Imagine a situation where James, the person helping you organize a large event, makes room assignments without considering the social status of the assigned roommates and it results in many complaints.

How will you respond? You could make a quick announcement to the group, “I’m sorry that James didn’t do the room assignments as I requested. Please bear with us as we correct this situation.”

Is it the truth? Yes! Is it said without dishonoring? No! (Ask James if he felt honored!) Servant leaders learn to speak truth without dishonor.

Speaking the truth without dishonoring requires balance.

Truth cannot be compromised for honor. Neither should honor be compromised for the truth. Both are needed in proper balance. Some cultures and some personalities will more easily speak truth while other cultures focus on honor. Some leaders naturally focus on honoring the person. They avoid shame at all costs so find it very difficult to speak truth.

In the situation with James, they might simply keep quiet, not wanting to make James look bad or feel bad about his mistake. Truth is not spoken. With this leader, James will not hear the truth and is likely to repeat the mistake another time.

Other leaders, such as in the scenario above, would quickly speak the truth with little regard for how it may impact James. But Paul calls servant leaders to love the truth and to love the person who needs the truth.

Speaking the truth without dishonoring reveals maturity.

It is easy to honor truth or to honor the person, but not easy to balance them both. Leaders often make mistakes on the journey towards a mature ability to speak truth without dishonoring. But they learn from their mistakes and adjust their manner of speaking as they grow. When a leader has a genuine desire to speak truth but still to honor the person, they will consider how their own natural tendencies and the culture in which they live, may influence them towards truth or honor.

Different cultures demonstrate honor in different ways, so leaders consider carefully how loudly they speak, what titles they use, and whether they use direct eye contact. Most cultures show honor by giving a rebuke or correction privately. A mature leader will not publicly rebuke someone unless there is a clear need to do so, as Paul did with Peter in Galatians 2:11-21. In this situation, Paul spoke publicly because Peter’s hypocrisy was impacting the whole group. Servant leaders reveal maturity by balancing truth and honor.

Speaking the truth without dishonoring reflects Jesus.

Jesus spoke truth while honoring people. He did not use shame to motivate a change in behavior. The woman caught in adultery (John 8) is one example of a time He spoke truth and showed honor.

The woman had clearly done wrong and everyone knew it. The Pharisees publicly shamed her and were ready to stone her to death. Jesus first did not answer their questions except to write on the ground. Finally, He said to her accusers, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7). After everyone left, Jesus was alone with the woman and said to her, “Then neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).

Jesus, the only one who had a right to accuse, did not. He offered forgiveness! But He also spoke truth and called her to “leave your life of sin.” He spoke truth without dishonoring. The woman entered in shame and dishonor; she left rebuked but loved and honored by Jesus. Servant leaders seek to follow His example as they learn to speak the truth without dishonoring others.
 

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” or not to dishonor? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but dishonored the person? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• In my culture, which is more highly valued: truth or honor? How does this impact my ability to speak truth without dishonor?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke the truth in a way that honored the person involved? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019. 

All that we have already observed about David’s leadership happened before he had any position! His early life illustrates that leadership is not defined by position. But now, at 30 years of age, David begins to rule as king, first over a portion of the nation and finally over a united kingdom (Read the entire story in 2 Samuel 2-5). As he begins to lead as the king, his life illustrates to all servant leaders how a leadership position can be used for God’s glory.

Honor the former leader.

When David was told that it was the men from Jabesh Gilead who had buried Saul, he sent messengers to them to say to them, “The Lord bless you for showing this kindness to Saul your master by burying him. May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this (2 Samuel 2:4-6). David had already learned how submit to Saul, and he continued to honor him even after his death. He never recounted Saul’s weaknesses. Servant leaders recognize that those who have led before are worthy of honor, no matter how poorly they led.

Allow time to build relationships.

The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker (2 Samuel 3:1). It took 7 years before the entire kingdom was ready to follow David. It was a terrible time with lots of politics and fighting. David slowly and carefully won the hearts of people. During this time they watched his character and his heart. He demonstrates that servant leaders build relationships by touching people’s hearts before they ask for their hands. This is not a quick process.

