We have been slowly trying to understand what Paul means to speak the truth in love in Ephesians 4:15. Balancing the desire to love with the need for truth is enough of a challenge for most leaders. But the leadership challenge multiplies when Paul adds 14 distinct characteristics of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7!

By this time in the journey, you may be asking, “How long do I need to speak truth in love? Is there no end? What happens when I grow weary of speaking truth to people who don’t change?”

Paul concludes his explanation of love by reminding us that love always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love keeps trying after others have stopped. It does not quit! Servant leaders learn what it means to speak the truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance requires balance.

Some leaders speak truth but quit when they don’t see the results they desire. They allow their own discouragement to stop them from speaking truth. Other leaders may persevere in a relationship for a long time but never take the step of speaking truth. Both truth and perseverance are needed.

Because love always hopes, love doesn’t quit or give up. Through good times and bad, true love perseveres. Is there someone you once loved and tried to speak the truth to, but gave up when nothing seemed to change? Paul says to us all, love always perseveres. Love tries again….and again!

Servant leaders learn that there is never a time to stop speaking truth!

Speaking the truth with perseverance reveals maturity.

Paul reminds us that when we speak truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking truth with perseverance requires great patience, faithfulness and self-control. All these are fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) that take time for God to develop in our hearts.

As leaders grow in maturity, they learn not to give up quickly on others. They recognize that truth may take months or years to produce fruit in the life of the listener. As servant leaders mature, they grow in their ability to speak truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance reflects Jesus.

Jesus showed a balance of truth and perseverance in His conversations with Peter. We have already observed how patiently Jesus waited before speaking the truth to Peter after his painful denial of Christ.

When the time was finally right, Jesus spoke truth to Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. And when Jesus spoke truth He persevered, asking the same question three times. The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).

Peter was hurt because of Jesus’ persistence in asking this question. But Jesus kept on, gently reminding Peter of the three times he had denied Christ. Jesus exposed Peter’s pain so that Peter could be healed and accomplish his calling as a leader in the early church. His love finally broke Peter’s heart.

What if Jesus would have given up on Peter the night of the betrayal? Or if he would have asked only once, “Do you love me?” Jesus knew that He needed to persevere in speaking truth to Peter.

Like Jesus, servant leaders learn that love does not stop even when pain is exposed. They learn from Him to speak truth with perseverance.  

Love and truth. Servant leaders are called to speak both in balance. And with Jesus as a guide, they learn that truth is spoken patiently, with kindness, without boasting, without pride, in ways that honor the other, without self-seeking, without anger, without a record of wrongs, with rejoicing, and always protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak “truth” with perseverance or to give up when I don’t see results? What is the result in my leadership? 
• When have I spoken truth, but didn’t persevere? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?  
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke truth with perseverance? What can I learn from His example?
• As you reflect on the past 15 issues which focused on speaking the truth in love, which area needs more attention? Take some time to look back and allow God to guide your response.

Paul continues to challenge servant leaders to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).But will speaking truth in love accomplish the change we desire? Since Paul recognizes that we might be tempted to avoid speaking the truth because we can’t predict the outcome, he also tells us that love always hopes (1 Corinthians 13:7).So, servant leaders are called to speak the truth with hope. What does it mean to hope as we speak truth?

We normally use the word ‘hope’ to mean a wish, something we desire to be true. A servant leader may desire to speak the truth in hope that the listener will respond with change. But this is not what Paul meant when he said that love always hopes. In the Bible, hope has a much stronger meaning. Biblical hope is a confident belief in what God has promised. We hope in what is not yet seen. The source of hope is not our desire but in God’s faithfulness. In the last issue we looked at speaking truth with trust. The focus of trust is on the other person; the focus of hope is on God.

So, as servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope, their foundation is not in what they ‘hope’ will happen. Instead their hope is in God’s ability to take truth and accomplish His purposes both in their lives and in the lives of the listener. They may or may not see the outcome, but servant leaders are called to speak truth with hope based on God’s faithfulness.

Speaking the truth with hope requires balance.

Some leaders may face a situation that requires change but hesitate to speak the truth. They conclude that since their hope is in God, they will keep quiet and allow God to produce the change. Their hope is in God, but they are not speaking truth!

