Most leaders say that their people are valuable.  But serving leaders actually love like Jesus. An intimate relationship with Jesus becomes the foundation of the way they treat their teams, make decisions and build culture. Jesus talked about this dynamic love relationship:

  ⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:9-13, NIV).  

Jesus calls His followers to live and lead with His love.

Intimate leaders experience the love of Jesus.

Jesus encourages His disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.” Jesus experienced the love of the Father, shared that love with His disciples and now urges them to deeply and permanently experience His love. He calls them to “remain” in this intimate relationship with Him. Jesus never intended for us to only know Him in our minds; He wanted us to experience His love in a way that transforms our relationship with Him. This experience with the love of Jesus should come before our attempt to love others.

Some leaders know they should love others and treat them correctly, so they work hard on people skills and the art of influence. But serving leaders cultivate an intimate experience of the love of Jesus before they try to love others. 

Intimate leaders respond to the love of Jesus. 

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love,…I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Jesus understood that genuine love for another produces a desire to please them and to do what they want. So, He immediately links loving Him with obedience. He certainly wants His followers to obey what He calls them to do. But this is not a heavy, burdensome obligation, it is a response to love. He knows that we will be tempted to obey without experiencing His love, so he links obedience with joy—complete joy!

Some leaders seek to obey rules or a moral code but find it legalistic rather than life-giving. But serving leaders have experienced the love of Jesus and from that position respond with joy to His instructions. Their obedience flows from a loving relationship rather than an obligation.

Intimate leaders imitate the love of Jesus.  

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus tells His disciples that the greatest expression of their love will be to lay down their lives for others. This is the essence of serving leadership, giving one’s life in service to others. Jesus expects this result to flow from an intimate experience of His love.

Some leaders seek to serve others because they are convinced it will produce good results. They serve their team to achieve results. They serve with their head. This is commendable but very different from serving leaders who love others in response to the love they have received from Jesus. They reflect Jesus’ love in tangible ways in their workplace. They serve with their heart. 

For further reflection and discussion:

As I reflect on my own leadership regarding how much I love like Jesus, how would I rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10?      What blocks me from loving Him more?

At what level have I experienced the love of Jesus in my own heart and soul?  Does my service for Him flow out of a sense of duty or a response to His love?

Does my obedience result in deep joy in my heart or do I continually wonder if I am doing enough?

Do I approach my daily work with a sense of moral obligations or joyful obedience that flows out of a love relationship with Jesus? How does this impact my leadership? 

Does my service to others flow out of my head or my heart? Is my concern for my team based on universal leadership realities or my intimacy with Jesus?

After reflecting on these questions, read the entire chapter, John 15. What additional insights do I find in this chapter about how my intimacy with Jesus shapes my leadership?  

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how intimate leaders are friends of Jesus.

One of the marks of Timothy’s great leadership was his ability to connect with people from different generations. Consider these instructions from Paul:

¹Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity (1 Timothy 5:1–2, NIV).

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

 As Timothy followed these instructions he learned, even as a young leader, how to connect with and lead those who were older and those who were younger.

Timothy connected across generations by respecting consciously.

As Paul talked to Timothy about how to relate to other generations he used the analogy of a family. He challenged Timothy to treat the older generation like fathers and mothers, and younger persons like sisters and brothers. Healthy families treat parents with respect and care tenderly for those who are younger. Good families show conscious respect for the different generations.

Some leaders focus on the task that is to be done with no consideration of the person doing the task. They expect production and treat everyone by the same standard. Serving leaders learn to consciously respect and value those who are from other generations. They listen to and gain wisdom from those who are older and have more experience. They treat younger persons with gentleness as they learn and grow.

Timothy connected across generations by talking carefully.

Paul tells Timothy, “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.” Correction is one of the most difficult tasks in leadership and doing it with those who are from another generation adds complexity! Timothy learns to talk carefully by thinking of the older man as a father and reflecting on how he would address a problem with his father.

Leaders often rebuke or correct with little thought about the person receiving the correction. They see themselves as the boss and assume that others should change when they bring correction no matter how it is delivered. But serving leaders focus on the person as a human being with their own need to be valued and respected. They carefully adjust their correction by considering the age and specific needs of that individual.  

