https://leadersserve.com Leaders Serve People Flourish Organizations Thrive Fri, 16 Oct 2026 23:29:45 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1.3 https://leadersserve.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/cropped-Leaders-32x32.png https://leadersserve.com 32 32 https://leadersserve.com/2017/01/25/a-sense-of-timing-a-time-to-confront/ Wed, 25 Jan 2017 06:00:35 +0000 https://leadersserve.com/?p=4111 Issue #199, January 25, 2017

Encouragement is always needed and usually greatly appreciated. But servant leaders also recognize that there is a time to confront. One of the best-known confrontations in scripture happened when God called the prophet Nathan to confront King David who had committed adultery and murder. Nathan first tells the king a story of a rich man who took advantage of a poor man and David instinctively reacted with anger towards the wicked action. Nathan responds “You are the man! Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.' Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die" (2 Samuel 12:7-15, portions). Most of us will never need to confront a king, but Nathan’s example shows all servant leaders how to confront an employee, friend, or colleague.

When it’s time to confront do it carefully.

Nathan’s confrontation shows a lot of care. First, there was a clear wrong. In this case, God revealed to Nathan the wrong. Servant leaders choose the time to confront carefully making sure that there is an obvious wrong that needs correction. This may be a moral issue as it was with King David or it may be a wrong attitude or action. Secondly, Nathan’s use of a story showed that he had thought carefully about what to say to King David. His confrontation was not an impulsive reaction to a wrong. It was carefully planned to provide the best chance of success. No one enjoys being confronted. Servant leaders recognize that it is time to confront when there is a clear wrong. They confront as carefully as possible with a genuine desire to serve the one being confronted.

When it’s time to confront do it courageously.

Confronting a king was a quick way to hasten your own funeral! God’s command likely helped Nathan have courage, but I suspect that he knocked on the door with some degree of fear. Still, he confronted courageously. Many leaders realize that confrontation is needed but they don’t have the courage to act. They may fear the loss of the relationship or an inappropriate response. They may wait, hoping that the issue will be resolved without confrontation. But when it’s time to confront, servant leaders act courageously. They recognize that failure to act courageously never helps the other. Their love for the person who needs correction and their understanding of the reason God called them to leadership overcomes their fear.

When it’s time to confront do it constructively.

Nathan’s purpose in the confrontation was to bring King David to repentance. Thankfully, David did respond with a repentant heart although there were still enormous consequences to his sin. Nathan’s only purpose for confrontation was to help David. Servant leaders do not confront out of anger or a desire for revenge. They don’t confront to embarrass or shame. They know it’s time to confront when it will help the other person grow and develop. Their purpose is constructive and they serve by confronting.

Confrontation may be one of the most difficult and painful tasks of leadership. But servant leaders follow Nathan’s example and serve by confronting. When it’s time for you to confront, do it carefully, do it courageously, and do it constructively.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Reflect on the following scriptures which relate to confrontation. (2 Chronicles 26:16-19; Matthew 18:15-17; Galatians 2:11-14; 6:1; 1 Corinthians 5:1-5) Write down what you learn from these examples and instructions.
• What is my natural tendency when it comes to confrontation? Do I do it without careful thought? Do I have the courage to do it whenever needed? Do I do it for the good of that person?
• Reflect on a recent time you confronted someone, or when you should have. What did I do well? What could have been done better? How well did I follow the principles demonstrated by Nathan?
• Are there any relationships or situations currently which need confrontation? What is my plan of action?

]]> https://leadersserve.com/2015/01/21/david-needing-a-nathan/ Wed, 21 Jan 2015 06:00:49 +0000 https://leadersserve.com/?p=4002 Issue #147, January 21, 2015

David’s repentance recorded in Psalm 51 is a beautiful picture of a leader who is truly remorseful for his sin. But his repentance happened when, “The LORD sent Nathan to David” (2 Samuel 12:1). David was a king, a mighty warrior, and a successful leader in so many ways, but at this point in his leadership, he desperately needed a Nathan. Nathan came to point out failure, and by doing so helped David avoid ultimate failure. Since all leaders fail, all leaders will sooner or later need a Nathan as well! Read the full account in 2 Samuel 12 and reflect on three reasons Nathan was able to help David so effectively.

Nathan was courageous.

Confrontation of sin will always requires courage, but it was especially courageous for Nathan to point out sin in a king. If you live in a democratic society where everyone is eager to point out the flaws of leaders, you may easily overlook the courage required for Nathan to confront David. Israel was not a democracy; the King had absolute power. King David had already quietly murdered Bathsheba’s husband Uriah and then married his widow. Nathans’ confrontation took more courage than David facing Goliath in battle. His message was clearly not what the king wanted to hear but Nathan had the courage to do what was needed, not what was convenient. Many leaders are not even sure if they want to risk a friendship to confront sin; Nathan was willing to risk his life. He demonstrates that true servant leaders place the needs of others above their own comfort. They have the courage to confront.

Nathan was tough.

When it was time for truth, Nathan did not go around in circles; He went straight for David’s heart. “You are the man!” (2 Samuel 12:7). He went on to list clearly what David had done. “Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites” (2 Samuel 12:9). These were tough words. But they were true and exactly what David needed to hear. Servant leaders are willing to speak “truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) even when it requires facing tough issues directly.

Nathan was wise.

Nathan didn’t approach David initially with a list of his sins! Instead he told a story of extreme injustice about a lamb taken from a poor man by a rich man. He allowed David to engage emotionally with the story until David’s anger was kindled. David used his leadership skill and pronounced judgment on the rich man. He had no idea that Nathan was about to use this story to reveal his sin. Nathan must have thought carefully about what would be the best way to approach David. He was aware of David’s heart for justice and created a relevant story that opened David’s heart to truth. Servant leaders recognize that confrontation can take many different forms for different persons in different contexts. They wisely seek God for the best approach with a desire to genuinely serve the person whom they are confronting.

God brought Nathan at just the right time to rescue a fallen leader. All leaders need a Nathan, but few accept them. Even fewer seek them out. It is much easier to find people who give us compliments and tell us how good we are. To David’s credit he allowed Nathan to speak into his life. He modeled the humility needed to accept truth, no matter how painful. God may call each of us to at some point to accept a Nathan into our lives or to be a Nathan to someone we love. In either case, servant leaders accept what is needed to walk in obedience. Do you have a Nathan? Do you allow a Nathan in your inner circle? Is God calling you to serve another leader in the role of a Nathan?

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is it more difficult for you to be a Nathan to another leader or to receive a Nathan in your own life? Reflect on any experience you have had in either role. What did you learn? What would you now do differently?
• Do you open your leadership to people who have the courage to speak directly into your life? Do you encourage people around you to be ‘yes’ people or to speak the truth in love? Who can you invite to this role? Think about an individual you respect, or an authority figure in your life. Talk to them about this and give them permission to be a Nathan to you!
• Are there tough words that you need to share with another leader? Ask God to purify your heart and motives and give you the courage you need to take this step. Reflect on how to do this wisely. Then be a Nathan and leave the results to God!

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