Jesus invested time and energy to instill His values in the lives of His disciples. His first formal teaching, the Sermon on the Mount, begins with a list of values:

He said: ³“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. ⁵Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. ⁷ Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. ⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. ⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. ¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:3-10, NIV.)

Jesus begins His teaching, not with commandments for living but with values to practice. He wanted the values of His followers to align with His. His example guides serving leaders to clearly establish the values of the organization in ways that produce flourishing.

Values alignment brings flourishing by guiding actions.

The values Jesus described were not just great theories, they were meant to guide actions in daily life. He was focused on shaping behavior. Every organization chooses what actions are accepted and important. When done with intentionality and careful thought as Jesus did, this produces alignment and flourishing. Everyone understands what actions are expected and which ones are not.

Some leaders assume that people will find a good way to live and act while they are together without additional direction from the leader. But serving leaders carefully communicate the values in ways that guide the actions of those they serve.

Values alignment brings flourishing by setting standards.

The explicit list of values Jesus shared with His disciples set the standard for how they were to live. His values made it clear what behaviors were acceptable and at the same time clarified what behaviors were not acceptable. On several occasions He corrected them when their values did not represent His kingdom. He understood that values set the standard and everyone needed to be held accountable to live by the standard.  He brought alignment by clearly setting the standards and holding everyone accountable to them. He understood that what leaders tolerate teaches values faster than what they articulate.

Some leaders expect that a list of values on the wall is sufficient to set the standard. But serving leaders talk about the values often and hold themselves and everyone else accountable to keep the standards that have been set.  They work deliberately to get the values off the walls and into the hearts of their people.  

Values alignment brings flourishing by shaping culture.

It was the expectation of Jesus that His followers would live out a new way of living and in time develop a new culture that reflected His priorities. Likewise, an organization that clarifies and lives out the values of the organization will develop a culture shaped by those values. Culture becomes powerful when everyone involved can say, “This is the way we do things here.” This becomes the foundation of a flourishing organization.

Some leaders allow their organizational culture to be shaped without intention. But serving leaders leverage the power of values to shape a healthy culture in which people flourish and the organization thrives.

For further reflection and discussion:

Reflect on your own leadership journey in relation to how clearly you have aligned values in your organization. On a scale of 1-10 (10 is perfect) how would you rate your own leadership in this area? What has been the result in your leadership?

In my organization are values expressed by default or by design? What can I do this week to more intentionally talk about the values which are important to my organization?

Is there someone I know on my team that is violating one of our values? What will I do to address this issue?   

Do those I lead understand our values well enough to articulate them and help hold each other accountable? What can I do to strengthen this element of our organization?

In addition to the scripture used in this issue, reflect on the following verses from the life of Jesus:  Matthew 26:51-52; Mark 10:41-45; Luke 9:51-55, 10:17-20, 22:24-27; John 13:1-17. What additional insights do you find?              

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at the next element of a flourishing culture: Mission Focus

All leaders expect those under them to follow, but there is also a sense in which serving leaders follow those under them!  Paul’s exhortation lays the foundation for our reflections.

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV).

Paul was the leader, actively seeking to shape the faith community at Corinth. But he was also a follower and was shaped by the people he led. Serving leadership is not a one-directional exchange between the leader and the follower. It is a reciprocal relationship in which communication and learning happen in both directions. What are the ways that serving leaders follow those under them?

Serving leaders follow those under them by listening for connection.  

Paul had a personal relationship with the church at Corinth. He had spent time with them, he knew their stories, their hopes and dreams. He had strong connections with them. Some leaders see those under them simply as workers. But serving leaders see those under them as people, not machines or robots doing a task. The people who show up for work or attend the church service have needs, challenges, joys and concerns about their lives. They are unique individuals. Serving leaders want to connect with the heart of those they serve. So, they take time to listen, seeking to understand the people they are leading.  This may be in a formal one on one meeting in which the leader asks questions like, “How are you really doing?” “What brings you the greatest joy in life right now?” “Are there personal goals you have that you would like me to know about?” Or it might be a quick question at the beginning of the day like, “How was your son’s soccer game last night?” Serving leaders listen carefully to learn to know the people they serve so that they can connect with them. They follow by listening for understanding.

Serving leaders follow those under them by asking for feedback.   