Timothy connected across generations by loving completely.

Paul challenged the young leader Timothy to be an example in many areas including love. Generational differences require greater effort to understand and appreciate. A heart of love is fundamental to bridge these gaps.  

Some leaders view love as a ‘soft’ leadership trait that has little value. But at the heart of serving leaders is a genuine care for others, a desire to see them succeed and thrive. Because they love, serving leaders seek to understand and appreciate those from different generations, both those who are older and those who are younger. They listen and ask questions to gain understanding and then adjust their leadership to meet the needs of those they serve. As they exercise effective leadership they build strong, multi-generational teams.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How would I describe my leadership towards those who are older? Younger? Do I find it easier to connect with those who are older or those who are younger? Why? How can I develop stronger connections with persons from other generations that I lead?
• Reflect on those you lead. What can I do to encourage them to develop greater inter-generational understanding?       
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 2 Timothy 2:22-26 and 3:2. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy understood and lead with the unique challenges of different generations?  

For further learning on this topic, I highly recommend Tim Elmore’s book, A New Kind of Diversity, which focuses on the broad spectrum of generations currently in the workforce and the value each brings to the team.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler In the next issue, we’ll examine how Timothy learned to teach.

We have observed how Paul developed Timothy, one of the emerging leaders on his team. There were many deliberate acts of serving leadership that Paul took with Timothy and each is instructive. But in this final issue we’ll step back from some of the specific actions to the heart that shaped Paul’s actions: his love for those he served.

For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church (1 Corinthians 4:17, NIV).

Paul speaks of Timothy as “my son whom I love…” Love may seem like a ‘soft’ skill of leadership but love is powerful and was the foundation of all that Paul did. Paul’s love for Timothy began as he chose Timothy and was expressed in all he did to develop him. Because he loved Timothy he showed him the way, empowered him, stretched him, released him, followed him and encouraged him. Serving leaders learn from Paul what is required to have a heart of love for those they serve.

Loving other leaders requires selflessness.

Paul talks about Timothy in a way that elevates him in the eyes of those who read his message. Timothy “my son…who is faithful…he will remind you…” Paul was focused on Timothy, not on himself. He was sending Timothy to represent him on a critical mission. This selflessness is at the heart of serving leadership. Some leaders can’t get past themselves and all they say and do is directed towards making themselves look good. But serving leaders focus on those they serve. They use their leadership influence to build others up and to affirm and bless gifts in the emerging leader.  Serving leaders recognize that leadership is not all about them, it’s about those they serve. Serving leaders love because they are selfless.

Loving other leaders requires surrender.

Paul was willing to surrender some of his own power and authority as he sent this letter through Timothy to the church in Corinth. “I have sent to you Timothy…” Paul delegated his authority to this young leader and trusted him to serve well. It was a risk that placed Paul in a very vulnerable position, but he loved Timothy enough to release power to him. Some leaders are afraid to release control. But serving leaders surrender power and authority to see others raised up. Serving leaders love through surrender.

Loving other leaders requires security.  

Paul was able to love Timothy from a place of deep security in his own leadership. He was not threatened by Timothy’s gifts or abilities. He was secure enough to allow Timothy to represent him to the church. He was secure enough to elevate Timothy’s gifts and calling. Paul’s security was rooted in his “life in Christ Jesus.” His leadership was anchored in something much deeper than his role or gifting, it was in a relationship with Jesus. Some leaders fear that emerging leaders will become better than they are. They see the gifts of others as a threat to themselves. But serving leaders know who they are, they are secure in their gifts and callings. From that place of security they can bless and affirm the gifts of others, even when the emerging leader is better than they are. Serving leaders understand that focusing on others does not diminish who they. Instead serving leaders are secure enough to release and empower others. Serving leaders love because they are secure.

Serving leaders do many things to develop those around them. But at the heart of it all is a love for those they serve.

