Healthy leaders understand that their heart shapes everything they do. They pay attention to their emotions—not to be ruled by them, but to guide them in the right direction. Great leaders don’t suppress emotions; they shepherd them. Our heart can be guided in the right direction. Consider these scriptures:  

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me (John 14:1, NIV).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6–7).

Listen, my son, and be wise, and set your heart on the right path (Proverbs 23:19).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5–6)

These verses make it clear that we have a responsibility to guide our hearts and emotions. How can we guide the direction of our heart?

We guide our heart by refusing its wrong directions.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” He addressed their fear of the future and anxiety over His departure. But His words clearly indicate that we have the power and the responsibility to refuse to live with emotions that take us in the wrong direction.    

Some leaders learn to acknowledge their emotions but do not make any effort to change them. They might say to their team, “That’s just the way I feel and nothing is going to change it.” But serving leaders identify emotions that take their heart in the wrong direction and they refuse to dwell there. They say, “That’s the way I feel, but I’m not going to move in that direction!”

We guide our heart by replacing its wrong directions.

Jesus’ words to the disciples implied that the way to be set free from their troubled hearts was to focus on their belief in Him. Paul makes the same point clear when he talks about anxiety in Philippians. He recognizes that when our emotions lead us in the wrong direction it is not enough to refuse the wrong emotion, it must be replaced with another.  So, he instructs us to replace anxiety with prayer and thanksgiving. Focusing on prayer with thanksgiving will result in “the peace of God” replacing anxiety. It is difficult to be anxious and thankful at the same time!

Some leaders acknowledge that their emotion is not healthy, but don’t do the hard work of replacing it with a better one. But serving leaders ask God to help them find a replacement for that emotion. They are willing to spend time in prayer or giving thanks when they feel anxiety welling up within them.

We guide our heart by redirecting it in the right direction.

 How does this apply to our emotions and hearts? Not only are we invited to refuse to allow our emotions to go in the wrong direction and to replace specific emotions as Paul instructed, but the writer of Proverbs invites us to redirect our hearts on the right path. A path implies a direction that continues over time leading to a destination. Finding the right path happens as we learn to “trust in the Lord with all your heart…lean not on your own understanding…submit to him.” This is a lifelong process of learning to put our trust in the Lord and to submit to His ways. We learn to submit our hearts and emotions to Him, openly acknowledging what we feel but then submitting those feelings to Him and asking for His power to set our emotions on the right path.

Some leaders try to change their hearts on their own by sheer willpower or effort. They tell themselves, “I won’t get angry again!” But serving leaders acknowledge that without God’s help, their hearts will not follow the right path. They submit their emotions to Him and find the right path. They cry out, “God, I don’t want my heart to follow a path of anger, please redirect my emotions to your path.”

 Effective leaders pay attention to the condition of their hearts and take the journey towards emotional health. This allows them to lead others from a place of peace instead of anxiety.

For further reflection and discussion:

• In what ways has my leadership been led by my emotions? (If you are unsure, ask a trusted friend for their input.)
• Have I viewed my emotions as within my control or out of my control? How has this impacted my leadership?
• What emotions do I experience regularly that take me in the wrong direction? How aware am I of how these emotions impact my life and leadership? Who receives the greatest impact of these emotions?
• What replacements could I make for these emotions? Are there actions I could take that would help to replace these emotions with more helpful ones?   
• What is the general “path” of my emotional health, is it heading in the right direction or the wrong direction? How is this a reflection of my capacity to not lean on my own understanding, but submit to God?
• In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Deuteronomy 6:5-6; Psalm 37:4, 42:5, 51:10, 119:11; Proverbs 4:23, 23:17, 24:17; Ezekiel 36:26; Matthew 6:21; Colossians 3:15.     How do these verses deepen my understanding about how to guide my heart?     

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll begin a new series!

If you want a single document with all three issues of this series, click here.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

Healthy leaders pay attention to their heart, the seat of their emotions. In the previous issue we recognized the power of our heart to direct our lives and the difficulty in understanding it. David acknowledged his desire to have an undivided heart. He also cried out to God for help in understanding the condition of his heart.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:23).

David’s cry to God to search, know and test his heart was his attempt to gauge the condition of his heart. His cry gives serving leaders insight into how we can begin to understand the condition of our hearts.

The condition of our heart is gauged with vulnerability.   

David’s posture is one of extreme vulnerability. He cries out to God to take a close look into the depths of his own heart and soul, to “search” and “know” and “test” his heart—a risky step but vital step towards understanding his heart.  Already in the first verses of this Psalm, David has already acknowledged that God knows his thoughts and words even before they are expressed. (See Ps. 139:1-6). So, now he is secure enough to invite God to help him understand his own heart. For leaders, vulnerability is not weakness—it is a strength that brings greater self-awareness and cultivates trust with those who follow.

 Some leaders choose to lead without vulnerability. They focus on getting the work done and consider any discussion of emotions as conversation for weak leaders.  But serving leaders recognize that their emotions impact their leadership and the condition of their heart is of primary importance. So, they are willing to be vulnerable with themselves, with God and others. 

The condition of our heart is gauged by searching. 

David’s primary request of God is “Search me…” This implies sustained, intentional attention to his heart. He welcomes God into this space to help him understand the condition of his heart. 

Some leaders prefer not to search their hearts and have no desire to know what is happening deep in their heart.  But serving leaders intentionally search for understanding of their internal world, their heart. They acknowledge that they cannot see their own blind spots and ask God and others for help.

The condition of our heart is gauged by acknowledging emotions.

