Paul’s declaration that “All have sinned….” (Romans 3:23) certainly includes leaders. And sin produces the emotion of guilt which is not a pleasant feeling!

David experienced guilt after committing adultery with Bathsheba. His sin was more public than most and David wrote openly about his guilt.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. ² Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. ³ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. ⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge ¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. ¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness (Psalm 51:1-3; 12-14).

Guilt should be recognized. “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.” David recognized he needed cleansing because of his guilt. This recognition took a long time for David, coming only after a rebuke from the prophet Nathan, months after his sin.

His story illustrates the power of our minds to justify sin after we have done wrong. We want to avoid the emotion of guilt because when we recognize guilt, we must acknowledge our wrongdoing. Our minds will provide many reasons that we are not guilty or convince us that what we are feeling is not actually guilt.

But servant leaders learn to recognize guilt as a gift from God to lead them to repentance.

Guilt should be revealed. David revealed his guilt in writing and we still read it centuries after his sin! Guilt is not an easy emotion to reveal. The emotion of guilt brings a quick temptation to ignore it or hide it from self and others. To reveal the emotion of guilt is to admit wrong and no one enjoys confession. But the emotion of guilt carries a purpose, to bring repentance. Repentance can’t happen until guilt is revealed. Ignoring guilt only leads to greater guilt!

Leaders are tempted more than others to hide their guilt since their leadership reputation is at stake. Followers often expect leaders to be perfect and leaders who don’t reveal their guilt encourage this expectation. Leaders who won’t admit guilt often hypocritically point fingers at the mistakes others. They think that if others look guilty, they look better!

But servant leaders learn to reveal their guilt appropriately. Sometimes guilt needs to be acknowledged privately. But many times guilt needs to be shared with another person or a group. Servant leaders learn from David not to hide their guilt.

Guilt should be restrained. Unresolved guilt can cripple a leader. The enemy will whisper that we can’t lead when we have sinned. But David says, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways.” David confessed his sin and then allowed his guilt to open up more doors for influence. He recognized that a leader who has gone through the brokenness of confession and repentance becomes a stronger leader.

A leader’s repentance brings greater compassion and empathy for others who fail. Leaders who experience God’s grace can extend God’s grace to others. Servant leaders learn to restrain their guilt so that it does not hinder their leadership but enhances it. They recognize and reveal their mistakes and then move on, leading with greater compassion and grace.

May God enable each of us, like David, to lead with grace when we experience guilt.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what situation recently did I experience guilt? How did I respond and in what way was my response similar or different than David’s?
• When I am guilty, in what ways does my mind justify what I have done? How can I be freed from this pattern of thinking?
• In what situations do I need to reveal my guilt to others? What makes this difficult for me?
• Are there times when I feel a “false” sense of guilt because of the expectations of others? What is God saying to me about how to respond to this guilt?
• Are there situations in which a leader should stop leading, at least temporarily, because of guilt? What situations would call for this step and how can it be done with grace? Have I discussed this issue with key leaders on my team so that we are in agreement before this situation arises? If not, when can I initiate this conversation?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

David responded as a servant leader while Absalom dealt with sin as a subversive* leader. And the outcomes could not be more distinct. David, in spite of his sin, is known as a “man after God’s own heart.” Absalom paid for his sin with his life. What can servant leaders learn about sin from the lives of David and Absalom?

David declared his sin; Absalom denied sin. David initially tried to cover his sin, attempting to make it look like Bathsheba’s pregnancy was from her husband. Then he had her husband killed. But when the prophet Nathan came to confront David, he quickly acknowledged, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13). In his psalm of confession, David says, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:3-4). David recognized that he sinned not only against the people involved but against God.

In contrast, Absalom, after murdering his brother, says to Joab: “Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death” (2 Samuel 14:32b, emphasis mine). David sinned in secret, but repented openly and cried out to God for forgiveness. Absalom sinned openly but refused to repent. He never acknowledged his sin to God or his father.

All leaders are tempted, like Absalom, to cover their sin. Hiding sin is a natural response and it is easy to conclude that confession will damage our leadership. David demonstrates a better way. Servant leaders acknowledge their sin quickly and openly; subversive leaders cover their sin.

