Issue #71, December 14, 2011
Gossip, the third of the “big three” sins of the tongue, is perhaps the most damaging. Gossip is simply saying things about others that should not be said. Gossip focuses on sensational or private information. It is often untrue, but at times may actually be correct information. However, gossip never meets the biblical standard to speak “only what is helpful for building others up” (Eph. 4:29).
Servant leaders should do all within their power to remove this plague from their own lives and the group they lead. Specifically, they do three things to deal with gossip.
Servant leaders recognize the results of gossip.
Gossip has disastrous results. It has destroyed countless friendships, split churches, damaged work environments, initiated quarrels and ruined reputations. Proverbs 16:28 states, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” Servant leaders recognize that the health of relationships within their organization is a reflection of the health of their organization. They see gossip as a deadly cancer that eats their group from the inside. They recognize that the deadly results of gossip warrant their careful attention.
Servant leaders identify the causes of gossip.
Because of the devastating results of gossip, servant leaders think carefully about why they and others are tempted to gossip. Although gossip is deadly, it feels good. Prov. 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels: they go down to a man's inmost parts.” Gossip makes people feel superior to others and may reveal personal insecurity. When I gossip about another person, I feel superior to that person. Gossip often reflects minds which are so small that they are not thinking about things bigger than stories of other people. Servant leaders recognize these various causes of gossip.
Servant leaders train followers to avoid gossip.
Servant leaders recognize that it is their responsibility to influence their group in this area. They model the way by guarding their own tongue against gossip and asking for forgiveness if they fail. They work hard to create an environment of truth and transparency in the organization which discourages gossip. They also help their followers to eliminate this sin. When gossip is present in the group the servant leader quickly acts to stop the spread of the deadly poison. Servant leaders are on guard against the warning signs that gossip is coming. Gossip often follows these three opening lines: “Do you know…?” “Have you heard…?” and “Someone told me….” Effective leaders discourage their group from using these opportunities to gossip or listen to gossip. When they hear someone using these lines, they quickly ask the person to confirm the report, repeat it in the presence of the person being mentioned, or request them not to repeat the matter. Servant leaders call followers to a higher standard and share vision that lifts their eyes to higher callings (See Philippians 4:8 and 1 Timothy 5:13). Their vision inspires action that reduces idle time where gossip flourishes. When necessary servant leaders take appropriate disciplinary steps to keep gossip from taking root under their leadership.
Gossip is so common that many accept it as a part of life. Servant leaders recognize that God’s standard is higher and lead the way in confronting this sin. My prayer is that He will give you wisdom to identify and reduce the gossip in your sphere of influence.
For further reflection and discussion:
- To what extent are you aware of your own tendency to gossip? Reflect on this before asking your spouse or trusted friend for their perspective.
- How much is gossip impacting the group you lead? Do others on your leadership team agree with your assessment? What factors contribute to this? (If your group has little gossip identify what has been done to discourage this behavior. If your group has much, discuss why.)
- Are there steps you should take as a leader after prayer and reflection to show servant leadership in the area of gossip? Share your plan with a trusted friend and agree together when you will take the step(s).
For more reflection consider the following verses: Proverbs 10:18, 16:28, 18:8, 20:19, 26:20; Philippians 4:8; Titus 3:1,2; I Tim. 5:13.