Paul calls all of us to speak with truth and love. Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ (Ephesians 4:15).

Speaking truth can be a scary thing! We might be afraid that it will not be well received. Or we might be afraid that the truth will cause more harm than good. It can be difficult to trust that the listener will receive our words well. So, Paul adds more insight when he says that love always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7).

What does it mean to trust as we speak truth? Trust is a strong belief in the other person. Servant leaders base their trust on God’s dependability, not on the performance of that person. They choose to believe that the person is worthy of love because of God’s love for each of us.

Trust does not mean that a leader blindly opens their hearts to a person who has shown themselves to be untrustworthy. Trust is earned, but a leader can speak truth in love trusting that God will use it for the good of that person. Speaking truth with trust means extending grace to others and choosing to trust them even more than they deserve. Love is willing to take the risk. Servant leaders learn to push back their fear and speak truth with trust.

Speaking the truth with trust requires balance.

Some leaders may hesitate to speak the truth because they have no confidence in the person to whom they are speaking. They are suspicious of the other person’s heart, perhaps because of some pain in the past from this relationship. The pain or suspicion keeps them quiet and the truth is not spoken. Another leader may believe the best about someone and hope that they will change on their own without hearing the truth. This leader fails to lovingly share the truth.

Other leaders may speak truth but do it with little trust that it will bring growth or change. They recall past mistakes and focus on the failures of the other person. They expect nothing to change. Paul reminds servant leaders to clearly speak the truth that is balanced with trust.

Speaking the truth with trust reveals maturity.

As we learn to speak truth with trust, Paul reminds us that we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Learning to speak truth with trust takes time. Immature leaders may allow their hurt to prevent them from speaking truth when a person shows he or she is untrustworthy. The pain of these difficult experiences makes it difficult to trust others. It takes time and much experience to be able to wisely discern how and when to trust, and to have the courage to risk believing for the best in others. Servant leaders ask Jesus to help them balance truth and trust as they mature as leaders.

Speaking the truth with trust reflects Jesus.

Jesus provides a great example of speaking the truth with trust to Thomas, the disciple that we identify with doubting. He was the last disciple to believe that Jesus rose from the dead. But Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:27-29).

To the one who doubted Him the most, Jesus spoke tender words of truth and offered a wounded man hope. He did not ignore the unpleasant truth that Thomas doubted. But He spoke with confidence that Thomas would believe. His words invited Thomas to grow and change and they transformed his life. Jesus spoke truth with trust and He teaches servant leaders to do the same.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Is my natural tendency to speak “truth with trust” or to be “suspicious”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but not with trust? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Is there a relationship in which I have experienced deep hurt that makes it difficult to speak with trust? How might Jesus invite me to speak truth with trust in this relationship?
• How can I speak truth with trust to someone who has clearly shown themselves to be untrustworthy?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke the truth with trust? What can I learn from His example?

We don’t expect strong leaders to have doubts. We expect them to have answers and great faith. But John the Baptist, the greatest prophet up to that time, had a period in which he wrestled with his faith in Jesus. John’s disciples told him about all these things. Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?’” At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me” (Luke 7:19-23). The last recorded words of this great leader expressed doubt. What can servant leaders learn from John about how to deal with doubt?

John acknowledged his doubt.

John received the report from his disciples that Jesus was doing a lot of miracles and crowds were following Him. This seems to us like good news as we focus on the life of Jesus. In fact, John had spoken earlier about Jesus with great certainty. He told his disciples, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29). “I have seen and I testify that this is the Son of God” (John 1:34). But those statements were made much earlier. Now John was in prison, locked up, and in a difficult place. Day after day, as he looked at the walls of his cell his doubts increased. He went from bold proclamation to deep desolation. His future was uncertain, his team was scattered, and he was no longer sure of all that he used to believe. His doubt was not on a small theological issue, he was now questioning the identity and mission of Jesus! Many leaders keep their doubts to themselves, afraid of what others would think if they would expose the struggles of their soul. But John helps us realize that servant leaders can acknowledge their doubt.

John asked for help.

Not only did John acknowledge the doubt in his heart, he called two of his disciples and asked them to go to Jesus for answers. John could not find answers to his questions alone. So he humbled himself before his followers and asked them to help him by going to Jesus for answers. This is the John who boldly confronted the religious leaders of his day and rebuked the king alone. But now, in the darkness of doubt he has the courage to ask for help, not an easy step for any leader. John shows us that it is possible to expose our need and ask those around us for help. Servant leaders are able to humbly ask for help with their doubts.

John accepted the answer.

John’s question was a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. Was Jesus the one to come or should he expect someone else? Jesus was not surprised by his doubt, nor offended by John’s questions. Yet, He did not give an easy answer either! Essentially Jesus responded by saying, “Look at the evidence and make up your mind.” I imagine that when John’s disciples gave him that answer, his initial response was that Jesus didn’t answer his question! But John seems to accept Jesus’ answer and recognizes that answers to doubt are not usually easy or clear. Sometimes the issues we struggle with do not have easy answers and life refuses to fit into neat boxes. When a loved one dies, when someone we prayed for is not healed, or when we suffer loss and pain in our journey, there are no easy answers. Our faith is filled with paradoxes and so much that seems backwards to us. But John shows us that Jesus is present, hears our questions, and gives us the ability to accept His answers even when everything is not yet clear. Servant leaders accept the answers they receive after acknowledging their doubt and asking for help. They learn from John that doubt and leadership can exist together.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How have I dealt with doubt? Have I ignored it, denied it, or expressed it? What has been the result in my soul? How has the way I have responded to doubt changed my leadership and the way I view the doubts of others?
• What “lies” about doubt have I accepted as true and how has it changed my journey? (Consider common perceptions such as the following: “Leaders don’t question God.” “If I express doubt, others will believe I am not following Jesus.” “Jesus will be shocked or angry if He knew my doubts!”)
• What doubts do I have which I have been afraid to express? What keeps me from acknowledging these doubts? How can I imagine Jesus responding if I would express my doubts to him as John did with his?
• Who can help me with my doubt? Do I have others around me with whom I can openly share my struggles? If not, what do I need to do to develop relationships like this?
• Have I been able to accept answers to my doubt which do not seem complete? Am I able to live with some unanswered questions?
• Who do I know that struggles with doubt and how can I walk with them on their journey? What have I learned from John’s life that would be helpful to them?