All leaders fail, but not all leaders find ways to make failure fruitful. The fear of failure often keeps leaders from moving forward and the pain of failure keeps them from trying again. Effective leaders turn failures into opportunities to grow by changing their perception of and response to failure.

This series will look at failure through the lens of one of the most public failures of the Bible, David’s sin with Bathsheba, a failure that is still talked about thousands of years later! This well-known story is found in 2 Samuel 11-12 where we learn that David committed adultery with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, and then plotted Uriah’s death. We’ll focus not so much on the details of his failure but on Psalm 51, which is his cry for forgiveness and his reflection on his failure. We’ll use the word “FAILS” to learn five principles that helped David respond to his failure in ways that brought fruit from his failure. The first is to Find a new definition of failure. David acknowledged his sinfulness but refused to let that define him.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you (Psalm 51:3, 5-7, 12-13, NIV).

How did David define his failure and what can we learn from him?

Failure is an event, not an identity.

David clearly acknowledged that he had failed. “I know my transgressions…” At the same time, he cried out to God for cleansing in expectation that his sin could be forgiven and his joy restored. He saw his failure as an event, as something which had happened. But the failure was not his identity. His posture was essentially “I failed, but I’m not a failure.”

Some leaders allow failure to define them. They see themselves as failures and dwell on how badly they have done wrong. But serving leaders see failure as an event, not an identity. They can say with David, “Yes, I failed, but I’m not a failure.”

Failure is an opportunity for a new beginning.

David was in the depths of grief and sorrow as he reflected on his sin. Yet, he was able to see a glimpse of the future and declared that after his restoration, “I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.” He refused to see his failure as the end of the road for his influence. By faith, he could see how God would allow him to use his failure to help others.

Some leaders acknowledge their sin and assume that it’s the end of their ability to influence. But serving leaders believe that God will even use their failures to advance His purposes through their lives.

Failure is a universal human experience.

David does not minimize or excuse his sin, but he recognizes that human failure is a universal experience. He sees that he is not the only sinner in the world; there are other “transgressors” who have also failed as he has. He would not allow his failure to distance him from others but would use it to strengthen his connection with others who have also failed.

Some leaders allow their failures to isolate them from others. But serving leaders use their failures to associate more deeply with others.

For further reflection and discussion:

How do I normally see my failures, as an event or an identity? How has this impacted my response to failure?

Are there times that I have failed and allowed that failure to keep me from dreaming of ways that God could use me in the future? What has been the impact of this view on my life and leadership? What would change if I saw the same failure as an opportunity for a new beginning?

When I fail, do I allow the failure to isolate me from others, or do I use it to associate more with others? What difference does this make in my leadership? How do I move towards using my failures to bring me closer to others?

Read again the account of David’s failure in 2 Samuel 11-12, and his psalm of repentance, Psalm 51. What additional insights do you learn about failure from this story?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how to accept responsibility for your failures.

Leaders make mistakes and those they lead make mistakes! But there are many ways that leaders respond to the mistakes. Their response indicates their own level of security as a leader. The story of Joseph is a model of leadership in many ways. When Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, it was not only a mistake but a terrible wrong done to Joseph. His response to them after he revealed himself to them is remarkable.  

⁵ And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ⁶ For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. ⁷ But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance (Gen. 45:5-7, NIV).

The response of Joseph to his brothers indicates grace and forgiveness and the deep security he had as a leader. He models the way secure leaders view the mistakes of others.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they understand their role towards those they serve.

Joseph acknowledges the hand of God in his own life even through the mistakes of his brothers. He sees that “it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.” He was secure in understanding God’s plan for his own life and understood that the mistakes of others would not change who he was or what God wanted to do with his life. His role was given by God and was not for his own benefit, but to serve others.

Insecure leaders see mistakes of others as directly impacting their role and their value. When mistakes happen, they react based on how they perceive it will impact them. But secure leaders act out of the confidence they have in God’s control and realize that the mistakes of others do not raise or lower their call to lead.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they care about the emotions of those they serve.  