Some leaders assume that since they are leading and others are following, everything must be alright! But serving leaders humbly acknowledge that they have blind spots. They are willing to ask for feedback from those they lead. They recognize that the only ones who know what it is like to be led by them are those under their leadership! They also realize that followers are not likely to offer feedback unless they feel it is safe to do so and that it is welcomed. So, serving leaders are willing to ask for feedback either formally or informally. They follow by asking for feedback.

Serving leaders follow those under them by adjusting for impact.   

Some leaders seek to treat everyone in the same way and expect those who follow to adjust to their style of leadership. But serving leaders recognize that they are in a position of authority to serve those who follow so they pay attention to the needs of the followers and adjust their leadership accordingly. They allow the feedback of those who follow to help them become better leaders. Because they listen well, they realize that individuals have different needs. Some need more time to adjust to change than others. Some need grace because of a personal challenge they are facing while others need firmness. Some need the details while others want the big picture. Paul rebuked Peter openly; but quietly wrote letters to Timothy. He adjusted his leadership to meet the needs of those under him. Serving leaders follow those under them by adjusting their leadership style to best serve them.  

Serving leaders follow those above them, those over them, those ahead of them, those around them and those under them. Serving leaders lead well…by following well!

For further reflection and discussion:

• How do I take time to listen to those under my leadership? How well do I know their dreams and their fears? What steps can I take this week to listen more carefully?    
• In what ways do I welcome feedback from those who follow me? How will I respond to the feedback?
• Reflect on the needs of 4 or 5 people who follow you. What are the unique leadership needs of each one? How will I adjust my leadership to meet these needs?  
• Read 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. Reflect on how these verses demonstrate the way that Paul followed well and adapted his leadership to serve those he wanted to reach. What do I learn from Paul’s example that I can apply in my own leadership?  

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll begin a new series on how Paul lived out the Five Actions of Serving Leadership.  

Serving leaders create a world in which people thrive. This world is described by Paul:

¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶ From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work (Ephesians 4:11-16). 

Paul’s vision is of a thriving body, where leaders are doing their work and the followers have also found their place to thrive. In this issue, we focus on how serving leaders produce thriving as they set the values of the organization. The Serving Leader Model® calls this “Raise the Bar”. Values answers the question, “How will we relate to each other and those we serve?”  

Serving leaders set the values by naming them.   

Paul clearly identifies at least one value in this passage, “speaking the truth in love.” He wants to make clear the kind of communication that is expected in this body so he names it.  All organizations have values whether or not they are named. You can observe the values of any group by observing behaviors and noticing what is allowed, what is encouraged and what is rewarded. However many leaders don’t name their values, they just focus on getting the work done with little thought or concern about how people are relating to each other. But serving leaders, like Paul, take the time to think about the values that they want to see expressed in the organization and name them.  They find a few values that they really want to focus on and keep them in front of everyone in the organization.

Serving leaders set the values by defining them.

A value like “speaking the truth in love” may look good on the wall, but what does it actually mean in daily interactions? Some leaders assume that if a value is named, everyone will understand what it means. But serving leaders understand that values need to be clearly defined if they are to impact behavior. So they work hard to define what each value looks like in real life. They give examples of what it looks like as well as what it does not look like and make sure everyone understands what that value looks like. Then serving leaders look for opportunities to connect an action they observe with a value of the organization.

Serving leaders set the values by enforcing them.

What happens when someone does not speak “truth” or not speak it “in love”? This is a test for leaders.  Followers watch closely to see what happens when a value is not practiced. They watch to see if the leader practices the value or just tells others to practice it. They watch to see if all will be held accountable or only certain persons. Some leaders are not willing to uniformly hold everyone to the shared values. But serving leaders hold the standards high and enforce them diligently. They are willing to have hard conversations around values instead of hoping that with time the behaviors will change. They understand that naming, defining and enforcing values creates a thriving world for their organization.

 Where values are clearly understood, defined and enforced, people thrive!

For further reflection and discussion:

-Reflect on your own leadership in the area of values. How effectively does my leadership name, clarify and enforce values? How does my leadership in this area impact the thriving of our team?

-Are the values of my organization clearly named? If so, how well am I living out these values as a leader? If not, use the tool below to name your values. You may want to do this with your leadership team or other key individuals in your organization.

-How well does every person on our team understand what our values look like in real life? What can I do this week to strengthen our team in this area?

-Is there someone on our team that has been violating a value but I have not taken any action? What do I need to do and when will I do it?