For further reflection and discussion:

• On a scale of 1 to 10 how much is my own leadership shaped by love? What is the impact that has on my leadership?
• Is my leadership primarily focused on myself or on those I lead? What actions in the past week demonstrate this? What one step can I take this week to improve? 
• How easily do I release control to others? What example can I give in my leadership of my willingness (or lack of willingness) to surrender power and authority to others? Where do I need to take more risks on releasing those I serve?
• Do my leadership actions flow out of a place of personal security, or do they reflect my own insecurities? What can I do this week to anchor my leadership on a deeper foundation?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

Special Offer: If you would like all the issues from Paul’s Leadership Pipeline in a PDF format, click here to download.

In the next issue, we’ll begin a series looking at the life of Timothy, the other side of Paul’s Leadership Pipeline.

Serving leaders ask themselves hard questions about who they are becoming. As they gain clarity and direction about their focus, they also serve those they lead by encouraging them to walk the same journey of discovery. They desire that Paul’s instructions are helpful not only for their own lives but also for those they serve. “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV).

Serving leaders seek to call forth the best in those who follow. They desire the transformation indicated in this verse. And they are not afraid to ask probing questions that will guide others on their leadership journey. They recognize that asking questions rather than giving answers allows those they lead to grow and develop their own capacity to think and to reflect. So They serve by asking those who follow, “Who are you becoming?” Where helpful they are willing to offer their own observations but are willing to simply lay the question before the person and allow them to reflect. Serving leaders acknowledge that this question is a deep question for one’s soul and not a means of doing a performance assessment! As they gently ask this question of those who follow, they examine their motives to ensure that their only desire is genuine care for the other person and a desire to see them grow. They refuse to ask this question as an underhanded way to address visible problems. They serve in love by respecting the level of openness the person offers in response. As they invite others to ponder this question, they ask it with several purposes in their mind.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to reveal direction.

Where appropriate serving leaders may invite those who follow to reflect on their own growth journey by asking, “Are you becoming the spouse/parent/community leader/worker you want to become? Are there ways I can help you move in the direction you want to go? Are there any roadblocks I can remove from your path?” Serving leaders recognize that those who follow them are changing and moving either consciously or unconsciously. They raise the question to bring awareness to their followers of the direction in which they are moving. The question recognizes the uniqueness of each individual and is less concerned about the position on the journey than the direction of the journey.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to redirect focus.

Serving leaders know their own tendency to lose the correct focus, so they can gently ask those who follow, “Who is influencing you the most? Where do you go for ideas and inspiration? Is this taking you in the direction you want to go?” The question serves as a reminder to the follower that focus is critical in determining direction.

Serving leaders ask “Who are you becoming?“ to release transformation.

The goal of the serving leader is to equip, empower and release the persons who follow. They desire the best for their lives, not only in the role in which they serve the organization but in their entire lives. They serve those who follow by helping them become the people that they were designed to be. So, they ask, “Who are you becoming?” to encourage them to experience the power of transformation in their own lives.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I have enough love and concern for those I lead to ask them “Who are you becoming?” If not, what does this indicate about my heart and what do I need to change? If so, when will I begin to ask them this question?
• Before I ask anyone the question “Who are you becoming?” do I have any hidden motives about why I will ask them this question? Is my desire to help them genuine and does it go beyond my concern for their work performance?
• Am I willing to simply ask the question of others and not demand a response from them? Am I willing to offer my own observations only if requested by that person?               

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at a question serving leaders ask themselves:  “What is in my hand?”

We have been slowly trying to understand what Paul means to speak the truth in love in Ephesians 4:15. Balancing the desire to love with the need for truth is enough of a challenge for most leaders. But the leadership challenge multiplies when Paul adds 14 distinct characteristics of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7!

By this time in the journey, you may be asking, “How long do I need to speak truth in love? Is there no end? What happens when I grow weary of speaking truth to people who don’t change?”

Paul concludes his explanation of love by reminding us that love always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love keeps trying after others have stopped. It does not quit! Servant leaders learn what it means to speak the truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance requires balance.

Some leaders speak truth but quit when they don’t see the results they desire. They allow their own discouragement to stop them from speaking truth. Other leaders may persevere in a relationship for a long time but never take the step of speaking truth. Both truth and perseverance are needed.

