We are beginning to recognize that it is not a simple matter to follow Paul’s instruction to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) because he challenges our understanding of love when he lists the actions of love. One of these actions is that love “always protects” (1 Corinthians 13:7).So, servant leaders learn to speak truth while protecting. What does it mean for a leader to protect the other person as they speak truth?

Servant leaders protect the humanity of the other, seeing them as a fellow human being created in the image of God. When correction is needed, they protect the dignity of the other by sharing privately, not by shaming them in public. Servant leaders protect the honor of the other person by expecting the best from that person. They protect that person by choosing the right time to speak and selecting the location that will most likely allow the truth to be received.

Everything the servant leader does is focused on the needs of the other and how to make it most likely that they will receive the truth spoken with deep love. They express their love by protecting as they speak truth.

Speaking the truth while protecting requires balance.

Some leaders speak the truth with little concern about how it will impact the person listening. They speak quickly and put everything out at once. They live by the principle, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free!” They love the truth more than the person to whom they are speaking truth.

Other leaders focus on the feelings of the other person and are so concerned with not offending or hurting the relationship that they ignore the truth.

A balance is needed. Servant leaders learn to speak truth that is balanced with concern to protect the listener.

Speaking the truth while protecting reveals maturity.

Immature leaders either ignore the truth or speak it quickly without concern for the other person. It takes the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit to develop love in the life of the leader so that the focus is on the person receiving the truth.

Mature servant leaders learn that truth is valuable, but people are more precious. The person should be protected, not from the truth itself, but from anything which would cause the truth to not be received. Demonstrating this depth of love requires time for the leader to become mature.

Speaking the truth while protecting reflects Jesus.

Jesus boldly spoke truth, but He also expressed love by protecting those who needed to hear it. When the woman caught in adultery was brought to Him in John 8, Jesus spoke truth but protected this woman. He literally protected her physically from those who were accusing her with the truth. They came armed with the truth and were ready to kill her. Jesus protected her life. In the end all her accusers left, and Jesus was alone with this hurting woman.

He protected her dignity by not speaking at all about her sin until He was alone with her. Her accusers loudly spoke the truth in the open and with the intent to condemn. Jesus protected her dignity by not speaking at all about her sin until they were alone. He was concerned about the timing and location when He would speak truth. He stooped down, humbling Himself in her presence, protecting her dignity as a human being and valuable person.

Finally, when the time was right to speak directly to her, Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus lovingly spoke truth while protecting and He shows servant leaders how to do the same.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is my natural tendency, to speak “truth” or to “protect the other person from the truth”? What is the result in my leadership?
• When have I spoken truth, but did not protect the person? In what way did I not protect them? What was the result in my own life and in the life of the person to whom I spoke?
• Can I think of another time when Jesus spoke the truth while protecting the listener? What can I learn from His example?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2019.

Kings are usually known for their acts of bravery and courage, the pomp and splendor of their wealth, and their use or abuse of their absolute authority. But the story of David’s relationship with Mephibosheth paints an amazing story of a king leading with kindness. The account in 2 Samuel 9 is one of the most remarkable leadership stories in scripture. Mephibosheth was the crippled son of Jonathan, the grandson of King Saul. David, in an amazing picture of kindness, brings this cripple to live in the palace and daily eat at his own table with his own sons. What does David’s life teach servant leaders about kindness?

Kindness is purposeful.

David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”(2 Samuel 9:1). David’s act was deliberate; he was not responding to a need brought to his attention. Instead, he looked for someone to receive kindness! Kindness, especially for those in power, is not an automatic response. Leaders naturally look for those who are strong and who can help fulfill their vision, but David looked for someone in need of kindness. He wanted to honor his friendship with Jonathan who was now dead. Saul’s family had been wiped out in the battles, which brought David to the throne. He didn’t even know if he would find any survivors and certainly didn’t expect to find a lame man. But he took the initiative to look. Servant leaders create opportunities to show kindness to others.

Kindness is personal.

So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons (2 Samuel 9:11). David’s kindness to Mephibosheth was intensely personal. His motive was to express kindness to someone from his dear friend Jonathan’s family who was now on the outside of the circle of power. Not only was his motive personal, David’s actions were very personal. He literally brought Mephibosheth into his own private space and treated him as one of his own sons. David could easily have given Mephibosheth a one-time gift and sent him away, but he did far more than that. Mephibosheth felt like an outcast and saw himself as “a dead dog.” David’s kindness to Mephibosheth was more than a handout; it restored dignity and purpose to his life. He ate with the king! Servant leaders recognize that kindness is about relationships with real people. Kindness brings people into the leaders circle and values even those who cannot contribute to the vision.

Kindness is costly.

And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table; he was lame in both feet (2 Samuel 9:13). This act of kindness was costly to David in many ways. Although David enjoyed great wealth, this act of kindness was quite costly. He gave away all of Saul’s land, he provided a home for Mephibosheth in Jerusalem, and fed him daily! But this act cost David more than money. He took a risk to bring into the palace an heir to Saul’s throne and a former enemy of the nation who was not from the ruling tribe. His security guards were likely not pleased to have this man at the King’s table! Others may have whispered quietly that having a cripple at the table was another act far below the dignity of a king. Whatever the cost, David showed kindness and demonstrates to servant leaders that power does not need to rob us of our capacity to show love to the weak.

David’s kindness to Mephibosheth is a beautiful picture of what God has done to each of us: accepting us in our weakness and bringing us to His table as sons and daughters. Servant leaders receive this with gratitude and pass it on to others, especially to those who are weak.

For further reflection and discussion:

Read the entire story of David and Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9 and then reflect on the following questions.

• What does it mean for me to be purposeful in expressing kindness?
• How do I view people who are considered ‘weak’ in my community, the poor, the physically disabled, the uneducated, those with no voice? How might God want me to use my leadership to reach out in kindness?
• Do I sometimes express kindness from a distance, like giving money to a cause instead of getting personally involved? If so, how is God inviting me to be personal in my kindness?
• What price am I willing to pay for an act of kindness? What does this reveal about my heart and what is God inviting me to do in response?