-Read again the scripture above (Ephesians 4:11-16). Are there other values implied in this passage? If so, what are they?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how serving leaders create thriving by sharing the mission.

Click here for a resource from Center for Serving Leadership to help you in this area: Values Discovery and Definition Tool.

Serving Leaders Produce a Thriving World: They Shape the Vision

 September 18, 2024

Snippet:  Reflections for Serving Leaders, latest issue

Serving leadership works! Serving leadership produces environments where people come to life, find meaning and purpose, and bring their best selves to the mission of the organization. Everything, even the bottom line, improves and thrives as a result!

The biblical foundation for serving leadership, and The Serving Leader Model®, is found in Paul’s vision for the church.

¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶ From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work (Ephesians 4:11-16).  

The serving leadership principles outlined by Paul in this passage produce a thriving church and will also produce a thriving workplace because they are based on God’s design for the universe! In this series, we’ll look at five actions serving leaders take. First, in this issue, the shaping of vision. The Serving Leader Model® calls this “Run to Great Purpose”. Vision addresses the question, “Why do we exist and why does it matter?”  

Serving leaders shape the vision by identifying purpose.    

Paul invites his readers to see the purpose of where they are going. “…until we all reach unity…we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” As he describes this vision he gives meaning and purpose to all that they are doing.  

Some leaders focus on the tasks people need to do and push for completion of the tasks without articulating a higher purpose. But serving leaders connect the work to a higher purpose. They clarify the purpose and share it with everyone in the organization. This does not mean that they must create a new or different vision from a previous leader but they do ensure that it is clearly identified.  

Serving leaders shape the vision by raising purpose high.

Some leaders put a purpose statement on their official documents but never refer to it again. But serving leaders work continually to keep it in front of the people they serve. They talk about it; they share stories that connect with the purpose. Serving leaders help people thrive by continually keeping the vision in front of the entire team.  

Serving leaders shape the vision by embedding purpose.

Some leaders talk about their vision but don’t deliberately get the vision embedded into the systems of the organization. But serving leaders keep working until every aspect of the organization is infused with purpose. This includes all the internal systems. Serving leaders ensure that vision is used when bringing new people to the team; they use the great purpose to evaluate individual and team performance and they use their purpose to make financial decisions. They recognize that where purpose is clearly identified, continually shared and embedded throughout the organization people thrive!

For further reflection and discussion:

-Reflect on your own leadership in the area of vision/purpose. How effectively does my leadership shape the vision of my organization? How does my leadership in this area impact the thriving of our team?

-Do we have a clearly defined vision? If so, what can I do this week to raise it higher? If not, what process will I follow to develop one?  (Use the Vision Discovery tool below to assist you in this process.

-How well is our vision embedded into all our internal systems? What is one step we can take to include vision in our internal training?

-Read again the scripture above (Ephesians 4:11-16) considering your organization in the area of vision or great purpose. What is one step you can take this week to improve?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

Click here for a resource from Center for Serving Leadership to help you in this area: Vision Discovery Tool

In the next issue, we’ll look at how serving leaders create thriving by setting the values.  

The Five Actions of Serving Leadership recognized and taught by Dr. John Stahl-Wert are universal actions that every great serving leader uses to build high performing teams. These actions work in every sphere of society and in all types of organizations.

In this series we’ll look at how Nehemiah demonstrated these five actions in rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem. The first action, Run to Great Purpose, focuses on clarifying and embedding the great purpose, or vision, into the organization.  Nehemiah developed a great purpose as he listened to the report of those who came from Jerusalem and spent time in prayer.   

³ They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” ⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. ⁵ Then I said:…. ⁸ “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying,…. I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name’ (Nehemiah 1:3-8, portions, NIV).

Later, when Nehemiah traveled to Jerusalem, he spoke these words to the people:

Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace. (Nehemiah 2:17)

Nehemiah models how serving leaders Run to Great Purpose.

Serving Leaders Run to Great Purpose by addressing the importance.

Nehemiah mourned and wept over the condition of Jerusalem and was convinced that rebuilding the wall would make a significant difference for the nation. The broken wall was a sign of “trouble and disgrace” and God had promised to gather people in Jerusalem around His temple. Nehemiah’s vision to build the wall was inspired by issues that would make a difference in the world.  The vision was not about bricks and mortar, it was about removing disgrace and recapturing God’s purpose for the city. Some leaders fail to tie daily activities to a greater purpose. But serving leaders create a compelling vision that provides meaning for every aspect of the work.  Nehemiah might have said it this way: “You’re not just putting stones on top of each other, you are removing disgrace and restoring this city to its destiny!”

