Issue #69, November 16, 2011
In the last issue we acknowledged the amazing power servant leaders have in their tongue, “The power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). James cautions leaders that they will be held accountable for how they use their tongue and warns us that “no man can tame the tongue” (James 3:8). I don’t believe he is urging us to give up, but challenging us that the task of taming the tongue is a difficult process which demands diligent effort. Every leader will struggle in some area with the power of their tongue. In this, and the next two issues, we will look at what I call ‘the big three’ sins of the tongue: too many words, lying and gossip. Servant leaders should be alert for signs of any of these in their leadership.
The first is simply talking too much! All leaders talk a lot, it is the way we communicate vision and direction. But scripture warns against talking too much. Paul warns Timothy, a young servant leader, “Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly” (2 Tim. 2: 16). The writer of Ecclesiastes even warns us against talking to God too much (Ecclesiastes 5:1-3)! Some people talk and talk! What’s wrong with too many words?
Too many words leads to other sins.
Prov. 10:19, says, “When words are many, sin is not absent.” Those who talk too much will inevitably end up committing some sin with their speech. When the truth is finished, lies will follow. When a good report is over, a bad report will continue. When nice things to be said are all gone, slander or gossip will continue. Beware of leaders who talk too much! Servant leaders recognize the truth of these words, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Too many words hinder listening.
Talking and listening can’t happen at the same time. Most of us find it easy to talk but difficult to listen. James challenges us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19) God gave us two ears and one mouth. Apparently we should listen twice as much as we talk! Servant leaders develop the art of listening to those they lead.
Too many words are selfish.
When a leader speaks too much it indicates that he/she feels more important than those who are supposed to listen. Talking too much says that my agenda is more important than yours. I value what I have to say more than what you might be ready to contribute. The focus is on self instead of others. Servant leadership is about meeting the needs of others, not satisfying my own desire to express myself. When I talk too much I am not serving others, I am serving myself.
Talking too much is not simply an issue of personality. There are clearly people who naturally talk more than others and they may struggle more with this issue of too many words. But any personality can easily say more than is needed and find it difficult to genuinely listen to the needs of others.
Servant leaders clearly need to talk! They communicate God’s vision and direction for those they lead. They use their mouths to encourage and at times to rebuke. But they need to guard against the danger of too many words and ask God for the self-control needed to close their mouths!
For further reflection and discussion:
- Think about someone you know who talks too much. (We can often more clearly see the sins of others than of ourselves!) What does it feel like when you are around them? What can you learn for your own leadership from this reflection?
- Reflect on your own personality. Do you naturally talk much or little? In what ways are you tempted to talk too much? Has anyone ever told you, “You talk too much?” What impact has too much talking had on your leadership? Are there persons from whom you need to ask forgiveness?
- How well do you listen to others? Plan a meeting with someone and try to simply listen and ask questions for 10 minutes. Don’t say anything else!