Because love always hopes, love doesn’t quit or give up. Through good times and bad, true love perseveres. Is there someone you once loved and tried to speak the truth to, but gave up when nothing seemed to change? Paul says to us all, love always perseveres. Love tries again….and again!

Servant leaders learn that there is never a time to stop speaking truth!

Speaking the truth with perseverance reveals maturity.

Paul reminds us that when we speak truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking truth with perseverance requires great patience, faithfulness and self-control. All these are fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) that take time for God to develop in our hearts.

As leaders grow in maturity, they learn not to give up quickly on others. They recognize that truth may take months or years to produce fruit in the life of the listener. As servant leaders mature, they grow in their ability to speak truth with perseverance.

Speaking the truth with perseverance reflects Jesus.

Jesus showed a balance of truth and perseverance in His conversations with Peter. We have already observed how patiently Jesus waited before speaking the truth to Peter after his painful denial of Christ.

When the time was finally right, Jesus spoke truth to Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. And when Jesus spoke truth He persevered, asking the same question three times. The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).

Peter was hurt because of Jesus’ persistence in asking this question. But Jesus kept on, gently reminding Peter of the three times he had denied Christ. Jesus exposed Peter’s pain so that Peter could be healed and accomplish his calling as a leader in the early church. His love finally broke Peter’s heart.

What if Jesus would have given up on Peter the night of the betrayal? Or if he would have asked only once, “Do you love me?” Jesus knew that He needed to persevere in speaking truth to Peter.

Like Jesus, servant leaders learn that love does not stop even when pain is exposed. They learn from Him to speak truth with perseverance.  

Love and truth. Servant leaders are called to speak both in balance. And with Jesus as a guide, they learn that truth is spoken patiently, with kindness, without boasting, without pride, in ways that honor the other, without self-seeking, without anger, without a record of wrongs, with rejoicing, and always protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak “truth” with perseverance or to give up when I don’t see results? What is the result in my leadership? 
• When have I spoken truth, but didn’t persevere? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?  
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke truth with perseverance? What can I learn from His example?
• As you reflect on the past 15 issues which focused on speaking the truth in love, which area needs more attention? Take some time to look back and allow God to guide your response.

Paul continues to challenge servant leaders to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).But will speaking truth in love accomplish the change we desire? Since Paul recognizes that we might be tempted to avoid speaking the truth because we can’t predict the outcome, he also tells us that love always hopes (1 Corinthians 13:7).So, servant leaders are called to speak the truth with hope. What does it mean to hope as we speak truth?

We normally use the word ‘hope’ to mean a wish, something we desire to be true. A servant leader may desire to speak the truth in hope that the listener will respond with change. But this is not what Paul meant when he said that love always hopes. In the Bible, hope has a much stronger meaning. Biblical hope is a confident belief in what God has promised. We hope in what is not yet seen. The source of hope is not our desire but in God’s faithfulness. In the last issue we looked at speaking truth with trust. The focus of trust is on the other person; the focus of hope is on God.

So, as servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope, their foundation is not in what they ‘hope’ will happen. Instead their hope is in God’s ability to take truth and accomplish His purposes both in their lives and in the lives of the listener. They may or may not see the outcome, but servant leaders are called to speak truth with hope based on God’s faithfulness.

Speaking the truth with hope requires balance.

Some leaders may face a situation that requires change but hesitate to speak the truth. They conclude that since their hope is in God, they will keep quiet and allow God to produce the change. Their hope is in God, but they are not speaking truth!

A balance is needed. Love requires that truth be spoken with hope in God, not the person involved. Servant leaders learn that their hope in God’s work is combined with their willingness to speak truth.

Speaking the truth with hope reveals maturity.

Young leaders may speak truth to someone who walks away with no visible change. When nothing happens, the immature leader may speak truth again, but a little louder. They believe more energy on their part will accomplish greater change for the listener! Finally, in disappointment, the leader concludes that it’s better not to keep speaking the truth.

But with maturity, servant leaders learn to speak truth with hope. This hope is not in the person, but in God’s ability to use truth to do His work. They have a deep confidence that what is spoken in love will ultimately accomplish God’s purposes even if they don’t see it visibly. Servant leaders also recognize that part of God’s purposes may be developing patience in them as they wait to see what they hope for!