Serving Leaders Run to Great Purpose by articulating the need.

When Nehemiah addressed the people, his first words articulated the need of the moment, “You see the trouble we are in…”  There was a need for a wall, but the people had become so accustomed to walking past piles of rubble that they didn’t notice the need until Nehemiah pointed it out. Every organization exists to meet a need in the world. Some leaders fail to make the connection between the everyday activities of people and the need. But serving leaders articulate the need and connect it to the great purpose.

Serving Leaders Run to Great Purpose by appealing to emotion.

In his appeal Nehemiah says, Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.  As he mentions disgrace Nehemiah is appealing to their hearts and emotion. He recognized that until peoples’ emotions were engaged, they would not devote themselves to the hard work of building the wall. This is not an emotional plea, but an appeal to the emotions. Some leaders deliberately avoid emotions and assume that work is all about the task. But serving leaders recognize that emotions are a key factor in motivation. They find ways to touch the hearts of the people they serve and connect their emotion to the great purpose.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• What is the great purpose of my organization? Is it clearly stated and understood by everyone? Does the work of every person in the organization help us accomplish that great purpose? How do I communicate with every person how their actions help us accomplish the great purpose?
• What need does my organization meet? What difference would it make if we were not in existence? Have I deliberately articulated that to everyone in the organization?
• Do I see emotions as important for the work we do as an organization or have I viewed emotions with suspicion? What difference does this make in my leadership? How can I deliberately link an individuals work with their emotions?
• Read the entire story of Nehemiah and reflect on other ways that he demonstrated this action, Run to Great Purpose. What do you observe from his life and in what way can you follow his example?        

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how Nehemiah used values in his leadership.

Finally, as a free gift to you, click here to download one tool to help you put this action into practice in your organization. For more information about The Five Actions of Serving Leadership read the book, The Serving Leader, or visit www.CenterforServingLeadership.com.

Timothy quickly learned that a significant part of leadership is passing on to others what he knew and believed. He learned to teach. Reflect on the following instructions from Paul to Timothy:

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Timothy 2:24, NIV).

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.  2 Timothy 4:2 (NIV)

¹You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. ² And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others (2 Timothy 2:1–2).

These are the things you are to teach and insist on (1 Timothy 6:2).

Timothy was a gifted teacher and served well by teaching well. All leaders, even those whose primary gifting is not teaching, can learn from him how to better serve those they lead through effective teaching.

Timothy learned to teach by defining his motive.   

Timothy first needed to learn to teach for the right reasons and with the right heart towards those he led. So, Paul instructs Timothy to check his motives for teaching. Some leaders teach to win an argument or prove their point. But Timothy learned that serving leaders are not to be “quarrelsome.” Some leaders teach with resentment towards those who know less than they do and are impatient with the learners. Timothy learned that serving leaders are not “resentful” and they have “great patience.” Serving leaders get their hearts in the right place before they open their mouths to teach.

Timothy learned to teach by determining his message.   

Timothy next learned to think critically about the content of his teaching. He learned from Paul to focus on “…the things you have heard me say…these are the things you are to teach.” Timothy learned that not every message is of equal importance. He learned to give careful thought to what he would teach. Some leaders teach whatever happens to be at the top of their mind in the moment. But serving leaders give careful thought to the content of their teaching and methodically share what is most important. Serving leaders focus their message on things that really matter for the organization, especially the vision, mission, and values.  

Timothy learned to teach by developing his methods.  

With the right motive and the correct message, Timothy also learned how to use effective methods as a teacher. He heard Paul insist that he be “able to teach” and to train those he served to “be qualified to teach others.” Timothy understood that effective teaching requires continual growth in learning what methods best serve the audience. Some teachers assume that it is the work of the audience to figure out what they are saying and what needs to be done in response. But serving leaders strive to use teaching methods that make the message crystal clear. They learn from their mistakes and adjust their style to serve those in the audience. They observe and learn from other communicators how to communicate effectively. And they ask for feedback from others to continually strengthen their teaching methods because they understand that teaching well is serving well.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• How can I develop the ability to teach others in my own life? In the three areas we examined (motives, my message, and methods) where am I strongest? Weakest? When I examine my own heart and motive for teaching others, what do I discover? How carefully do I consider the content of what I teach others? What are the next steps for me to strengthen my ability to teach well?
• Reflect on those you lead. What steps can I take this week to help them develop their own ability to teach others?      
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 1 Timothy 6:2-5; 2 Timothy 1:6, 13-14; and 2:14. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy learned to teach?         