Joseph knew his brothers would struggle with feelings of guilt and be angry at themselves. So he tells them, “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here.” He was secure enough to think of how they felt, not simply about his own emotions. Joseph was emotionally healthy. He had worked through his own deep emotions and was now able to care for others.

Insecure leaders think only of their own emotions. When mistakes are made, they may react in anger, disgust, or contempt. They reflect on how the mistake of another impacts their own image. But secure leaders can focus on the emotions of the person who made the mistake and care about what they feel.

Secure leaders accept mistakes because they want the best for those they serve.

“But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.”  Joseph was able to focus on his brothers and how their mistake would help provide for their own needs, not his own. He was in his position to serve others and meet their needs, not his own.  

Insecure leaders evaluate mistakes by how it will impact their own role or position.  But secure leaders are focused on what is best for those they serve and accept mistakes as an opportunity to serve. If the person who made a mistake needs encouragement, they encourage. If they need coaching, they provide it. If the person needs to experience a consequence for their mistake, they also provide that, but not from anger or a desire for revenge but out of a heart to serve. Secure leaders want the best for others.

For further reflection and discussion:  

• How have I led myself in regard to my own mistakes? Have I grown to the point that I accept my own mistakes as a part of my journey or do I expect perfection from myself? How does this impact my response when others make mistakes?
• When someone I lead makes a mistake, do I evaluate that based on how it impacts me, or how it impacts the person who made the mistake? What impact do the mistakes of others have on how I view myself and my role?
• When someone under my leadership makes a mistake, is my default response to focus on my own emotions or the emotions of the person who made the mistake? How does that impact my leadership?
• When someone I lead makes a mistake do I focus more in response on what I need or on what they need? How does this impact my leadership?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler In the next issue, we’ll look at how secure leaders develop others.

God’s flourishing world included clear standards as we have already observed. God told Adam that there was one tree from which he was not to eat. Sadly, it wasn’t long before that command was broken.

⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.  ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” ¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:6-11, NIV).

Adam and Eve knew they were guilty, they quickly hid when they heard God coming. But what would happen because of their action? God calls them and inquires about what happened. The story continues (read Genesis 3:14-24) with God’s response to their disobedience. This exchange between God and the first couple reveals another ingredient God built into His flourishing world, accountability! The standards were clear, and they were held accountable for their actions. Serving leaders learn that accountability is an essential part of their leadership as they cultivate a flourishing world around them.

Accountability accelerates flourishing by acknowledging the intent.

At first glance it may appear that God’s intent for accountability was to punish and He clearly explained the consequences of their actions. But His heart was expressed when He asked, “Where are you?” He wanted to restore the relationship that had been broken by disobedience. This restoration could not happen without accountability. By addressing the issue God showed the depth of His love for them and the great value He placed on them. His accountability indicated that their actions mattered! It also showed that His commands mattered! Two-year-old’s quickly learn whether the commands of their parents are followed up with accountability. And when there is no accountability, a spoiled child is the result! Serving leaders create flourishing as they hold people accountable for their actions.

 Accountability accelerates flourishing by anticipating the impact.

Since the fall of the first man and woman, we naturally resist accountability. We don’t like to be asked what we did! But serving leaders anticipate a world in which people thrive as they are held accountable in genuinely healthy relationships.  They envision workplaces where everyone understands that their work matters so much that they are accountable. They envision churches where members understand that they are held accountable for expectations. Serving leaders anticipate flourishing as they hold people accountable.  

Accountability accelerates flourishing by accepting the implications.

Serving leaders recognize that if they are to hold others accountable, they must first be accountable. They accept responsibly for their own actions and ask for forgiveness when they fail. Then they also make it clear that others will also be held accountable. They are not afraid to ask what happened. They are quick to provide opportunity for the relationship to be strengthened through accountability. And as people realize that their actions matter, they step up and flourish! Serving leaders create a flourishing world around them by establishing accountability.