David asks God to examine his “anxious thoughts.” He acknowledges that he has the emotion of anxiety and invites God to help him find out what it says about his heart. Identifying and acknowledging emotions is not an easy task for leaders. Leaders often notice only a few surface emotions but struggle to identify deeper feelings below the surface. In a meeting they may recognize frustration but not be aware of the anxiety driving it. This has been an area of continued growth for me! I have worked hard in this area and still have much to learn!  I have been helped by using a “feelings wheel”(*) to identify and acknowledge what I am feeling. 

Some leaders prefer not to take the risk of acknowledging their emotions. They may recognize an occasional outburst of emotion when it is evident to all but certainly have no interest in digging deeper to see what is under the surface. But serving leaders want to know and understand what is happening in their hearts. They pause often to reflect on what they are feeling, not simply what they are thinking.

For further reflection and discussion:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how aware am I of my own emotions? How does this impact my leadership?

How often am I vulnerable enough to ask God, or someone close to me, to help me understand what is happening in my emotions? Do I need the help of a counselor or professional to help me in this area?

What causes me anxiety as a leader? Do I notice what issues are on my mind when I wake up in the morning—signs of my subconscious emotions? 

Are there lies I have allowed myself to believe about my emotions? If so, how can I align my thoughts with truth? (For example, many leaders see some emotions as “good” and some as “bad.” Since we want to be good, it is difficult to acknowledge an emotion we have labeled as “bad.” There might be many other falsehoods we have accepted about emotions that are not aligned with scripture.)

What is the difference between healthy awareness of emotion and being emotional as a leader? (Reflect on what it means to be aware of emotion that informs our leadership vs. allowing feelings to determine our words and actions.) Which side do you tend to lead from?

In addition to the verses mentioned in this issue, read and reflect on the following verses about the heart: Psalm 13:2, 73:21-22; Proverbs 21:2, 29:11; Jeremiah 17:9-10; Matthew 26:37-38; Mark 3:5; Luke 19:41-44; John 11:33-35; and Philippians 4:7    How do these verses deepen my understanding about the condition of my heart?      

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

In the next issue, we’ll examine how to guard the direction of our heart.

*Many versions of “feelings wheel” can be found online, a sample is here.

Note: Some of the thoughts for this series were inspired by the book, The Wholehearted Leader, by Simon and Ceri Harris.  The book focuses primarily on the emotions of the heart and their impact on leadership. While the biblical view of the heart is broader than emotions, it certainly includes emotions, which is often overlooked in leadership. The book offers great insight on how leaders can lead with healthy hearts.

Every leader deals with questions like these about the future. These questions can easily lead to anxiety—a feeling of worry or nervousness about an imagined threat or future event.* In this issue, we’ll examine how David experienced the emotion of anxiety and what we can learn as servant leaders from his life.

¹⁶Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers? ¹⁷Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. ¹⁸When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. ¹⁹When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. ²⁰Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—a throne that brings on misery by its decrees? ²¹The wicked band together against the righteous and condemn the innocent to death. ²²But the LORD has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge. ²³He will repay them for their sins and destroy them for their wickedness; the LORD our God will destroy them. (Psalm 94:16-23)

Anxiety should be recognized. David has many questions as he wrestles with God in this psalm. He questions whether there will be justice for those who oppose him. These questions troubled him to the extent that he felt that his “foot is slipping,” and could lead him to the “silence of death.” In the middle of his questions he recognizes that he has anxiety in his heart.

Anxiety is usually seen as a negative emotion, so it is more difficult for leaders to acknowledge. David might have paused to ask himself, “What am I feeling?” At least he recognized his emotion of anxiety.

Many leaders don’t stop to recognize what they are feeling and may not even be aware of the anxiety in their souls. But servant leaders learn to recognize anxiety and be honest about what they are feeling.

Anxiety should be revealed. David recognizes his anxiety and brings it to the surface. Because anxiety is not a healthy or positive emotion, many leaders try to ignore it, to pretend that it’s not there or to call it by another name! But David is honest enough to admit that he has a “great” amount of anxiety!

We can learn from David that anxiety thrives in secrecy but can be dealt with when it is revealed. Servant leaders learn to reveal their anxiety. They find a trusted friend or counselor with whom they can be completely honest. They are not afraid to say, “I’m filled with anxiety about….” Sometimes the honest confession is enough to break the grip of anxiety in the life of the leader.

Anxiety should be restrained. All leaders look towards the future and can be immobilized by anxiety and unanswered questions. But David’s response to his anxiety shows us that this emotion does not need to control our leadership. As he revealed his anxiety, he quickly came to a place of hope. God’s “consolation” brought him joy to replace the anxiety. In the final verses of this chapter, he acknowledges that God is his “fortress” and the One who will take care of his future.

David teaches us to focus on the One who controls the future, instead of the lies our enemy wants us to believe. Servant leaders learn to restrain their anxiety as they trust God for their future and then lead others with courage.

Until next time, yours on the journey,

Jon Byler

For further reflection and discussion:

• What situations in my own life bring me the greatest temptation to be anxious? 
• How aware am I that I feel anxious? Am I able to quickly recognize this emotion?
• Are there fears that keep me from revealing to others that I am anxious about the future? What does this say about what is happening in my soul?
• What is at the root of my anxiety? What lies am I believing about myself, this situation, or about God?
• In what way does my anxiety represent a lack of trust in God?
• Reflect on 1 Peter 5:7. What does this verse teach me about my anxiety?

*We have already examined how David responded to fear which relates to a known danger or event. Anxiety differs from fear as it focuses on a future imagined event.

Copyright, Global Disciples 2018.