In this series we have been looking at the life of Timothy. If you haven’t already this would be a great time to read through the two books in the Bible with his name, written to him by Paul. As you read, reflect on what Timothy did to grow as a leader and how his actions apply to your own growth. 

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler,

In the next issue, we’ll look at a final characteristic of Timothy’s leadership, how he learned to fight!

One of the marks of Timothy’s great leadership was his ability to connect with people from different generations. Consider these instructions from Paul:

¹Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity (1 Timothy 5:1–2, NIV).

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

 As Timothy followed these instructions he learned, even as a young leader, how to connect with and lead those who were older and those who were younger.

Timothy connected across generations by respecting consciously.

As Paul talked to Timothy about how to relate to other generations he used the analogy of a family. He challenged Timothy to treat the older generation like fathers and mothers, and younger persons like sisters and brothers. Healthy families treat parents with respect and care tenderly for those who are younger. Good families show conscious respect for the different generations.

Some leaders focus on the task that is to be done with no consideration of the person doing the task. They expect production and treat everyone by the same standard. Serving leaders learn to consciously respect and value those who are from other generations. They listen to and gain wisdom from those who are older and have more experience. They treat younger persons with gentleness as they learn and grow.

Timothy connected across generations by talking carefully.

Paul tells Timothy, “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.” Correction is one of the most difficult tasks in leadership and doing it with those who are from another generation adds complexity! Timothy learns to talk carefully by thinking of the older man as a father and reflecting on how he would address a problem with his father.

Leaders often rebuke or correct with little thought about the person receiving the correction. They see themselves as the boss and assume that others should change when they bring correction no matter how it is delivered. But serving leaders focus on the person as a human being with their own need to be valued and respected. They carefully adjust their correction by considering the age and specific needs of that individual.  

Timothy connected across generations by loving completely.

Paul challenged the young leader Timothy to be an example in many areas including love. Generational differences require greater effort to understand and appreciate. A heart of love is fundamental to bridge these gaps.  

Some leaders view love as a ‘soft’ leadership trait that has little value. But at the heart of serving leaders is a genuine care for others, a desire to see them succeed and thrive. Because they love, serving leaders seek to understand and appreciate those from different generations, both those who are older and those who are younger. They listen and ask questions to gain understanding and then adjust their leadership to meet the needs of those they serve. As they exercise effective leadership they build strong, multi-generational teams.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How would I describe my leadership towards those who are older? Younger? Do I find it easier to connect with those who are older or those who are younger? Why? How can I develop stronger connections with persons from other generations that I lead?
• Reflect on those you lead. What can I do to encourage them to develop greater inter-generational understanding?       
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 2 Timothy 2:22-26 and 3:2. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy understood and lead with the unique challenges of different generations?  

For further learning on this topic, I highly recommend Tim Elmore’s book, A New Kind of Diversity, which focuses on the broad spectrum of generations currently in the workforce and the value each brings to the team.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler In the next issue, we’ll examine how Timothy learned to teach.

As he developed his leadership capacity one of the areas that Timothy needed to learn was the discipline of self-control. Consider these instructions from Paul to the young leader:  

I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy (2 Timothy 1:3–4, NIV).

Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:25–26).

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly (2 Timothy 2:16).

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales; rather, train yourself to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).

These passages reveal three areas in which Timothy learned self-control.

Timothy learned to control his temper.  

Paul remembers Timothy’s tears and urges him to instruct “gently” when he would be tempted to lash out in anger.  Sorrow and anger are two of the many emotions that every leader faces. Paul does not rebuke Timothy for these emotions, but tenderly encourages self-control, one of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). Anger is perhaps one of the most potentially destructive emotions for leaders. No one wants to follow a leader who cannot control their temper and a lack of self-control in this area has hindered the effectiveness of many leaders.   A temper out of control is a leadership nightmare.

But serving leaders both acknowledge and control their emotions. They are not afraid to reveal their tears and they learn to keep their anger from being destructive.  They acknowledge that they can’t serve others when they lose their temper.  

Timothy learned to control his tongue.   