For further reflection and discussion:

How has the intent of accountability been distorted in your context? Reflect specifically about the thinking in this area in your culture, your family, and in the organization where you lead. What impact has this thinking had on you as a leader? In what ways do you need to adjust your thinking to align with God’s intent?

Reflect on what the impact would be if everyone in your organization would fully grasp and live out what it means to be accountable. Write at least three reflections.

What action steps will you take as a leader to implement accountability in your home, organization, or community? Choose which of these areas you will focus on and then list 2 or 3 specific steps you will take and dates for when you will take the actions.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine another ingredient of a flourishing world: Failure is Anticipated

Leaders who learn to receive God’s grace and integrate grace into their daily lives are then ready to share this grace with others. As they do, they recall the words of Paul:  

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:8-10).

Servant leaders rejoice in God’s grace to them. They marvel at His goodness to call them to lead others. And they learn to extend God’s grace to those they lead. How do servant leaders share grace with those who follow?

Servant leaders envision followers with grace.

When servant leaders look at their followers, they do not only see workers who will help them accomplish their vision; they see future leaders by God’s grace! They see potential. They see a future. They do not only see the flaws. They see what could happen with the power of grace. They see men and women upon whom God’s grace can work to also do what He “prepared in advance” for them to do. Servant leaders see others through the eyes of God’s grace.

Servant leaders expect followers to need grace.

Servant leaders have learned that they need God’s grace in their own lives, so they are not surprised when their followers need grace! They see themselves as Paul explained in the next chapter of Ephesians: I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, (Ephesians 3:7-8).

Since servant leaders have learned to find their own identity in God’s grace and not in their works, they expect that their followers will also need grace.

Servant leaders extend grace to those who follow.

Leaders who have not experienced God’s grace strive to do good in their own strength. They measure themselves by their performance. And they do the same with their followers. They point fingers of guilt, judgement and shame. They read the policy handbook loudly and underline rules that are broken! They cannot acknowledge their own failures.

But servant leaders know they need grace and can extend it to those who follow. Servant leaders do not beat their followers with lists of “do’s and don’ts”! They don’t use shame to control behavior in others. They invite others to see God’s great grace.

Grace allows a servant leader to forgive the mistakes of a follower. Grace allows a servant leader to say, “I know you failed, I have also. God’s grace will help you make it.” Grace allows the servant leader to give second chances.

This doesn’t mean that there is never a time for a servant leader to correct, rebuke or release a follower. But it means that the overall tone of their leadership will be a posture of grace. Because they know they need grace, servant leaders can pass it on to others. Servant leaders lead with grace by sharing God’s grace.

Sharing grace profoundly shapes the way we lead. Servant leaders approach leadership as one sinner saved by grace, leading another sinner in need of the same grace. Servant leaders receive God’s grace, they learn to live in it, and then they share it with those they lead. They become like Jesus, leaders “full of grace.”

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I see those I lead with grace, as they can become with God’s help? Or do I see others as they are and hopeless? How could what God has done in my own life shape what I expect in others?
• When those who follow me make mistakes, what is my default response? Does it reflect grace? Am I able to treat others when they make mistakes like I want God to treat me when I make mistakes?           
• Would my followers describe me as a leader “full of grace”? Why or why not? What can I do to become more like Jesus in this area?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs requires balance.

Some leaders will focus on the truth: that wrongs have been done and they have been repeated! When the focus is on the “record of wrongs,” leaders respond with their own emotion of pain for the wrongs done against them. This is often an angry outburst which includes a reference to the number of wrongs: “You hurt me four times now; enough is enough!” In this response, the focus is on how the wrong has impacted the leader, not on how to help the other overcome their mistakes.

Other leaders may focus on not keeping a record of wrongs, but in doing so, they do not speak the truth! Their response after several mistakes is, “Oh, that’s nothing major, don’t worry about it!” They do not acknowledge the wrong and therefore don’t help the person to improve.