David allowed sin to shape his character; Absalom used sin to shape his leadership. David repented of his sin and said, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. ¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. ¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:10-12). David sinned in a moment of passion, but as he repented his character was shaped by God. The experience of God’s grace made David even more effective as a leader.

In contrast, Absalom deliberately sinned to advance his leadership, by sleeping on the rooftop with his father’s wives. (See 2 Samuel 16:21-22.) He used sin to gain more followers! Absalom had no regard for character; he only desired to be the king. Leadership was his goal, not integrity.

Some leaders, like Absalom, base decisions not on what is right or wrong but on what will advance their leadership. They are willing to compromise integrity for short term gain. Servant leaders allow sin to shape their character; subversive leaders use sin to shape their leadership.

David’s response to sin made him better; Absalom’s response made him bitter. David’s life was shaped by his sin and he drew closer to God as a result. He also promised God that after forgiveness he would, “teach transgressors your ways” (Psalm 51:13). Servant leaders repent of sin and allow their mistakes to make them better. They draw closer to God and experience His grace and forgiveness. As they do, they share what they learned with those who follow. They become more compassionate with those they lead as they recognize their own failings and are able to extend grace to others who sin.

Absalom’s response to sin only drove him to a life of bitterness, revenge, and rebellion. His initial sin of murder and denial of guilt led to rebellion, then sexual immorality, and a life of broken family relationships.

The difference between leaders is not in how we sin but in how we respond to sin. Servant leaders accept God’s grace and allow their sin to make them better; subversive leaders allow sin to make them bitter.

Our response to our own sin will shape our leadership. Servant leaders acknowledge sin and allow God to use it to shape their character and make them better leaders. Do you follow David’s example or Absalom’s?

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

*Subversive means to seek to undermine or destroy an established system. A leader who is subversive intends to overthrow the established authority to take power for themselves.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Read Psalm 51 to reflect on how David responded to his sin. What is God speaking to me through this chapter?
• How has my own sin changed the way I lead?
• In what areas am I most tempted to make leadership my goal instead of integrity?
• Are there currently hidden sins in my own life which need to be confessed?
• What specific step is God asking me to do in response to this reflection?

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.

Why would a servant leader throw someone’s household possessions on the street? Ask Nehemiah! “I was greatly displeased and threw all Tobiah's household goods out of the room” (Nehemiah 13:8). This is not a picture of a weak passive leader. Nor is it an example of an angry dictator. Nehemiah is another picture of the tension great servant leaders balance between boldness and humility. In what ways does Nehemiah demonstrate both?

Boldness requires a servant leader to confront corporate wrong.

Nehemiah’s action against Tobiah was a bold confrontation of wrong. Tobiah had taken advantage of his relationship with the priest for selfish gain. This is not the only time Nehemiah boldly confronted wrong. When the people were taking advantage of the poor, he became angry, called a meeting and demanded a change (Nehemiah 5:1-13). When they were guilty of working on the Sabbath, he closed the doors and stationed guards to change the practice, even threatening to “lay hands on” those who violated his instruction (Nehemiah 13:15-22). When the people intermarried with foreigners Nehemiah rebuked them, beat and pulled out their beards! (Nehemiah 13: 23-27). (I do not recommend that you try all of his tactics, but we can all follow his example of boldly confronting corporate wrong!)

Servant leaders have courage to confront the sin of those they lead. Their leadership is based on clear moral principles, not on popular opinion. Like Nehemiah, they confront wrong with a motive to correct and to change, not to destroy or take personal revenge. At home, in the office, on the job, or in the church, servant leaders see themselves as representatives of God’s kingdom and speak out boldly when they see violations of His will. This is not a personal battle, or retaliation against those who resist them. Servant leaders confront wrong only in response to clear disobedience of God’s will. But then they confront the wrong with boldness.

Humility enables a servant leader to confess personal wrong.

The boldness of Nehemiah to confront corporate wrong flowed from his earlier confession of personal wrong. His story begins with a prayer of humble confession in which he confesses both his own sin and the sins of his people (Nehemiah 1:5-11). Later, when he called the people to repent and turn back to God, he was the first to sign the document of confession and renewal (Nehemiah 10:1).

