Issue #107, June 3, 2013
Paul continues to raise the standard for servant leaders and continues his quality assurance checklist by telling Timothy that a godly leader must not be “quarrelsome” (1 Timothy 3:3). Quarrelsome is a habitual inclination to disagree and stir up contention. The writer of Proverbs paints a colorful picture of a quarrelsome person, “As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife” (Proverbs 26:21). Unfortunately, this describes the way some leaders use their influence. In contrast, servant leaders promote peace by demonstrating three of the fruits of the Spirit listed by Paul in Galatians 5:22-23.
Leaders who promote peace demonstrate love.
Genuine love for others is expressed as leaders try to bring people together and resolve conflict. Leaders without love for others promote conflict. They use their words to incite conflict and bring division. As they do, they show only love for themselves and their own cause. They don’t care about the wounds, death, and pain which will be inflicted on others as a result of their actions. Servant leaders care more about the welfare of those they lead than themselves. They desire the best for others because they love them. They genuinely want those they lead to be at peace with themselves and others and yield their own rights for the sake of those they love.
Leaders who promote peace demonstrate self-control.
Many friendships have been broken by persons who could not control their tongue. On a larger scale, nations have been led into war by leaders who recklessly stir up hatred towards those of a different tribe, language or religion. They fan the flame of our natural sinful tendencies which also bring strife and division. Proverbs states, Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18). Servant leaders learn to think carefully before speaking and to control their tongue. They control their own anger in an effort to promote peace.
Leaders who promote peace demonstrate patience.
Promoting peace takes much patience. Selfish leaders want their opinion to be heard. They are more concerned about winning the argument than maintaining the relationship. They impatiently raise their voice and insist on being heard. Servant leaders patiently listen to the opinions of others and seek to find the common ground. They do not compromise truth but are not argumentative. They work patiently to bring people together. They do not give up after one failed attempt. Servant leaders recognize that promoting peace is often a long and difficult process and they are willing to pay the price.
A biblical example of a leader who deliberately avoided quarrels is Joseph, the Prime Minister of Egypt. He came from a contentious family with plenty of arguments and dissension. But he patiently and lovingly promoted peace. When in power, he could have used his authority to inflame wrongs from the past but he controlled himself for the good of others. As he sent his brothers home he gave them counsel which is just as valid for servant leaders today, "Don't quarrel on the way!" (Genesis 45:24).
For further reflection and discussion:
- When is the last time you raised your voice in an argument? What does it indicate about the condition of your heart?
- Would your family describe you as a peacemaker? What about those who work with you? Those under your leadership? Why or why not?
- Reflect on the following verses from Proverbs which talk about quarreling. Listen carefully to what God is speaking to your heart as you read them. (Proverbs 15:18, 17:14, 17:19, 20:3, 26:17, 26:20)