A balance is needed. Love requires that truth be spoken with hope in God, not the person involved. Servant leaders learn that their hope in God’s work is combined with their willingness to speak truth.

Speaking the truth with hope reveals maturity.

Young leaders may speak truth to someone who walks away with no visible change. When nothing happens, the immature leader may speak truth again, but a little louder. They believe more energy on their part will accomplish greater change for the listener! Finally, in disappointment, the leader concludes that it’s better not to keep speaking the truth.

But with maturity, servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope. This hope is not in the person, but in God’s ability to use truth to do His work. They have a deep confidence that what is spoken in love will ultimately accomplish God’s purposes even if they don’t see it visibly. Servant leaders also recognize that part of God’s purposes may be developing patience in them as they wait to see what they hope for!

Speaking the truth with hope reflects Jesus.

Jesus speaks truth with hope when the rich young ruler comes to him and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me” (Mark 10:21).

Jesus could have tried to make the truth less demanding, but He loved the man too much to ignore the truth. He knew that the young ruler might turn away, as he did after hearing Jesus’ words. But Jesus spoke truth with hope, believing that at any time God could turn this difficult situation around.

Immediately He told His disciples, all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27).We do not know if change ever occurred for this young ruler. But Jesus spoke truth with a deep hope in God’s ability to change the situation. And He teaches servant leaders to do the same!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak ‘truth’ with hope in God or in the person to whom I’m speaking? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with hope in God? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus showed His deep hope as He spoke the truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Paul warns against delighting in what is evil. Servant leaders do not rejoice in the sin or wrong in another persons’ life. But they rejoice with the truth! Servant leaders rejoice when the truth can be spoken and joyfully anticipate a response to the truth which will bring greater freedom and joy to that person’s soul.

Rejoicing as we speak truth delights in the opportunity to speak into the life of another person for their good. It reflects a focus on the other rather than self. It is this focus on the other which reveals a true heart of love and allows the servant leader to speak the truth with rejoicing.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing requires balance.

Some leaders may find a mistake or wrong in someone’s life and find delight in exposing it, feeling justified that the ‘truth has been revealed.’ There may be secret pride in the leader feeling that in some way he/she is better than the other because a wrong has been revealed. The words spoken may be true, but they are not loving.

Other leaders may see the wrong and not be willing to speak the truth because they don’t want to appear to be “delighting in evil.” This leader only wants to focus on the positive in the other and rejoice in what is right. Paul tells us that a balance is needed. Truth should be spoken but with the right attitude. A servant leader carefully guards against delighting in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reveals maturity.

Learning to rejoice at the right things reflects our level of maturity. Paul made it clear that as we learn how to speak the truth in love, “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). This growth is a process and takes time to develop.

An immature leader may see the need to speak truth but do it out of a sense of duty or obligation, as one of the tasks of leadership. This is especially true when the truth which needs to be spoken may be painful or difficult for the other person to receive. This leader may focus on what it will ‘cost’ to take the time and energy to speak the truth. The focus is on oneself, not the other person.

As leaders mature, Christ changes their hearts to be more loving and to focus on the needs of the other instead of self. Even when truth needs to expose something wrong or sinful in another person’s life, the servant leader does not rejoice in what is wrong but finds delight in helping the other person to grow by speaking the truth with love.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reflects Jesus.

Jesus never delighted in evil but rejoiced in speaking the truth. After Simon Peter acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah, Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).

Jesus was able to focus on the blessing for Simon Peter and rejoiced in what God had revealed to him. Jesus was not envious that Peter had received this revelation, He rejoiced! And although Peter’s revelation was all about Jesus’ identity, Jesus does not focus on Himself, but on Peter. He continued to talk about Peter’s destiny to become a significant leader in the church. Servant leaders learn from Jesus to rejoice as they speak the truth in love.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to “delight in evil” or “rejoice in the truth”? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but was inwardly proud that I was able to expose the wrong in the other person? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person with whom I spoke?  
• Read Matthew 16:13-23 and reflect more on Jesus’ communication with Peter. What can I observe about how Jesus kept the focus on Peter instead of Himself? Am I able to do this when someone gives me a compliment? What can I learn about speaking the truth in love from Jesus’ rebuke of Peter in verse 23? Was this spoken in love?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus rejoiced as He spoke truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019

When Paul calls us as leaders to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), he clearly wants what we speak to be true. But when he explains that love is “not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:5), Paul goes deep into our hearts to expose the reasons why we speak truth.