Servant leaders recognize that a balance is needed. Truth must be expressed, but the focus should not be on the number of times a mistake has been made. Remembering wrongs and keeping a record of the wrongs are two different things. Leaders cannot choose to forget what has happened in the past. But they can consciously choose not to allow the ‘record’ of wrongs to dictate their current emotions or response.

A healthy response may be to say to the person, “This has happened several times now, can we talk about what is causing this?” Here, the truth is addressed, but without the accusation of the past failures. Servant leaders learn to focus on the needs of the other to grow rather than their own need to recall!

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs reveals maturity.

It is natural to keep a list of offenses against us—we do it without training! When the offense of the other person is repeated, we naturally begin to react with strong emotions, often anger, towards the person. Then our response may contain ‘truth’ but it is shaped by the record of wrongs. Paul would remind us that this is not love. Our focus in on self and retaliation rather than on helping the other person.

It takes maturity of character not to use that list of wrongs against another person. Mature leaders speak what the other needs to hear, not what they feel like saying! Servant leaders grow as they realize that the ‘truth’ of their own condition is that they have also repeated mistakes often and have been forgiven often. As Jesus shapes their hearts, they can extend the same grace to others.

Speaking the truth with no record of wrongs reflects Jesus.

Jesus is the one who taught us to forgive others at least 77 times! (See Matthew 18:22.) But He was not encouraging us to remind people of the number of times they failed!

He demonstrated this when He greatly desired the prayers of His three closest disciples. They failed once, then twice and then a third time when Jesus comes back, and they are sleeping again. Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” (Mark 14:41-42).

I would have been tempted to respond with only the truth, “You’ve had three chances to pray for me and you have failed me three times!” Or I might have minimized the wrong and said only, “Let’s go!”

Jesus spoke truth when He said, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough!” But He didn’t remind them of how many times they had done wrong. He didn’t react from His own disappointment and didn’t need to remind them that this was their failure number three! He spoke truth with no record of wrongs.

Servant leaders learn from Jesus to speak truth with no record of wrongs.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency: to speak “truth” by reminding others of their past record or to avoid the painful truth from the past? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but also reacted to others because of their previous mistakes? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke? Do I need to ask forgiveness from that person?
• What other times in Jesus’ life and ministry reveal that Jesus did not keep a record of wrongs? How did He speak truth in those situations without reminding people of their history? What can I learn from Him that I need to practice in a current relationship?
• We’ve been looking at many ways we are called to speak truth in love and we have a few more to examine. In what ways is my speech changing?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

A church member may suddenly leave, taking some of your members to begin a new church. A business partner may take some of your customers and begin a rival business. A spouse may unexpectedly walk away from a marriage relationship. A close friend may reveal to someone else a private matter you shared in confidence. You find out that someone close to you has been lying. The pain from these kinds of betrayal feels like someone stabbed us in the back so ‘backstabbing’ is another word we use for betrayal.

David, like many leaders, experienced betrayal by a friend. We can examine only a portion of what he expressed in Psalm 55, ¹² “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. ¹³ But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, ¹⁴ with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers. ¹⁵ Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the realm of the dead, for evil finds lodging among them. ¹⁶ As for me, I call to God, and the LORD saves me. ¹⁷ Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. ¹⁸ He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me” (Psalm 55:12-18).

David’s experience shows all servant leaders how to deal with the inevitable times of betrayal.

Betrayal should be recognized. David pours out his heart to God and says that if the insults had come from an enemy he could have hidden it. But “…it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.” David recognized the emotions which were stirred up by this betrayal. He was angry, fearful, and he wanted revenge.

Many leaders who experience betrayal know they are in pain but don’t stop to identify what they are feeling. But David helps servant leaders to recognize betrayal and to name the emotions that come with the pain.

Betrayal should be revealed. David didn’t pretend that he was not in pain, he revealed his emotion first to God and now to all of us. He says, ¹⁶ “As for me, I call to God, and the LORD saves me. ¹⁷ Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” By writing these words, David revealed the pain of his betrayal and was able to process his reaction with God.