We have already observed Paul’s instruction for Timothy to instruct his opponents “gently”. Paul recognized that it requires great self-control to speak gently when there is direct opposition! The tongue often verbally expresses the anger in the heart and will not lead to the repentance encouraged by a gentle tongue. Paul also warns Timothy against “godless chatter….godless myths and old wives tales..” He is referring broadly to speech that is not helpful. While words spoken in anger are obviously harmful, other speech is simply not helpful and Paul cautions Timothy to control his tongue so as to avoid this kind of speech. Many leaders have tongues that are as unpredictable as the weather and are more harmful than helpful. But serving leaders seek to control what comes out of their mouths so that it is never harmful and always helpful.

Timothy learned to control his time.   

Part of Paul’s instruction to Timothy to “avoid godless chatter” and “old wives tales” is a direct challenge for him to use his time well. Here and in other places Paul urged Timothy to be diligent in focusing his time and attention to the things that matter and to avoid distractions. In some cases Paul urged Timothy to “Come quickly” while at other times not to be “hasty” (see 1 Timothy 5:22 and 2 Timothy 4:9). Timothy had to learn to manage his time well. If these instructions were given today we might hear Paul say, “Don’t waste your time on useless conversations and following the latest controversies on social media!” Many leaders allow the tyranny of the urgent to keep them from the most effective use of their time. Serving leaders learn to control their schedule so that they are doing the things that best bring value to those they serve.

For further reflection and discussion:

• Which of these three areas (temper, tongue and time) are most difficult for me to control right now? Reflect on the question below for that area:

*Temper. When have I lost my temper in leadership and how did it impact my influence with others?

*Tongue. In what way do I use my tongue in ways that are not helpful for those I lead? What do I need to do to more fully allow God to help me develop self-control in this area?

*Time. What are my greatest time wasters? What do I need to do to develop greater self-control in this area?

• Reflect on those you lead. How do I encourage them to develop control of themselves that goes far beyond obeying external instructions? Which of these three areas should I be talking about with my key leaders?        
• In addition to the verses we used in this issue, consider the following: 1 Timothy 5:22; 2 Timothy 2:4; 4:2, 9-12, 21. What additional insights do you find from these verses about how Timothy learned self-control?           

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how Timothy became a role model to others.

This Christmas season believers all over the world reflect on the amazing story of God entering our world as baby. It is a story filled with angels, dreams, miracles, and awe. At the center of the story we find Joseph and Mary on a journey to Bethlehem, finding a stable in which to spend the night when Jesus was born. While there are so many facets to this story and so many leadership lessons, let’s look at Joseph’s role in this story. Amazingly, we don’t have any recorded words from this man. He served with silence! (Read his story in Matthew 1-2 and Luke 2.)  This is not to imply that he didn’t speak, only that nothing he said is recorded. His silence challenges all serving leaders to learn to serve with silence.

Serving with silence enhances listening.

Joseph’s silence encouraged him to listen and to listen well! When he was considering how to respond to his pregnant fiancé he listened as God spoke to him in a dream. (Matthew 1:18-21). It would have been much harder for him to hear God’s voice if he had loudly declared what he was intending to do. The plan was already in his mind, but had not come out of his mouth and he was able to listen and change his plans. He listened again when his dream instructed them to flee to Egypt to avoid the wrath of king Herod. He modeled well the words that James, possibly his son, would write later, “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear” (James 1:19, MSG). Perhaps James learned this by observing his father.

Many leaders focus on what they say and spend more time speaking than listening. Josef teaches serving leaders that silence enhances listening. Serving leaders recognize that when they are speaking they are not listening.

Serving with silence elevates others.

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him (Matthew 2:9-11a, NIV). Joseph was not even mentioned in the visit of the wise men! And in many other places Mary is named first and honored more. Joseph often acted as a strong leader. He took Mary to be his wife after hearing from the angel. He named Jesus and presented Him in the temple. He guided the family on international journeys. But he did it with few words, none recorded for us. His silence elevated others!

Many leaders elevate themselves by talking a lot. Serving leaders learn that when they are silent about themselves, others can shine. They are quick to give credit to others on their teams instead of drawing attention to themselves. They recognize that speaking often elevates the speaker while silence elevates others.

Serving with silence encourages humility.