What we say matters but our motive for saying it also matters! Paul recognizes that we may speak truth, but our motive is to benefit ourselves rather than the other person. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says we should speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” The truth should benefit the other person, not the speaker.

Servant leaders learn from Paul to speak the truth without any hint of personal gain. Their focus is outward, not inward. They focus on the needs of the other, not themselves.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking requires balance.

Both truth and an unselfish motive are required for balanced speech. Many leaders have a passion to speak truth, but their motive is selfish. Perhaps they think that the truth will make them look better than the other person, since they don’t have that problem. Or they may realize that the person’s mistake is hindering the growth of the organization, so they decide to speak the truth. But their motive is to advance the organization, not to meet the needs of the person. Or they may speak truth to respond to something that hurt them personally. These motives are all seeking self!

On the other hand, a leader may have genuine love for the other person but fear that speaking the truth will cause offense or damage the relationship. So, they say nothing, and the truth is lost! Both truth and a focus on the needs of the other person are needed. Sometimes speaking the truth in love will benefit the other person and benefit themselves or the organization. But servant leaders don’t allow their own interests to determine their actions. Instead, they look to the needs of the other.

The needs of the other, not the needs of the leader, determine what will be said and how it will be spoken. Servant leaders balance truth with the motive of meeting other’s needs.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking reveals maturity.

All leaders are naturally selfish, so maturity is required to speak truth with no hint of self-seeking! Because motives are often hidden, servant leaders take time to ask God to expose what is hidden in their hearts.

When they make mistakes, servant leaders repent and ask God to continue changing their hearts and revealing hidden motives. They ask God to break their proud hearts and pour His love for others into the places that once were focused only on self. This breaking often happens over a long period of time as a leader walks in daily obedience to Jesus. As servant leaders grow in maturity, their words of truth expressed in genuine love become life-giving gifts to those who hear them.

Speaking the truth without self-seeking reflects Jesus.

Jesus was able to speak truth without seeking His own needs. In John 5:28-30, He says, ²⁸“Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice ²⁹and come out—those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned. ³⁰By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”

The truth that Jesus spoke was difficult to accept but He spoke boldly. At the same time, He was not saying these things to please Himself or to make Himself look good. He spoke the warning that His listeners needed to hear.

Servant leaders reflect on Paul’s words and follow the example of Jesus to speak truth without self-seeking.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to focus on my needs, or on the needs of those I speak to? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but was seeking self? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Is there anything I should do now to correct that mistake?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke truth without self-seeking? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019. 

Paul calls us to speak the “truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).Then he adds that love “does not envy” (1 Corinthians 13:4).So, servant leaders are called to speak “truth without envy.”

Envy is a desire to possess what another other person has. This may be a desire for what that person has materially or a position or honor that the person enjoys. I may envy that person’s success in ministry, business or career. Envy is a condition of my heart which will often be expressed in the way I talk. Speaking the truth without envy means that I speak truth with no desire to gain what the other person has. My speech does not change because of the other person’s success and I am able to rejoice in any success the other experiences.

As we reflect on what this means, imagine a situation in which a friend tells you that a peer of yours, working in the same profession, is doing much better than you are. You learn that their business (or church) is growing rapidly or that they just received a promotion in their career. After listing all the achievements, your friend looks at you and asks, “What do you think about that?” What will you say? How can a servant leader respond by speaking the truth without envy?   

Speaking the truth without envy requires balance.

Will you envy that person or speak the truth? What will you say if the truth is that you are envious? It’s not likely that you’ll say, “I really wish I was as successful as my friend!” It is more likely that because of envy, you will minimize their success, perhaps by suggesting that their success is not earned. You may respond, “I doubt they could have succeeded like that without cheating. They must be compromising, paying bribes or avoiding taxes.” If it is a successful church you may say, “They must have compromised the true Gospel if that many people are coming!”

In these responses you expose your envy and minimize the truth. Or, because of envy, you may change the “truth” of your own situation to make things look better than they really are. You may say, “That’s great but I’m also expecting a promotion soon!”