Speaking the truth with hope reflects Jesus.

Jesus speaks truth with hope when the rich young ruler comes to him and asks what he needs to do to inherit eternal life. Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me” (Mark 10:21).

Jesus could have tried to make the truth less demanding, but He loved the man too much to ignore the truth. He knew that the young ruler might turn away, as he did after hearing Jesus’ words. But Jesus spoke truth with hope, believing that at any time God could turn this difficult situation around.

Immediately He told His disciples, all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27).We do not know if change ever occurred for this young ruler. But Jesus spoke truth with a deep hope in God’s ability to change the situation. And He teaches servant leaders to do the same!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak ‘truth’ with hope in God or in the person to whom I’m speaking? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with hope in God? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus showed His deep hope as He spoke the truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Paul calls all of us to speak with truth and love. Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15).

Speaking truth can be a scary thing! We might be afraid that it will not be well received. Or we might be afraid that the truth will cause more harm than good. It can be difficult to trust that the listener will receive our words well. So, Paul adds more insight when he says that love always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7).

What does it mean to trust as we speak truth? Trust is a strong belief in the other person. Servant leaders base their trust on God’s dependability, not on the performance of that person. They choose to believe that the person is worthy of love because of God’s love for each of us.

Trust does not mean that a leader blindly opens their hearts to a person who has shown themselves to be untrustworthy. Trust is earned, but a leader can speak truth in love trusting that God will use it for the good of that person. Speaking truth with trust means extending grace to others and choosing to trust them even more than they deserve. Love is willing to take the risk. Servant leaders learn to push back their fear and speak truth with trust.

Speaking the truth with trust requires balance.

Some leaders may hesitate to speak the truth because they have no confidence in the person to whom they are speaking. They are suspicious of the other person’s heart, perhaps because of some pain in the past from this relationship. The pain or suspicion keeps them quiet and the truth is not spoken. Another leader may believe the best about someone and hope that they will change on their own without hearing the truth. This leader fails to lovingly share the truth.

Other leaders may speak truth but do it with little trust that it will bring growth or change. They recall past mistakes and focus on the failures of the other person. They expect nothing to change. Paul reminds servant leaders to clearly speak the truth that is balanced with trust.

Speaking the truth with trust reveals maturity.

As we learn to speak truth with trust, Paul reminds us that we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Learning to speak truth with trust takes time. Immature leaders may allow their hurt to prevent them from speaking truth when a person shows he or she is untrustworthy. The pain of these difficult experiences makes it difficult to trust others. It takes time and much experience to be able to wisely discern how and when to trust, and to have the courage to risk believing for the best in others. Servant leaders ask Jesus to help them balance truth and trust as they mature as leaders.

Speaking the truth with trust reflects Jesus.

Jesus provides a great example of speaking the truth with trust to Thomas, the disciple that we identify with doubting. He was the last disciple to believe that Jesus rose from the dead. But Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:27-29).

To the one who doubted Him the most, Jesus spoke tender words of truth and offered a wounded man hope. He did not ignore the unpleasant truth that Thomas doubted. But He spoke with confidence that Thomas would believe. His words invited Thomas to grow and change and they transformed his life. Jesus spoke truth with trust and He teaches servant leaders to do the same.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is my natural tendency to speak “truth with trust” or to be “suspicious”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with trust? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Is there a relationship in which I have experienced deep hurt that makes it difficult to speak with trust? How might Jesus invite me to speak truth with trust in this relationship?
• How can I speak truth with trust to someone who has clearly shown themselves to be untrustworthy?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke the truth with trust? What can I learn from His example?

We are beginning to recognize that it is not a simple matter to follow Paul’s instruction to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) because he challenges our understanding of love when he lists the actions of love. One of these actions is that love “always protects” (1 Corinthians 13:7).So, servant leaders learn to speak truth while protecting. What does it mean for a leader to protect the other person as they speak truth?

