We have already seen several factors that helped Timothy grow in his leadership capacity. He was hungry to learn, he paid the price of leadership, he learned the Word and how to think and reflect. Timothy left hindrances behind and learned self-control as he became a role model. In this issue we focus on another factor that helped make Timothy an effective leader—he established healthy friendships. Consider these verses:

² People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³ without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, ⁴ treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—⁵ having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people (2 Timothy 3:2–5, NIV).

To Timothy my true son in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord (1 Timothy 1:2).

Do your best to get here before winter. Eubulus greets you, and so do Pudens, Linus, Claudia and all the brothers and sisters (2 Timothy 4:21).

These verses indicate that Timothy succeeded in establishing relationships that were healthy and beneficial to him and to the others involved. Serving leaders seek to act in the same way to develop healthy relationships.

Timothy’s healthy friendships resulted from choosing.

Paul reminds Timothy that there are many people who would not be healthy friends. He cautions Timothy strongly, “Have nothing to do with such people.” Timothy learned to choose friends well. He understood that the choices he made in his relationships would either strengthen or undermine his leadership.

Many leaders don’t give careful thought to their choice of friends. They might choose friends based on perceived advantages or how the friendships can benefit them. Or they may simply allow relationships to develop without conscious thought. But serving leaders think carefully about those with whom they spend time. While they seek to love and serve everyone, they choose their friendships deliberately and thoughtfully.

Timothy’s healthy friendships required commitment.

 Paul didn’t have any biological children but called Timothy his “true son.” How did Timothy earn this endearing position with Paul? He had shown his loyalty and faithfulness to Paul for years, demonstrating his commitment to their relationship. As he paid the price of a healthy friendship with Paul, he learned how to have healthy relationships with others.

Some leaders want the benefits of healthy relationships but are not willing to invest the time, energy and commitment that is required. Serving leaders recognize that healthy friendships are costly but worth the investment. They focus on loving and serving well and see their commitment rewarded with healthy friendships.

Timothy’s healthy friendships released companionship.

When Paul was in prison and awaiting martyrdom, he summoned his faithful friend Timothy for a last farewell indicating the depth of their friendship. And he conveyed greetings from many others who loved Timothy deeply. After years of carefully selecting the right friendships and investing deeply in them, Timothy—and his friends—reaped the reward of genuine companionship, something every person longs to achieve.

Many leaders come to the end of their lives and tragically discover that they really don’t have any committed companions that will be with them. Serving leaders, like Timothy, choose their friends carefully, nurture those relationships diligently and have some of the richest relationships possible as a result.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How would I describe “healthy” and “unhealthy” friendship?
• As I reflect on my current relationships how satisfied am I at the health of these relationships? What, if anything, do I need to change?
• What one relationship can I focus on in the coming month to strengthen and how will I invest deliberately in this friendship?
• Reflect on those you lead. What can I do to encourage them to develop healthy friendships?        
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 1 Timothy 4:6-7; 5:1-2, 21, 24-25; 6:20-21; 2 Timothy 1:2, 15-18; 2:16-18; and 4:9-12. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy cultivated healthy relationships and the results of his actions?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how Timothy related to different generations. In this series we’ve been looking at the life of Timothy. It’s a great time to read through the two books in the Bible with his name, written to him by Paul. As you read, reflect on what Timothy did to grow as a leader and how his actions apply to your own growth.

Serving leaders, like all leaders, have and use authority.  Authority is the legitimate power that gives them the right to act in their role as a leader. But many serving leaders may find the subject of authority a bit awkward.  Is authority good or bad? How does it fit with the concept of serving others? In this series we’ll examine how serving leaders view and use authority. First, a glimpse at the life of David reveals that serving leaders respect the authority of those above them. David was anointed to be king, but Saul was still on the throne and was chasing David and his men. Twice, David had an easy opportunity to kill Saul and take the kingdom. On one of these occasions, David cut off the corner of Saul’s robe.  

 ⁵Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. ⁶He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” ⁷With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way (1 Samuel 24: 5-7, NIV).