  Servant leaders acknowledge the truth, but without envy. The person has done well, perhaps because of God’s favor, or their hard work, or both. You might respond, “That’s awesome, I’m so glad for them!” Is that true? If, as you speak these words, you know that what you are speaking is not truth, it is pretending to rejoice while your heart is filled with envy. Servant leaders speak without envy and without changing the truth.

Speaking the truth without envy reveals maturity.

To see someone else succeed and not have envy in our hearts is a sign of maturity! We are naturally selfish and want the best for ourselves with little concern for others. It is hard to rejoice in another person’s success when our hearts are focused on our own success! No leader can speak the truth without envy unless they have died to their own selfish desires.

Servant leaders lay down their own egos and rejoice in the success of another. They recognize that their tongue is connected to their heart and until their heart is set free from envy, their speech will reflect their heart. It takes most of us a long time to reach this level of maturity!

Speaking the truth without envy reflects Jesus.

Jesus did not envy the success of others, instead He rejoiced in it. Consider His words, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father” (John 14:12).

There is not a hint of envy as Jesus spoke of great success for those who would follow. In fact, Jesus seems to enjoy the reality that His disciples would do more than He had done. His ministry was confined to the nation of Israel while they would take the gospel to the nations. He was speaking the truth without envy and servant leaders learn to speak in the same way.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth without envy” or to be “envious”? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken with envy? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?  
• Reflect on John the Baptist’s statement in John 3:27-30. In what way could John have been tempted to speak with envy? What can we learn from his example?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus could have been envious but instead spoke the truth with no hint of envy? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019

Speaking the truth patiently requires balance.

Truth needs to be expressed, but patience requires a willingness to wait. The two must be balanced to speak truth in love. Some leaders may be so “patient” that they never actually speak the truth!

More often, leaders may want to just get the truth out too quickly. They quote Jesus’ words, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).And they reason, “The sooner this person knows the truth, the better!” But speaking truth with patience requires balance. Servant leaders learn that they need to wait for the right time to speak the truth.

Speaking truth with patience may mean waiting until the person is ready for the truth. There may be a situation that requires waiting for a person to change so they are open to hear the truth. Sometimes speaking the truth in the presence of other persons may bring shame to the person instead of encouraging change. Servant leaders recognize that without patience, truth will not “set you free.” They are willing to wait for the right time to speak the truth. They recognize that love for the person is as important as love for the truth.

Speaking the truth patiently reveals maturity.

Immature leaders rush to speak the truth with little thought to timing. Truth often seems more urgent to proclaim than it really is. As leaders mature, they allow the fruit of patience to develop in their lives and sometimes choose to wait to speak the truth. They allow time for God to shape their own heart which may reveal a wrong motive. Mature leaders realize that not everyone is ready for truth at the same time and they are willing to wait with patience. Servant leaders wait for the right time, the right context, and the right motive.

Speaking the truth patiently reflects Jesus.

Jesus, a master leader, was able to wait for the right time to speak truth. He knew that Peter would deny him and spoke that truth to Peter in the upper room during the Passover meal (Luke 22:34). Later, Jesus was arrested, and Peter followed him to the courtyard of the High Priest where he denied knowing Jesus three times.

⁶⁰Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶ The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” ⁶²And he went outside and wept bitterly. (Luke 22:60-62)

As Peter finished his third betrayal, Jesus turns and looks at Peter. What was the truth in this situation? Peter had failed and betrayed His Lord. Many leaders would quickly speak the truth, “I told you that you would fail!”

But what does Jesus say? Nothing! Jesus was patient. He knew that this was not the right time to speak the truth. Peter needed time to weep and reflect on his actions.

Later, Jesus would come back to Peter and gently restore him by asking three times, “Peter, do you love me?” Then He called Peter to take care of “my sheep” (John 21:15-19). There was a time for truth, but Jesus spoke it only after waiting patiently.