Servant leaders protect the humanity of the other, seeing them as a fellow human being created in the image of God. When correction is needed, they protect the dignity of the other by sharing privately, not by shaming them in public. Servant leaders protect the honor of the other person by expecting the best from that person. They protect that person by choosing the right time to speak and selecting the location that will most likely allow the truth to be received.

Everything the servant leader does is focused on the needs of the other and how to make it most likely that they will receive the truth spoken with deep love. They express their love by protecting as they speak truth.

Speaking the truth while protecting requires balance.

Some leaders speak the truth with little concern about how it will impact the person listening. They speak quickly and put everything out at once. They live by the principle, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free!” They love the truth more than the person to whom they are speaking truth.

Other leaders focus on the feelings of the other person and are so concerned with not offending or hurting the relationship that they ignore the truth.

A balance is needed. Servant leaders learn to speak truth that is balanced with concern to protect the listener.

Speaking the truth while protecting reveals maturity.

Immature leaders either ignore the truth or speak it quickly without concern for the other person. It takes the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit to develop love in the life of the leader so that the focus is on the person receiving the truth.

Mature servant leaders learn that truth is valuable, but people are more precious. The person should be protected, not from the truth itself, but from anything which would cause the truth to not be received. Demonstrating this depth of love requires time for the leader to become mature.

Speaking the truth while protecting reflects Jesus.

Jesus boldly spoke truth, but He also expressed love by protecting those who needed to hear it. When the woman caught in adultery was brought to Him in John 8, Jesus spoke truth but protected this woman. He literally protected her physically from those who were accusing her with the truth. They came armed with the truth and were ready to kill her. Jesus protected her life. In the end all her accusers left, and Jesus was alone with this hurting woman.

He protected her dignity by not speaking at all about her sin until He was alone with her. Her accusers loudly spoke the truth in the open and with the intent to condemn. Jesus protected her dignity by not speaking at all about her sin until they were alone. He was concerned about the timing and location when He would speak truth. He stooped down, humbling Himself in her presence, protecting her dignity as a human being and valuable person.

Finally, when the time was right to speak directly to her, Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus lovingly spoke truth while protecting and He shows servant leaders how to do the same.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” or to “protect the other person from the truth”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but did not protect the person? In what way did I not protect them? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke the truth while protecting the listener? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Paul warns against delighting in what is evil. Servant leaders do not rejoice in the sin or wrong in another persons’ life. But they rejoice with the truth! Servant leaders rejoice when the truth can be spoken and joyfully anticipate a response to the truth which will bring greater freedom and joy to that person’s soul.

Rejoicing as we speak truth delights in the opportunity to speak into the life of another person for their good. It reflects a focus on the other rather than self. It is this focus on the other which reveals a true heart of love and allows the servant leader to speak the truth with rejoicing.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing requires balance.

Some leaders may find a mistake or wrong in someone’s life and find delight in exposing it, feeling justified that the ‘truth has been revealed.’ There may be secret pride in the leader feeling that in some way he/she is better than the other because a wrong has been revealed. The words spoken may be true, but they are not loving.

Other leaders may see the wrong and not be willing to speak the truth because they don’t want to appear to be “delighting in evil.” This leader only wants to focus on the positive in the other and rejoice in what is right. Paul tells us that a balance is needed. Truth should be spoken but with the right attitude. A servant leader carefully guards against delighting in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reveals maturity.

Learning to rejoice at the right things reflects our level of maturity. Paul made it clear that as we learn how to speak the truth in love, “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). This growth is a process and takes time to develop.

An immature leader may see the need to speak truth but do it out of a sense of duty or obligation, as one of the tasks of leadership. This is especially true when the truth which needs to be spoken may be painful or difficult for the other person to receive. This leader may focus on what it will ‘cost’ to take the time and energy to speak the truth. The focus is on oneself, not the other person.

As leaders mature, Christ changes their hearts to be more loving and to focus on the needs of the other instead of self. Even when truth needs to expose something wrong or sinful in another person’s life, the servant leader does not rejoice in what is wrong but finds delight in helping the other person to grow by speaking the truth with love.

Speaking the truth with rejoicing reflects Jesus.