Lead people to victory.

One of David’s first actions as a king was to establish Jerusalem as the capital. The king and his men marched to Jerusalem to attack the Jebusites, who lived there. The Jebusites said to David, “You will not get in here; even the blind and the lame can ward you off.” They thought, “David cannot get in here.” Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion—which is the City of David (2 Samuel 5:6-7). David wisely knew that the energy the nation spent fighting and bickering needed to be channeled in more productive ways so he led them to conquer new territory. Servant leaders lead others to victory. They are not trying to make a name for themselves, but they serve others by helping define and achieve God’s priorities for their organization.

Keep a humble heart.

With time David enjoyed more and more favor in his new position and increased in power. But he was able to keep his focus on God and keep a humble heart. And he became more and more powerful, because the Lord God Almighty was with him (2 Samuel 5:10). All leaders face the temptation to become proud when they have power. David increased in power but recognized that his success was not because of his own strength but because of God’s presence in his life.

David learned many difficult lessons early on his leadership journey which allowed him to lead well without a position. These lessons helped him continue as a servant leader when he moved from the desert to the throne. Wherever we are in our own leadership journey, we can learn from his example to use any position we have for the glory of God.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Reflect on your response to the leader who preceded you in your current position. What was your response to that person when you took the leadership and how did it impact your influence? Are there things you need to do even now to honor that person?
• What happens to a leader in a new position if they don’t take time to build relationships with those they lead? Reflect on your own position and evaluate the health of the relationships you have with those you lead.
• Why is it important to have a victory if you lead in a new position? What is the impact on the leader and the followers? What happens when there is no victory? What happens if victory is focused on the new leader and not the goals of the followers?
• Why is it so difficult to lead with humility from a high position? Talk to someone you know who has succeeded in keeping a humble heart with a big title and ask them how they do it.

In the previous issue we examined the need to think about change. Now, let’s talk about what it means to put those thoughts into action, leading for a change! The word CHANGE is a roadmap that will guide you as you lead change in your business, church, or community.

Communicate vision.

Leaders share the vision with others allowing them to see the need for change in a way that inspires action. They communicate clearly, convincingly, and continually. Servant leaders are honest about the cost of change and the results of failure to change but are also able to paint a compelling picture of what will happen when change is accomplished. They create a sense of need, urgency and hope that things can be better. This hope is the great motivator that inspires action.

Honor people.

Servant leaders guide the process of change to develop others and to reach the objectives of the group, not simply to feed their own ambitions for success. They honor others in the process of change by identifying key influencers that will help bring change and allow them to influence those who respond more slowly.

Anticipate resistance.

Don’t expect everyone to jump up and down when you announce change! Change is often accompanied by a fear of loss which may be loss of the familiar, a sense of identity, or loss of traditions and history. Look for it in advance, identify those who will be most likely to resist the change, and find ways to work with them.

Navigate the process.

Leading change requires leaders who know where they are going and what steps will be required to get there. They communicate this process, get involved in it, and keep people focused on the goal as they move through the changes. Servant leaders not only develop a plan of action, but model the change and build momentum by beginning with small steps that show how things can improve and celebrating all victories.

Give time.

True change always takes time and usually longer than the leader expects! Servant leaders recognize that it takes longer to lead through a change process than to begin something new and they love people enough to patiently walk through the process. One experienced executive was often heard advising staff, “Make haste slowly.”

Evaluate effectiveness.

Good leaders are not afraid to ask tough questions to evaluate their effectiveness. Not only do servant leaders objectively measure success, but they are willing to ask if they have honored people in the change process.

Leaders are not needed to maintain the status quo; managers can handle that function. But when change is needed, servant leaders step up to the challenge, issue a call for change, and guide others through the process. God will use you to bring change, serve others by doing it well!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What significant change is needed in my organization?
• What is my motive for change? Is it serving my own agenda or the needs of others?
• Who are the opinion leaders who will need to change before others follow? How will I honor people as I guide this process of change?
• How much time do I anticipate that the change will require?
• What do I need to do to navigate the process for others?