Like Jesus, servant leaders learn to speak truth…patiently!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” or to be “patient”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with patience? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? What would have been a better time to speak truth?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus waited patiently to speak the truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

In my leadership, I have often reflected on Paul’s exhortation to speak the “truth in love.” He says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

Recently, however, a colleague* challenged me to think more deeply about what it means to balance truth and love. He linked this “truth in love” statement with Paul’s description of love, ⁴“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

So, speaking the “truth in love” demands that we speak truth patiently, with kindness, without envy, and so on down the list. That list gives me a lot to work on as a leader!

In this series we will look at the list one by one to discover how speaking truth in love will impact our leadership. First, in this issue, let’s reflect on what we learn as servant leaders from Paul about “speaking the truth in love.”

Speaking truth in love requires balance.

Truth and love often seem to conflict with each other. We choose to speak the truth or we speak with love. I have often spoken words to my spouse which offended her. But then I defended myself by saying, “But it’s the truth!” Yes, it was truth, but not spoken in love! Without a balance, the relationship was damaged. In other situations, I find it difficult to speak the truth with courage. I fear that I will hurt the person and damage our relationship. So, I avoid speaking the truth. But again, the relationship is weakened because there is no balance of truth and love.

Some personalities and some cultures will naturally speak truth while others find it easier to speak with love. But to all of us Paul says we must speak “truth in love.” Servant leaders learn to balance truth and love. This is not easy, and it is a journey! Paul says, “we will grow…” as we learn this art. In this series we’ll learn that while we may have mastered one element of speaking truth in love, there will be another that needs work!

Speaking truth in love reveals maturity.

Paul says that as we learn to speak truth in love, we will “grow to become mature.” How mature are you as a leader? You might think of your leadership position or role. You might count the number of years you have served as a leader. But Paul’s instruction reminds us that our ability to speak truth with love reveals how mature we are. Servant leaders measure maturity not in years of leadership, but in how well they speak the truth in love.

Speaking truth in love reflects Jesus.

Paul reminds us that as we mature, we reflect Christ, the head of the church. John describes Jesus as one, “who came from the Father, full of grace and truth”(John 1:14).He was full of both grace and truth, or love, a perfect balance. Jesus rebuked sharply and spoke tenderly. He courageously confronted injustice but spoke gently to the woman at the well.

In this series we’ll observe how Jesus spoke truth in love in every imaginable situation. The goal of all servant leaders is to reflect Jesus in all they do. As servant leaders learn to speak like Jesus, balancing truth and love, they learn to lead like Jesus.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Where am I on the journey to balance truth and love? How does my culture influence me in this? How does my personality impact me in whether I more easily speak the truth or speak with love? What would a better balance look like at home? In my area of service?           
• What is my maturity level if measured by how well I speak the truth in love? Would those under my leadership rate me as strong, average or weak in the way I express truth and love?
• Reflect on a recent conversation with a colleague or friend. Was my speech more loving or more truthful, or was it balanced? What can I learn about myself from that conversation? In what way could I have strengthened that relationship with a better balance of truth and love?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

It’s always time to grow! Your personal growth has a major impact on your leadership. The writer of Hebrews shares a strong warning about the issue of timing and growth.

We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil (Hebrews 5:11-14).

While this passage has implications for all believers, the stakes are even higher for leaders since their own growth determines the growth of those under them. Servant leaders see and accept God’s plan for their personal growth in these verses.

Grow early.

“By this time you ought to be teachers.” Not everyone will have the gift of teaching, but God’s plan for every believer is for them to grow personally and then pass on to others what they have learned. Those who do this kind of “teaching” are influencers of others. This makes them leaders whether or not they have a position or title. The leadership vacuum we experience is not a lack of gifting but a direct result of little growth. So, the timing for growth is as early as possible. If you are just beginning your leadership journey, do all you can to grow. Invest early in your growth; it will pay rich dividends later. If you have been a leader for a long time, look at areas you still need to grow. Just because you have been a leader for years does not mean your leadership is growing! Are you increasing your impact over time? How would the sentence end if God were speaking these words to you, “By this time you ought to be….”? Servant leaders recognize that the only way to grow early is to grow now.

Grow quickly.

“You are slow to learn.” The writer is alarmed about the speed of their growth. The difference in the speed of growth is a personal choice. This is not to say that growth is a quick process; it takes time. But, servant leaders desire to grow as quickly as possible to maximize their impact. They recognize that the only way to grow quickly is to schedule time for their own growth. They are determined not to allow their busy schedules to crowd out time for their personal growth. They look for books, seminars, or other resources which can speed their growth.