David’s restraint shows remarkable respect for the authority of Saul even when Saul was seeking to kill him. David acknowledged that Saul was the king and respected his position even when he didn’t agree with the actions of the king. David’s response shows serving leaders the results of respect for those in authority over them.

Respect for authority builds character.  

This period was a very difficult time in David’s life as he was chased by king Saul. It was a time that his character was tested and shaped in powerful ways. Most significantly, David learned that before he should be in authority, he had to learn to be under authority. This is always a difficult lesson for leaders and much more difficult when the person in authority is not a good leader! But serving leaders respect the authority of those over them and allow God to shape their character as they show respect by their words and actions.  

Respect for authority builds trust

David acted with respect for authority because it was the right thing to do. But his followers were also watching. As they saw David’s respect for king Saul they grew in their trust of David. They observed that he was “conscience-stricken” after cutting Saul’s robe. They heard him describe his enemy as “the anointed of the Lord.” As they watched him closely, they recognized that David was a leader they could trust. Serving leaders build trust with those who follow as they respect the authority of those over them.

Respect for authority builds people.

David’s actions challenged and shaped those who followed him. Although they initially disagreed with his position David’s respect for king Saul helped them grow. David helped them grow them by rebuking them when their values did not align with his. As these men witnessed David’s loyalty to Saul, they also became extremely loyal to David. These men would go on to do extraordinary exploits for David.  They knew that because David had respect for authority, he would not misuse authority when he was in power. Serving leaders serve those who follow by respecting the authority of those above them. As they do so they build the people around them.   

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my attitude towards those in authority over me? Am I able to respect them even when I don’t agree with their decisions? How does my attitude impact the way I lead?   
• How do I talk about those in authority over me? What impact does this have on my leadership as those who follow listen to my comments?
• How do I want those under my authority to view my leadership? Do I have this same view of those over me? How does this impact my ability to serve those under me?      

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how serving leaders accept authority.

David recognized authority; Absalom refused authority. How did these two leaders see authority?

During the years that David was fleeing in the desert from King Saul, he consistently referred to the king as “God’s anointed.” David recognized that authority is established by God and that Saul was the legitimate king, even when he was not a good leader. David saw authority as legitimate.

In contrast, Absalom told people coming to see David, “There is no representative of the king to hear you” (2 Samuel 15:3-4). He talked as though there was no legitimate ruler in the land. And he spoke these words within walking distance of King David’s palace! Absalom refused to recognize David’s authority as legitimate.

All leaders exercise authority and all leaders are also under authority. Many leaders expect others to recognize their authority but do not respect the authority of those over them. Servant leaders recognize authority; subversive leaders refuse authority.

David submitted to authority; Absalom subverted authority. How did these two leaders respond to authority?

Because David recognized authority came from God, he was able to submit to the authority of Saul even when the king was trying to kill him! Although he knew he was called by God to lead, he steadfastly refused to take matters into his own hands.

One time his men urged him to kill Saul. ⁴ The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. ⁵ Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. ⁶ He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” ⁷ With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way (1 Samuel 24:4-7).

Absalom responded very differently. Not only did he refuse to submit to the authority of King David, he actively rebelled against the king. David submitted even to a bad leader; Absalom refused to submit to a good leader.

Many leaders think that if the person over them would be a good leader, they would have no trouble submitting. But servant leaders learn from David and Absalom that the attitude of a leader towards authority is not determined by the one in authority. Every leader chooses how much they will respect and honor the leaders above them. Servant leaders submit to authority; subversive leaders undermine authority.

David inspired loyalty; Absalom incited rebellion. How did these two leaders influence those under them to see and respond to authority?

David’s view of authority inspired loyalty from those who followed him. They did not attack King Saul. Later, they were willing to risk their lives for David and stayed with him even when it was not clear if he would remain in authority.

Absalom’s refusal to recognize and submit to authority seemed to work at the beginning. He was able to quickly gather people around him who were eager to see him become the king. But Absalom’s followers scattered quickly and left him to die alone when the rebellion failed. “They took Absalom, threw him into a big pit in the forest and piled up a large heap of rocks over him. Meanwhile, all the Israelites fled to their homes” (2 Samuel 18:17).