Too many leaders seek to bury the pain of betrayal by working harder or preaching louder. Or they reveal their pain in an angry outburst of harsh words which they later regret. Servant leaders, like David, expose the pain of their betrayal to God and ask Him for grace to walk through it.

Betrayal should be restrained. The way we respond to betrayal shapes our leadership. David declares at the end of this passage, ¹⁸ “He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.” He realized that God “rescues me unharmed” and called him to continue in his role as a leader. David learned to forgive and release the pain so that he could continue leading well.

Servant leaders learn from David to restrain betrayal so that it does not keep them from leading like Jesus. With God’s grace they allow the pain of betrayal to make them better instead of bitter.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Read all of Psalm 55. What more does this teach me about betrayal?
• Identify a time in the past when you experienced betrayal and then reflect on that experience by answering the following questions:
  • What was the situation in which I was betrayed?
  • What emotions did it stir in me?
  • Was I aware, at that time, of these emotions?
  • Did I appropriately reveal my emotions?
  • How did I respond to the person(s) who betrayed me and how did that impact my leadership?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

As Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, he showed that he finally understood the purpose for which God gave him the dream. What he understood about the purpose of his dream as a mature leader was very different from what he thought as a 17-year-old.

And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute' (Genesis 45:5-8).

Joseph understood the purpose for which God had given him a dream. It was not really about him, it was all about God. Joseph teaches servant leaders the reason God gives dreams.

Dreams are to reveal God’s plan.

Joseph says, “it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph looked back over the events of his life. It looked like his brothers were in control of his destiny, but he realized that it was actually God at work in his life even in the midst of painful experiences.

Every dream from God is to reveal the plan God has for His people. God calls some leaders to work in the business world, in politics, in health care or in the church. God gives a dream. But the dream is not about the leader. It is to reveal God’s plan in that arena of life. Servant leaders recognize that it is God who equipped and prepared them to carry out His dream. Their dream reveals God’s heart and God’s plan.

Dreams are to resource God’s people.

When Joseph was young, he imagined that the dream was about others bowing down to him. Now he acknowledges, “it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.” Joseph sees that God’s dream was not about others meeting his needs, but it was about him meeting the needs of others.

Most leaders accomplish dreams to provide for themselves but servant leaders recognize that God gave them a dream to provide for the needs of others. They recognize that the measure of success is not how many bow down to them, but how many they can serve.

Dreams are to restore God’s relationships.

As a young man Joseph thought his dream was about his family bowing down to him. Then his brothers hurt him deeply and for years he tried to forget the pain.

But God’s plan was for Joseph to be healed from the pain, to forgive them and be restored to his family. Joseph went through the painful process of forgiving his brothers. Now he recognizes that the dream was to bring the family together. He says, “You shall….be near me.”

Later, after his father died, he said to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20). Some leaders are so intent on accomplishing their dreams that they ruin relationships in the process. But Joseph teaches us that dreams which divide are not from God. God’s dreams bring people back into relationship.

Joseph’s life teaches all servant leaders that God has a purpose for the dream. Dream on!

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is my understanding of the purpose of my dream closer to Joseph’s as a 17-year-old, or closer to his understanding as a mature leader? What is God inviting me to change?
• Is my dream about my own plans or the plans of God? In what way do I need to more clearly see God’s plan revealed in my dream?
• Is my dream about others bowing down to me, or about God using me to serve others?
• In what way does God want to use the dream I am currently pursuing to provide for others? How can I increase the way my dream meets their needs?
• Are there any broken relationships as a result of my dream? In what way might God want those relationships to be restored? What is my role in bringing needed healing?
• Has my family impacted my dream positively or negatively? (God’s design for families is for them to be places where dreams are nurtured and encouraged. But many crush and ridicule dreams instead, like Joseph’s brothers. Joseph’s family nearly busted his dream, but God helped him to use his family to build the dream.) What can I learn from Joseph’s family relationships that can help me respond appropriately in my family?

