Issue #33, June 9, 2010
Great servant leaders learn the power of saying “no.” They recognize that serving others does not always mean accepting every invitation or request for service. While they have a passion to do more for God, they recognize their own limitations and determine to focus on obedience to God’s will instead of the demands of others. They understand that serving others does not mean agreement with all of their requests. They follow the example of Jesus, Paul and other biblical leaders who had the strength to refuse many of the demands on their time and energy. Over 150 times in scripture the phrase “I will not” is used. Servant leaders learn when to say “no.”
Say “no” when the time is not right.
Sometimes the request is valid and the reasons are compelling, but the timing is not right. Jesus’ own brothers came to Him with an opportunity that seemed perfect to advance His career. But Jesus responded, “The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right.” (John 7:6) Sometimes the best response from a servant leader is “I cannot do it now.”
Say “no” when the priority is not right.
Many opportunities faced by servant leaders are not bad things. They are good things but not always the best. Choosing the best over the good requires saying “no” to something. Jesus told Martha, “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:42) Servant leaders recognize that saying “yes” to a business or ministry opportunity also means that something else will not get done. The chance to make more money or preach one more message might mean that our families or another priority is neglected. We need a “not to do” list along side our “to do” list in order to keep our priorities straight.
Say “no” when the motive is not right.
Leaders love to say “yes.” It’s a natural part of leadership! We want to accomplish our goals and achieve more. But often the desire to say “yes” comes from wrong motives. It may be a desire to please other people and valuing their approval above God’s approval. To truly serve others we must be set free from the desire to please others. When the option we are considering is more prestigious, will further our career, or bring more financial gain, our motive to say “yes” may be selfish. Check your motive for saying “yes.” Is it because God is calling you to do that act or is it a desire to please others or pursue selfish ends?
Say “no” when the direction is not right.
Servant leaders recognize that every choice has consequences that will lead us in a certain direction. Paul was headed for Jerusalem when the Ephesian elders wanted more time with him. He recognized that saying “yes” would not allow him to move in God’s direction for him. So he said “no”! (Acts 18:20) Sometimes God clearly directs a leader to move in another direction, perhaps even contrary to what seems like common sense. Philip left a great revival to obey God’s direction to meet the needs of the Ethiopian eunuch (Acts 8). Servant leaders seek to always move in the direction to which God is leading them.
How can we learn to say “no” at the right times? Paul shared the key with Titus, an emerging servant leader, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…” (Titus 2:11-12) May that grace of God be yours and mine and teach us to say “no!”
For further reflection and discussion:
- Am I able to say “no” at the right times? When have I said “no” recently?
- Do I have a need to please others? How can I be set free from this need?
- Does saying “no” conflict with serving others? Why or why not?
- When I should say “no” how can I communicate this to others in a way that honors our relationship?
- Of the things that I am currently doing, are there some to which I should say “no?”
- Of the opportunities that are in front of me, to which ones should I say “no?”