Issue #3, March 27, 2009
One of the most painful acts of parenting and leadership is releasing. We invest so much time and energy into our children and those we lead that it is difficult to let them go. Although we knew from the day of our first child’s birth that one day he would leave home, it was not easy when it was time to let him go.
In my pastoral leadership one of the hardest tests for me was to willingly release leaders in whom I had invested much. I wanted them to stay and work with me and help accomplish the vision God had given. But God often called them on to other places and I had to learn to release them. I recall a dark time when I wrestled with what I saw happening. It seemed unfair and a waste of my time to train people and then see them leave. God slowly brought me to a point of accepting that I was called to raise leaders and release them.
Dysfunctional parents don’t release their children. They want to hold on to their children and to live out their dreams through them. Secure parents are able to identify the unique ‘bent’ of their children and not only release them but encourage them to develop their own areas of giftedness and calling. Likewise, dysfunctional leaders seek to hold on to everyone around them. They are focused on building their own kingdom and people are simply tools to be used for the process of building. Delegation is simply a way to get the job done, not a way to develop the potential of others.
Servant leaders learn that part of their calling is to equip others to fulfill their calling and then release them to fly. Servant leaders are able to release others because they are not focused on their own agenda and genuinely want the best for others. The focus is on identifying and developing their strengths and potential. This doesn’t mean that everyone will leave! Certainly, God will provide people around us to help us accomplish the vision He has given us. But when His call on someone’s life is to move out, I serve them by releasing them with blessing. Instead of pain, it is a privilege to see others blossom and move out to be the leaders God has called them to be.
Keep leading…and keep releasing!
Yours on the journey,
Jon
For further reflection and discussion:
- What is the result when leaders ‘hold on’ to the people they lead?
- Why is it difficult to release others?
- What biblical examples can you identify of leaders who released others? What was the result?
- Who is God calling you to release today?