Issue #101, March 13, 2013
“Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, (1Timothy 3:2).
The fourth quality Paul lists as essential for those who desire to lead like Christ is “self-controlled.” He recognized that before seeking to exert influence over others, the leader must be able to exercise self-control. Self-control will be expressed in the life of a servant leader in three key areas.
Servant leaders control their time.
Leaders have the same amount of time as everyone else, but they learn to manage their time well. Servant leaders recognize that time is a gift from God, given to allow them to accomplish His purposes for their lives. Therefore they are passionate about using their time in His way. They are diligent to prioritize and work efficiently. But they acknowledge that God wants more than achievement. They balance time for doing and time for being. They invest time in building strong relationships as well as completing tasks. They honor God’s plan for Sabbath rest even when the demands of work and family are high. They take time for personal growth and development to better fulfill God’s purposes for their lives and leadership.
Servant leaders control their tongue.
Effective leaders understand the words of Solomon, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Prov. 18:21). In public and private the words of a leader impact many either for good or bad. Servant leaders have a genuine desire to bless others and make a positive impact in their lives. Therefore, they work diligently to eliminate all lies, gossip, idle talk, slander and harsh instructions from their tongue. They value relationships but strive to follow Paul’s instruction to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). They honor confidential information and resist the temptation to exaggerate. They honor their spoken commitments above the law.
Servant leaders control their temper.
Leaders have the same emotions as followers. Servant leaders acknowledge and appropriately express their emotions but recognize that if their emotions are not predictable, people will find it difficult to trust their leadership. Anger is one of the first emotions to be expressed and leaders are often in situations where they are blamed or attacked. Servant leaders learn that words spoken in anger and decisions made in an angry moment quickly undermine their ability to lead like Jesus.
The term self-control may imply that these things can be done with enough willpower. While servant leaders strive to evidence self-control, this character trait is not something we manufacture with our own effort. Servant leaders do not need another ‘self-help’ book urging them to try harder to be good. Paul notes that self-control is one of the evidences of the Spirit’s work in our lives (See Gal. 5:23). Servant leaders yield control to the work of the Spirit in their lives and enjoy the fruit of self-control.
Too often self-control is noted when it is absent and flaws are exposed. Samson was a leader who failed in this area. He was called, gifted and filled with God’s Spirit. But he repeatedly acted impulsively and allowed his passions to control his actions rather than exercising self-control. This sabotaged his leadership potential and his leadership is a tragic example of why Paul calls us to be self-controlled.
For further reflection and discussion:
Take a few moments to reflect on your own life. In which of the three areas mentioned in this issue (time, tongue, temper) do you most need God’s help? Work through the questions below for the one you identify.
- Time. Reflect on these scriptures as you respond to the following questions: Ps. 90:12; Eph. 5:15-16 (KJV); Acts 21:5; Exodus 20:8-11; Mark 6:31. How well do I use time to accomplish God’s plan for my life? Do I get adequate rest for my body? Do I spend too much or too little time on building relationships? What is my plan for honoring the principle of Sabbath rest?
- Tongue. Read Eph. 4:29. What areas of ‘unwholesome talk’ come out of my mouth? Which ones are most damaging to my relationships? What is the root attitude in my heart that leads to sin with my tongue? What percentage of my talk builds others up and what can I do to improve? As a leader how can I encourage a culture of speaking ‘truth in love’ among my followers? Is there a commitment I have made recently which I have not honored?
- Temper. Read James 1:19-20 and Prov. 29:22. Reflect on the most recent time you became angry. How did you express it and what was the impact of your actions on others? Do you need to ask forgiveness from those toward whom you have been angry?