Grow continually.

“Solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves…” Over time personal growth leads to maturity and the ability to handle “solid food.” Maturity is the outcome of continued growth. Servant leaders recognize the compounding growth that comes as they continue to grow. They resolve never to stop growing. They value the growth that has already happened but refuse to become satisfied with where they are at. They want more growth, realizing that as they grow, they can more deeply impact others for the growth of God’s Kingdom. Servant leaders realize that their growth is their own responsibility; they have “trained themselves.” They don’t wait for others to challenge them to grow, they see it as one of their primary leadership responsibilities.

It is always time to grow. It takes time to grow. Grow early, grow quickly, and grow continually to be the leader God has called you to be! I’m growing with you!

For further reflection and discussion:

Reflect on your own personal growth with the following questions:

• How would the sentence end if God were speaking these words to you, “By this time you ought to be….”? What needs to change for me to move in this direction?
• Is my growth slow, medium, or fast? How has this impacted my leadership? What, if anything, do I need to change?
• How much of my current schedule is devoted to personal growth? What are the obstacles to growing and what do I need to do to change?
• What are the current areas of growth in my leadership? What steps could I take to speed up this growth? What will be the impact as I continue to grow in these areas?
• Are there persons to whom I should be accountable to grow or who can help me grow? What are they and when will I talk to them about my growth?

Paul continues his quality checklist for Timothy by noting that the leaders chosen must “not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil” (1 Timothy 3:6). At first glance it may seem like Paul is against young leaders. However, he is writing these words to Timothy, a young leader. But Timothy had been a believer in Christ for many years and was not a recent convert. Paul’s instruction is not focused on age but maturity in faith. Paul’s instruction implies that even if a seasoned leader comes to faith in Christ, time is needed before he or she is ready to be a servant leader. Paul recognizes leadership maturity does not automatically develop with time but cannot develop without it. Time provides experience that allows leaders to mature and develop. There are no shortcuts or ways to speed up the process, the only thing which can be done is to effectively use the time to produce maximum maturity. Servant leaders do this in several ways.

Servant leaders use time to reflect on their experiences.

Leaders automatically gain experience with time, the question is what they do with that experience. Servant leaders learn the discipline of reflection to turn their experiences into wisdom. They use time for reflection to learn from their mistakes as well as successes. As they reflect, they are able to identify personal deficiencies in character and ask God to change them. They identify weaknesses in competence and develop plans to strengthen their skill. In reflection, they learn to hear God’s quiet voice giving direction. They take time to reflect because they desire to maximize their experience for the glory of God. Inexperienced leaders often impulsively keep running ahead with little time to stop and reflect.

Servant leaders use time to gain new experiences.

Servant leaders acknowledge that time is a precious gift from God to enable them to carry out the vision that He has given to them. They see each day as an opportunity to grow and gain new experience that will allow them to more completely fulfill that vision. They recognize that God’s plan for growth demands that they continually stretch their own capacity to lead. They refused to be satisfied in their comfort zone. They recognize that if they are not a growing in gaining new experience in leadership, a much younger leader will soon surpass their maturity. Inexperienced leaders quickly stop growing and stretching.

Servant leaders use time to share their experiences.

Servant leaders are not simply interested in building their own personal leadership potential; their focus is on serving others. They want to build into the next generation what God has taught them and actively find ways to do this. This happens sometimes informally, at other times in public speaking events, or through deliberate writing or blogging about their experience. Inexperienced leaders overlook opportunities to investment in the next generation.

Paul himself is a great example of a servant leader who was not a recent convert. He took 3 years in the desert before any act of leadership. He continually reflected on his leadership and acknowledged “I have not yet obtained all this.” He continually yearned for more with a vision for the “regions beyond.” He continually invested his life and experience into younger leaders, including this passage he wrote to Timothy. (See Gal. 1:18; Phil. 3:12, 2 Cor. 10:16, and 2 Tim. 2:2). He used time to build leadership maturity.

