Issue #65, September 21, 2011
Leaders pursue their goals with intensity and focus on their objectives. But effective leaders also know what to avoid. The Bible provides many instructions for servant leaders to ‘avoid,’ ‘run away from’ or ‘stay away!’ As I evaluated these instructions I found most of them centered around two categories: people and temptations. We’ll examine the art of avoiding temptation in our next issue; for now let’s think about the art of avoiding people!
All leaders are in the people business and relationships are a key ingredient to success. At the same time, leaders recognize that the people with whom they associate can influence them either positively or negatively. Servant leaders take seriously the caution of scripture about who to avoid.
Avoid people who talk too much.
The writer of Proverbs says it very clearly; A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. When words are many, sin is not absent. (Proverbs 20:19 and 10:19) Paul adds, Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. (2 Timothy 2:16) Does this remind you of anyone you know?
Avoid people who argue.
Paul warns Titus about people who take pleasure in arguments. But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. (Titus 3:9) Leaders are problem solvers and healthy debate is to be encouraged. But some persons are more interested in the debate than the solution. They are more focused on winning arguments than building the organization. Avoid them!
Avoid people who are divisive.
So much contemporary talk is divisive that we easily become used to it! Church leaders speak negatively about other denominations with different perspectives; staff in organizations can easily criticize the competition. Politicians sometimes deliberately stir up feelings of animosity between opposing groups of people hoping for personal benefit. This is not a new challenge for leaders. Years ago Paul cautioned, I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. (Romans 16:17-18)
Avoid people who are hot-tempered!
Those who are quick to become angry make dangerous friends. Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. (Proverbs 22:24-25) Servant leaders practice self-control, a fruit of the Spirit, and avoid angry friends.
Servant leaders do not avoid these relationships out of hatred. But they acknowledge that when possible, their choice of relationships will impact their own ability to lead. They recognize that part of self-discipline is learning the art of avoiding those who will lead them in the wrong direction. They make every effort to be people who are the opposite: with controlled speech, avoiding useless debates, bringing people together instead of driving them apart and keeping their emotions under control. And whenever possible, they avoid those heading in the opposite direction!
For further reflection and discussion:
- Before looking at your friends, look at yourself! Do you talk or argue too much, divide rather than unite, or quickly lose your temper? If so, what does this indicate about your heart? What steps can you take to allow God to begin to change you?
- Reflect on your closest circle of friends, the ones you choose to be with when you have time. Are they friends who build you up or tear you down? Are they helping you fulfill God’s purposes for your life? Are any changes needed?
- Where you have relationships with negative persons which are unavoidable, what steps can you take to guard yourself against negative influences?