Some leaders boldly confront the sins of others, but are unwilling to deal with their own. Jesus compared these leaders to one who focuses on a speck of sawdust in other people’s eyes, while missing the plank in their own (Matthew 7:3-5). Servant leaders quickly acknowledge their own weakness and their continued need for God’s grace. They do not wait for their sin to be exposed and then quickly issue a public apology. Instead, they allow God to search their hearts and humbly acknowledge the sin exposed there. Seeing our own sin and acknowledging our own need for God’s grace allows us to extend the same grace and freedom to others. We are able to confront boldly yet with a deep humility instead of pride.

This humility forms the foundation from which a servant leader can boldly confront the sin of others. Only when personal sin is confessed does a servant leader have the moral authority to confront sin in others. When personal sin is first acknowledged, confrontation of corporate sin is done in a spirit of humility rather than pride.

Confrontation of corporate wrong without humility leads to chaos and rebellion. Humble confession of personal sins without confrontation of corporate sins does not lead to change. But when servant leaders combine humble confession of personal sin with bold confrontation of corporate sin, genuine transformation of individuals and the community is made possible. Let’s lead with bold humility like Nehemiah!

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• Read the entire story of Nehemiah’s leadership looking for other examples of his boldness, and humility. In what ways does his life instruct the way you lead?
• Which comes most naturally to you as a leader, boldly confronting wrong or humbly confessing wrong? What happens when this one is not balanced by the other?
• Have you experienced a situation in which a leader boldly confronted wrong but lacked personal humility? What was the result and what can you learn from this leader?
• On the other hand, have you experienced the situation in which a leader had great humility but lacked the boldness to confront wrong in others? What was the result and what can you learn from this experience?
• Are there current sins in your own life which need confession before you look at others?
• In the group you lead are there corporate sins which need bold confrontation?

In the next issue, we will look at the life of Peter as a profile of bold humility.

Copyright, Jon Byler 2014.

In the last three issues we examined the “big three” sins of the tongue: Talking too much, lying, and gossiping. James reminds us that as leaders we are held to a higher level of accountability because of our influence (James 3:1). So, let’s conclude this series by looking at five practical steps we can each take to change our tongue.

Confess our sin.

Sins of the tongue are common to every tribe and nation and someone has pointed out that every tongue is the same color! We must stop calling gossipping, lying and talking too much a ‘weakness’ or a ‘problem’ and call it what God does, sin! When we confess it as sin, there is biblical cleansing (1 John 1:9).

Look at our heart.

When we have a problem with our tongue, the root of the problem is our heart. Luke 6:45 concludes, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” We hurt others with our words because we lack love; we gossip because we lack respect for our brother; we lie because we want others to think well of us. Let God deal with our heart before we try to change our tongue.

Memorize the Word.

The best way that I know to change our heart is to get the Word of God deep inside us through memorization and meditation (Psalms 119:9-11). Memorize verses that deal with the specific problem you have. If it is lying, memorize verses that speak of lying. If it is gossip, memorize verses that deal with that subject. The Word of God will begin to change your heart and your tongue will follow.

Ask forgiveness when we fail.

When we sin with our tongues it is very helpful to humble ourselves and use the same tongue to ask forgiveness from those we have hurt (James 5:16). The seven hardest words to say are “I was wrong, will you forgive me?” But do it today. The pain of confession is a powerful incentive to change!

Be patient.

Change takes time. Our speech will not change completely overnight, although it can begin to change tonight! Some of our habits and patterns of speech have taken years to develop and will take some time for God to change in us. But, change is possible! Philippians 1:6 says, “He that began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Let Him begin that good work on your tongue today.

God is still working on me and my tongue is not always under the control of the Holy Spirit. But He has radically changed the way I use my tongue in the past 20 years! Take a moment as we come to the conclusion of this year to reflect on ways that God wants to change your tongue. Use the questions for reflection below to continue your journey.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Take a moment to review the previous three issues on the “big three” sins of the tongue. Which one is the biggest problem for you? __________
• With this sin in mind, work through the five steps in this lesson. I suggest that you write out a confession and identify the heart issue which is at stake. For example, “I confess that I sin by talking too much. This flows from the pride in my heart. I ask you to forgive me for this sin and give me the grace to change. I commit myself to memorize the following verse (insert the verse) and will ask forgiveness from _______ and ______ (insert names). Today will be a turning point for the way I use my tongue and I trust God to help me complete the journey.”