Leading a rebellion is a quick path to leadership since many people have rebellion in their hearts and are attracted to a leader who rebels. As with Absalom, the momentum builds and soon a new leader is recognized. But those who gain influence through rebellion soon find themselves leading rebels! Disrespect only breeds disrespect.

Leaders are influencers and their view of authority will be passed on to others. When servant leaders see rebellion in their followers, they first look closely in the mirror. Servant leaders inspire loyalty to authority; subversive leaders incite rebellion.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

*Subversive means to seek to undermine or destroy an established system. A leader who is subversive intends to overthrow the established authority to take power for themselves.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Who are the persons in authority over me in my family, community, church, vocation, and nation? Do I recognize them as legitimate leaders or do I refuse to acknowledge them as my leaders? How is this respect, or lack of it, expressed in my words or actions? Is my attitude towards them more like David or Absalom?
• Is there any way in which I gained my position or influence by rejecting authority? In what way has this impacted the way I lead?
• What view of authority do I see in those who follow me? What does this reflect about my own view of authority?
• What steps is God inviting me to take in response to this reflection on the way David and Absalom viewed authority? When will I take these steps and who should I allow to hold me accountable?

Copyright, Global Disciples, 2018.

At a break in a conference a leader came to me and said, “People trusted me until I became a leader.” He was a part of an organization that had a deep mistrust of leaders and his comments addressed the difficulty of leading in this environment. Servant leadership is not just about the leader’s ability to lead well; it is also about those who follow.

The wise leaders who counseled King Rehoboam understood the interplay between servant leaders and followers when they said, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” (1Kings 12:7) Servant leaders working with servant followers create a dynamic team! Furthermore, every leader is also a follower in another relationship and learning to follow well is a prerequisite for effective leadership. How can you be a servant follower?

Servant followers respect the leader.

Leaders need respect. No leader is perfect and most followers are quite skillful in noting the imperfections of the leader! But servant followers recognize that leadership is a tough job. Leaders deal with many headaches and problems. Leaders must consider the perspectives of many people they lead and your opinion is only one of them! Respect is often shown in how we speak about the leader. The discussion at the water coolers or break room at the workplace and the conversation with the family around the noon meal on Sunday exposes true the hearts of the followers.

Servant followers express loyalty.

When a strong relationship exists between the leader and follower, loyalty should be a natural outcome. Loyalty simply means acknowledging and acting like we are on the same team and being supportive through good times and bad. Loyalty is not blind agreement and servant followers can and should appropriately express their opinions to the leader. In fact loyalty is often shown by the willingness to share information with the leader about what you think or what you observe in the organization. For a servant follower, this is not done with malicious intent as gossip; rather it is done to show support and loyalty to the leader.

Servant followers embrace the vision.

For an organization to move forward both followers and the leader must share a common vision. Vision can be developed in different ways in different contexts. Sometimes the creation of a vision is a group effort; in other situations, the primary leader formulates the vision. In any case, when it has been agreed upon, servant followers wholeheartedly support the vision of the organization and work enthusiastically to bring it to pass. If you are a follower and don’t agree with the vision of your leader perhaps it is time to your group a favor and move elsewhere!

Servant followers are teachable.

Servant followers deliberately place themselves in a position to learn from the leader. They realize that even when the leader makes mistakes or leads poorly, they can learn valuable lessons. Servant followers are willing to ask questions, to seek clarification, and open to counsel from their leader. They are secure enough to realize that they need to grow and deliberately learn from their leaders.

Every servant leader needs a team of servant followers. Do yourself and your leader a favor, learn to follow well!

For further reflection and discussion:

• How well do I follow? What do I need to do to improve my ability to follow well?
• How can servant leaders influence followers to be servant followers?
• In what practical ways can I show respect to a person I follow?
• What is something I can do to encourage my leader?
• Are there things I observe in my organization which I should respectfully share with my leader?