Take a moment to ask yourself if your leadership maturity equals the time you have followed Jesus.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do you build into your schedule time for reflection? If not, what needs to change? If so, what have you been learning about yourself and leadership in the past 3 months?
• Reflect on a mistake that you have made in leadership. What did you learn from that experience? Have you made changes in your leadership to avoid repeating that mistake?
• What new leadership challenges have you faced in the last 6 months and how have you responded to them? Have you used them as opportunities to grow and develop your leadership ability?
• Are there leadership opportunities before you which you have not accepted simply because you know they will require greater levels of commitment and sacrifice? If so, what will it take for you to move out of your comfort zone?
• Have you deliberately invested in the life of a younger leader, freely sharing your experience with them? If not, what is God inviting you to do in this area?
• Are there opportunities God has given to you to share your experience with others that you have declined? (This could be opportunities to speak or share with the group publicly, an opportunity to write or teach either formally or informally.) If so, reflect on why you missed this opportunity and what needs to change.
• If you are a young leader, what are you doing to deliberately learn from those who have more experience than you do?

Moses’ life and leadership took a dramatic change after his first attempt at leadership. Pharaoh discovered the murder and sought to kill Moses. So “Moses fled from Pharoah and went to live in Midian…” (Exodus 2:15b) Picture the transition. Moses goes from being “powerful in speech and action” (Acts 7:22) to being an unknown stranger in the desert. One day he was a privileged member of the ruling family in Egypt; the next, a fugitive on the run. One day he had servants at his disposal; the next day there was no one who paid any attention to his needs. For the next 40 years Moses lived in the desert as a shepherd, as God prepared him to be a servant leader. As we observe what happened to Moses in the desert we can gain valuable principles about how God prepares servant leaders.

Preparing servant leaders requires character development.

Moses didn’t become the meekest man on earth in the palace; he developed this characteristic in the desert. God took this time to strategically shape the character of Moses. In the desert his royal titles didn’t matter. His ability to navigate the halls of the palace didn’t help find his way to the watering hole. His education at this point seems to have been wasted. It is a time of breaking and humbling for Moses. God is preparing him for the challenges of leading a nation where his character would be sorely tested. He needed to be able to handle miraculous power without pride, he would need to withstand tremendous opposition and rebellion without retaliation. This time of character training was so effective that in the rest of Moses’ life and leadership we only find one time when he failed in a test of his character. God shapes our character over time by allowing us to go through our own times of testing. He is more interested in a strong foundation than a polished exterior.

Preparing servant leaders requires acts of service.

Moses had learned the art of taking life in Egypt. Now he needed to learn the skill of care and nurture. He learned to serve others, not through heroic actions but through small acts of sacrifice. His heart to serve leads Moses to rescue the daughters of Midian and water their flocks. From that act God gives him a wife and then children, more great opportunities to learn to serve others! The act of shepherding for years must have taught Moses a lot about looking out for the needs of the sheep, protecting them from danger, finding food for their physical needs and nurturing those who were weak or sick. Those whom God will use as servant leaders must learn how to serve others. Those who are not willing to pay the price of obscure acts of service are not capable of leading from the top with a servant heart.

Preparing servant leaders requires time.

40 years is a long time! Wasn’t there a faster way for God to teach Moses all He wanted him to learn? We live in a modern world where we want instant results and expect leaders to develop quickly. But leadership development is a process that takes time and there are no shortcuts for God’s preparation process.

As harsh and uncomfortable as the desert must have been for Moses, it is the place God chose to prepare him. Many other biblical leaders including Elijah, David, Jesus and Paul spent transformational time in isolation. Leadership maturity is forged on the anvil of difficulty and servant leaders allow God to complete His work in the desert.

After 40 years as a shepherd, Moses was ready for the call that would transform his life. We’ll look at that in our next issue.

The background reading for this issue is: Exodus 2:15-3:1.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Are there areas of your leadership in which you sense that the foundation is not strong enough to support the role you are carrying? What can you learn from Moses’ preparation that can help you?
• If you sense that you are in a stage of preparation for leadership, reflect on what God is doing. What areas of character is He working on in your life? What acts of service is He calling you to do that will go unnoticed by others?
• Read the accounts of other Biblical leaders who had wilderness experiences in 1 Kings 19; 2 Sam 1, Matthew 4, and Gal. 1: 17-18. What do you learn from their experiences that is helpful for your own leadership?