After the story of Jesus in the temple at 12 years old, we don’t hear any further mention of Joseph. Mary is sometimes mentioned before Joseph and sometimes he is omitted completely. Joseph served with silence and did not protest about the lack of credit for his leadership. This silence reflects his humility. His ability to listen and elevate others shows the humble heart of a serving leader.

Many leaders speak and make sure that everyone around knows what they have accomplished and the impact they have made in the world. But serving leaders quietly and often silently lead with humility. Silence encourages humility by keeping leaders in a less visible place.

The silence of Joseph is a timely example to all serving leaders. His example certainly does not imply that we should not speak. But he challenges us to serve more by speaking less.  

For further reflection and discussion:

• How often do I lead with silence? What does the life of Joseph call me to practice in my leadership?
• Am I quicker to speak or to listen? How does that impact my leadership? What can I do to strengthen my ability to listen well?
• Are there ways recently that I have elevated myself by speaking? What can I do to elevate others more consistently?
• What does the amount of speaking I do reflect about my heart? Does it reflect pride or humility?                     

Merry Christmas to each of you! It’s a privilege to write these reflections and I’m grateful that you read them. Give a gift to a friend by forwarding this to them and encouraging them to subscribe!

CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR YOU! Center for Serving Leadership has a special Christmas gift, a free offer on our Serving Leader Short Course, normally priced at $99, now FREE until Jan. 2, 2023. Click here to enroll.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll begin a series on Paul’s leadership pipeline.

Serving leaders don’t avoid authority, they use it to serve! They welcome authority as a way to build others up, move the organization in the direction it needs to go, etc. Paul, as we saw in the last issue, used authority to build others up. Now, let’s reflect on a short statement he made which is packed with leadership insights about authority.  

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV).

Paul boldly and unapologetically calls the believers at Corinth to follow his example! He is using his authority to spur them on in the direction they need to go. He is serving by using authority and his statement provides several insights into how serving leaders use authority.  

Using authority involves modeling.

“Follow my example, as I follow….” Paul makes it very clear that he is not asking others to do something that he is now willing to do. He is calling them to do what they have seen him doing. He models to his followers what he asks them to do. He models being under authority before exercising authority. He is a follower before he is a leader. Some leaders give directions but don’t model what they ask others to do. Serving leaders first show the way and then call others to follow. This compels serving leaders to first examine their own lives before they call others to follow. They recognize that they need to model the values, mission and purpose of the organization they lead before they can boldly ask others to follow. Where they fall short, they acknowledge their failure and seek to improve. Then, they are not ashamed to tell others, “Live and work like I do!” Serving leaders model the way before using their authority to ask others to follow. They serve others by modeling the way.

Using authority implies direction.

Paul, in these few words was clearly using his authority to providing direction to those who followed him.  “Follow my example…” He is not ashamed to set the standards of what he expects from his followers. As he does this, he brings focus and clarity to the direction he is calling people to go. Some leaders are reluctant to point others in a clear direction. They feel that serving others means moving only when everyone agrees. Leaders who seek consensus from everyone often cannot move forward. Serving leaders understand that their authority is given to them for the purpose of setting direction. They gladly seek input and counsel from their team but they do not hesitate to clearly articulate the direction needed. They serve the mission of the organization by clearly pointing out the direction which is needed.   

Using authority inspires action.

Leadership involves getting things done, using authority to help people move in the desired direction.  Paul’s instruction here is a clear call to action for the believers in Corinth. He sets the example with his own life. He points out the direction that movement is needed. As he serves with these leadership actions he inspires action from the followers.

Paul’s instruction here can be lost in the context of his showing an example, but he says “Follow” as a command, an instruction. It is a call to action, to movement in a direction.

Some leaders use their position to call people to action. They use the power of a paycheck or other incentives to help people act. But serving leaders use their authority to inspire others to act. As serving leaders model the way and clarify direction, they inspire action! Those who follow understand what is expected of them and they are motivated to move forward. A serving leader is in charge to charge others up! They serve by inspiring action from others.

For further reflection and discussion:

• How well do I model the purpose, values and mission of the organization I lead? How does this impact my ability to serve my team? Can I say with confidence, “Follow my example”?
• How effectively do I use my authority to provide direction to those that I serve? Am I more inclined to lead only when there is consensus or to lead without consulting others? What can I do to strengthen the clarity of direction needed in my organization?
• How well does my leadership inspire others to act? Are there ways that I use my leadership authority to force others to act rather than inspire them to act?                     

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll look at how serving leaders release authority.