Issue #195, November 30, 2016
Leaders talk! But servant leaders acknowledge that there is a time to talk and a time to be silent. In this issue and the next, we’ll look at when it is time to speak up and when it’s time to shut up! A couple of verses about speaking help focus our thoughts.
A man finds joy in giving an apt reply– and how good is a timely word! (Proverbs 15:23). Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
An “apt” reply is one that is appropriate or suitable in the situation. When it is appropriate and given as, “a timely word,” the impact is significant. Servant leaders speak up with the right words at the right time. They may pause, assessing the need and waiting for the right time. But when it is time, they speak up. Paul’s instructions teach servant leaders that it’s time to speak up in at least three situations.
It’s time to speak up when we can build others up.
“helpful for building others up” The words of a servant leader are to build and strengthen those who are listening. The words are intended not to tear down but to lift others up. This does not mean that every word must be affirmative but each word must be helpful. If it is not helpful it is best not to speak it. Every leader has power in what they speak to either build or to destroy. Servant leaders look for ways to build others and when they see an opportunity they are quick to speak up. Keeping quiet means that the other will not be built up.
It’s time to speak up when we can meet a need of others.
“according to their needs” Words are intended to meet a need in the listener. Instead, often leaders speak from their own need. They feel a need to be recognized so they talk about their accomplishments. They feel a need to be affirmed, so they highlight their successes. They have a need to seem powerful so they communicate a compelling vision to change the world. But servant leaders only speak up when they can meet the need of another person. The need might be for encouragement. If so, the servant leader speaks words that bring life and strength to that person. The need might be an injustice that demands action. Servant leaders are not afraid to speak out and call for a response. This is not a time to be quiet! The need might be a correction. If so, the servant leader carefully, but courageously, speaks words to correct or rebuke. The need may be a physical need. To keep quiet is wrong; the servant leader will speak up and see what can be done to meet this need. Sometimes the servant leader speaks on behalf of the needs of others and advocates for them, raising the money or support that is needed. In all these situations, the focus of the servant leader is not on their own needs but the needs of others. If the leader is silent, a need will remain unmet.
It’s time to speak up when others benefit.
“that it may benefit those who listen” Servant leaders seek always to add value to others, they want the listener to benefit. When they have something beneficial to say, they speak up loud and clear! If they can’t benefit the other, they recognize that it is time to be quiet. When followers need motivation, the leader shares the vision and everyone benefits as they move forward together. If the leader keeps quiet, no one benefits.
In all three situations, the servant leaders’ focus is on ‘others’ not on self. If your focus is on the other and you can build them up and meet their needs, they will benefit and it’s time for you to speak up!
For further reflection and discussion:
- What percentage of my talking builds others up? What needs to change and how will I learn new ways of talking?
- Is the focus of my speaking on myself or on others? What is the result in my life, relationships, and leadership?
- Evaluate a recent conversation you had with a close friend. How much of the time in that conversation was I focused on the needs of that friend? What was the result? What difference would it make if I was able to focus more on their needs?
- Anticipate a conversation you expect to have in the next few days. What are the needs of the person I will talk with? In what way can I meet that need? What obstacles would keep me from helping that person with what I say?