As we enter 2012 I've been reflecting on why New Year's Day is a significant event around the world. While we know that nothing really changes from December 31st to January 1st, the mental change is profound and results in massive celebrations in every time zone. I conclude that New Year’s is significant because we all desire a fresh start, a new beginning. A new year offers hope for a better life and future. It offers a way to release the frustrations and failures of the previous year and begin with a clean record. It’s like a fresh beginning and it feels wonderful! It is God’s way of giving us a gift of grace to begin again. What does this mean for us as servant leaders?

Servant leaders receive God's grace.

Paul, a dynamic servant leader, saw himself as a recipient of God's grace. “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them– yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:10). His life and leadership were reflections of God's grace, not his own effort. With this perspective he was able to forget the past and focus on the future (Philippians 3:13-14). Paul daily enjoyed a New Year's perspective!

Servant leaders learn to accept ourselves simply as recipients of His grace. We no longer have to strive for acceptance. Our worth is not determined by our performance, past or future. Servant leaders learn to forgive themselves and receive His grace.

As New Year's Eve party goers rejoice in the coming of the new year, servant leaders should daily marvel at the gift of His grace.

Servant leaders extend grace.

Receiving God's grace is a wonderful gift and I hope that it is already a powerful reality in your life. But servant leaders go a step beyond and offer this grace to others, offering them the fresh beginning that God offers to each of us. What does this look like in different areas of our lives?

In our home.

Servant leaders who have received grace from God also extend grace to their spouse and children at home. At least at the beginning of a new year, we should begin again with those we love the most. Tear up the record of offenses committed by your spouse last year! Forgive your teenager for the mistakes of last year. Start again with that adult child or troublesome in-law!

In our vocation.

Think about those that you work with on a daily basis, your coworkers, superiors and/or subordinates. It's time to begin anew with them as well. Don't carry into the new year the grudges or hurts from last year. Even if they don't change, God can work in your heart and give you a brand-new attitude towards them.

In our leadership.

Whether you lead in the business world, church world, or in another profession the people who follow you need grace! Give them a New Year's gift by offering them a fresh start.

For servant leaders, receiving and extending grace should not be an event only at New Year's. However, this is an excellent time to stop for a moment to thank God for His grace and to reflect on how we can best extend His grace to those around us. Have a year filled with grace! Or, as Paul puts it, “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.” (1 Corinthians 16:23).

For further reflection and discussion:

• Are there things which happened last year for which I need to ask God's forgiveness and receive His grace and mercy?
• Why is it sometimes difficult to accept God's grace? What is the result when I don’t fully accept His offer of a fresh start?
• Do the members of my household see me as a person of grace? Why or why not? What can I do to extend more grace to them?
• Have I offered those who work with me the gift of grace this New Year? What step can I take today to give them this gift?
• In my leadership, do I give to others the grace to fail?

In the last three issues we examined the “big three” sins of the tongue: Talking too much, lying, and gossiping. James reminds us that as leaders we are held to a higher level of accountability because of our influence (James 3:1). So, let’s conclude this series by looking at five practical steps we can each take to change our tongue.

Confess our sin.

Sins of the tongue are common to every tribe and nation and someone has pointed out that every tongue is the same color! We must stop calling gossipping, lying and talking too much a ‘weakness’ or a ‘problem’ and call it what God does, sin! When we confess it as sin, there is biblical cleansing (1 John 1:9).

Look at our heart.

When we have a problem with our tongue, the root of the problem is our heart. Luke 6:45 concludes, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” We hurt others with our words because we lack love; we gossip because we lack respect for our brother; we lie because we want others to think well of us. Let God deal with our heart before we try to change our tongue.

Memorize the Word.

The best way that I know to change our heart is to get the Word of God deep inside us through memorization and meditation (Psalms 119:9-11). Memorize verses that deal with the specific problem you have. If it is lying, memorize verses that speak of lying. If it is gossip, memorize verses that deal with that subject. The Word of God will begin to change your heart and your tongue will follow.