Jesus never delighted in evil but rejoiced in speaking the truth. After Simon Peter acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah, Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).

Jesus was able to focus on the blessing for Simon Peter and rejoiced in what God had revealed to him. Jesus was not envious that Peter had received this revelation, He rejoiced! And although Peter’s revelation was all about Jesus’ identity, Jesus does not focus on Himself, but on Peter. He continued to talk about Peter’s destiny to become a significant leader in the church. Servant leaders learn from Jesus to rejoice as they speak the truth in love.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to “delight in evil” or “rejoice in the truth”? What is the result in my leadership?   
• When have I spoken truth, but was inwardly proud that I was able to expose the wrong in the other person? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person with whom I spoke?  
• Read Matthew 16:13-23 and reflect more on Jesus’ communication with Peter. What can I observe about how Jesus kept the focus on Peter instead of Himself? Am I able to do this when someone gives me a compliment? What can I learn about speaking the truth in love from Jesus’ rebuke of Peter in verse 23? Was this spoken in love?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus rejoiced as He spoke truth? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs requires balance.

Some leaders will focus on the truth: that wrongs have been done and they have been repeated! When the focus is on the “record of wrongs,” leaders respond with their own emotion of pain for the wrongs done against them. This is often an angry outburst which includes a reference to the number of wrongs: “You hurt me four times now; enough is enough!” In this response, the focus is on how the wrong has impacted the leader, not on how to help the other overcome their mistakes.

Other leaders may focus on not keeping a record of wrongs, but in doing so, they do not speak the truth! Their response after several mistakes is, “Oh, that’s nothing major, don’t worry about it!” They do not acknowledge the wrong and therefore don’t help the person to improve.

Servant leaders recognize that a balance is needed. Truth must be expressed, but the focus should not be on the number of times a mistake has been made. Remembering wrongs and keeping a record of the wrongs are two different things. Leaders cannot choose to forget what has happened in the past. But they can consciously choose not to allow the ‘record’ of wrongs to dictate their current emotions or response.

A healthy response may be to say to the person, “This has happened several times now, can we talk about what is causing this?” Here, the truth is addressed, but without the accusation of the past failures. Servant leaders learn to focus on the needs of the other to grow rather than their own need to recall!

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs reveals maturity.

It is natural to keep a list of offenses against us—we do it without training! When the offense of the other person is repeated, we naturally begin to react with strong emotions, often anger, towards the person. Then our response may contain ‘truth’ but it is shaped by the record of wrongs. Paul would remind us that this is not love. Our focus in on self and retaliation rather than on helping the other person.

It takes maturity of character not to use that list of wrongs against another person. Mature leaders speak what the other needs to hear, not what they feel like saying! Servant leaders grow as they realize that the ‘truth’ of their own condition is that they have also repeated mistakes often and have been forgiven often. As Jesus shapes their hearts, they can extend the same grace to others.

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs reflects Jesus.

Jesus is the one who taught us to forgive others at least 77 times! (See Matthew 18:22.) But He was not encouraging us to remind people of the number of times they failed!

He demonstrated this when He greatly desired the prayers of His three closest disciples. They failed once, then twice and then a third time when Jesus comes back, and they are sleeping again. Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” (Mark 14:41-42).

I would have been tempted to respond with only the truth, “You’ve had three chances to pray for me and you have failed me three times!” Or I might have minimized the wrong and said only, “Let’s go!”

Jesus spoke truth when He said, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough!” But He didn’t remind them of how many times they had done wrong. He didn’t react from His own disappointment and didn’t need to remind them that this was their failure number three! He spoke truth with no record of wrongs.

Servant leaders learn from Jesus to speak truth with no record of wrongs.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak “truth” by reminding others of their past record or to avoid the painful truth from the past? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but also reacted to others because of their previous mistakes? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Do I need to ask forgiveness from that person?
• What other times in Jesus’ life and ministry reveal that Jesus did not keep a record of wrongs? How did He speak truth in those situations without reminding people of their history? What can I learn from Him that I need to practice in a current relationship?
• We’ve been looking at many ways we are called to speak truth in love and we have a few more to examine. In what ways is my speech changing?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.