. Servant leaders learn from Peter to be bold and humble. This combination leads to the transformation of lives in those we lead. This is not learned from reading a book on leadership or by setting high goals for achievement. It comes by being with Jesus. The authorities could only explain the amazing courage of Peter by recognizing that he had been with Jesus. Servant leaders walk close enough to Jesus to be set free from the need for praise from men. They are close enough to His heart to recognize situations that call for a proclamation of truth. From Him they gain passion to see God’s kingdom established in their home, their business, their church and their world. When that is not happening servant leaders rise up and lead with bold humility.

For further reflection and discussion

• Read Acts 3 and 4 and reflect on Peter’s bold humility. What additional things can you learn from his example? In what way is God asking you to follow Peter’s example?
• In your leadership, do you tend to lead with boldness or humility? What is the result? What steps can you take to bring balance to your leadership in these areas?
• What situations in your home, workplace or church does God want to change? Have you prayed enough about this situation to lead with bold humility? What will bold humility look like in this situation?

The next instruction Paul gives young Timothy about the type of leaders who are worthy to be called servant leaders is "hospitable" (1 Timothy 3:2). To be hospitable is to be friendly and welcoming to strangers or guests. What in the world does what happens at home have to do with leadership? Paul recognizes that hospitality reveals at least three things in the heart of a leader, each of which is essential for servant leaders.

Hospitality displays a willingness to be transparent.

Inviting someone to your home is a risky act of vulnerability! The moment you open your door to a guest and invite them into your home, they learn to know you on a much deeper level than they ever will in public. They will observe the way that you interact with your wife and children. They will notice what books and magazines you read. They will get a sense of your values as they interact with you at home. If you are not willing to be transparent, limit your leadership to the office or public arena! It's much easier to hide who you really are in public than at home.

Hospitality demonstrates a heart of service.

Hospitality is a lot of work! Even if it is only a simple meal, hospitality involves preparation, cleaning, washing dishes, and then focusing on the needs and desires of the visitors. If your visitors stay in your home overnight or for a longer period of time, hospitality may involve moving children around to make room for the visitors, preparing beds, changing your morning schedule and cleaning after they leave. If you don't have the heart of a servant, don't bring people home! It's much easier to meet them in a restaurant or café and have a meal together.

Hospitality discloses a spirit of generosity.

Hospitality is costly. It will cost you the time that it takes to prepare, entertain, and serve. It will also cost money, likely spending more for food to prepare a special meal or at least sharing what you have. Generosity is not so much a matter of how much you possess but how much you are willing to release. Some of the most generous people I know have very little materially, but are rich in generosity and they express it by sharing freely what they have. If you're not willing to share, don't invite people to your home! It's much easier to keep than to give.

A biblical example of a servant leader who demonstrated hospitality is the account of Simon, the Tanner. Luke records the story of how this worker in a despised vocation hosted the apostle Peter in his home for "many days" (Acts 9:43). We have no idea how many meals were served to Peter during this time, but we do know that he not only enjoyed the bedroom and the kitchen of Simon the Tanner, but he also had access to the roof where he went to pray. What is more, one day three total strangers showed up and Peter, himself a guest, invited them in for the night! Another meal and three more beds! (How would you respond to that kind of a guest?) We know nothing else of Simon's faith, leadership, or academic credentials. But when he opened his door to Peter, God opened the door of faith to the Gentile world! Simon passed the quality checklist for a servant leader because of his hospitality. Peter was likely remembering him when he wrote later, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). How do you rate in this hidden area of leadership? Take some time to reflect on the questions below….and invite someone to your home today!

For further reflection and discussion:

• When is the last time you invited someone to your home for a meal? To spend the night? Do you find hospitality easy or difficult?
• What is the hardest for you in relation to hospitality: transparency, service or generosity? Spend a moment asking God to reveal to you what He wants to change in this area.
• How does your culture encourage or discourage hospitality? What can you do as a follower of Jesus to cultivate His culture in your home?
• Reflect on Hebrews 13:2. How is God inviting you to respond in obedience?