Ask forgiveness when we fail.

When we sin with our tongues it is very helpful to humble ourselves and use the same tongue to ask forgiveness from those we have hurt (James 5:16). The seven hardest words to say are “I was wrong, will you forgive me?” But do it today. The pain of confession is a powerful incentive to change!

Be patient.

Change takes time. Our speech will not change completely overnight, although it can begin to change tonight! Some of our habits and patterns of speech have taken years to develop and will take some time for God to change in us. But, change is possible! Philippians 1:6 says, “He that began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Let Him begin that good work on your tongue today.

God is still working on me and my tongue is not always under the control of the Holy Spirit. But He has radically changed the way I use my tongue in the past 20 years! Take a moment as we come to the conclusion of this year to reflect on ways that God wants to change your tongue. Use the questions for reflection below to continue your journey.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Take a moment to review the previous three issues on the “big three” sins of the tongue. Which one is the biggest problem for you? __________
• With this sin in mind, work through the five steps in this lesson. I suggest that you write out a confession and identify the heart issue which is at stake. For example, “I confess that I sin by talking too much. This flows from the pride in my heart. I ask you to forgive me for this sin and give me the grace to change. I commit myself to memorize the following verse (insert the verse) and will ask forgiveness from _______ and ______ (insert names). Today will be a turning point for the way I use my tongue and I trust God to help me complete the journey.”

Leadership Nuggets from Ephesians, 1

Servant leaders influence greatly because they have a strong sense of their identity in Christ. Paul lays the foundation for our identity in Ephesians 1:1-14 and provides several key factors that shape our identity. The principles he lists apply to all believers, but three have special significance for servant leaders.

Servant leaders are blessed.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” (Eph. 1:3) Paul makes it clear that we have already received “every spiritual blessing in Christ” and servant leaders accept this truth as a part of their identity. This provides a positive attitude towards life. Instead of complaining about what they don’t have, servant leaders set an example for others as they focus on the many ways God has blessed them. They recognize that their influence is a blessing from God and they treat it as a gift.

Reflect: Do I see myself as a blessed leader?

Servant leaders are chosen.

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” (Eph. 1:4) Servant leaders accept the truth that God has chosen them as both a personal call to a relationship with God and a sense of call to the place of influence in which God has placed them. This call is not based on their performance but on the grace of God and provides a sense of purpose and meaning for their leadership. Leaders who know they are called have nothing to prove to others. This confidence should not produce pride but should instead allow the leader to call forth the best in others and to affirm the unique potential of all who follow them.

Reflect: Do I recognize God’s call on my life?

Servant leaders are forgiven.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” (Eph. 1:7-8) Forgiveness frees the servant leader from the burden of sin and allows them to extend the same grace to others. This does not mean overlooking poor performance or sin issues that need to be addressed but it means that they can lead others from a position of grace.

Reflect: Am I able to freely extend forgiveness to those I lead?

These three factors provide servant leaders with a deep sense of security that is reflected in the way they interact with other leaders as well as followers. Their identity is secure in Christ and they know they are blessed. They don’t need to struggle to appear significant; they find their significance in the fact that Christ chose them as a special person. They do not lead with a sense of guilt and unworthiness; they have experienced the freedom of forgiveness. Their leadership reflects the fact that their identity is secure in Christ as they bless others, call forth the best in others, and extend forgiveness to those who need it. Servant leaders who know their identity in Christ are powerfully influential. Reflect on Paul’s statements and settle any doubts about who you are in Christ.

In the next several issues, we’ll reflect on more leadership lessons from Ephesians.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Do I tend to focus on the negative or positive things in life? What impact does this have on my leadership?
• In what way do I possess a sense of call to my place of influence? Am I convinced that God has given me a gift of influence where I am?
• How easily can I call others to live out their own potential?
• Are there ways in the past week in which I have extended forgiveness to someone under my leadership?